A/N: Thank you so much for choosing to read Live Faster, Love Stronger.
Before you start reading I would like to inform you know that there will be some differences from the book and characters may be a little out of character. I just want to ask you not to be rude or harsh about it. Enjoy the story as it is. It's fan fiction. Also, this story is categorized under angst for a reason. There will be a lot of sad moments, so please don't complain about the story being too depressing. That's kind of the point. Of course it's all right to make a comment about it (I want you to!), but just don't complain. Last thing, this is my first attempt at writing in first person point of view. I know that there will be mistakes and slip-ups in the writing. Again, please don't be rude or harsh. I'll try my best to fix it.
Sorry that ended up being super long and I hope I didn't come off as a complete bitch. I'm just trying to clear some things up so that when you read the story you're not going, "What the hell?"
You know what I mean? Haha
Well enough with the rambling, I hope you like this first chapter and continue to read as I continue add more chapters. Enjoy!
Chapter 1
_____________________________________
"I am restless and I keep trembling.
Everyone watch me as I descend into a feeling that's overwhelming me."
- Run, Don't Walk (Hey Monday)
_____________________________________
---
It's funny how something so life changing can happen so suddenly that you don't even know how to react. Or maybe that's just me. Even now, a week and four days after I found out, I still don't know how to react or what I should do next. I haven't gotten enough courage to tell anyone. Not even Harry and Ron, who have been there for me more than I could ever count.
I don't even know why I'm feeling this scared to tell them. It's not like they would get angry with me. Not even close. Maybe it's the fact that I know they'll treat me differently, somehow changing our friendship. Or maybe it's the fact that I'm too scared to allow myself to accept the truth.
I hear a knock on my door, snapping me out of my daydream. Of only it is so easy to get rid of this feeling building up inside me, as it is to snap out of a though in a daydream. Another knock and I get to open the door. Instantly, right after the first knock, I knew who is at the door.
"Hi Ginny!" I put on my fake smile that I had been practicing since I got the letter about her visit this morning. It surprises me how easy it is to pretend to be happy and normal when all I want to do is cry.
"Hermione!" Ginny practically pounces on me with a hug and I stumble backwards a little. I don't know how so much energy could come from someone so small.
"Ginny, calm down" I say and let a laugh as she let's go of me. She walks into my house as I close the door and follow her to the couch.
"I'm just so happy to see you, Hermione! I feel like we haven't talked in months."
"It's only been two weeks, Gin." I tell her, but she doesn't seem to be paying any attention to me. I watch her look around the room and I see that look in her eyes.
"Did you rearrange your living room?" She asks me. It's a rhetorical question and she knows it because my living room definitely did not look like this the last time she came to visit.
"Just a little bit." At least it isn't a full-blown lie. Then Ginny takes one look at me and I sigh. Oh great, here it comes.
"Hermione, what's wrong? I know you always rearrange your stuff whenever you're upset or angry and don't try to deny it." Ginny says. I roll my eyes. "The last time you completely redecorated the whole place was after Krum broke up with you."
Thanks so much for me reminding me, Ginny.
"I didn't completely redecorate…I just added some new furniture, repainted the walls, threw out some old sheets, a-"
"Oh, right, my mistake. Those are just minor changes." Ginny interrupts, the sarcasm practically drooling out of her mouth.
"Look Ginny, I'm fine. I was just bored and had a lot of time on my hands."
Wow, lying through your teeth was a lot easier than I thought. Ginny was about to say something, but I beat her to it.
"You said in the letter that you had something important to tell me?" That seems to do the trick and she immediately drops that topic, thank Merlin, and goes on a little too quickly for me to understand what she's going on about.
"…And I'm going to be attending Pansy Parkinson's annual end-of-the-summer banquet. Oh you're, coming with me. It's going to be so much fun! I hear she goes all out a-"
Wait a minute. I had tuned her out for the most part, but something caught my attention. Did I hear what I think I just heard?
"Hold on right there, Ginny Weasley. What do you mean I'm going with you?" I ask, hoping that maybe, just maybe, I heard wrong. No such luck.
"Um, surprise?" Ginny gives me a nervous smile, but that does nothing for me.
"Ginny! I do not, and I repeat, do not want to go to that…that…"
"It's called a banquet. You know, where a bunch of people have dinner together. It's a formal thing and ther-"
"Whatever! I don't care what it is. I don't want to go." I cross my arms and look away.
"Why not, Hermione? It's just dinner and maybe some mingling. Stop acting so childish."
"I don't mingle and I'm not acting childish." Even though I know that I am.
"Alright Hermione, you leave me no choice but to beg." Ginny looks at me with pleading eyes. "Please?"
"Ginny, don't even start with me…"
Oh no, I feel my walls that I've built up slowly crumble down. I really hate it when people beg because it kills me inside and I have no choice but to give in. Ginny knows this and that's why she's doing it. That little devil.
"Please, please, please!" By this time she's grabbed on to my arm and is tugging on my coat sleeve.
"Oh, alright! You're lucky I consider you a best friend or I would've kicked you out the moment you said Pansy Parkinson."
