Quick author's note', when i watched Veronica Mars as a teenager i always thought 'at least she tried to go to the cops about the rape'. But watching it again, as an adult, i realize there was really so much more to it than that. She most likely was not on birth control considering she was a virgin with no plans to change that any time soon. Obviously there was a lack of other protection, condoms. Even with being in a daze from the GHB and not yet being the bad ass we all know she becomes, i still can't accept that she didn't do anything else to protect herself. She would/should have gone to the hospital and gotten the morning after pill, i don't think it was available without a prescription, back in 2003, yet. This is that story, touching a little on how she becomes the awesome, infamous Veronica Mars we all know and love.
It was two miles from the sheriff's department to the nearest emergency room. That's not the most pleasant, trek on a normal day, but this day it was even worse. Walking two miles, with bare feet, in a daze of sadness, confusion, and anger, is not the Sunday stroll that people talk about.
Veronica looked up at the imposing building. She just faced the newly appointed Sheriff Lamb, she could do this. At least she knew the doctors in this building didn't hate her or her father, at least they didn't have the same hatred for them as Lamb did. Not to mention doctors had that Hippocratic Oath to worry about, so they had to help her even if they hated her too. After giving herself enough of a pep talk to settle her nerves, she walked through the automatic doors into the front waiting area.
She stepped up to the reception desk and was at a loss for words, momentarily, when the nurse there looked at her. After a brief stare off she finally decided to go with the obvious. After what happened with Lamb, the less information she had to give out the better. After a deep breath, she broke her eye contact. "I need to see a doctor."
The nurse knew the look the moment the young girl entered the doors. It wasn't hard to spot. She had seen the look before, more times than she wanted to think about. She had been a nurse for over twenty years, it was just something you learned to recognize. She knew it was breaking the hospital's regular emergency policy to bypass the triage nurse, but after a quick glance around the waiting room she knew it was for the best. Quickly walking around the desk she guided the girl through a heavy metal door. After settling the girl into a quiet room, giving her a blanket to warm herself with in the cold hospital, she left for a few minutes.
Veronica took the time alone to fill out the registration and insurance paperwork that the nurse left on the bed, and shed a few more tears. She quickly wrapped herself in the blanket the nurse had given her, then sat on the gurney that served as an examination table. As she waited there for the nurse to come back she tried to decide what she was going to say when she had to explain why she was there. After the reaction she got from Lamb, she knew telling the whole truth was out. She wasn't going to have someone laugh at her, or think she was lying, again. However, she knew lying to doctors was a bad idea. It could end in the wrong treatment, or worse, no treatment at all. Just before the door was opened again she had decided on her course of action. She would tell the truth, she would just leave out the details. No one needed to know the details anyway.
"Hi, I'm Sarah. I'm a doctor, and I'm going to take care of you today, ok?" A woman said as she walked into the room with the nurse. She was pretty, young for a doctor, but not too young. There was a soft smile on her face that usually helped to put her patients at ease. She saw exactly what the nurse had seen the moment she opened the door and saw the young girl sitting on the bed. The fear and confusion obvious, coupled with the disheveled appearance and the general 'after party' look, she knew exactly what this patient needed before the girl even spoke a word.
Veronica just nodded at the doctor, she didn't really know what to do or say at this point. The doctor must have realized she was at a loss for words because she broke the silence once again. "Could you tell me your name?" She asked.
After a moment, Veronica decided that with just her first name there wasn't much that could be done. There was more than one Veronica in the world. "Veronica, my name's Veronica."
"Good. Veronica, how can I help you today?"
"This is confidential right? Doctor patient confidentiality and all that?" Veronica blurted out. Before she went any further she had to be sure that her dad wouldn't find out. He couldn't find out. After everything, knowing what happened would kill him. She couldn't do that, especially not now that he was all she had left.
"Unless you tell me that you are planning to hurt yourself, someone else, or you are being abused then yes everything remains confidential."
"So my dad doesn't have to know I was here, or why?"
"Your insurance will probably send a bill, unless you're planning on paying in cash. That might tell him that you were here, but we can't tell him anything unless you tell us to."
Veronica thought it over for a moment. She could probably intercept whatever bill they got. How she was going to explain why they had to pay for a visit to the emergency room though, she wasn't so sure about. She quickly decided that the less time she spent there and the less they did the better. It would be a lot easier to explain a quick visit without any tests or anything than a few hours stay with lab tests, x-rays, or anything else.
"I need a prescription." Veronica said, finally.
"Well, we can't just hand out random prescriptions." The doctor said trying to lighten the mood. "I'm going to need to know what kind of prescription you think you need, and then I'm going to have to at least do a quick exam so I know you are alright."
"Ok." Veronica said uncomfortably. "I need emergency contraception. I had sex, and now" She trailed off, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall when she admitted aloud that she had had sex.
Sarah saw the pained look on her patients face at the statement. She knew there was more to the story. She was rather certain she knew exactly what happened. Now she just had to try to get this kid to admit the truth, to tell her so she could help. "You had sex? Was it your first time?" She asked trying to start with an easier question. She knew they would only get more difficult as they continued talking.
