50 rules of living in oz, written by me and my wicked friend queenoftheoutlands :). Fiyero decided he had to change number 22 for us :P. If you don't understand the Dave references read queenoftheoutlands Why Glinda should avoid bananas :)
1. I am not allowed to pop Glinda's bubble
2. I am not allowed to paint myself green and scare the munchkins
3. Munchkins are not elves
4. I am not allowed to imitate Glinda hitting the high notes
5. I am not allowed to make comments about vegetables
6. Or traffic lights
7. I am not allowed to announce a hug a Elphie day
8. Fiyero did it first.....what ever it was
9. I am not allowed to employ a surgeon to check if Fiyero really is brainless
10. ..... even if they have been trained
11. Im not allowed to dress up as Morrible, especially if I'm a boy
12. I'm not allowed to shout I'M MELTING when it rains is Elphaba is about
13. I am not allowed to tell people they could be The Wizard's grand viser. It generally ends badly
14. I am not allowed to hide behind the curtain whilst the wizard is on lunch break, then activate the giant head when he comes back in
15. I am not allowed to dress up as morrible/the wizard for Halloween
16. Ditto paint my self green
17. I will not steal Dave again
18. I will not eat Dave
19. I will not measure Boq
20. I will not start Naked Thursdays at Shiz
21. I will not follow Elphaba around, pretending to be the ghost of Nessa
22. Fiyero does not perform sexual favours......Actually he might and is open to bribes ;)
23. I will not get boq/nessa/chistery drunk
24. or Galinda
25. I will not tell Nessa that Boq's seeing someone else
26. I won't tell her that someone else is morrible
27. There is no need to threaten Elphaba with the words, I'll get you my pretty and your little flying monkey too
28. I will not tell Chistery that he is allowed to eat Dave
29. Glinda does not want to help make you popular. stop asking
30. The guy who yells "Look! It's Glinda!" 's name is not "Captain Obvious"
31. Its actually Jimbob Worthington-Smyth but that's another story
32. The Cowardly Lion would not benefit from martial arts classes
33. I am not allowed to call the time dragon clock Norbert
34. I will not play the gay bar song whilst Fiyero and Boq are in close proximity
35. I will not mock Nessa
36. Elphaba does not feel pretty, oh so pretty
37. I am not allowed to give Glinda high energy drinks and tell her its lemons and melons and pears punch
38. Ditto Boq
39. I am not allowed to Paint the yellow brick road blue and say that they ran out of yellow bricks
40. I am not allowed to call Doctor Dillamond a Horse, or a sheep
41. I will not ask Fiyero where the hell he is prince of
42. I will not ask Fiyero how he got his scandalous reputation
43. I will not stick Dave the banana in my ear and call myself the banana king.
44. I am not Boq's personal trainer
45. Boq is NOT a pen
46. I must remember that Boq is not a BBQ
47. I will not sneak up on Elphaba whilst she is sleeping and cut her hair
48. I will not dress Elphaba up in pink and Glinda up in Green and say its opposites day
49. I will not light a match next to Fiyero
50. I will not blow up the world just to see if Glinda notices