A/N: Well I was planning on saving these stories for later, but I couldn't
resist. Expect a huge update coming soon!
Congrats to all the awesome authors that have new chapters, and stories up! Like always I give a special shout-out to the peeps that update their stories, well I'm not going to make an exception now.
Congrats to:
Raine-Sama silver elf child Ryan Phelan Villigeidiot54 solar Sun Kaladan Flashblade PapillonStar Justsomeone Sailor Vegeta K@mikaze KAtie AAPPG 42 Eclipse Rapheal Dolphy- She has also updated her website! Daydream Lady Ravenclaw Orenda Ying-Yang Renegade Angel Nanake Illariel Chrys
Special Thanks to Lily C for her insightful knowledge and a great story she shared with me. Thanks!
Whoa that's everybody! Did I forget you? Sorry!! Tell me, and I'll give you a shout out or a request or something.
The team sat in the living room letting curiosity surround them. They had just received a letter from Draganous and couldn't begin to dream why his newest scheme was going to be bad. The note had read:
Dear Pestering Ducks,
I know I personally cannot defeat you by physical strength. But what about emotions? I can put you through pure hell by surrounding you in you're the people that would drive you insane. WildWing and Nosedive this is especially aimed towards you, enjoy my treat when I will bring your parents down on the twenty- fifth of this month two days from now to live with you forever. They will be teleported in your living room.
Have a rotten day,
Dragonas
WildWing fainted onto the floor, and Nosedive ran into his room.
"Aw man", said Canard completely ignoring his buddy, "I can't believe we're going to have to put up with them!"
"WildWing", said Tanya frantically, "Can you hear me?"
"We're going to have to live with those people", continued Canard, "I thought seeing in their house was bad, and even having them come to our house, but to live with them?"
"WildWing", said Tanya, "WildWing wake up!"
"I cannot stand them", said Canard, "They are going to be so annoying! Where are even supposed to house all of these people?"
"WildWing", screamed Tanya.
"I'm keeping my bed and my room", said Canard, "That's all I'm saying."
"He's not responding", cried Tanya, "Get me some cold water."
Mallory and Duke darted out of the room to fetch the needed item.
"I mean I have patience with people, I'm a people person", continued Canard, "But these people are just plain wrong! I mean you think I might be exaggerating, but oh my gosh these people are just wrong! And then-"
"CANARD", shouted Tanya, "I am trying very to hard to control my temper here, but am failing miserably! I do not want to here your rambling, right now your best friend is unconscious."
"He is?!"
"Ya think?!"
"Whoa would you look at that, he is."
"UGH! Canard get out!"
"Say wha'?"
"I mean go talk to Nosedive. If WildWing fainted then I'm sure Nosedive isn't doing too well. Now go!"
"Geez pushy."
"I said out!"
"Gone!"
~Nosedive's Room~
*Knock knock*
"It's open", cried Nosedive.
"Yo man it's me", said Canard, "OH MY GOSH! What are you doing?"
"I'm cleaning my room! My Mrs. Flashblade is coming here! I can't have a messy room; she is a cleaning freak or don't you remember? She even made you clean your room!"
"Dive, not to discourage you but do you have any idea how long its going to take you to clean this room? Sort and organize it the way your mother likes?"
"Sort, organizing? Who do you think I am? Superman?"
"Oh?"
"I'm going to put it all in my closet and tell my Mrs. Flashblade that its off limits."
"Yeah and unless your mother had a personality alteration she's going to want to know what's in there being her bossy and nosy self."
"Ugh, well I'll think of something!"
"Want help?"
"YES! Please help me!"
Nosedive started to madly throw objects into the closet. He ran around the room, picking things up and then stuffing them into the closet.
"Yo kid chill out. What's the matter with you?"
"Do you remember my parents?"
"Kid anyone who meets your parents will remember them."
"Well good, then you obviously remember that they like to eat!"
"Oh yeah."
"And so they are going to want a whole big blow out feast in their honor!"
Nosedive wasn't good at many things. He was always clumsy and always knocking things over, screwing up plans and not sticking to his commitments. Always bored with education and not satisfied until he was reading comics or being a complete menace to society. However cooking was something he perfected in. Nosedive loved to eat much like his mother, so it was no wonder when he started cooking and baking for himself. The wonder was how the food tasted so good! All of his food was as good as gourmet or better. For a summer job he even worked as a caterer. Naturally when someone in the family is good at cooking that person becomes he chef. But if the person is the child then requests can be made, and special dishes are arranged.
"Heh heh, you'll be up all night cooking!"
"All night? No, I'd be lucky. I'm going to be spending the next two days in that kitchen preparing and cooking, and then another two days to clean all of it."
"Good luck."
"Hey no way, you have to help."
"Haa haa! Me help? HA!"
"Canard look at this way, if you don't help then you don't eat whatever I make!"
"Aw man, come on kid we don't have to start threatening each other here."
"I'm serious!"
"Oh fine, I'll help, geez I knew Wing should have never given you that book on self esteem."
"Oh you know about that book do you?"
"Yeah, hehe you have no self esteem! That's funny!"
"Yeah the book helped a lot, want to see the helpful tips it had?"
"Sure."
"GOOD!"
Nosedive picked up the very book and through it across the room hitting Canard in the chest knocking him over.
"See now that's funny."
"Heh, I'm laughing hard."
"You too?"
