Title: Curse This Sexist World!

Sum.: While Francis already knew, Arthur was the one most impacted by the news. Alfred F. Jonesis female.

Sum.2: AU In an exclusive, international all-boys college, Avery is in disguise of a male. Since this school has the best chance of helping her become a pilot for the U.S. Air Force, why not spend four years as a guy? Of course, she didn't even think that maybe, just maybe, one of her room mates would be smitten with her, she would find her long-lost twin brother (who knew of her existence, even if she didn't share the feeling), her ex-boyfriend would be there—oh, and that she'd fall in love?

A/N: *sigh* I made the story sound so good. LOL

Want to know what's weird? I want to be a U.S. pilot. Yep. Not only that, but I want to do the dangerous stuff. Like, bombing countries and shooting down other planes and stuff. _ America has a way of making you find the hero and adventure in you…XD

So, some explaining here. Avery = America = around 21-ish? That's all that I have figured out (except Mattie, but we all know he's going to be the same age anyway.) Alfred F. Jones is Avery Freedom Jones (wow, never expected that one, now did you?) and Mattie's middle name is C. = Clarity. (*giggles*)

So, without further ado (which makes me think of Much Ado About Nothing and the character, Hero XD), R&R and enjoy!

[-]

Chapter 1: The Pros and Cons of Faking/Being a Guy

[-]

I angrily ran my fingers through the wig that hid my long hair. Why the hell did Physics have to be so confusing?

I set my pencil down, paused my iPod, and began spinning in my chair, just waiting for the reaction (and distraction) I would surely receive—

"You git! You're going to fall and I do not want to have to clean up the spilt bloo—GET OFF!" Arthur was interrupted in his rant by Francis sneak-attacking him and sliding his hands into the back pockets of Arthur's skinny jeans.

Yep, you heard me right. Arty wears skinny jeans.

Now, don't get me wrong, they look sexy—damn straight—on the Brit. But he's a guy. Does that not scream "hahaha faaaaag" in your head?

Let me explain why I, Avery Fuck-Yeah (okay, my middle name is actually Freedom, but who cares?) Jones, a pure-bred female, was currently rooming with two guys in college.

GakuHeta International Men's University does not accept those of the female race, last time I checked. (Around two years ago, if you want to know.) Yet they proudly declared on their website and every advertisement they have, that if you passed Science and Math classes with flying colors, you had a 97% chance of being accepted into the best of the best when it comes to U.S. Military-run flight schools. 3% if you passed spectacularly and were a terrorist.

(Which I'm not.)

The downfall? I had a very low chance of getting accepted into that flight school if I went to any other college.

And so, for the past two years, I have been Alfred Freedom (I wish it was Fuck-Yeah, I really do) Jones, Arthur Kirkland and Francis Bonnefoy's (male) roommate.

Now, since I am such an awesome actor(ress), I have been able to fool those two (and the educational system, for that matter) into thinking I was the guy who could hold my liquor better than the Beilshmidt boys, could eat fifty-three burgers in one sitting and still have room to wash it down with a Big Gulp from 7-11, fail Physics but pass Trig, and spend Saturday nights playing video games all night long with Kiku Honda.

This would be all nice and dandy, had it not been that I had quite a rack to hide. And that Francis always tried to grope me whenever possible. And that Arthur was head over heels for me.

Which I never actually noticed at first. I wouldn't have if Francis hadn't commented (daily) on the UST fumes that Arthur oozed.

I simply laughed, but watching Artur now, it's kind of…obvious. (Although I'm sure he doesn't even realize it.)

So far, I have spent the entire two years I've been here without getting a single invitation on a date (like I thought would happen—I never once thought that a guy would hit on me if they thought I was a fellow male—of course, this excludes Iggy, but he's too dense when it comes to love to ever realize it.)

But my ego can't take that much more.

