Follow Me
Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Minds, and I can't wait for the new season...
Summary: JJ asks Emily for help when she thinks Dave is cheating on her, so they trail Dave. What will they find?
A/N: A little humor for us all, enjoyed.
Thanks for reading, please remember I love reviews.
"Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while at first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart." Author Unknown
JJ stood by the break room, fueled with anger and extreme jealousy.
She saw her brunette friend walking towards her, head bent down, scanning her Iphone for the text messages she got.
A hand grabbed her pulling the brunette from her task seeing the blonde in front of her.
"Jesus, JJ" Emily said palm on her chest "Trying to scare me to death?"
"Shh" JJ whispered, a flash of pain and anger in her eyes.
"Huh?" Emily said in a hushed tone looking up to hear Dave's voice on the others.
"Ok" Dave said "I got it. Where? Are you sure? You saw it right?"
Emily frowned as she looked over at JJ's face, a look of determination was on her face, clear as a day.
"I'll be there." Dave said "I've been there at least a dozen times."
"What the hell is he talking about?" Emily mouthed to JJ, who shrugged.
"Tell Candy to hang on." Dave said chuckling, "I know how she gets, just keep her cool for me."
Emily mouthed "Candy?"
"No, no." Dave said "I've got the money. For as much as I'm shelling out she'd better stay put."
Emily's eyebrows rose up while JJ glared at the door, hand aimed on her gun ready to take action.
Emily grabbed JJ by the elbow shaking her head, and grabbed the angry blonde as they heard Dave open the break room door leaving.
"That son of a bitch!" JJ hissed out turning at his receding form "He's cheating on me, and he's going to see some skanky stripper. Candy?"
"Shh" Emily said soothingly "Calm down. Do you think he'd actually cheat on you? Dave loves you."
"He's Dave Rossi," the blonde retorted, stepping back when she saw the brunette's eyebrow raise, "The fraternization rules were written because of him."
Emily bit her lip, "Well what do you want to do?"
JJ grabbed her hand and headed for the door, "We're going to follow his cheating ass, then you're going to help me kick Candy's."
"Me?" Emily said, "Why me?"
"It's your damn job as my best friend." JJ said heading for the parking garage.
Emily pulled the car over and saw Dave get out of his SUV, turning she raised an eyebrow at JJ.
"Unless they changed Walmart into a strip club, I don't think he's cheating on you." Emily said staring at Dave as he wandered into the super center.
"Doesn't mean he's not meeting this 'Candy' in there." JJ said opening the door "Move it, Agent Prentiss."
Emily sighed as she got out and followed the blonde into the store.
"So what do we do?" Emily asked scanning the shopping center for Dave and his 'friend' "Do you want to call over the P.A. for him to get his ass out here?"
"Not a bad idea." JJ said with a smirk on her face, "Unfortunately that won't be necessary, look who else is here?"
Emily turned around and saw Dave talking to Hotch, both men with their backs to them.
"What the hell is Hotch doing here?" Emily asked the blonde.
"Not sure" JJ said grabbing her arm, "Look they're on the move."
Emily and JJ followed at a safe distance the two men walking towards the electronics department.
Trying to be stealthy and not alert store security, the women duck into the video game section, peering behind the stand to stare at Hotch and Dave.
"Do you see them?" JJ asked in a low tone.
"Uh uh," Emily replied "Where the hell did they go?"
Walking out slowly, they notice Hotch and Dave moving over to the health section.
"There" Emily whispered following them, seeing the back of them. A smirk graced Emily's face when she noticed Hotch wasn't wearing his suit jacket and she got a clear view of his perfect butt.
JJ turned to see the grin on Emily's face and turned to see why, rolling her eyes.
"Quit gawking at Hotch's ass" JJ whispered.
"Can't help it" Emily sighed, "Look at it, it's round, ample and oh so made to be touched. Just daring to be pinched."
"Then do it, you big chicken" JJ said stopping as the two stared at some medications with there mind focused on their task.
Walking lightly by, JJ rushed by sticking her tongue out at the back of Dave's head, she turned and motioned for Emily to hurry along.
Emily walked by quickly, then pinched Hotch's butt and ran, following the blonde to the food court.
"What the hell was that?" Hotch said looking up from the ant-acid medication.
"What?" Dave said picking up the medication.
"Someone just pinched my butt." Hotch said looking down the middle of the aisle but saw no one.
"Oh" Dave said turning to head out "That would be Emily. She and JJ have been trailing me since I left the BAU."
"Well why are they following you?" Hotch asked looking at the older man.
"Probably spied on me during our phone call about Candy." Dave said shrugging.
"Do they know who Candy is?" Hotch asked raising an eyebrow.
"Nope" Dave said smirking at his friend "What? They get angry at us for being possessive whenever guys get near us, I only think it's fair for them to see how it feels if someone else went after their fella."