Just then WildWing burst through the door, followed by the rest of the team.
"NOSEDIVE", he said screaming, "THEY'RE COMING, THEY'RE COMING!"
"I know", replied Nosedive, "I know!"
WildWing got down on his knees and looked up to the heavens, "WHY ME? What did I ever do to you?"
"Come on buddy", said Canard, "You better get a room ready for them."
"I was always a good duckling", said WildWing, "I never cheated, stole, lied, spat, cursed-"
"Yeah I took care of that", snickered Nosedive.
"YOU", cried WildWing accusingly jumping up and pointing a finger at his brother. "You're the reason we have these parents!"
"Me?!"
"YES! It all makes sense now! God couldn't get back at you enough for destroying everything so he got back at me!"
"You're nuts", said Nosedive.
"I'm NUTS! No I'm going to be nuts by the end of this! I was so happy when I moved out! And now it's all coming back!"
"Wing", said Duke, "What's coming back?"
"THE NIGHMARES", said WildWing madly, "The parents from hell!"
"Okay you've finally lost it", said Canard, "I knew you're parents would get to you eventually and since you haven't lived with them for a while this whole adjustment is going to be rough and that's why you're flipping out."
"YA THINK", screamed WildWing.
"Okay", said Mallory, "Hold up. Why are they so bad?"
"Oh you'll see", said Nosedive, "Don't worry, you'll see."
"Nosedive", exclaimed WildWing, "Canard will finish your room, Mallory and Tanya will fix up my room for my parents, Duke and Grin will clean the place and you'll cook."
"Um thanks", replied Nosedive.
"Whoa rewind", said Mallory, "I'm doing what?"
"I don't exactly clean", said Duke.
"There ain't no way I'm picking up the kid's mess", said Canard.
"YOU ALL ARE! BECAUSE I SAID SO! IT HAS TO BE PERFECT! PERFECT AND HAPPY! HAPPY YOU HEAR ME, HAPPY!"
"Okay Wing", said Tanya, "We'll do it!"
"Come on everyone", said Duke, "Let's leave before our fearless leader has a heart attack."
"Wait", said Canard, "What are you going to do?"
"Me", asked WildWing, "I'm going to talk to Phil about the do's and don'ts of my parents."
"Good idea", said Canard, "Real good idea."
So after all the chores and lectures were over and done with the team sat anticipating waiting for the parents to arrive. However the teleporter showed four ducks, instead of just two.
"Oh no", muttered Nosedive, "They brought "them"."
"Them kid", asked Duke.
"NO NO NO", shouted WildWing, "WHY??"
"Yo Wing", cried Canard, "I thought I told you no coffee, so there's two more ducks then planned relax!"
Sooner and sooner the figures started to fade into the living room.
"Do you know how they are", snapped WildWing, "And for your information, coffee is going to get me through this! That and vodka."
"Now that's not a very good role model", said Canard teasingly, "Anyway who are they?"
"Our siblings", muttered Nosedive.
"NOOO", whined Canard, "NO NO NO!"
WildWing through himself on the floor like a baby and started stomping his feet.
"I HATE MY LIFE", he shouted.
He was soon joined by Canard.
"Aren't you going to join them kid", asked Duke.
"I would", said Nosedive, "But it's too much fun watching them."
In an instant the four figures were finally in the living room. And instantaneously WildWing and Canard jumped up and wiped their tears. You would have never known they were upset.
The mother was a bit portly and the father was bald, the two siblings were a boy and a girl. The boy was actually WildWing's twin, and apparently with a completely different agenda towards life. He had a whole tough guy thing going for him with a bandana and baggy black pants. The sister was short and fifteen just a year behind Nosedive. They easily looked like twins. She was cute red-head too in a tight mini-skirt, tight shirt, and high heels.
"MOM", exclaimed WildWing, "DAD! Bro, sis hey!"
The six ducks hugged each other.
"They seem nice", said Mallory.
"Just wait", replied Canard.
"Okay everyone", said WildWing, "I'd like to introduce you to my family. This is my mom, and my dad. And my identical twin BonusBeak, or Bones and my sister JoyRide or Joy. "
"Okay is it just me", asked Duke, "Or do they all have issues with their names."
"They're the family from hell", whined Canard, "What'd you expect, normality? HA! Well that's not fair of me. BonusBeak got his name because they weren't expecting twins, only one kid. So when he came out, he was a bonus baby, get it? And as for WildWing when he came out he was crazy; kicking everything, screaming or wild. And as for Nosedive, well he fell out of the doctor's arms as soon as he was delivered and miraculously lived from the "nosedive", and as for JoyRide well she was a very easy birth or a "joyride."
Duke laughed lightly to himself.
"Oh look it's Chunky Canard", said BonusBeak, "You lost weight!"
"Yes please don't mention it", said Canard shyfully.
"Hey Mrs. Flashblade look", said BonusBeak, "He got in shape!"
"Oh that's wonderful", said the mother, "You were so ugly as a child!"
"Um thanks?"
"Chunky Canard", asked Duke with a cocked eyebrow.
"Ever say that and I'll kill you", snapped Canard viciously.
"Whoa sorry dude", replied Duke.
"Nosedive", shrieked JoyRide, "I want food!"
"It begins", muttered Nosedive.
"Oh yes dear", said the mother, "That sounds lovely. I hope you didn't go through any trouble."
