Author's note : Crackfic based on Sally's comment about this article on Autostraddle : 100-storylines-we-brainstormed-in-5-minutes-that-dont-involve-dead-lesbians-330245/ She wrote : "Currently trying to process by making up a story where all the dead TV lesbians sit around at a Dead Lesbians Anonymous support group, trying to process what the fuck is going on with this world".

Sally, whoever you are, wherever you are, thank you and I love you. This is the best idea ever ;) ! Multi-fandom fic. SPOILER ALERT if you're not up to date in the following TV shows : Xena warrior princess, Orphan Black, The 100, Defiance, True Blood, Pretty Little Liars, The L Word, Skins, Buffy the vampire slayer, Chicago fire, Lip Service, Marvel's Agent of Shield, Spartacus : Gods of the Arena, Los Hombres de Paco and Lost Girl.

Chapter 1 : "The Newbie"

In an abandoned studio, located somewhere in the darkest corner of Vancouver, Canada.

-"Ladies, please, take your sits quickly. We have a new member today who I'm sure, is dying to meet us. Pun not intended".

-"Not intended ? Please, Xena, you make this one every time we welcome a new member".

-" Maya ? Don't start".

-"I hope she's cute"

-"Seriously, Sophie Anne ?"

-"What ?"

Queen Sophie Anne didn't have the time to respond when a light knock echoed in the room.

-"Shhhs ! She's here !" Dana Fairbanks whispered loudly.

-"Come in !" Xena said while motioning frantically to the other women to sit.

-"Hi. My name is Lexa. When I died on my TV show last week, they told me to make a stop here but I admit that I don't really know where I am".

"Welcome Lexa," Xena spoke calmly. "Please, take a sit, I'll explain everything."

Lexa hesitated. There were two chairs available in the circle. The first one was just two sits from her right but the blonde woman that would be sitting on her left was looking at her with predatory eyes and a devil smirk. Oh my God, are those fangs ? she thought fast and took the second chair in the opposite direction.

-"Lexa, let me introduce you to the Dead TV Lesbian Characters support group. Here, we meet every Wednesday afternoon to help each other process our death in the TV show we were starring".

-"I still think we should rename the group Dead TV Queer Characters. Not everyone here is a lesbian" Jenny Schecter interrupted angrily.

-"Kenya, we talked about this numerous times. We can't replace "lesbian" with "queer" because then men will be part of the group too and we already have barely enough room as it is !" Xena answered exasperated. "We welcome all sexual identities whereas you wouldn't be there and Cece neither.

-"It's Jenny !"

"Stop yelling" said Sophie Anne smoothly. "You're going to frighten our cute little newbie here," she added with a devious smirk and a wink in Lexa's direction.

-"Yeah, not our fault that your actress enjoy to be killed on a regular basis..."

-"Maya ! What did I said earlier ?" Xena said in a firm tone.

-"Yeah, don't start, sorry," Maya St Germain mumbled.

-"So, if we all have been killed in our respective TV shows, why are we still alive ?" Lexa suddenly spoke, making all the group look at her again.

"That's because once you're created, you enter what is called the collective imagination." Xena answered. "No matter what happens to you, you still live in all the humans mind. In their memories. They still can remember you, talk about you. They can even reborn you by writing you a prequel of your adventures before your death or fanfictions that ignore your canon death.

At that, Victoria Hand stood up abruptly.

-"No, no, no, no. Enough with the fanfictions ! If I see another high school alternative universe I swear I'm going to kill the author myself !" she all but shouted in the stunned room. "I know that I age well, thank you very much, but I don't need to be reminded of the worst period of my life every damn sentence !"

-"Victoria," Xena went on, unfazed. "You will have plenty of time to share your struggles with the group later. Now, it's all about welcoming our new member appropriately. So, Lexa. What can you tell us about yourself ?"

-"I'm from the TV show The 100 which tells the story of a post-apocalyptic world" Lexa begun. "The survivors fled from the catastrophe and lived in space for almost hundred years. But then, the spaceship starts to running out of oxygen so they send a group of young delinquents to test if Earth is habitable again. When the group of teenagers land on Earth, they learn the hard way that they're not alone".

-"Great, another sci-fi TV show which, instead of detach itself from reality by creating brand new worlds just perpetuate the worst clichés and failures of our own" a very annoyed Naomi Campbell intervened. "Seriously, can't they do parallel worlds where the slaves are white or the lesbian make it through the third season ?"

-"Let's talk about something less depressing" Dana Fairbanks said suddenly. "Did you have a pretty girlfriend on your show ?"

-"Yes. Her name is Clarke" Lexa answered, a ghost of a smile at the corner of her lips.

-"What she looks like ?" Dana asked with fascinated eyes and a broad smile.

-"She's blonde. Has beautiful blue eyes..." Lexa stopped talking, lost in her thoughts of Clarke.

-"Aww, don't worry kitten" said Sophie Anne looking at Lexa with her head tilted to the side. "She will join you sooner than later," she went on, taking a sip of her blood colored cocktail.

-"Sophie Anne ! That's totally insensitive to say !" Dana shouted. "Even for you," she then mumbled with a disapproving glare to the Queen.

-"So ?" the vampire replied nonchalantly. "It's the truth. We will all end up here. It's just a matter of time, c'est la vie".

-"I admit it wouldn't be so bad to have a girlfriend here," Kenya said, smirking at Gaia who reminded Kenya pleasantly of her ex lover, Stahma Tarr.

-"And with the way some show runners treat us, it sometimes better to be dead," her twin sister Jenny, added, sighting.

-"Amen" Shana agreed solemnly.

The dead silence that followed Jenny's statement was brutally interrupted when the door busted open in a loud bang.

-"Okay guys, you really have to take me in. I just can't stand it anymore !" a very desperate Emma Swan said loudly before letting herself drop on the first chair available.

-"Emma, we discussed this numerous times already" Xena said wearily. "A character assassination doesn't count as a real death." She straightened herself on her chair and added more firmly, looking directly at Emma : "You should return to your group now."

-"No please !" Emma shouted at the verge of crying. I don't belong there. Everybody keeps complaining, wondering who they are, what are they making those horrible choices..." she explained exasperated. "I know who I am ! I'm bisexual and in love with Regina Mills !" She said more confidently this time. "Why the writers of my show can't see that ?" she then whined.

-"Your show got renewed for another season, right ?" Xena asked Emma who nodded yes. "So give them time, they will see it soon" Xena finished, sighting.

-"But meanwhile I'm bored to death in my group !" Emma whined again. "Hey, does that count as a fictional death ?" She then added smiling broadly, proud of her pun.

-"Emma, get out !" Xena shouted exasperated this time.

-"Okay, okay, I'm on my way" Emma said, finally giving up.

After Emma Swan exited the room, Xena looked at the clock and stood up abruptly.

-"Girls" she said, "we have to clean the room for the queerbaiting group and we're running late". Everyone started gathering their stuff and cleaning the two tables at the back of the room where the members lay some food and drinks. Xena then walked toward Lexa.

-"Our next session will be next Wednesday at 15pm" Xena said to Lexa. "If you come, we will start with your story, okay ?" At Lexa's furrowed brow, Xena specified : "I mean that you could tell the group how you died on your TV show, what got you happy or upset about it... You can write everything on a paper if it helps you".

-"Oh, no problem. I'll be there" Lexa answered.