The REAL Edward's Vacation

by nightlight6

This has nothing to do with Incas! When the Cullens go to Hawaii, Bella tries to find stuff to do, leading to hilarious catastrophe! The ultimate worldly Twilight comedy! the actual one, thank you :

1. The Beginning

Edward's Vacation

Sorry to those of who read part of my old Incas report, that was an accident! Enjoy!

Chapter 1: The Beginning

It was a semi-sunny day in Forks, and Bella was enjoying it by watching sappy soap-operas on the television.

" Roderick, I thought you loved me!" " I do, but my Hungarian grandmother's cold sores are getting worse and worse, I must leave!"

"The suspense is killing me, either that, or those Twinkies are dissolving me from the inside out." Bella said, not really looking at the TV screen. Where the hell is Edward? I'm dying of drama overdose here! All of the sudden, the door-bell rang. " FINALLY!!!!!" Bella screamed in an exasperated voice. As she ran to the door, she heard Jacob's truck running outside. When she opened the door, she looked up to see Jacob wearing a sort of victorious smile. " Jacob, what are you doing here? I thought you were Edward!" Jacob continued with his creepy smile, " Actually, I think you won't be seeing much of that leech for awhile." Bella looked confused, " Uh… what?" " Edward-is-on-vacation. Was that slow enough for you?" Bella glared at him, " Is this a trick? What did you do with Edward?!" Jacob sighed, " I didn't do anything to him, he and the other blood-suckers are in Hawaii. Whatever, I'm out. I have important werewolf stuff to do" And with that, Jacob went back to his car, leaving Bella looking very confused.

Bella paced around the living room, thinking. O.k, I've called the Cullens like 12 times, they're not there. Maybe Jacob wasn't lying. Her thoughts stopped when she tripped over the remote. After screaming various curse words that could get me arrested for saying them on the internet, Bella turned to extreme measures. " Hey, Angela, do you want to go up to Port Angeles, do some shopping and stuff? Hello? Hello?! Great, she hung up." Bella put back the phone, thinking about what else she could do. " Um, I'm sorry ma'am, what?" " You heard me, I would like to know where I could get lottery tickets!" " I'm sorry ma'am, but you need to be 18 to play, and you sound more like 16 or 17 to me." " So what if I'm 17? I'M BORED HERE!" When the dude on the other end hung up, Bella knew she had to try something else.

Sorry, for the cliffhanger, the second chapter is coming soon!