June 7th 2009
I can't believe I haven't written in this thing in almost two years. The last entry is September of 2007. I was apparently an idiot back then because I'm droning on and on about how much I miss Kurt and how I wish he'd apologize so that I could take him back. As if.
It's funny what two years of growing up will do to you. I thought I was pretty clever when I moved out here from Nebraska. I was going to get a part in a movie, be super famous and then rub it in the nose of that bitch Julie Cassidy. Now I don't know if I even care anymore. I mean, I still want to be famous, but it's so hard to keep going to auditions after four years and getting no serious parts. My acting coach says you have to be plucky and persistent, but four years? I have an audition next week and I hope I get it because I can't haul much more cheesecake.
So looking back and reading this, I'll probably be wondering why I picked up my diary again after two years. Boredom. Yep, that's it, I'm bored, sad and honestly? I'm a kinda lonely. I mean, I knew the guys had become a pretty big part of my life, but I it's not like I hang out with them that much. It's just that we always have dinner on Sunday nights. At least on the Sundays I'm not working. But I have the night off and there's nothing to do around here. Lindsey invited me out, but I spent three hundred dollars on a new Parka and snow boots Wednesday when I was watching the home shopping network. I don't know what I was thinking. Snow gear? I mean I live in L.A. and its June. It was ninety-four yesterday. What the hell do I need with a parka?
So now I'm going to struggle to make rent, because for some reason ever since stupid Leonard told me he was going to the North Pole I can't stop buying cold weather gear! I can't believe the way he sprung this on me. Who does that? Who just up and leaves for the North Pole without giving their friends time to adjust to the fact that they have to spend their whole summer alone? I mean it's the best part of the year and now what? I'd go buy a new bikini and go spend some quality time at the beach…except I spent all my money on a new parka!
I hate that I miss him so much. I hope he's freezing up there. That would totally serve him right. Honestly, I just hope they're all okay. I don't like thinking about them all out there in the world on their own. They are all brains and no sense that bunch. I love them all to death, but I wish they had more sense about the way the world really works rather than trying to learn life lessons from physics text books. Then again if I studied my books a little harder, I probably wouldn't be so intimidated by Leonard's massive brain and maybe we could have had a second date.
It's so pointless to even think about. If Leonard really liked me he wouldn't have left me here to spend the summer alone. I hate being alone.
Lonely Penny