~Flashback~
"WE HAVE NO MILK", screamed Nosedive, "How am I supposed to make this without milk? Oh and no eggs! UGH!"
Nosedive ran out of the house to get the items at the store. He came back with black and blue's all up and down his back. Apparently there was one box of eggs left and he and some other kid wanted it and they got into a fight about it. Nosedive had won but man did it hurt.
Then when he had returned he had to constantly keep a look out for Duke was after his food.
"WHOA", cried Duke, "Look at all this food!"
He went to grab a chocolate chip muffin.
"Duke L'Orange", cried Nosedive, "I said out of my kitchen! If I catch you one more time trying to steal my food I'm going to use that butcher knife but not on meat, do you understand?"
~Reality~
"No Mrs. Flashblade", said Nosedive, "I didn't go through any trouble."
"Why not", asked the mother.
Nosedive smirked, "Hey everyone", he said, "You have to meet our teammates."
"Yes it was quite rude Wing", said the mother, "You should have introduced us properly. I brought you up much better than that."
"Yes Mrs. Flashblade, sorry. This is Mallory, Duke, Grin, and Tanya."
"Oh Mallory dear", said the mother, "It's not very feminine to have short hair. Oh and Tanya darling, you should try to wear more womanly clothes, instead of that suit."
"Heh", said the father, "You're giving tips on fashion, ha!"
"What", cried the mother, "I happen to be-"
"A pain in my ass", replied the father.
"Oh shut up you fool."
"That's nice", said the father, "But where's the food?"
"Oh stop it", said the mother, "We'll eat later."
"You can eat later, I want food!"
"Oh stop. WildWing, where shall I be sleeping?"
"In my room Mrs. Flashblade", replied WildWing. "And we weren't really expecting our siblings, so Dive and I will take the couch."
"I'm not sleeping with him", cried JoyRide, "I'm a girl!"
"Yeah but-", protested Canard, "I'm not giving up my bed!"
"Oh yes you are young man", said the mother, "Is this how I brought you up?"
"What", exclaimed Canard.
"Oh please you were always over at our house, I practically raised you."
"Emphasis on practically!"
"What was that dear?"
"I said let's eat!"
"I heard that", said the dad, "Show me da food!"
"Um actually", said Nosedive, "The appetizer isn't ready yet, so we'll have to wait a bit."
"Oh", said his mother disappointed.
"What's wrong Mrs. Flashblade", asked WildWing.
"I just thought my own sons would put in enough time to prepare something correctly. I guess I don't mean as much to you as I thought."
Nosedive's jaw dropped open. All he had done was cook for his family, cook and clean. The team had sacrificed their Phil free days on housework and now here comes Ms Thang telling the world that something isn't right.
"But Mrs. Flashblade", exclaimed Nosedive, "I haven't stopped cooking, or cleaning or, or, or,"
"We're sorry", groaned WildWing.
"Oh now that's what I wanted to hear", said the mother happily kissing her son. "And Nosedive are you sorry?"
"FOR WHAT", exclaimed Nosedive.
"Oh don't raise your temper, it's not very nice."
"You of all people are lecturing me on manne-, I'm sorry."
"Oh I love you!"
"Yeah yeah", muttered Nosedive.
"Where's the food", asked the dad.
"Not ready yet", said Nosedive.
"Why not", asked the father.
"Because that's my life", replied Nosedive.
"Okay whatever", said JoyRide, "I'm bored."
"That's nice", replied WildWing.
"Wing", she whined, "I want to do something!"
"How about killing yourself", suggested Nosedive.
Lucky for him no one except the team heard his comment.
Then the beeper buzzed.
"Ooh", said Nosedive, "That's the food, okay everyone go sit down, I'll bring the food out now."
"Bout time", said the father.
"Hey Wing", said BonusBeak, "Want to fight?"
"No", said WildWing sternly.
"Not an option", cried BonusBeak.
He tackled his brother on the floor and started wrestling with him. WildWing however showed no sign of fight.
"Oh you're not fun", said BonusBeak, "Come on Wing, do something!"
"No Bry", said WildWing, "Get off of me."
"Betcha you can't make me."
WildWing took his leg from behind and swooped over his brother, than quickly pinned him down.
"You'd lose that bet", said WildWing.
"Oh fine", pouted BonusBeak, "I'll go pick on Dive, he's always fun. Oh Nosedive!"
"Bones", said WildWing, "Leave him alone, come on."
"Yeah Bones", asked Dive, "It's wrestling time!"
"No", shrieked Nosedive.
He ran out of the room and into the kitchen screaming.
"Hold the racquet down", shouted the father.
"But dad", cried Nosedive, "He's going to kill me!"
"I don't care what the hell he does as long as he keeps it quiet", replied the father.
"Boys", cried Mrs. Flashblade, "Come to the dinner table."
"Thank you God", said Nosedive.
All of the members sat down to eat. The mother took it to her own liberty to serve all the courses of the meals.
Finally the main dish came out, with a side of muffins. Everyone was pretty much fill, but didn't want to insult Nosedive so they ate it anyway. However his father and mother were still hungry, along with the rest of the Flashblade family and kept on eating.
"Daddy", said JoyRide, "I'm thirsty. And I'm all out of Coke."
"Wing", said the father, "Deal with Joy."
"Come on Joy", whined WildWing, "You know where the fridge is."
