It's the first time he's seen her since she kicked him out of her apartment. Since he said she was nothing more than a good fuck. Since he broke her heart. She's at the same restaurant at him and Alexis and she's sitting alone. He debates going to say hi, to try and talk to her but decides against it when he catches sight of the man that joins her at the table with a kiss to her cheek. He can feel Alexis watching him so he turns away, tries to keep his blood from boiling any farther. He keeps his eyes trained on Alexis or his phone throughout the whole dinner, even though to both Alexis and Castle, it's painfully obvious that neither of them are leaving without talking to her. Alexis can see the confrontation before it even happens, can hear Kate yelling before Castle even stands to follow her to the bathroom. Alexis glances up at him and watches him for a few seconds. She knows the story, knows her dad was the one to mess up and yet she knows if he is going to follow Beckett, that he's going to be the one walking out of here with a broken heart.
She's about to walk into the bathroom when she senses his presence. She turns around and finds him standing right behind her. She swallows back the surge of emotions that rise by the sight of him. Castle? She asks softly and it breaks his heart all over again. She's looking at him like he's going to break her heart all over again. Hey-I… I know… he stammers but she cuts him off before he can get any farther, a fire building in her eyes. Don't worry about it Castle. You made your feeling painfully clear, she murmurs and then steps into the one-roomed bathroom. He hesitates and then rips open the door and follows her in.
What the hell? She asks, spinning around to face him. His heart breaks all over again at the sight of the tears streaming down her cheeks. Kate, I know I messed up. I know I hurt you and I need to apologize," he murmurs, his eyes desperate. She watches him and then lets out an emotionless laugh. You're seriously going to stand there and ask for my forgiveness? She accuses. No, I know I don't deserve your forgiveness. I just need you to know that I didn't mean what I said, he murmurs. She rolls her eyes and attempts to bypass him to get to the door but he stops her with a hand on her hip. Kate, i'm sorry, he repeats. His hand is burning her and she hates him. I hate you, she admits, tears blurring her vision. The words hit him hard, leave him gasping for breath. I hate you, she repeats, slamming a fist into his chest. He pulls her into his chest, letting her sobs break his heart all over again.
She pulls away a few minutes later, a bit more collected. I don't know what you want me to say, she admits, looking away. He nods, takes a step away from her. I just-I needed you to know I didn't mean what I said and that i'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, he murmurs softly. Then why'd you say it? She accuses and he can see the tears already starting to blur her vision again. He shrugs. I… we were fighting, he starts but she interrupts him. Castle-I didn't… I didn't call you just a good fuck, she accuses and her accusations sting but he knows he deserves them. He nods and pulls away, looks anywhere but at her. Is that your boyfriend? He asks, and even he's in a state of disbelief that he actually asked that question. He sets his jaw and meets her gaze, finds her already watching him with a fire in her eyes that he hadn't seen since the night she kicked him out. You've got to be kidding me, she huffs, attempting to bypass him for the door again.
Is he? Castle asks, his eyes the same way that used to drive her crazy. She lets out another huffs but relents and part of him hates himself for being this to Beckett, being someone she can never say no to, no matter how much pain he inflicted upon her. I got an offer, she admits, glancing up at him and then away. An offer? Castle questions, crossing his arms over his chest. Yeah, she murmurs, avoiding his gaze. What kind of offer? Castle continues, panic creeping up his spine. FBI, Beckett admits softly, as if her words are going to break him. Her words hit him hard, leaves him winded. FBI? He repeats and she sees the heartbreak in his eyes and reaches for him and then pulls back, uncertain.
I...doesn't it haunt you? She asks and by now she knows the agent, Agent Collins who had met with her to offer her a job, is probably long gone,, probably thinks she ditched him. What? Castle asks, his thoughts jumbled. He never thought about Kate leaving New York, or her being anything other than a detective. Me? Us? What we could've been? She asks and he's surprised at the honesty shining back at him. He shrugs and then nods. You've always haunted me Kate, he admits with a small smile. She nods and then looks away. Every time-every time I walk into the damn precinct, it hits me. Every single day, she admits and he doesn't comment on the shaking of her hands. He nods, familiar with that feeling. Every morning I wake up, I expect you next to me, he admits, running a hand across his face, letting his emotions play across his face. She watches him for a few seconds and then nods. I should-I should go, she murmurs and when she steps to bypass him, he lets her with some regret. As soon as she steps out of the bathroom, she turns to him. Just-be safe, okay? She murmurs and before he can even answer, she scurries away.
She stops and murmurs a hello to Alexis who opens her mouth to apologize for her dad but when she catches the look on Beckett's face, she only nods. Let's Beckett go. Beckett nods in appreciation and goes back to her table, finds that Agent Collins paid for their short dinner and also left his card. She grabs the card and her purse and then turn back to look at the Castle's. She finds Castle watching her and she wishes nothing more than to run to him and never let him go but she knows they're long past that. She offers him a single nod and then she's gone, breaking his heart this time.