"She's not as bad of a person as you think she is." Ginny assures me.
Oh right, I forget that those two became friends over the summer when Pansy got a job as a reporter for the Daily Prophet, where Ginny was already working. Who knew that Pansy could write so well? I hate to admit, but her articles are brilliant and I find myself looking forward to reading them, but I wouldn't tell her that to her face or anything. Ginny and Pansy were assigned to work on a project together and well, I guess they found that they had a lot in common and became best buddies. It's not that I hate the girl, but I don't particularly like her either. Not like she's given me any reason to.
"I'm sure somewhere in there is a kind person, Ginny, but the last time you made me go to lunch with you and her, she gave me the cold shoulder."
"That's because you decided to greet her by saying 'Hey pug-face'"
"I was just trying to be funny. She needs to get a sense of humor." And then I'm reminded that my humor has already started to fade.
"Well, I know that you two could become great friends, if given each other the chance." I snort at her comment. Ginny rolls her eyes at me. "Just be sure you're nice to her when we get there."
"Wait, when is the banquet?" I'm almost too afraid to ask.
"Tonight…"
The same nervous smile returns to Ginny's face and suddenly, I find myself wanting to move this couch that we are currently sitting on out the door and replace it with another.
"Miss Granger, how long have you been feeling ill?"
"Just a few days."
I look up at the healer, Healer Carter, as he examines some parchment in his hands looking as if he was trying to solve the world's hardest divination problem. To be honest, I've actually been feeling like crap for about two weeks, but there's something about telling him the truth that makes me feel as if it'll cause him to say the illness is much worse. I'm hoping it's just a minor cold. But colds don't last for this long. Sometimes, hope let's you down.
"Is there anything wrong?" I ask him when it doesn't seem like he's going to respond.
"It looks as if you have some sort of growth building up near your heart." He finally says…and my heart drops.
"A growth?" I say to no one in particular. "Is…is it deadly?"
"No, not yet at least, but if it gets any bigger, well then we'll have a problem."
I feel my face starting to loose it's color. Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?
"Isn't there any spells or something that can get rid of it?"
"There is, the problem is that it's so close to your heart that I'm afraid if we do use magic to get rid of it, something else might happen to your heart."
"Then what is there left to do?" At this point, I'm about to create a waterfall with the tears welling up in my eyes.
"I'll give you some potions that you must take everyday. There will be four types that are supposed to be taken at specific times. After three weeks I want you to come back and I'll do a check up on you to see if there's been any progress and give you more potions."
"Okay, I can do that." I sigh in relief, knowing that something could be done was enough for me. "What will these potions do?"
"They will stop the growth from getting bigger and hopefully shrink down in size until it disappears completely."
There goes that hope again and somehow I feel as if hope has not been on my side for a while now.
As soon as I step foot into Pansy Parkinson's enormous manor, I regret coming at all. The place was filled with laughter and smiling faces, which are the last two things I feel like doing, but, as Ginny drags me further in, I take a deep breath and put on my fake smile. See, I knew practicing earlier would come in handy. Ginny spots Pansy and starts walking towards her. I have no choice but to follow.
Then, as we approach Pansy, my smile drops. No, I don't dislike Pansy that much. I would've still kept my smile on for Ginny's sake, and my smile didn't drop because I saw her. No, it wasn't Pansy. It was the man standing next to her that caused my sudden change in expression. Before I even get the chance to pull Ginny away Pansy already sees us and is coming towards us this very moment, dragging him along with her.
"Ginny! I'm so glad you could make it!" Pansy exclaims, and I genuinely cannot tell if she's faking it or not. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing either. They exchange hugs as I stand here like an idiot looking anywhere but at the man standing a few feet away from me, who I know is looking at me.
"Of course I made it! And look, I brought Hermione with me, too." Ginny grabs my arm and pulls me so that I'm now standing in front of Pansy.
"Hello Pansy. You're…place looks beautiful." That wasn't a lie and I'm proud of myself for not throwing another 'pug-face' comment at her. It's not that she still looks like a pug-face. No, she's actually grown to be gorgeous (or maybe it's all fake), but I like to just remind her that she did, once. I'll get over it, eventually.
"Thank you, Hermione. And, um, I guess I'm glad you came, too." She gives me a small smile before turning back to Ginny. I take this opportunity to look away…and right into the eyes of the man that I had been trying to avoid.
"Hello, Granger." He greets me with a smirk that I'm oh so familiar with. Even after all these years, I still remember that smirk and how much I've wanted to wipe it off his face. I still do.
"Malfoy." I give him a look before turning away to show that I'm not interested in conversing with him. I guess he didn't get the point because he continues to talk.
"I don't mean to be rude…" He begins and I frown. When has Malfoy ever been anything but rude when he's talking to me? "But, what in Merlin's name are you doing here? You're the last person I'd expect to show up at Pansy's parties."
He does have a point. It's like, if I saw Malfoy showing up at Harry's doorstep with a present for his birthday party. It's just not normal and me being here, surrounded by a bunch of wealthy pure-bloods who most likely hate me, is definitely not a norm.