Hotch raised an eyebrow at him shaking his head, "You're weird."
"Eh" Dave said "But I've got my girl here to fight for me, which is more than I can say for you."
Narrowing his eyes, "What are you getting at?"
"You got this gorgeous, smart and sexy brunette stalking your ass through Walmart then pinching you and you do nothing about it." Dave said "What the hell is wrong with you?"
Hotch shrugged his shoulders indifferently, "What if this is all that it is? Flirting and the teasing?"
Dave sighed as the two continued on their destination, he wanted to run down an aisle to get Hotch a clue, but unfortunately their were no aisles that had answers for clueless idiots.
"Hotch" Dave said as they past the pet aisle and he grabbed some dog treats, and pet medication "For being a profiler, hell the lead profiler on our team, you are even more clueless than Reid."
Hotch turned giving Dave a glare, but sighed in defeat as the two headed for the check out aisle.
Before paying for his purchases, Dave picked up two bouquet of flowers, handing one to Hotch and paying for his own items.
"Dave, you are hardly my idea of the perfect date." Hotch said taking the yellow daisies with a raised eyebrow.
Dave gave him a look, "Don't be a smart ass Aaron. That's my job. Buy these for Emily and ask her out."
"Dave..." Hotch said warningly.
"Or better yet, don't. Have your hand as your date for the next thirty years and I can set Emily up with my cousin Bobby." Dave said raising an eyebrow to Hotch "What's it going to be?"
Sighing Hotch looked over into the food court to see the two women spot them and giving them a look.
"I think Bobby's got a thing for brunettes." Dave said pulling out his cell phone, giving the clerk a look, "What?"
The female cashier looked at Hotch, "You going to take that?"
"Huh?" Hotch asked looking down at the flowers he placed them on the counter for her to scan.
"Wise decision" she replied, "You know, no offense but if you like the girl, just go with it. What's the worst that can happen, she says no?"
Hotch grabbed Dave's cell phone and closed it, tossing the clerk the money he went to the food court.
Hotch slammed the flowers on the table in front of Emily, turning to JJ, "Go talk to Dave about Candy."
JJ's eyes widened remembering their task, and gave Emily a look as she mouthed "Tell him."
"So" Emily said slowly looking at the flowers, "Are these for me or the cashier there?"
Chuckling, "So you pinched my ass in the medication aisle."
"Crap, I didn't think you'd spot me." Emily said sighing "Yes, that was me. God, I'm so embarrassed."
"Don't be." Hotch said sighing "I wanted to... God this is hard."
"Are you trying to ask me out?" Emily asked.
"Yeah, how am I doing?" Hotch asked.
Smiling, "Well, I did pinch you and you did buy me nice flowers..." Emily trailed off "I guess I could do that." '
Leaning into kiss her, Emily chuckled.
"What?" Hotch asked.
"Can you just tell me something..." Emily said trying to control her laughter "Who's Candy?"
Hotch shook his head and laughed.
"Well?" JJ said standing next to the deli section by the food court "What do you have to say for yourself?"
"I bought you flowers?" Dave offered handing her the lilies.
"You think this is going to distract me?" JJ said taking the flowers "Oh these smell good... Wait a second. Answer the question."
"What question?" Dave asked.
Rolling her eyes at his lack of cooperation, "David Rossi, answer me."
Groaning, "Candy isn't who you think she is."
"Who is she?" JJ asked crossing her arms over her chest.
"She's my cousin Bobby's pure bred pup." Dave said "He's out of town working, he knows I have Mudgie, and that I was a dog lover."
"You're taking care of your cousin's dog?" JJ asked "Why haven't I seen her?"
Groaning, "I had to take her to the vets, she got into one of my manuscripts and had a... accident with the printing paper."
"What kind of accident?" JJ asked.
"She ate the ribbon on my old type writer, she seemed fine." Dave said "But then, she got sick, I took her to the vet, they said to give her low grade food and it should... pass."
"Pass?" JJ repeated then eyes widened "Oh."
"I came here for some ant-acids for me" Dave said "And some special blend treats to help Candy. Damn five thousand dollar dog couldn't figure out that type writer ribbon is not to be eaten? Even Mudgie knows better."
Emily and Hotch came up hand in hand laughing.
"What?" Dave asked.
"The dog crapped all over your manuscript?" Emily laughed "The only copy?"
"That was fun retyping." Dave muttered glaring at Hotch for spilling the beans.
"You did not tell me that" JJ said smirking "Do a little investigative digging did you?"
"Shut up." Dave muttered taking JJ's hand as the followed the laughing dark haired couple.
"You did remember to wash your hands, right?" JJ commented.
Emily and Hotch laughed at that.
James Earl Jones said, "One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter."
The End
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