Warmer Weather

A/N: This is based on the song Warmer Weather by The Lost Sea. This song reduced me to tears, and still can. I have the link to their Myspace on my page here, so check them out. I will admit to letting this flow with no idea what it was really about. But once I started writing I realized what it was. This is basically a one-shot about Remus' feelings after Sirius has to go on the run again after they are briefly reunited. Italics is a flashback. That's rather important as it happens a lot.

Disclaimer: The song belongs to The Lost Sea and the characters belong to Jo.

If I could find a way to make believe
That January air became a summer's breeze
And I could feel the warmth of your embrace
Before the cool of autumn takes its place

I hope you'll fly home to warmer weather
You'll fly home to warmer weather
You'll fly home

If I could bear the pain it takes to leave
The northern states would just become
Another couple of palm trees
And maybe you'll have time to find I'm gone
And maybe you'll remember what I've lost

I hope you'll fly home to warmer weather
You'll fly home to warmer weather
You'll fly home

You looked so different from what I remember. No longer were you Sirius Black, jovial and joking, no barking laugh from your mouth as I extended my hand to you. Even the smile you gave me was different and somewhat false. We both knew the circumstances didn't warrant what we wanted, and that a quick embrace was all we could get away with.

Yet, is it wrong to feel that we deserved a few minutes more? What I wouldn't do to have even a second more with you. But I really need to stop thinking about that right now. Other people need me, I need me. I need to stop thinking about you, because you'll be back soon and I'll be with you.

Still, I can't help but think of all the things I wanted to say to you that night but held back because I didn't know if I should say them. You would have spoken up. But I had and still have the feeling that you were waiting for me to say something. After all, you always were. I had to tell you how I felt first. By fifth year, granted, it was a bit obvious, and you knew, but I still had to be the one to tell you.

"Well it's not exactly the simplest thing in the world for me to say." I was so nervous.

"Then you're just going to have to take a chance and say it aren't you?" You weren't nervous at all, just terribly smug.

"Yeah, but it's more of a chance to mess things up." Quietly, even though I wanted you to hear, I was a coward of feelings and God forbid you caught onto any of them.

"Mess what up? You mean mess up…?" You then pointed to me, then to yourself, but I only raised my eyebrows in confusion. "Our friendship. Is that what you mean?"

"Yeah."

"You really don't trust that we're closer than that?"

"No. No, that's not it."

"Then tell me, Moony, because, Merlin, I'm tired of waiting."

"With all due respect, you tend to have a bit of a temper so don't get mad." Your turn to raise your eyebrows at me. I had sighed. "You already know, don't you?" A nod. "But you want me to tell you…right?" Another nod, this one accompanied by a smile. "I like you…like…a lot..." All eloquent words forgotten and simple ones with more meaning replaced them.

That was the thing. That you knew all along. You always knew. Maybe not from the first day we met, but you knew before I did. You knew that I liked you, hell, maybe I even loved you. And you surely knew how you felt about me. But I was stuck in the dark on that one. I guess I missed the class on how to read people, because I never even noticed. The funny part is other people knew without either one of us even having to say a name. Like Lily, Evans then. She brought up the subject without me even noticing.

"So…you and Sirius, huh?" Completely nonchalant, but wonderfully brilliant. I could have been dating Lily if either one of us had an inkling of interest in that respect towards each other.

"Me and Sirius what? We didn't do anything." Feverishly, thinking about the night before when we had slipped that temporary love potion into Slughorn and McGonagall's Pumpkin Juice. Sirius had been so elated by the idea, and I never could say no to him.

"Someone is shy about his relationships. Everyone can tell, Rem, relax." A smile on her voice and her face.

"What in the world are you talking about Lily?" Why was I always on the confused end of these conversations?

"Oh! Oh, never mind…never mind."

People jumped to conclusions too fast. Just because we were close didn't mean we were dating, was what I maintained. That wasn't it, though. Because you and James were closer than you and I were, and I'll admit that. You two were infamous, and I was just your smiling, innocent companion who was dragged along for the ride.

Still, they jumped to conclusions without even thinking. Because we weren't really dating, not formally, until sixth year. You wouldn't let me call it dating until we told other people. That was the hardest part, telling James and Peter and Lily, who should have been the easiest to tell. We didn't care what anyone else said, but we were scared of what our friends would think.

It didn't really go over how we thought it would.

"So me and Sirius…we're dating."

"Oh, lovely!"

"Don't let Lily fool you, she's only acting surprised."

It went much better than we thought.

Not that everyone took it that well. We had our fair share of stares and more jokes about us that year than I could handle. You saved me through all of that. Every time someone ridiculed us you just laughed with them. No matter what someone said you could turn it around so they were laughing with us, or at least you.

Because as much as I'd like to deny it, and as much as I try not to think about it, I always felt a bit of shame every time someone looked at us the wrong way or judged us for things we had no choice in. You were proud and I was pretending that first year. I told you that, because, let's face it, I tell you everything. You told me you knew, but I did valiantly try to cover it up, almost had you fooled.

"Not quite though, Rem, you never could fool me."

By seventh year I didn't feel shame at all. It was natural, how I felt for you and while other people didn't understand that I did and that was all that really mattered. That was all that mattered for the years that followed and the years after that. I realized that no one will accept you until you accept yourself, and I did. It took a long time until I fully accepted it. It was the day before James and Lily's wedding.

"Sirius Black. Best Man. I like the sound of that, don't you?" I had learned you weren't being arrogant; you just did what was natural, praised yourself. Well, maybe you were being a bit conceited, but it suited you so I didn't mind.

"You think the least they could have done was made me Maid of Honor." I said this in good humor. I never expected to be chosen over you for the position. It was rather obvious that you and James were best mates; I had no delusions concerning that.

"You know you're always my best man, right?"

"And you're always mine, love."

We were slow moving and going with our relationship in that respect. By that time we hadn't even said those three words that mean everything to everyone else. I had seen people say it a day into the relationship and have it fall apart a month later and I wasn't about to risk that. But I had never meant for it to take years for us to exchange those words.

At time I feel like I will never hear those words again. I hope that I will see you again and I desperately want to. I understand why you are gone, but not why we have to be apart. I offered to go with you, that we could simply run away together rather than be separated by this ordeal, but you refused. The last time I saw you was only a few weeks ago. Our meeting was for only a few minutes, and it wasn't enough. These weeks have felt longer by far than the years you were in Azkaban.

All I can do is remember that night. Halloween. One of the worst and best days of my entire life. You left me that night and so did Lily and James. To think now that I thought you were the cause. So all that I can do is sit here in your bedroom, photo album in my hands, looking through all the memories I have of us until you return. As for right now, I can only hope that you are heading for somewhere with warmer weather. You deserve it, Sirius, over all people.

"Do you remember how I made you tell me how you felt about me?" Halloween night, the room was all dark except for a few candles, you stood in the doorway, having startled me.

"I don't think I'll ever forget that." I sat on your bed, reading from a book. I slightly jumped when I heard your voice and answered with a smile.

"Right and how I made you tell everyone else about us?" Now you were slightly smirking as if the memory was a fond one.

"Where are you going with this?" I wouldn't say I was annoyed then so much as curious, but it came out in a slightly irritated tone. I can recall the look on your face. Amused.

"I love you, Remus Lupin."

One of the best and worst days of my entire life.

A/N: There you have it. I wrote this while watching the fourth movie. I'm rather cool. Review it even if you hate it.