I feel extremely tempted to show up in one of the co-ed college cafeterias (for visiting families and friends from nearby neighborhoods and such) with my hair down, wearing heels and a dress, just to land a date.

IF ONLY PHYSICS WASN'T SO HARD AND TIME CONSUMING!

"Aw, but mon cheri, how could you ever say such a thing? You know that I am the perfect outlet for all of that yucky UST~ My bed is always open, bon Arthur~" Francis said, his hands sliding down the front of Arthur's pants.

See? Francis was always commenting on how Arty and I had unresolved sexual tension.

I snorted, rolled my eyes, and closed my text book. "Yo, you two have fun in here. I'm gonna walk around campus, 'kay?" I zipped up my bomber jacket (which I already had on. I rarely went without it, since it helped hide what the corset didn't) and was shocked to find that my cell phone (which I had hidden in my pocket since Arthur always commented on my compulsion to use) was flooded with texts.

Arthur ground his teeth and pried Francis off of him. "One, it's 'going to,' not 'gonna,' two, I'll go with you (anything to get away from this bloody frog), and three, hand me the phone."

I pouted and held it away from him. "Why? I'm only going to read these texts, maybe answer a few—"

He rolled his eyes and snatched it out of my hands. "Fine. Then you wouldn't mind at all me looking through your inbox and reading your messages aloud to you."

Francis snickered while I just glared. "Don't you dare—"

" 'From: Gilbert Beilschmidt. How about this Friday we drink some real beer and see who survives afterwards'" he snorted and deleted that message, completely ignoring my whimper of protest. " 'From: Tori Jones. Darling, why are you so dead set on me not visiting? Is it because it's time of month again haha-' Oh, bloody hell, your mother can be cruel, Alfred," Arthur deduced, handing me back the phone after emptying my inbox.

I glared at him and put the phone back in my pocket, adding "contact phone service to print off all texts sent from midnight last night to now" to my to-do list, and silently thanking God for Arthur being so dense when it came to things that usually pointed his mind in the direction of me being female.

I, however, did not miss the look Francis gave me as all of us stood outside the door, waiting for Arthur to lock up.

I grinned at him. "My mom thinks she's so cool, acting like I'm a girl, y'know?" I said to him.

His eyes only narrowed more, but whatever he thought, he shrugged it off and pulled out his own cell phone.

I pouted as I saw Arthur only glance at his, not at all making any attempt to confiscate it. "So, did you have any idea where to go, Al?"

I shook my head. "I was just gonna walk around…"

He shrugged. "Fine by me. As long as we don't see any drunken teachers like last time…" he mused, the image of Ms. Héderváry materializing in all of our heads.

We all simultaneously shuddered.

Francis began texting God-knows-who, all the while talking aloud. "Al, I suggest you take Gilbert up on that offer. It'd be fun to see that petit battle of ego, non? Oh, Arthur, I was meaning to ask you why you insist on wearing skinny jeans if you don't want me to spread my l'amour to you. It's non fun. Oh, hey, mon Mathieu is going to be joining us, you're okay with that, oui? Oh, the sky is so magnefique tonight, don't you—"

Arthur glared at Francis. "Why did you invite him without asking us?"

Francis pouted. "Because you both would've said no."

I rolled my eyes. "I have no idea who that is, so why would I care?"

"You gits! Francis, you seem to forget that moments like these are bloody valuable to some people!"

Francis snickered. "You want it to be just us because you know mon Alfred and I will talk while you have your fantasies about Alfred, and-"

Francis wailed as a well-thrown punch nailed him in the nose.

Arthur rubbed his knuckles all the while glaring at Francis. I sniggered into my hand, but stopped when I heard a quiet voice ask, "What happened, Francis?"

Francis sniffled and threw his arms around the semi-familiar blonde boy. "Oh, Mathieu, mon Arthur just punched me for stating the obvious! So rude, non?"

The boy rolled his blue eyes, but patted Francis' back. "Oui, oui, tres rude. No need to throw a temper tantrum, though."

