Yes a dub bashing fic done in style. And yes, it was hard for me to use dub names.
Serena in that annoying high-pitched wannabe Valley girl voice was whining about something again intelligible. Amy could barely make it out.
Serena took a big breath and said, "I think Amara and Michelle are not cousins! I think they are gay!!"
Amy, in her warbly voice asked, "How could that be, Serena?"
"Yesterday, I saw them at the arcade and they were like staring at each other for a long time."
"I saw it too!" Mina volunteered raising her hand.
Raye frowned. "How could they when they know about how people feel about gay marriage be, you know... that."
"Well, ten percent of the human population are gay, so it might be that they are too embarrassed to tell us."
"But it's so wrong," Serena squealed.
Lita stretched back and stared at the ceiling. "I once knew a girl that was, gay."
The girls leaned in towards her. She looked at them, startled. "What?"
"Then you're like an expert or something," Serena said leaning in closer to Lita.
Lita backed away from Serena.
"How can you tell?" Mina asked leaning closer to Lita.
"Do they smell different? Are they more manly than the rest of the female population?" Serena chimed in after her.
"I didn't know until she told me she was."
"Elew! Then she confessed to you?" Mina asked crawling closer.
Lita shoved Mina's face away from her. Mina flailed.
"No, she just told me that she was gay and because I was her friend, she thought I should know."
Raye leaned back on her hands and glanced at Lita. "You aren't..."
Lita rolled her eyes. "If you want to know if Michelle and Amara are gay, why don't you just ask them?"
Raye, Mina, Serena and Amy all fell to the floor. The glanced at each other and nodded. They could find out. They would stalk the two outer soldiers and find out that way. There had to be come clue that they were gay in their apartment or something.
Lita shook her head as they glared at her. An evil glint lit in their eyes as they jumped her.
Rini approached Serena from behind. She was doing something weird. Rini peered down the sidewalk past the garage where Amara and Michelle were.
Rini tapped Serena on the shoulder. Serena turned around to stare at the pink spore.
"Whatcha doing?"
"Shush!" Serena whined.
"We're trying to find out if those two are gay..." Mina said in a harsh whisper.
"What's gay?" Rini asked in a louder voice.
Rini looked around the corner with the other sailors. She scratched her head and tilted it.
"Are they infected with a Diamond?"
"Huh? Diamond?" Amy asked, blushing hard as the two girls held hands.
"You know, the Monster of the Day. Is that what gay is?"
"It is two people of the same sex are are attracted to each other and like to kiss each other," Amy informed Rini.
"C'mon, they're moving out of sight," Usagi said.
They dashed forward behind a pole and then hid behind a car. Usagi heaved a sigh of relief.
"But they are cousins," Rini said in an even louder voice.
Mina gagged her with her hand. "Shush."
"They may be cousins, but cousins can fall for each other, for example in foreign places like Japan sometimes cousins on your mother's side can marry each other. However, it is true that same sex couples can't marry."
Rini struggled and Mina lifted her hand. "Are they maternal cousins and want to marry?"
"No... we saw them staring at each other a lot."
"Stop asking questions you little spore and let's follow them."
"Follow who?" a fifth voice asked.
Everyone jumped. Michelle was towering over them but with a gentle smile on her face.
"What's this about us being gay because we were staring at each other?"
"You stare and hold hands and you come close to kissing..." Serena babbled. "If you need help being straight, do one of you ant to be a man with the Silver crystal thingy? Whatever it is called...."
"What?" Michelle asked towering over Serena some more.
"Because it must be painful to be gay and stuff. You want to be a boy, right--well one of you. It might be more fun to be a man because all gays are actually transgender."
"Transgender? What's that?" Rini asked.
Amy covered her ears.
Michelle smacked Serena's face.
"First of all, it's not your business if we are gay or not. Second of all, where did you get your facts about being gay?"
Serena blushed and said, "From reading fan fiction on the internet."
Everyone fell over.
"Anyway, are you gay with Amara?"
Michelle's face turned red. She grit her teeth and marched away from Serena.
"I think that's a yes," Serena said.
"Should we report it to the police?" Amy asked.
Mina shook her head. "I hate the police. Let's go home... we can always catch them later."
Later that day, Rini asked Serena's mom, "What's transgender?"
And Serena's mother punished Serena for knowing anything about gay, internet, and thumped her with a Bible and had her refresh herself on the compliance of FCC rules on cable television. Serena never did find out if Amara and Michelle were gay, but then she also began to question Lita's sexuality when she followed Amara around that one day...
I hope you enjoyed this one shot. If you comment with improvements, I'll try my best to take and improve this piece. And sorry for the endless paragraphs the first time. Submission format changed yet again without notice.