WOW!

This is pretty fucked up.

Butters is in love with Kyle, who is in love with Kenny, who is in love with Stan, who is in love with Cartman, who is in love with Bebe, who is in love with Wendy!

How did all this happen? In my opinion, I don't really give a flying fuck, but since you want to hear the story, I guess I could tell you the story of how these seven fucked people were in love!

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November 4th, 1999, 7:34 pm

Leopold "Butters" Stoch was walking with Kyle Broflovski and Kenneth "Kenny" McCormick. It was dark and raining, Butters wanted to fuck Kyle so hard that night. But Kyle wanted to fuck Kenny. That presented a problem for Butters. He wanted Kyle all to himself! But Kenny was in the way, and if Kenny was in the way, so was Stan, Kenny's love.

Butters had to kill Kenny. He needed the help of Eric "Cartman" Cartman.

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November 4th, 1999, 8:01 pm

Butters was in Cartman's house, planning the murder. A bug caught the whole conversation:

Butters: Eric, the murder needs to go down on the 5th. I'll bring a gun to the bus stop and kill Kenny, while you kill Stan at his house.

Cartman: Butters, we need a much better plan than that! After we kill the two kids like you said, we should kidnap Kyle and bring him underground to the bomb shelter. Than we to molest the bodies of Ken and Stan in front of him to torture him into going out with you.

Butters: Awesome plan, what if one of the murders goes wrong?

Cartman: We bring them underground with the Jew.

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November 5th, 1999, 2:30 pm: The Murder

Butters's murder went off without a hitch, Cartman's however:

Cartman broke into Stan's house and tried to shoot the boy while Stan was playing video games. The shot hit him in the shoulder and he had to be taken alive because only one bullet would be used.

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November 5th, 1999, 2:45 pm: Underground

Kyle was in chains and could not move and could barely breathe. Stan was hulled underground be Cartman (Stan was bound and gagged). A bug caught the preceding conversation:

Butters: Why the hell is he here?

Cartman: Murder went wrong, very wrong!

Kyle: You tried to kill Stan too!?

Cartman: Yes we did, you fucking Jew!

Kyle: Cartman! You fat son of a bitch! You can go to hell you piece of fucked shit! You-!

Kyle was cut short when he was punched in the stomach. Kyle was bound and gagged and was beaten senseless by Butters and Cartman.

Cartman and Butters made good on their threats to rape the dead bodies of Kenny and Stan, but Stan was alive during the whole rape. Stan was then beaten almost to death.

Kyle: Why are you doing this?

Cartman: 'Cause, c-c-cause… I don't know! Stan loves me! And I love Bebe! And I think I am falling for Stan! But Kenny loved Stan! And you loved Kenny! But Bebe loves Wendy and those lesbo bitches would never love me! Look at me! I am a fucking faggot!

Kyle: Why do you think you love Stan?

Cartman: Because I enjoyed raping him!

At these words the cops came in and arrested Butters and Cartman for Murder, sexual assault, kidnapping, and extortion. Butters went to juvie for 3 years, while Cartman was there for 1½.

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Wow, huh?

Pretty fucked up now huh?

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