D.J. sat staring at the plate of food placed before him, his forever golden eyes listless and although he was hungry, his stomach churned moodily at even the thought of food. His quills had grown out until they were down his back, spilling messily over his face, his dirt spattered goggles unable to hold them back. Both his pants and trench coat stank of sweat and desperation and his body language sang of hopelessness.

His stomach rolled violently as he attempted to put a small morsel of food to his lips, his nostrils curling with distaste at the smell of the beef. He lowered his fork back to the plate and handed it to another person who looked, if possible, even more bedraggled then he. As he shifted, the coat flapped open, reveling matted yellow fur dulled by fatigue and lack of food. Ribs showed where once muscles rippled underneath the skin and fur, boasting his strength.

He looked up at one of the volunteers at the homeless shelter, her brown eyes catching his for just enough time to make his heart flutter and then sink in bitter disappointment. He sat back down against the wall, thoughts wandering back to when he was younger and held more innocence.

I'm not sober all the time

You bring me down

At least you try

Until we see this eye to eye

I don't want you

2 years before

D.J. pounds his fist into Max's lab door, hiccupping softly before leaning unsteadily against the door frame, his trench coat draped over one arm and his eyes glazed with drunkenness and pain in equal measures. As Max answers the late summons he manages to force himself onto unsteady feet, staggering leaving a small amount of blood dripping onto the ground in his wake.

Max deftly examines his arm and extends water towards his good hand, sitting across from him on what looks like the only other chair in the whole place. Placing his hands over his mouth and keeping the neutral look on his voice, he gestures to D.J,'s broken arm.

"Fighting at the bar again?" he asks softly, a hint of cold fury entering the calm voice.

"'Ss none ov yuour busssinesss," D.J. manages to slur out, swaying in his seat, "Wha' iss you trahin' tah be you biig sstupid ssun off a bisssh."

"Obviously your keeper, since you can't keep after you yourself and your sister is out of town," Max replies, the temperature in his voice dropping another couple of degrees, "Keep it up and you'll end up in either the jail or the hospital… Or both come to think of it."

"Ahh, you dunno nuffink, ya biig palooka," he manages to stammer as Max slowly stands and walks over, looking at DJ's drunken, pain glazed eyes before hoisting him onto his feet.

Max puts him into his vehicle, (built from scratch, of course) and drives them both to the hospital, dropping the staggering, pain-lanced DJ off at the ER and then driving away.

I must be running out of luck

'Cause you're just not drunk enough to fuck

And now I've had it up to here

I don't, I don't want you

8 months later…

DJ comes back to his apartment from his hunting, heat burning in his veins. He slowly opens the door to the shared apartment, love, and something more carnal, filling his golden eyes. Walking up behind Krystal, who is busy in the kitchen preparing another lonely meal for one, he slips his arms around her stomach, pressing his lips against her neck, nibbling softly at the tender flesh.

He stops as she stiffens and turns around, his hands still resting on her hips, his body pressed against hers and his eyes glazed with lust.

"DJ…" she whispered softly before his lips capture hers in a frantic kiss, his hands roaming over her body almost in desperation pressing her against the counter, moving his lips to her neck to nibble and bite only hard enough to make her gasp. "DJ… Please!"

Her plea pulled his head up to look at her, anger now burning within the lust, his teeth half bared towards her. "What Krystal?" he asked, trying to restrain the snap in his voice and failing.

She flinched under the snap towards her, looking up at him with the brown eyes, tears starting to brim in them. "I…I…"

Anger bit into DJ once again.

"Can't it wait until later?" he asked, once again the emotion in his voice cracking like a whip.

And it was one whip crack to many that pushed her over the edge, causing her to shove DJ away from her and up against the table. With her hands balled into fists and tears of frustration welling up in her eyes she screamed at him, the hair she had pulled up into a tidy little bun now falling down in crimped strands.

"GET OUT YOU LOUSY, NO GOOD SON OF A BITCH!!" she screamed, throwing a pot at his head, just barely missing the left side of his face and showering his coat in broth and noodles, "I HATE YOU!! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!"

Cold fury turned his gold eyes into a hard yellow and he pulled his goggles over his eyes before striding out the door, the door and frame turning to ice at his touch. It shattered as he slammed it, the bits of glass-like ice tinkling on the doorstep and porch.

Anger kept Krystal from following and hurt made her pull the single dinner off of the stove, half cooked, stow it away and then walk slowly and painstakingly to her bedroom, filled with memories of passion and pleasure. As she sank onto the mattress, tears once more welled in her eyes as her face crumpled in pain before sinking to lay on the mattress, tears streaming down her face and her hands wrapped loosely around her belly, murmuring between sobs.