"Does that matter?" Veronica asked. After a moment she gave an almost inaudible "Yes" then turned her head away, once again fighting the tears.
It was like a punch to the gut. Being raped was horrible enough for anyone, but having that be your first time. Losing your virginity in such a terrible way. Having that choice, that one singular choice that takes the childhood and innocence away from someone once and for all, having that taken away from you by force. It's beyond criminal. Sarah moved closer and lowered her voice trying to sooth the problems that she knew her next question would likely cause. "Was it consensual?" She watched as the three words registered on the girl's face. Her face fell and her she looked physically hurt by the question for a brief moment. Then her posture stiffened, her face became a blank slate, and the tears that had been threatening to spill over since she got there dried up.
"That doesn't matter, and I'm not going to tell you." Veronica said evenly. She felt as if something had snapped inside her. She knew this doctor, this woman, was just trying to help her. She also knew that she couldn't be a victim anymore. Something changed in her in that moment. She wouldn't cry again, she couldn't let herself be hurt again. She had to get tough. She had to get mean. She had to get even. Everything that had happened to her since the brutal murder of her best friend, she had let happen because she was weak. She couldn't be weak anymore. With her new resolve, she somehow knew exactly what to say. "You want me to tell you that I was raped? I won't. I don't have to. I had sex. I don't want to get pregnant. I want emergency contraception. I don't want any tests or exams, I just need the prescription. That's it."
"Ok." The doctor finally said in defeat. "I get it. I still have to do a basic exam though. Blood pressure, heart rate, that sort of thing. Nurse Amy didn't send you through triage first, so we don't have any of that."
Veronica relented, knowing this basic stuff was protocol, even at her regular doctor's office. The doctor did as she said. She took down Veronica's blood pressure, heart rate, respiratory rate, temperature, height, weight, and blood oxygenation. The doctor looked in her eyes, ears, nose, and mouth with the otoscope. She did a quick neurological exam to make sure whatever had happened hadn't physically harmed her patient's brain. Once she was sure that Veronica was generally healthy and physically unharmed she pulled out her prescription pad.
"I don't know exactly what happened, and you're right, I can't make you tell me. But I can figure out enough of it on my own to know that you aren't telling me everything. You're not even telling me half of what really happened." Sarah said looking at Veronica, almost pleading with her to let it out. "I don't know why you don't want to tell me, but whatever happened, just know it wasn't your fault. Whoever did this to you did something wrong and terrible. This is a crime, and they should be punished for it. You are the victim here."
Veronica stood up as the doctor tore the paper off the pad. She grabbed it from the extended hand and returned the doctor's gentle expression with her own sharp glare. "I'm not a victim, and I never will be again." She turned and walked quickly out of the room and the hospital, leaving the paperwork she had filled out earlier for the doctor or nurse to find later.
She stopped off at the pharmacy on her way home to fill her prescription. Suddenly the walk wasn't so bad anymore. She barely even noticed the sidewalk under her bare feet, or the tiredness of her legs. She had a new determination. After she got home with her medication, she read the instructions, and did as they said. Over the next few days she felt terrible. She knew the medication could make her sick, so she sucked it up and dealt with it. She cut her hair short after she threw up in it one afternoon. She didn't even try washing it out first, she didn't mind, she wasn't that girl anymore and she never wanted to be again. She went to the store after. She bought herself new clothes when she realized that everything she had either made her think of everything that had gone wrong or made her remember that she was ever helpless enough to be a victim. When she finally got her period a little over two weeks later, she knew it was worth it. She was ok, she was tough, and she would never be a victim again.
After Veronica left the hospital Sarah stood in the room for a minute staring at the place the young girl had been sitting. She was stunned at the words and the coldness behind them. 'I'm not a victim, and I never will be again.' She wasn't sure if she was more worried for the girl who she had just watched grow up, and grow angry and cynical before her eyes, the person who hurt her, or everyone else who crossed that girls path from here on out. She knew what that kind of rage and anger could do. As she looked around the room, slightly dumbfounded, she noticed the clipboard with the registration papers were attached and filled out. She gently picked them up, as if they might disappear or turn to dust if she moved to quickly. She read the top line, the one for the patient's name, and her jaw dropped open. Things became clearer in an instant. The name told her everything she needed to know. She had seen the news, she knew what was going on in the town. She knew about the murder of Lilly Kane. She knew about the old sheriff's accusations against Jake Kane. She knew about him losing his job over the case. What she didn't know, was that the girl she had just seen was his daughter. She hadn't known that the girl who she had just spent the last fifteen minutes with had been through hell. It all made so much more sense. The girl not wanting to tell her what happened, not being willing to admit that she was raped, even the sudden change from fear to rage. It all made sense in that one line. Patient's Name: Veronica Mars.
Another quick 'author's note', I wrote this in the span of about two hours this morning while getting my daughter ready for school. I reread, edited, and proofread this about a half dozen times at least. I think it's ok, and i think it tells what's in my head decently, but if it sucks please let me know. I'm not really the kind of person who likes their own writing, so i really don't know if it's any good. I'm also wary about writing anything for Veronica Mars, always have been, it's such an amazing show that i would hate to screw it up when writing it. Let me know what you think, if you are so inclined.