I only wanted to see her. Just once would have been enough. Please, tell me that isn't too much to ask. I only wanted to know her. I only want to remember her. It's all I wanted. Please? PLEASE?
My mother, the one person in this world who cared about me back then. Back when the war began. I love Udonna, I do, but she didn't protect me when I needed it. She got to stay with her. She got to see her. Am I jealous? Maybe. Udonna remembers, but she doesn't share. She doesn't show me a world that I could have had. I'm an apprentice, not a daughter, arent't I?
I want to be loved in a way only my mother could love. I want that emotion. I crave that feeling. I'm... I'm practically the adopted child of my own aunt. Can't I just be a daughter someday. Sometimes. I don't care if she left me, I just wanted to know her. That's all I wanted. I want to remember.
Hell, I can't even keep the days of the week straight. Why can't I keep the memories of someone who was supposed to be most precious to me? Why? WHY!? I'm not asking for much! Not much at all? Am I?
Damnit! I just want to remember. No memory potion for me, nothing! Please! Just give me a sign that you remember me. I forgot, you can't. You're dead, and I'm still here. I survived where you fell.
The world is cruel. It is. All I want is love. All I've ever wanted is to feel that I belong. I'm practically the daughter of a famous sorceress when I should be the child of, well, you. Please, please, please let me remember the color of your hair. The color of your eyes. Were they blue like the sky? Green like the leaves of trees, or the soft grass. What about brown, like chocolate, or wood. Or even a mystic color? Purple? Like... like.. like the evening sky? Yeah. Like that.
No? None of those? Or maybe the color of mine. Did I inherit anything from you. That's what Udonna says. She says I look like you. We don't have the pictures to prove it. Actually, she does. But she won't share with me.
I just want to remember. I just want to be loved.
-Clare
You are.
-Udonna
I've always wondered what Clare thought about once she learned who her mother was. I wrote this to show what I thought. Please R & R.