"I'm pregnant DJ… I'm pregnant…"

It took so long to say

You walked away from me

When I need you

Now…

DJ stood once more, wincing and grasping his stomach, hunger pains setting in as his stomach once again complained about having to go without food, not remembering that it was it that rejected perfectly good stew. He growled at his belly before glancing at another volunteer, catching the black fox's eye and nodding before walking out the door, sending a small flick of his wrist as a parting wave before walking out the door.

The volunteer with the brown eyes walked over to the black fox and gently touched his shoulder.

"Who was that Rick?" she asked, her fire coloured fur gleaming in the bright light of the shelter

"That was DJ," he said quietly, his deep baritone voice drifting across the room, "Nice youngster, but so seeped in his own mind he's probably cracked one time too many."

"And how many times is too many?" she asked skeptically.

"For the charming young man I knew? Once is too many times Collette. I don't know if he'll ever pull out of it."

Wake up

I'm poundin' on the door

I'm not the man I was before

Where the Hell are you

When I need you

Now…

DJ stood outside of a familiar lab door, his hand trembling in a fist almost as if he is waiting to knock. His glazed yellow eyes shut and he raps on the door softly, fear causing his heart rate to shoot skyward.

A few seconds passed and no answer and he knocked again, this time louder. He stuffed his hand into his coat pockets, forcing himself to open his eyes, fear lancing through the confused glazing.

Just as he pulled a hand out of his pocket and rose it to knock again, the door knob twisted, reveling a small sliver a light and a chain keeping the door from opening any farther then it was. Lifting his hand away from the door's surface and using it to instead shield his eyes, he looked into the startled face of his once friend, Max.

Bewilderment showed in Max's face which quickly turned to the emotionless mask that showed nothing, though pity could be seen just barely in his eyes. DJ lowered his head, his shoulders hunching in the process.

"I'm sorry," DJ murmured, almost choking on the words before looking back up, the light falling on his gaunt face and wild eyes.

"You've fallen a long way since you were my friend, "Max said, almost as softly, the pity in his eyes replaced with loathing, "And I hope you didn't come here expecting refuge. Go back to the shelter or over to your sister's place."

Frustration glanced across the glazed gold. "I can't, "he stated simply, looking up at Max, his coat shifting to revel the tattered and matted fur and prominent ribs and hip bones that seemed just under his skin.

"You probably screwed her over like you did me," he said softly, contempt glaring outwards in his eyes. He opened the door just a little further and spat at DJ's feet. "You reap what you sow, Child of the Sun."

"Don't call me that!" DJ cried heatedly, but to a now closed door, his fist hammering the metal hard enough to leave a few prominent dents in it. When Max continued to refuse to open it and talk to him any more, he sank to his knees, dry sobs racking his pitiful body.

Wake up

I'm poundin' on the door

I won't hurt you anymore

Where the Hell are you

When I need you

1 day later

DJ rubbed his left shoulder, the little bit of muscle protesting as he stretched to pick up the dirt spattered trench coat that he had used as a pillow the night before. Wincing and rolling his shoulders he glanced at his forearm, just now noticing the scabs from cuts that had been fairly recent.

It came back almost in a fug as he vaguely remembered two teenagers sneaking up on his sleeping form in the middle of the night in attempt to mug him. Shock widened his glazed eyes as he realized he had turned the knives that each of the boys had on themselves, hurting them enough just to run them off. Obviously his hunger and lack of energy had sapped him of his strength and that had caused the multiple small, shallow cuts and the deep puncture wound on his leg that was still healing.

Pain once more entering his eyes, he pulled his trench coat on and shuffled off, dragging his left leg. It was time to go back to the shelter. He would try and make it up to his sister in a while, as it always was when they were younger.

I'm not angry all the time

You push me down

At least you try

Until we see this eye to eye

I don't want you

8 months ago

DJ walked slowly up to his sister's doorstep, an internal pain lancing at his soul. He knocked and then poked his head in when there is no answer. He gently pushed the door open watching the sleeping form on the couch in the living room breathe in an out slowly, feeling anger swell up and settle in a ball in his stomach. His lips curled at the scent of the male that seemed to permeate the whole of the house.

His sister walked out of her bedroom, a rumpled look in her Pajamas causing his lips to curl back even more. Catching the look of her brother, Aianna comes to a complete halt halfway through her morning walk to the kitchen to scrounge up something to eat. She gave him a wary glance.

"He's a friend DJ. He got kicked out of his place and asked to stay here," she murmured in a musical alto voice, "He's only staying until he can find a place."

At this point, the blue merle coloured fox lifted his head up off the pillow and sat up, clothed only in his boxers. He stood up and stretched, the slightly muscular build flexing to show off. He licked his lips slightly and then glances over at DJ as if sizing him up. He gently wrapped his arms over Aianna's shoulders, kissing her cheek and looking at DJ with an eyebrow raised.