"So do you", replied JoyRide, "Come on I'm thirsty!"
"WildWing", said the father, "Shut her up, and get her some water."
"Ugh", groaned WildWing, "Fine."
WildWing left for the kitchen as Nosedive stared at his other brother. BonusBeak continued to take his muffins and crush them into itty-bitty pieces, then take another and do the same. Nosedive watched in awe as his two-hour masterpiece was being smashed up. WildWing returned with a glass of water, which stopped Nosedive from saying anything.
"Here's your water", said WildWing.
"Ew", cried JoyRide, "It's tap, isn't it?"
"Yeah so", asked WildWing.
"I'm not drinking that!"
"Well that's not my problem."
"Daddy", cried JoyRide, "He didn't get me a drink!"
"WildWing go get your sister a drink", said his father.
"I did dad, but-"
"Zip it", said his father, "Right now I'm eating and I don't want to deal with everyone else."
"Fine", pouted WildWing who left to the kitchen once more.
So as WildWing left, Nosedive once more fixed his gaze on his brother.
"You know Mallory, and Tanya", said Mrs. Flashblade, "You're not getting any younger."
"Excuse me", said Mallory who had enough as she could take.
"I have three sons, why don't you two pick one of 'em", said Mrs. Flashblade. "I want grandkids! I want weddings! And like every good grandmother I want to be able to spoil the children!"
WildWing returned with the drink.
"EW Wing", cried JoyRide.
"What's wrong Joy", asked WildWing.
"How do you expect me to drink that", asked JoyRide.
"Like this", said WildWing, a drunk a little bit of her drink.
"EW", exclaimed JoyRide, "I want another drink! DADDY!"
"WILDWING", shouted Mr. Flashblade.
"I'm going, I'm going".
"I think you did a fine job of "spoiling your own kids", muttered Mallory.
"What was that dear", asked Mrs. Flashblade.
"Oh nothing", replied Mallory.
Once again WildWing returned.
"Do I look like a peasant to you", asked JoyRide.
"Come again", asked WildWing.
"It's called "ice", Wing, "ice". Maybe you should invest your time in it."
WildWing breathed in heavily, "I'll be right back."
BonusBeak continued to smash his food, and Nosedive's stare was fixed on it. But by now Duke sitting next to Nosedive, he noticed the problem. When he began to talk to Nosedive and got no response he looked at the teenager and saw the problem, but like Nosedive let it go.
WildWing once more returned.
"Here", said WildWing.
"Um actually I changed my mind", said JoyRide.
"What", exclaimed WildWing.
"Yeah I want a Popido."
"Joy", said WildWing trying his best to control his temper, "We're on Earth we don't have Popidos."
"So then make it", replied JoyRide rudely.
"How", exclaimed WildWing.
"You're beginning to annoy me with all of your problems", said JoyRide.
"My problems", said WildWing.
"How hard could it be", said JoyRide, "It's sugar, chocolate milk, and some spice."
"Yeah but-"
"Why are you still here", replied JoyRide, "DADDY!"
"WILDWING", bellowed Mr. Flashblade.
"Gone", said WildWing.
Now after eating a meal as big as this obviously the cleaning isn't going to be a one-minute job. But to make matters worse in that department BonusBeak decided to make himself more of nuisance. He picked up his feet and put them on the table and then started to crumble the food onto the floor.
Once again WildWing returned.
"Okay", he said, "I actually did it! I really made it, all by myself, even without the ingredients, Joy! I made you a perfect Popido!"
"Oh that's nice", said Joy, "But I'm kind of in the mood for something new, so grab me whatever you got."
WildWing wanted so hard to just staple his sister's mouth shut but knew that if he even did anything to her, like stapling her mouth shut he'd never here the end of it. So once again he left.
"All I'm saying", said Mrs. Flashblade, "Is that women like yourselves that represent a whole other nation shouldn't be dressing like you."
"Mrs. Flashblade", said Mallory on the verge of murder, "I handle very vital jobs in this team as does Tanya, all of which do not include dressing up for a prom every single day."
"Yes, but dear", said Mrs. Flashblade, "Sometimes hygiene should be considered."
"I'm perfectly clean", cried Mallory.
"It's nice to have a dream dear", replied Mrs. Flashblade sweetly while patting Mallory's hand.
WildWing returned.
"Here", he said, "It's called Pepsi."
"And it's called my glass", replied JoyRide, "Pour it for me."
WildWing opened the can viscioulsy and therefore making it spill all over him.
"WildWing", said JoyRide, "Hurry up with it!"
WildWing glared at his sister, but he poured her the drink.
"Ew", she cried, "I don't like this, give me something else to try."
WildWing obediently took the glass and Pepsi aggressively away from his sister.
"Divey Dork", said BonusBeak.
"Hey", said Nosedive, "Don't call me that!"
"Are you telling me what to do", asked BonusBeak.
"No", said Nosedive quietly.
"That's what I thought", replied BonusBeak, "Now what the hell is this?"
"Calamari", replied Nosedive, "It's an Earth dish, since they have a lot water here they have a lot sea dishes."
"What the hell is Calamari", asked BonusBeak.
"Squids", said Nosedive.
"What is a squid", asked BonusBeak.
"Um it's like a fish, kinda."
"Oh yeah that was helpful", said BonusBeak, "And what's this bouncy stuff?"
"Escargot", said Nosedive.
