WORLD TEACHER AWARD

PART 1

It was a normal day either in early autumn or late spring. Professor McGonagall had brought a whole bunch of sticks to class.

"Today we're turning sticks into snakes, ok? Now watch."

And she explained in moderate detail what she was doing as she did it.

Sirius wasn't really paying attention. He was doodling in his textbook and sighing.

"What's the matter?" James asked. "You haven't drunk anything that smelled of several different things at once, have you?"

"Curse be upon the rule that forbid teachers and students to be together!"

"How can you fancy McGonagall? She's older than your mum! And your mum is ancient!"

"That's true. I mean, what sort of dark magic has allowed her to live to be 34 I sometimes wonder. But that's beside the point. But I suspect it's in the stuff she takes before bed."

"Oh, the chartreuse?"

"How did you know that?"

"Because you hate your mum as much as Oedipus hated his!"
"Ooooh! How intellectual! It just doesn't suit you."

Mac came by, holding a blonde beard.

"Excuse me," she said. "Can I borrow that newspaper? I accidentally turned Cas into a beard."

James let her have the sports supplement.

"No Mac!" the beard cried. "You mustn't let anybody see me like this! Who could ever love a beard?"

"You won't be a beard for long. Thanks a lot."

Mac ripped out a page and folded it to a bag. Then she stuck the beard inside, closed the opening and shook it a few times. Then she opened the bag again and flipped it upside down. Cas fell out, a little shaken but fine. She tidied up her hair a bit.

"Hey chaps!" she said, although that was mostly directed at Sirius. "What does 'MM' stand for?"

"Many, many things," Sirius replied.

"Aw! You wrote 'Cas' there!"

"Where? Oh. Woopsie." He added a 't' before the 's'. "Fixed."

"'DM'"

"Darling McGonagall."

"'CM'!"

"Cherie Minerva'"

"Why do you lie to me? I'm your girlfriend, I doodle your full initials all the time!"

She summoned her notebook, which did indeed have SOB doodled allover it.

"People keep asking what I'm sad about..."

"That's kind of creepy."

Cas rolled her eyes.

"I can't even tell if you're embarassed or confused. Don't tell me you fancy Professor McGonagall!"

"Ok."

"She's our teacher!"
"I know. Imagine the controversy. People would look with judgment, just like in some Shakespearean romance." Dreamy sigh.

"You think Shakepeare is a dried up poof!"
"I just know Professor McGonagall would agree."

So Cas turned to James. "What's wrong with him?"

"I think it all stems from his confused feelings for his mum," James replied. "She's never shown any love, and so he's drawn to people who punish him."

"Wow."

"The Hospital Wing has no telly. Things get really boring when one is stuck there for a week after some quidditch injury."

"Well, it may be that what you say makes perfect sense. But crushing on a teacher is still wrong and disgusting!"
"You're crushing on Saddist!" Sirius retorted. "The PE teacher!"

"That's entirely different! Girls mature faster, it's a scientific fact!"

"He's a complete a jerk."

"I know. But the desire to fix a man is just deeply wired in my woman-DNA."

"Why are you even a couple?" James asked.

"Because we can't have who we really want and will just have to settle," Sirius replied. "It's like a Shakespearean tragedy."

"You think we're a tragedy. Thanks," said Cas.

"Professor McGonagall wouldn't overreact. She's too strong and confident."

"Well, since you love her so much, why don't you nominate her for the World Teacher Award?" Cas asked, flicking through the pages of the latest school paper. "Then she'll love you back for sure! Laters."

She left them looking at an add with all the information.