Chuck Hansen killed his first Kaiju when he was sixteen. But just barely.
For years during training he demanded to be put in a Jaeger, to be able to fight, but the moment he stepped into the Striker Eureka and felt the footholds click into place he wanted to be anywhere else. He was terrified and if his face didn't already show it, his father would feel all of it as soon as the Drift was initiated. Over the intercom he could hear the countdown begin and wondered if he had time to turn back, but the giant metal doors were already opening to reveal the 4 a.m. view of Sydney, his home. This was his home.
"Remember Chuck, stay in the Drift."
Three, two, one…
Chuck felt the massive pull on his body that he'd become so accustomed to in the simulator, but this time it was different. It was stronger; it made him feel like he couldn't breathe. Memories rushed through his head and he couldn't tell which ones belonged to him and then he saw her.
He recognized the black dress with little daisies covering it and the auburn hair that hung by her shoulders. She was even wearing the plastic beaded bracelet he had made for her the day before.
"Mom," his mouth formed the words faintly as he hesitated to step forward.
Just as she was about to turn and smile at her son, Chuck was suddenly watching the TV screen that showed downtown being destroyed. Crumbling like cigarettes ashes the buildings fell one by one. The Kaiju demolished everything in its path and he couldn't tear himself away from the image or the screams or the rage.
Sitting stoically next to his father, the two watched as the empty casket was lowered into the ground to symbolize all the victims of the attack whose bodies couldn't be recovered. Neither cried, neither spoke, they just stared straight ahead, wishing the whole thing would be over.
Finally, he was back at the base, his new home. But as he walked into the double bedroom chamber Chuck saw himself curled up on the bed, clutching that photo and crying, his tears staining the ink and making it blur. He tried to take a step forward but his feet were cemented to the ground. His mouth was dry and thick as he watched the little boy in front of him, knowing what he should do, what he should say, and yet he didn't do anything. Instead, he turned and walked back into Herc's room and sat down with his head in his hands.
"Angela…"
Chuck thought he might throw up when he came back but his father's voice brought him to reality.
"We've got a job to do."
And with that Chuck set his jaw and lifted the heavy metal suit, taking the first step forward. The entire battle seemed a blur to him as the memories kept seeping back to him, threatening to pull him under, but somehow they had managed to do it. The father and son team built on contempt and unspoken words had killed the Kaiju and protected millions of people.
But they didn't celebrate, they didn't hug, and they didn't say, "I love you." What was the point, Chuck thought, when they were already inside each other's heads? Why should today be any different from any other day? Why should they suddenly embrace and say all the things they never had before? So the two merely looked at one another before departing the Jaeger and returning to their separate rooms.
Six months later they were back in the same place. Locked into the Jaeger, the two men stared out at the ocean in front of them and took a simultaneous deep breath.