"English dork", said BonusBeak.
"Snails", replied Nosedive.
"EW", shrieked JoyRide, "I'm eating slugs?!"
"Well yes", said Nosedive, "But."
"Look it bounces", cried BonusBeak who began to bounce the food onto the floor.
"DADDY", screamed JoyRide, "He pulled a prank on me, he's always doing that, being such a bad kid!"
"Nosedive", said Mr. Flashblade, "Do I need to take my belt out?"
"I didn't do anything", cried Nosedive.
"It's still bouncing", cried BonusBeak.
WildWing once more returned with another drink.
"Here Joy", he said, "Is this acceptable for the princess?"
JoyRide took a small sip, "Ugh", she said, "I hate this, but I'm going to be nice and suffer through, because I'm a good girl, right Daddy?"
"You're daddy's little girl", said Mr. Flashblade, "But you don't have to be so brave."
"Brave", repeated WildWing.
"WildWing", said Mr. Flashblade, "This is the last time I'm going to tell you, get her a drink!"
WildWing through his hands in the air and left.
"Nosedive is playing tricks on me mom", cried JoyRide.
"Now Nosedive", said Mrs. Flashblade, "We don't want to end up like children in jail, now do we?"
"But mom", cried Nosedive, "It's fancy food, I prepared a fancy dish and-"
"I'm not hearing something", said Mrs. Flashblade.
"I'm sorry mom", said Nosedive.
"That's my baby boy", said Mrs. Flashblade.
Now usually Nosedive would have commented on the nick name, but he was too busy watching his food go up and down in one hand, and in the other watching it be crumbled into tiny pieces.
Now the entire team had sat quiet during all of this, because of the relations the brothers had with them, but it was getting to be ridiculous. They just kept waiting for someone to pop.
Once more WildWing returned.
"Here", he said, "Drink this."
"About time", said JoyRide.
"Do you like it", asked WildWing madly.
"Actually I'm not thirsty anymore", said JoyRide.
"What?!!!"
"But you owe me something", said JoyRide.
"What", cried WildWing.
"An apology for being so rude", replied JoyRide.
"WHAT", shouted WildWing as loud as he could.
"STOP IT", cried Nosedive, "STOP BOUNCING MY FOOD!"
"You want a drink", said WildWing, "Okay here you little monster, drink this!"
WildWing splattered the drink all over his sister.
"You see this", cried Nosedive who was now holding his brother's hand, "This is called food! You are supposed to eat this! But since you're having so much fun playing with it, I wouldn't want to spoil your fun, so allow me to enforce it. Here have some more toys!"
Nosedive dumped every dish he could reach onto his brother.
"HA", said WildWing.
"HA", said Nosedive.
The two stormed out of the room slamming the door. There was pure silence. But in sec the two returned.
They both took the remaining dishes left and carried them out.
"I worked forever on this", said Nosedive, "And I plan on eating it!"
"And I plan on drinking every type of drink possible", said WildWing.
And once more the brothers departed.
"That went well", muttered Canard.
"You know", said Mrs. Flashblade, "They get this from your side of the family."
"My family", cried Mr. Flashblade, "My family is filled with saints!"
"Oh really", said Mrs. Flashblade, "Well they don't get it from my family!"
The two began to bicker intensely so everyone just left.
So far, not so good. Can the Flashblade Family learn to be normal? Can everyone keep their sanity? Find out in the next chapter, coming soon!
Congrats to all the awesome authors that have new chapters, and stories up! Like always I give a special shout-out to the peeps that update their stories, well I'm not going to make an exception now.
Congrats to:
Raine-Sama silver elf child Ryan Phelan Villigeidiot54 solar Sun Kaladan Flashblade PapillonStar Justsomeone Sailor Vegeta K@mikaze KAtie AAPPG 42 Eclipse Rapheal Dolphy- She has also updated her website! Daydream Lady Ravenclaw Orenda Ying-Yang Renegade Angel Nanake Illariel Chrys
Special Thanks to Lily C for her insightful knowledge and a great story she shared with me. Thanks!
Whoa that's everybody! Did I forget you? Sorry!! Tell me, and I'll give you a shout out or a request or something.
The team sat in the living room letting curiosity surround them. They had just received a letter from Draganous and couldn't begin to dream why his newest scheme was going to be bad. The note had read:
Dear Pestering Ducks,
I know I personally cannot defeat you by physical strength. But what about emotions? I can put you through pure hell by surrounding you in you're the people that would drive you insane. WildWing and Nosedive this is especially aimed towards you, enjoy my treat when I will bring your parents down on the twenty- fifth of this month two days from now to live with you forever. They will be teleported in your living room.
Have a rotten day,
Dragonas
WildWing fainted onto the floor, and Nosedive ran into his room.
"Aw man", said Canard completely ignoring his buddy, "I can't believe we're going to have to put up with them!"
"WildWing", said Tanya frantically, "Can you hear me?"
"We're going to have to live with those people", continued Canard, "I thought seeing in their house was bad, and even having them come to our house, but to live with them?"
"WildWing", said Tanya, "WildWing wake up!"
"I cannot stand them", said Canard, "They are going to be so annoying! Where are even supposed to house all of these people?"
"WildWing", screamed Tanya.
"I'm keeping my bed and my room", said Canard, "That's all I'm saying."
"He's not responding", cried Tanya, "Get me some cold water."