I blinked. Something was so weird, looking at this boy—

Oh shit. It was like looking in a mirror, actually.

He had the same wheat gold hair as me, only his was slightly longer and wavier. And he had a curl rather than a cowlick.

His eyes were the same shade of blue as mine, except his seemed to be a bit closer to purple than to sky-blue. We even had similar glasses.

The only ways I knew he wasn't my reflection was because (1) he wore a red hoodie and blue jeans, (B) he was spouting French, and fourth looked…more girly, despite how much of a paradox that would be. He was a boy, after all, while I was the girl.

He was staring at me, blinking a few times in shock.

Francis looked between us, and finally spoke up. "Oh, I suppose my theory that you two were more similar in appearance was correct."

Arthur grit his teeth. "You wanker, why the bloody fuck did you keep that little theory to yourself, you frog!"

Francis shrugged.

"Woooooahhhhh, we're like, twins! Are you my long-lost twin brother, or are you an alien secretly disguised as me for scientific studies?" I asked excitedly. I hadn't ever met an alien before…

He blinked. "Um, I'm pretty sure I'm human, eh."

"Tch. Are you Canadian?"

"…Oui…" he looked at Francis for help.

"Mon Alfred, I would like you to meet Matthew Clarity Williams. That twin theory makes sense, oui, because Mattie's parents divorced when he was just la petit infant, and he lived with his father, who moved to Canada." He slung his arm around Matthew, and both Arthur and I were shocked to see that he didn't try to cop a feel from the poor boy.

Matthew paused, before opening his mouth. "I was always told that I have an older sister." He saw the look pass over my face, and he knew he was correct. "Of course, you're obviously not a woman. Maybe my mom had a kid after Dad and I left." He shrugged it off.

Oh, I'd have to remember to thank the kid for not blowing my cover.

Francis smiled sweetly at Arthur. "Oh, it's only a Thursday night, mon amis. How about you get us some beer, mon Arthur?"

As if to get Arthur to comply, Francis slid his hands up Arthur's hips.

Arty ground his teeth and hissed, "Anything to get away from you." He quickly fled, looking for the school bar.

I grinned at Francis. "Now the party-kill-joy is officially gone!" I pumped my fist, then noticed the look that Francis and Matthew shared. "Haha, guys, you're supposed to be celebrating—"

Francis pursed his lips. "So, how does it feel to know that votre sister is mon roommate, Mathieu?"

Matthew shrugged. "Don't mentally traumatize her, eh."

I forced myself to chuckle, "Haha what do you guys mean? I'm obviously a—"

Francis rolled his eyes. "Do you really expect the master of l'amour to not see when a person is female or male, Alfred?"

Matthew smiled timidly at me. "Francis had already told me he suspected you were a girl, and he also told me you looked like me." The Matthew paused. "Did Victorious—" I gaped as he said my mother's real name, "—ever tell you about me?"

I hesitantly shook my head. He chuckled. "Leave it to Dad to spoil it."

Francis frowned. "Now, now, your father is tres bien! Don't talk so harshly of him!"

Matthew rolled his eyes but held his hand out to me. "Hello, my name is Matthew Clarity Williams. You must be Avery Freedom Jones."

I grinned at him and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you, bro!"

Francis smirked at me, hands snaking to my hips. "Hm, knowing your real name makes sharing the l'amour so much sweeter—"

I elbowed him in the stomach and he doubled over. "Okay, okay," he wheezed, holding ah and of surrender up. I rolled my eyes.

"Hands off, Francis. Now, how'd you figure it out?"

He sniggered. "I would advise against wearing white shirts but red bras, even if you have your tres hideous jacket on over it."

I simultaneously blushed and glared at him. "My jacket isn't whatever-hideous! It was Mattie's dad's, and he left it for me!"

Mattie widened his eyes. "So that's Dad's bomber jacket."

