This is my first PLL story, before this I've written stories for iCarly. Usually my stories are more original, actually this is the first time I've written a story that follows an episode and I know that this has already been done a lot but I figured that this is the best way to get into the characters thoughts, also I loved that episode and that part and I wanted to try something new. So here it is.
Spencer's POV:
The bell rings signaling that someone walked inside the diner and my heart starts racing. Is it him? Is he really alive? I title my head to the side so that my black hood would hide my face and wait for the person to sit in front of me. He doesn't and even though I was freaking out when I thought it would be him, now I feel even more nervous. What if he really is dead? What if I did all of this for nothing and he's really gone? I don't think I could handle loosing that little bit of hope that I just got back. The bell rings again and once more my breath hatches in my throat. I listen to the person's footsteps as he gets closer and closer to me. I imagine his face, his blue eyes... God please make it be him, please. He sits down in front of me and my heart starts racing even more. Is it really him?
"Hanna got the job." He says. Oh my God it's really him, he's alive.
"I know." I say and raise my head. For a moment I feel relieved, because he's alive and he's okay, but that moment passes and the feelings of being used and betrayed come crashing back.
"Spencer." He says shocked. His surprised eyes search mine like he's trying to read me, trying to understand what exactly I'm feeling and thinking. I try to make my eyes cold, but I'm not sure if I succeed. A part of me wants to hug him and never let him go again, but the other part reminds me that he lied to me, everything that he ever said was a lie. I stop myself from screaming at him, I came here to get some answers and that's what I'm going to get.
"When I was in Radley Mona told me that you were alive, I wanted to believe her, but until now..." I trail off, if I continue I'll get to emotional and I don't want for him to know how much I still love him, he doesn't deserve that. My thoughts drift back to the woods, when I found his 'body' I felt... I don't even know words that would describe how devastated I felt and that says a lot. Before we continue this conversation I need to know something, I need to know if he was the one that put me through that.
"Back in he woods, was that you?... Were you a part of it?" I ask trying my best to keep hope out of my voice.
"Mona told me after." He says trying to meet my gaze, but I avoid his eyes. Suddenly rage takes over me. How could he? He opens his mouth to say something else, but I cut him off.
"And you let me believe you were dead?" I ask putting all of my rage into my voice, I want for him to understand just how much I hate him right now. He looks hurt by my harsh tone. Good, he deserves it.
"Everything I've done was so I could protect you." He says, I look into his eyes and to my surprise he looks... honest and... guilty. His eyes are begging me to believe him. He looks so guilty that it almost makes me forgive him... almost.
"I want to believe that." I say honestly. Could he be telling the truth? Or maybe it's just another lie? Another trick to pull me in and then break me even more?
"...Let me take you somewhere safe." He says desperately. Does he really expect me to believe that he actually cares about my safety? How am I supposed to know that he won't kidnap me or hurt me? No matter how hard it is for me to think of him that way he is the enemy, he is A.
"Does Mona know you're here?" He asks after not getting an answer from me.
"No." I answer. There's a moment of silence so I decide to continue.
"She told me that you would be there Friday. That you would be my reward for delivering the girls." He looks shocked at this, honestly I'm shocked by my own actions as well.
"How did you find me?" He asks not pressing any further into my decision to join the A team.
"She left me alone in her lair... I kidnapped a seven year old, I'm the reason Aria and Ezra broke up... so I earned her trust." I say. Saying it out loud makes me realize just how true it is... I betrayed my best friend and for what?... For some boy who turned out to be someone completely different than I thought him to be?
"It's not safe for you to be here." He says. The way I see it, it's not safe for me to be with him, but yet here I am.
"I stopped worrying about me a long time ago." I say harshly. If he looked guilty before, then now looking at him makes me feel like he blames himself for everything that's wrong with the world. He did this to me and he knows it, which is exactly what I want, I what for him to look at what he did and hurt at least half as much as I've been hurting. But for that he'd have to actually care about me and I doubt that he does, this whole thing is probably just another act.
"What we had was real. I've been pretending to work with Mona so I could keep you safe." He desperately tries to get some of my trust again and this makes me hesitate. Maybe, just maybe, he's telling the truth. 'What we had was real' I've been dying to hear those words ever since that night in the kitchen, but I lost hope that I actually would a long time ago.
"I need you to believe me... and I need you to follow me." He says. For a moment we stare at each other, his eyes pleading with me to trust him and mine trying to keep up an angry glare. Finally he stands up and leaves the dinner. Do I follow him? Do I give him a chance to explain himself even though I might be walking straight into a trap? I don't know. But what I do know is that if I don't follow him now I'm going to regret that for the rest of my life, so I stand up and walk outside. He's sitting in his truck, so I open the door and get in the passenger seat. He looks surprised.
"I didn't think you'd come." He says softly.
"For a moment I didn't either." I say. We start driving. For the first few minutes we drive in silence and I keep on nervously glancing out the window. Toby wouldn't hurt me, right? Even if everything was a lie and this is just another trick to hurt me, I'd like to believe that he wouldn't physically hurt me, but after everything that I've been through I'm not sure what to believe anymore.
"Where are we going?" I finally ask.
"To a motel, it's not far away." He reassures me.
After a long, silent ride we finally get to the motel. We walk inside and I'm surprised at how empty the room is. He starts making coffee, I know that he's just staling the talk that inevitable, but that's okay, I kind of want to stall it too.
"It doesn't look like anyone lives here." I voice my thoughts.
"I've been staying in different motels, Mona doesn't know about this one." He says and gives me the coffee. My heart skips a beat when our fingers brush. He sits down on the bed a few feet away from me. I'm relieved that he's giving me space, because a part of me still thinks that coming here was a huge mistake.
"And red coat?" I ask.
"The only thing I know about red coat is that she's in charge." He says.
"I know." I say. He looks up at me and the pain in his eyes tells me that he can see my distrust.
"You still don't trust me." He says. You got that right.
"Look, I get why you joined Mona, I made the same decision, but if I would've seen you hurting the way that I know you saw me..." I trail off unable to continue. He doesn't respond, he just looks up at me. He's crying. Toby is crying. The pain that I see in his eyes... you can't fake that kind of pain. He looks down.
"Toby." I say softly while waking up to him. I kneel down in front of him and put my hand to his face. He looks up at me and we just stare at each other. He pulls me closer and we kiss. Suddenly I realize just how much I love him and just how much I've missed him. He betrayed me and a part of me still doesn't completely trust him and probably won't for a while, but one thing I am sure about - he loves me, he really loves me... and that's worth fighting for.
I hope that you liked it and please review and tell me what you thought of it :)