"Who is this joker Anna?" he asked in a slight British accent, his tail twitching only slightly, "How dare he undermine such a kind woman and question her objectives?"

Aianna flushed a slight pink at the words and mumbled something DJ couldn't hear distinctly other then "brother" and "you're visiting here."

Rage took hold and glimmered brightly in DJ's golden eyes. Still locking eyes with the fox, he felt rage take its form as heat, the temperature increasing a few degrees in the house. Aianna stiffened slightly as she felt the subtle change in heat, her eyes widening slightly and a tiny jerk of her head telling him to stop.

He ignored those signs.

"Get out," DJ commanded, his voice as cold as ice while the temperature continued to sky rocket, causing the Fox to start sweating almost immediately, though Aianna kept his body from coming to damage with her ice.

"My, hasn't it gotten a tad bit warm in here Anna?" he asks, pulling at an imaginary collar and pulling away from her just a teeny bit at a low growl coming from DJ's throat.

"I said 'Get out,'" DJ snarled, fire burning in the molten gold eyes, his fists clenched.

"What are you going to do?" the fox asked skeptically, "Force me to throw you out myself?"

Flames erupted in DJ's hands, as hot as the sun and as bright and they spiraled up his arms. "You honestly want to try?"

"DJ!"

Aianna flung herself in front of the fox, her arms held outwards as if to block DJ's attempted burning of the fox. Her own eyes turned a cold icy colour, even the golden left eye as ice formed on her hands, frost coating her whole body.

"Back. Off," she snarled, ice blue eyes meeting fiery golden ones, "You have no right to be here, ordering friends out of my home. So now I'm telling you DJ. Get out of my house or I will force you out."

"You'd throw out your brother over some fuckbuddy!?" he asked, incredulous, "How dare you!?"

Aianna rushed at him, placing one of her hands on his shoulder, his arm becoming encased in ice, snuffing out the flames on that limb. She spun to avoid a swipe from her brother and touched the second shoulder, the other arm becoming encased likewise before moving out of reach.

"That's how I dare," she murmured, "Now if you don't want to be a statue in the park plaza, encased in everlasting ice, I suggest you leave."

Knowing his command over ice wasn't as strong as hers and his power of fire would only melt the ice and give her some water to fling at him, he begrudgingly left, fuming as the ice on his arms slowly melting from the inside out.

Aianna slowly shut the door. Her hands trembled and she looked back at the blue merle, British fox, tears welling up in her eyes.

"I'm sorry you had to see that Elijah," she mumbled, "It's alright is you want to go…"

"Thank you for your hospitality Anna and I must go, but not because of the reason you think," he gently pressed his lips to her forehead, "I'm able to move in with my boyfriend today, and I've already packed." He grinned at her, "I'll only stomp on your toes until lunch.

She gave him a sad smile, "It's such a tragedy that someone as hot as you is gay. I'll miss you." She hugged him tightly, "Don't forget to text me sometime. Or I swear I'll hunt you down."

It took so long to say

You walked away from me

When I need you

Present, 3 days after leaving

DJ's body trembled as he stood in front of the quaint little town house that was his sister's. The strength was draining from him and he felt as if he couldn't go on if someone didn't forgive him.

Wake up

I'm poundin' on the door

I'm not the man I was before

Where the Hell are you

When I need you

His hand trembled as he raised the knocker in the shape of a moon joined with a sun in a sort of eclipse. Her breathed in deeply and banged the knocker against wood only twice, not having the strength or the heart to knock any more times.

"Coming!" his sister seemed to sing, the door knob, ornately finished to look like the surface of the moon bet to feel perfectly smooth. He gulped, staring down at his bare, scarred feet to avoid seeing pity and hatred in the second most important person in his life's eyes.

Wake up

I'm poundin' on the door

I won't hurt you anymore

Where the Hell are you

When I need you

The door swung open, showing a beautiful woman, her golden hair now cropped a bit shorter and swinging about her shoulders, just long enough to extend past them. No recognition flashed in the mismatched eyes that she had had since birth.

"Hullo Ai," DJ murmured, his low tenor voice cracking slightly as he used the nickname for her only he had used.

"DJ?" horror flashed in her eyes and she pulled him into the small but comfortable house. She made to hug him but shrunk back, pinching her nose. "You need a bath DJ."

That simple, so ordinary comment made him burst into tears, pressing rough and cracked hands up to his glazed gold eyes, sobbing into them.

"DJ, DJ," she sang softly, one hand drawing his hands away from his face and then other wiping the tears from his eyes. "You need to have a nice, hot shower and I'll wash your clothes so you can go see Krystal."