Mallory and Duke darted out of the room to fetch the needed item.
"I mean I have patience with people, I'm a people person", continued Canard, "But these people are just plain wrong! I mean you think I might be exaggerating, but oh my gosh these people are just wrong! And then-"
"CANARD", shouted Tanya, "I am trying very to hard to control my temper here, but am failing miserably! I do not want to here your rambling, right now your best friend is unconscious."
"He is?!"
"Ya think?!"
"Whoa would you look at that, he is."
"UGH! Canard get out!"
"Say wha'?"
"I mean go talk to Nosedive. If WildWing fainted then I'm sure Nosedive isn't doing too well. Now go!"
"Geez pushy."
"I said out!"
"Gone!"
~Nosedive's Room~
*Knock knock*
"It's open", cried Nosedive.
"Yo man it's me", said Canard, "OH MY GOSH! What are you doing?"
"I'm cleaning my room! My Mrs. Flashblade is coming here! I can't have a messy room; she is a cleaning freak or don't you remember? She even made you clean your room!"
"Dive, not to discourage you but do you have any idea how long its going to take you to clean this room? Sort and organize it the way your mother likes?"
"Sort, organizing? Who do you think I am? Superman?"
"Oh?"
"I'm going to put it all in my closet and tell my Mrs. Flashblade that its off limits."
"Yeah and unless your mother had a personality alteration she's going to want to know what's in there being her bossy and nosy self."
"Ugh, well I'll think of something!"
"Want help?"
"YES! Please help me!"
Nosedive started to madly throw objects into the closet. He ran around the room, picking things up and then stuffing them into the closet.
"Yo kid chill out. What's the matter with you?"
"Do you remember my parents?"
"Kid anyone who meets your parents will remember them."
"Well good, then you obviously remember that they like to eat!"
"Oh yeah."
"And so they are going to want a whole big blow out feast in their honor!"
Nosedive wasn't good at many things. He was always clumsy and always knocking things over, screwing up plans and not sticking to his commitments. Always bored with education and not satisfied until he was reading comics or being a complete menace to society. However cooking was something he perfected in. Nosedive loved to eat much like his mother, so it was no wonder when he started cooking and baking for himself. The wonder was how the food tasted so good! All of his food was as good as gourmet or better. For a summer job he even worked as a caterer. Naturally when someone in the family is good at cooking that person becomes he chef. But if the person is the child then requests can be made, and special dishes are arranged.
"Heh heh, you'll be up all night cooking!"
"All night? No, I'd be lucky. I'm going to be spending the next two days in that kitchen preparing and cooking, and then another two days to clean all of it."
"Good luck."
"Hey no way, you have to help."
"Haa haa! Me help? HA!"
"Canard look at this way, if you don't help then you don't eat whatever I make!"
"Aw man, come on kid we don't have to start threatening each other here."
"I'm serious!"
"Oh fine, I'll help, geez I knew Wing should have never given you that book on self esteem."
"Oh you know about that book do you?"
"Yeah, hehe you have no self esteem! That's funny!"
"Yeah the book helped a lot, want to see the helpful tips it had?"
"Sure."
"GOOD!"
Nosedive picked up the very book and through it across the room hitting Canard in the chest knocking him over.
"See now that's funny."
"Heh, I'm laughing hard."
"You too?"
Just then WildWing burst through the door, followed by the rest of the team.
"NOSEDIVE", he said screaming, "THEY'RE COMING, THEY'RE COMING!"
"I know", replied Nosedive, "I know!"
WildWing got down on his knees and looked up to the heavens, "WHY ME? What did I ever do to you?"
"Come on buddy", said Canard, "You better get a room ready for them."
"I was always a good duckling", said WildWing, "I never cheated, stole, lied, spat, cursed-"
"Yeah I took care of that", snickered Nosedive.
"YOU", cried WildWing accusingly jumping up and pointing a finger at his brother. "You're the reason we have these parents!"
"Me?!"
"YES! It all makes sense now! God couldn't get back at you enough for destroying everything so he got back at me!"
"You're nuts", said Nosedive.
"I'm NUTS! No I'm going to be nuts by the end of this! I was so happy when I moved out! And now it's all coming back!"
"Wing", said Duke, "What's coming back?"
"THE NIGHMARES", said WildWing madly, "The parents from hell!"
"Okay you've finally lost it", said Canard, "I knew you're parents would get to you eventually and since you haven't lived with them for a while this whole adjustment is going to be rough and that's why you're flipping out."
"YA THINK", screamed WildWing.
"Okay", said Mallory, "Hold up. Why are they so bad?"
"Oh you'll see", said Nosedive, "Don't worry, you'll see."
"Nosedive", exclaimed WildWing, "Canard will finish your room, Mallory and Tanya will fix up my room for my parents, Duke and Grin will clean the place and you'll cook."
"Um thanks", replied Nosedive.
"Whoa rewind", said Mallory, "I'm doing what?"
"I don't exactly clean", said Duke.
"There ain't no way I'm picking up the kid's mess", said Canard.
"YOU ALL ARE! BECAUSE I SAID SO! IT HAS TO BE PERFECT! PERFECT AND HAPPY! HAPPY YOU HEAR ME, HAPPY!"
"Okay Wing", said Tanya, "We'll do it!"
"Come on everyone", said Duke, "Let's leave before our fearless leader has a heart attack."