"Well, as you can see, I was, literally, dragged here by my good friend, Ginny." I say her name with the most cheerful voice I can fake. I pretend to smile brightly at Ginny, when in fact I hate every minute of this and we haven't even been here long, but the girl's not even paying attention to me.
"Why didn't you just say 'no'?" He asks me. I wonder if he even realizes he's talking to me. Hermione Granger, the one with the dirty blood. Most hated of most pure-bloods especially to the Malfoys.
Why do you even care? I wanted to say, but instead I hold back and decide to not be a bitch until he starts first. Throwing me an insult, calling me mudblood, whatever came first and, knowing Malfoy,itwill be coming soon.
"I tried, but Ginny is the type of person who won't back down when she has her mind set on something and she was set on making me come here with her."
"I see. Well, enjoy your time."
With that, he walks away and disappears into the crowd of people. I'm left staring at the spot where he previously stood, waiting for that insult that never came.
The party isn't as bad as I had expected. Everyone is very polite and I even found some to be good company unlike someone who made me come here in the first place and then decide to ditch me. They all seem to be very interested in knowing more about me, which I don't know whether to find that flattering or creepy.
Yes, this party wouldn't be so bad…if I didn't feel like shit. I need to find somewhere to drink my potion, so I excuse myself from the circle that had formed around me and go in search for the nearest bathroom. As I walk upstairs and down the hall, I realize why I would never want to live in a mansion. It's huge! And I would probably get lost in my own house.
I reach a dead end at the end of the hall and turn back around to search the other side. I reach for a door near the right side of the wall when suddenly I feel a sharp pain in my chest. It's so painful that it nearly knocks me over. I stumble to the ground and I feel my breath becoming shorter. If I don't take my potion right now, I'm sure I'm going to die.
I try to sit up as much as I could without causing the pain to increase. Quickly grabbing my bag, I frantically search for the bottle. Another sharp pain hits and my hand jerks, causing everything to fall out of my bag including my potion bottle. It doesn't help that it decides to roll away from me. It isn't even that far away from where I lay, 2 inches at most, but I can't even lift my hand. It feels as if even the smallest movement causes my whole body to hurt.
"Damn it!" I cry and try to use everything in me to move towards it.
"What the…" I hear someone say behind me. "Granger, what happened?"
Why? Out of all the people in this huge manor, why did it have to be him who finds me here like this? A complete stranger would've been better than having him find me. He grabs me and helps me up, but as soon as he lets go I fall right back down, again. Thanks for nothing.
"Gi…give me tha…that bottle…" I managed to say.
I see him look around at the mess I've made and he picks up the tiny glass.
"What is in here?" He shakes it and holds it up to his face to have a closer look.
What is wrong with this guy? Doesn't he see me suffering here? Another sharp pain strikes and I cry out in agony. This seems to do the trick as he snaps back to his senses. I watch him crouch down to my level. At this point the pain is too overwhelming and I'm in a fetal position. I close my eyes tightly and I feel the sweat pouring from my face.
"Open up." I hear him say. How can he be so calm?
I open my mouth as much as I could. Second later, I feel the liquid slide down through my throat and instantly the pain is gone, like a miracle just happened in my body. I begin to breath in a normal pace and open my eyes. I blink a couple of times to clear the blurriness and as I look up I see Malfoy staring at me like he's analyzing me. I sit up slowly and lean against the wall as a sigh of relief escapes through my lips. The pain was so horrible that I can't believe I lived through it. That is something I never ever want to experience ever again. I close my eyes again because I know that if they were open, tears would soon be arriving.
"Granger, what is wrong with you?" Malfoys asks me. Even with my eyes closed I can still tell that he's frowning. But there's no way I'm going to tell him the truth. Out of all the people I know, he'd be the last one I would tell.
So, I do what I've been doing best. I lie.
"Don't worry about it, Malfoy." I say as I open my eyes. "I've been have a very bad fever lately and I forgot to drink my potion. That's all."
He raises his eyes at me like he doesn't believe a word I just said. Well, fine. He doesn't have to believe me. I begin to stand up and it surprises me that he's actually trying to help me up, holding on to my arm as he gets up himself. Does Malfoy have a twin brother I never knew about?
"Thanks, but I'm fine. You don't have to help me up." I tell him as soon as I'm fully standing.
"Too late now." He mumbles. I pretend not to hear it. "I think you should check with a professional because whatever illness you have, I'm pretty sure it's not a fever." He says. What does he know?
"I've already checked and it's a fever." I say to him.
"Well, whoever did a check up for you obviously doesn't know what they're talking about."
"And how would you know, Malfoy? What, are you a Healer or something? I highly doubt it."
I quickly turn to walk away, but at the last moment I swear I just saw a smirk spread across his face. Oh, he thinks this is funny, does he? Whatever, I could care less. I know he's still watching me as I walk down the hallway, but I don't even take a glance back. There's no way I'm going to stay here and listen to Malfoy of all people tell me what he thinks I should do. I don't care what he thinks….except, I hope he's not thinking about telling someone what he just saw.
Is it worth hoping, though?
---
A/N #2: Well, how was the first chapter? Please leave a review and let me know what you think!
:]