"Krystal?" DJ said, his voice mixed with confusion and anticipation, "I can't go see her… She hates me…"

"No DJ, you're going to see her."

"You're not going to make me go today are you?" It sounded like the desperate plea that is was.

"No. You can go when you're ready to see her."

It took so long to say

You walked away from me

When I need you

DJ stood in the shower, watching a mixture of mud, shampoo and water slide down the drain. He picked up a bar of soap and scrubbed his body with it for lack of anything else to do, marveling for the first time just how much grime one body could hold. He then scrubbed more shampoo into his quills, thinking to himself he needed to get them cut back to their normal length and how annoying having them this long was.

He stepped out of the shower and dried himself off before picking up the jeans, shirt and boxers his sister had laid out for him and putting them on, piece by piece, slowly before shaking out his quills, hanging up the towel and walking out of the bathroom.

He shuffled into the kitchen almost dejectedly as if expecting to be thrown out. He glimpsed his sister sitting at the table, sipping a small bowl of chicken noodle soup. She pointed to the stove as if to say 'There's plenty more for you.'

He shuffled over to the stove, pulled out a bowl from overhead and filled it full, finally noticing his keen hunger and how badly his stomach wanted the soup.

He sat across from his sister and took a bit of the soup. The flavour flooded his mouth and made him want to gulp it all down. He instead ate it slowly and when his spoon finally hit the bottom of the bowl he looked up at his sister.

"Ai?"

"Yes DJ?"

"Can we go to the barber tomorrow?"

She looked at him skeptically and then smiled. "You really need a quill cut big bro."

"I know baby sis."

"Yes we can go and get you a quill cut tomorrow."

"Thank you…"

Wake up

I'm poundin' on the door

I'm not the man I was before

Where the Hell are you

When I need you

9 years later

DJ stood out in front of a nice little cottage way out in the woods, soaking in the quaint and happy feeling of the place. He could feel the warmth and happiness overflowing in the richness of the air, the feet of the earth, solid and stead under his paws and the sound of a babbling brook that was burbling not too far from where he was standing.

Over the nine years, he had managed to get back to an almost normal physique though his body still had a pinched look as if he didn't get quite enough to sustain the muscles that he one had had only a decade ago. Forcing himself to take step after step, he finally made it to the front door, hearing small shouts and happy sounds from behind the door.

'What ifs' flooded his panicked mind. What if she had a husband and lived happily with him and her children? What if he was intruding on happiness that he would never be apart of?

What if, what if, what if?

He wasn't going to find anything out just by standing where he was. DJ slowly lifted his hand and ran them through his recently cropped quills, the short spines spiking every which way on their own, though it didn't seem to dishevel his appearance.

Gathering ever ounce of courage he had, DJ rapped his knuckles on the wood and then stepped back, awaiting the look of some man who had appeared in the life of the person he loved with all his heart.

Wake up

I'm poundin' on the door

I won't hurt you anymore

Where the Hell are you

When I need you

"I got it Mommy!" came a muffled cry from inside as the doorknob twisted.

DJ's heart caught in his throat as he looked at the young girl standing before him the spitting image of her mother. Only he noticed the small differences. The girl only had one tail and the tip seemed to have rings as though there were craters on the fur, like his tail. And then there were the gold eyes that started as bright gold as his and shifted into a soft hazel enough to melt your heart.

DJ couldn't help but think that this girl would be a heart breaker in his time alive.

"Hullo," DJ said softly in his light baritone voice, "Is your mother home?"

"JENNYFER!!" a high tenor voice called and a young boy appeared in the door, crowing his sister out of the way, not bothering to notice DJ as his sister did.

"I wanna see who it is!"

Sharp gold quills stood up on the small boy's head, pointed so much like DJ's were now: in a messy array that didn't seem so messy when it was looked at. He had the golden fur that DJ had known only to himself, only a single tail curving with indignation as his sister finally shoved him back. The deep brown colour that he had come to associate only with Krystal was set upon the boy's eyes, only molten gold streaks seemed to stripe through his irises.

"BACK OFF CHANDLER!"

"BE QUIET JENNYFER!!"

"BOTH OF YOU STOP IT!"

Krystal rounded the bend, obviously summoned by the children's shouts and tantrums. She muttered a hasty apology, not having even glanced at DJ before sending both children into the house with a threat of no dinner if they kept acting the way they were.

"I'm sorry about that. Children are children," she said softly, her voice causing his throat to hitch and his eyes to water. She laughed at her own little saying, the tinkling sound causing his heart to shudder with pain and his courage to crumble.

'What if she won't accept me again?'

Krystal finally looked up at him, shock entering her eyes. "DJ?"

"Y-yes?" he stammered, his heart hammering painfully in his chest.

She gave him a small smile. "I didn't think you'd ever come back…"

Fin