I nodded proudly. "It's what made me want to be a fighter pilot—"

Both Matthew and Francis looked at me with scorn.

I pouted. "See? This is why I pretend to be a guy! Because nobody thinks a girl can be a fighter pilot!"

Francis shook his head. "No," Matthew said, "we don't approve of a certain girl joining the Air Force."

My pout worsened. "Well, I'm my own person, so I will make that decision. That, and the people at the flight school and the Air Force base."

Suddenly, "O Canada" played out of nowhere. Matthew blushed but dug in his jacket pocket, pulling out an Apple iTouch, in all its glory. I scowled in jealousy.

He answered the phone. "Hello?" His eyes lit up. "Hey, papa."

He then glanced at me. "Anything interesting? Ah, well, the past hour has been very intriguing…"

I confidenlty held my hand out for the phone. Matthew hesitantly handed it to me.

"Helloooooooo! This is Avery Freedom Jones speaking!"

There was silence on the other side. "What?"

I grinned. "Yeah! Your long lost daughter!"

He laughed. "Ah, you have to be my daughter if you have that much energy."

"Aw, thank you!"

"And may I ask what the hell my daughter is doing at an all-boys college?" he asked, confusion easily leaking into his voice.

"Well, your daughter wants to be a fighter pilot and is willing to pretend to be a guy for the cause!"

He paused, then I could hear the smile in his voice. "That's my girl."

"Mattie's death glaring me. I'll have to call you later."

"Oh? Tell me your phone number and I'll call you when I can." I eagerly listed the digits, then, after a quick goodbye, I handed it back to Matthew.

"Haha he says I'm just like him!" I boasted to Mattie when he hung up.

Matthew rolled his eyes. "Then I can only assume I'm like Victorious."

Who at that moment was texting me.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and glared at it. "She just now asked me if I want her to send me cookies."

Francis raised an eyebrow. "And, considering you, that's a bad thing?"

I nodded. "Yeah, she should know she doesn't have to ask!"

Francis and Matthew facepalmed.

Right then, Arthur decided to make an appearance. He slid four bottles of scotch out of his pocket, handing one to me, one to Francis, and keeping two for himself. "Took some bribing, but I convinced that one bartender—"

"The hot blonde Polish girl?" I asked, faking lust.

Francis snickered at my façade. If it meant pretending to hit on girls to look more like a guy, then fine by me.

Arthur glared at me, although I couldn't see any reason why. "Yes, Felixia. I now have to write a paper for her." He rolled his eyes. "Better be worth it."

I rolled my eyes and opened the bottle up, taking a swig. "Aw, you guys should've sent me. You know she's got a thing for me."

Matthew's eyes widened and Francis chuckled. "Yes indeed. She's always giggling when you talk. She asked you out a few times, oui?"

I nodded and took another drink. "Yeah. I like her an' all, but this physics course is leaving me without any time for girls." Plus, the fact I'm a girl makes it impossible to accept dates.

Arthur looked ready to punch me, but I didn't make anything of it. I turned to Mattie. "You don't drink?"

Matthew shook his head. "Not leisurely, non."

I raised an eyebrow. "When do you drink, then?" That left, like, no time at all.

He shrugged. "At parties, mostly."

I turned back to a more-calm Iggy. "Why do you get two bottles, Iggy?"

He rolled his eyes. "Because I did the work, git."

I pouted, but said no more.

[-]

Oh wow. I was writer-s blocking this since November. *snickers* Annnnyway, this story will not have slow updates. Trust me.

BTW, Felixia? That's Feliks (Poland)! XD Since Toris is a guy in this story, I had to make Feliks the girl. (Even though the other way around is funnier.)

Well, I'm off to write chapter two, since I already have a good idea for it. Btw, if you guys are wondering about what her class schedule is, it's explained tomorrow. (Although I've never been to college, my mum and a friend of mine have, so I'm going off the little tidbits I hear from them.)

Hope y'all enjoyed! Review! ^^