"Wait", said Canard, "What are you going to do?"
"Me", asked WildWing, "I'm going to talk to Phil about the do's and don'ts of my parents."
"Good idea", said Canard, "Real good idea."
So after all the chores and lectures were over and done with the team sat anticipating waiting for the parents to arrive. However the teleporter showed four ducks, instead of just two.
"Oh no", muttered Nosedive, "They brought "them"."
"Them kid", asked Duke.
"NO NO NO", shouted WildWing, "WHY??"
"Yo Wing", cried Canard, "I thought I told you no coffee, so there's two more ducks then planned relax!"
Sooner and sooner the figures started to fade into the living room.
"Do you know how they are", snapped WildWing, "And for your information, coffee is going to get me through this! That and vodka."
"Now that's not a very good role model", said Canard teasingly, "Anyway who are they?"
"Our siblings", muttered Nosedive.
"NOOO", whined Canard, "NO NO NO!"
WildWing through himself on the floor like a baby and started stomping his feet.
"I HATE MY LIFE", he shouted.
He was soon joined by Canard.
"Aren't you going to join them kid", asked Duke.
"I would", said Nosedive, "But it's too much fun watching them."
In an instant the four figures were finally in the living room. And instantaneously WildWing and Canard jumped up and wiped their tears. You would have never known they were upset.
The mother was a bit portly and the father was bald, the two siblings were a boy and a girl. The boy was actually WildWing's twin, and apparently with a completely different agenda towards life. He had a whole tough guy thing going for him with a bandana and baggy black pants. The sister was short and fifteen just a year behind Nosedive. They easily looked like twins. She was cute red-head too in a tight mini-skirt, tight shirt, and high heels.
"MOM", exclaimed WildWing, "DAD! Bro, sis hey!"
The six ducks hugged each other.
"They seem nice", said Mallory.
"Just wait", replied Canard.
"Okay everyone", said WildWing, "I'd like to introduce you to my family. This is my mom, and my dad. And my identical twin BonusBeak, or Bones and my sister JoyRide or Joy. "
"Okay is it just me", asked Duke, "Or do they all have issues with their names."
"They're the family from hell", whined Canard, "What'd you expect, normality? HA! Well that's not fair of me. BonusBeak got his name because they weren't expecting twins, only one kid. So when he came out, he was a bonus baby, get it? And as for WildWing when he came out he was crazy; kicking everything, screaming or wild. And as for Nosedive, well he fell out of the doctor's arms as soon as he was delivered and miraculously lived from the "nosedive", and as for JoyRide well she was a very easy birth or a "joyride."
Duke laughed lightly to himself.
"Oh look it's Chunky Canard", said BonusBeak, "You lost weight!"
"Yes please don't mention it", said Canard shyfully.
"Hey Mrs. Flashblade look", said BonusBeak, "He got in shape!"
"Oh that's wonderful", said the mother, "You were so ugly as a child!"
"Um thanks?"
"Chunky Canard", asked Duke with a cocked eyebrow.
"Ever say that and I'll kill you", snapped Canard viciously.
"Whoa sorry dude", replied Duke.
"Nosedive", shrieked JoyRide, "I want food!"
"It begins", muttered Nosedive.
"Oh yes dear", said the mother, "That sounds lovely. I hope you didn't go through any trouble."
~Flashback~
"WE HAVE NO MILK", screamed Nosedive, "How am I supposed to make this without milk? Oh and no eggs! UGH!"
Nosedive ran out of the house to get the items at the store. He came back with black and blue's all up and down his back. Apparently there was one box of eggs left and he and some other kid wanted it and they got into a fight about it. Nosedive had won but man did it hurt.
Then when he had returned he had to constantly keep a look out for Duke was after his food.
"WHOA", cried Duke, "Look at all this food!"
He went to grab a chocolate chip muffin.
"Duke L'Orange", cried Nosedive, "I said out of my kitchen! If I catch you one more time trying to steal my food I'm going to use that butcher knife but not on meat, do you understand?"
~Reality~
"No Mrs. Flashblade", said Nosedive, "I didn't go through any trouble."
"Why not", asked the mother.
Nosedive smirked, "Hey everyone", he said, "You have to meet our teammates."
"Yes it was quite rude Wing", said the mother, "You should have introduced us properly. I brought you up much better than that."
"Yes Mrs. Flashblade, sorry. This is Mallory, Duke, Grin, and Tanya."
"Oh Mallory dear", said the mother, "It's not very feminine to have short hair. Oh and Tanya darling, you should try to wear more womanly clothes, instead of that suit."
"Heh", said the father, "You're giving tips on fashion, ha!"
"What", cried the mother, "I happen to be-"
"A pain in my ass", replied the father.
"Oh shut up you fool."
"That's nice", said the father, "But where's the food?"
"Oh stop it", said the mother, "We'll eat later."
"You can eat later, I want food!"
"Oh stop. WildWing, where shall I be sleeping?"
"In my room Mrs. Flashblade", replied WildWing. "And we weren't really expecting our siblings, so Dive and I will take the couch."
"I'm not sleeping with him", cried JoyRide, "I'm a girl!"
"Yeah but-", protested Canard, "I'm not giving up my bed!"
"Oh yes you are young man", said the mother, "Is this how I brought you up?"
"What", exclaimed Canard.
"Oh please you were always over at our house, I practically raised you."
"Emphasis on practically!"
"What was that dear?"
"I said let's eat!"
"I heard that", said the dad, "Show me da food!"
"Um actually", said Nosedive, "The appetizer isn't ready yet, so we'll have to wait a bit."
"Oh", said his mother disappointed.
"What's wrong Mrs. Flashblade", asked WildWing.
"I just thought my own sons would put in enough time to prepare something correctly. I guess I don't mean as much to you as I thought."
Nosedive's jaw dropped open. All he had done was cook for his family, cook and clean. The team had sacrificed their Phil free days on housework and now here comes Ms Thang telling the world that something isn't right.
"But Mrs. Flashblade", exclaimed Nosedive, "I haven't stopped cooking, or cleaning or, or, or,"
"We're sorry", groaned WildWing.
"Oh now that's what I wanted to hear", said the mother happily kissing her son. "And Nosedive are you sorry?"
"FOR WHAT", exclaimed Nosedive.
"Oh don't raise your temper, it's not very nice."
"You of all people are lecturing me on manne-, I'm sorry."
"Oh I love you!"
"Yeah yeah", muttered Nosedive.
"Where's the food", asked the dad.
"Not ready yet", said Nosedive.
"Why not", asked the father.
"Because that's my life", replied Nosedive.
"Okay whatever", said JoyRide, "I'm bored."
"That's nice", replied WildWing.
"Wing", she whined, "I want to do something!"
"How about killing yourself", suggested Nosedive.
Lucky for him no one except the team heard his comment.
Then the beeper buzzed.
"Ooh", said Nosedive, "That's the food, okay everyone go sit down, I'll bring the food out now."
"Bout time", said the father.
"Hey Wing", said BonusBeak, "Want to fight?"
"No", said WildWing sternly.
"Not an option", cried BonusBeak.
He tackled his brother on the floor and started wrestling with him. WildWing however showed no sign of fight.
"Oh you're not fun", said BonusBeak, "Come on Wing, do something!"
"No Bry", said WildWing, "Get off of me."
"Betcha you can't make me."
WildWing took his leg from behind and swooped over his brother, than quickly pinned him down.
"You'd lose that bet", said WildWing.
"Oh fine", pouted BonusBeak, "I'll go pick on Dive, he's always fun. Oh Nosedive!"
"Bones", said WildWing, "Leave him alone, come on."
"Yeah Bones", asked Dive, "It's wrestling time!"
"No", shrieked Nosedive.
He ran out of the room and into the kitchen screaming.
"Hold the racquet down", shouted the father.
"But dad", cried Nosedive, "He's going to kill me!"
"I don't care what the hell he does as long as he keeps it quiet", replied the father.
"Boys", cried Mrs. Flashblade, "Come to the dinner table."
"Thank you God", said Nosedive.
All of the members sat down to eat. The mother took it to her own liberty to serve all the courses of the meals.
Finally the main dish came out, with a side of muffins. Everyone was pretty much fill, but didn't want to insult Nosedive so they ate it anyway. However his father and mother were still hungry, along with the rest of the Flashblade family and kept on eating.
"Daddy", said JoyRide, "I'm thirsty. And I'm all out of Coke."
"Wing", said the father, "Deal with Joy."
"Come on Joy", whined WildWing, "You know where the fridge is."
"So do you", replied JoyRide, "Come on I'm thirsty!"
"WildWing", said the father, "Shut her up, and get her some water."
"Ugh", groaned WildWing, "Fine."
WildWing left for the kitchen as Nosedive stared at his other brother. BonusBeak continued to take his muffins and crush them into itty-bitty pieces, then take another and do the same. Nosedive watched in awe as his two-hour masterpiece was being smashed up. WildWing returned with a glass of water, which stopped Nosedive from saying anything.
"Here's your water", said WildWing.
"Ew", cried JoyRide, "It's tap, isn't it?"
"Yeah so", asked WildWing.
"I'm not drinking that!"
"Well that's not my problem."
"Daddy", cried JoyRide, "He didn't get me a drink!"
"WildWing go get your sister a drink", said his father.
"I did dad, but-"
"Zip it", said his father, "Right now I'm eating and I don't want to deal with everyone else."
"Fine", pouted WildWing who left to the kitchen once more.
So as WildWing left, Nosedive once more fixed his gaze on his brother.
"You know Mallory, and Tanya", said Mrs. Flashblade, "You're not getting any younger."
"Excuse me", said Mallory who had enough as she could take.
"I have three sons, why don't you two pick one of 'em", said Mrs. Flashblade. "I want grandkids! I want weddings! And like every good grandmother I want to be able to spoil the children!"
WildWing returned with the drink.
"EW Wing", cried JoyRide.
"What's wrong Joy", asked WildWing.
"How do you expect me to drink that", asked JoyRide.
"Like this", said WildWing, a drunk a little bit of her drink.
"EW", exclaimed JoyRide, "I want another drink! DADDY!"
"WILDWING", shouted Mr. Flashblade.
"I'm going, I'm going".
"I think you did a fine job of "spoiling your own kids", muttered Mallory.
"What was that dear", asked Mrs. Flashblade.
"Oh nothing", replied Mallory.
Once again WildWing returned.
"Do I look like a peasant to you", asked JoyRide.
"Come again", asked WildWing.
"It's called "ice", Wing, "ice". Maybe you should invest your time in it."
WildWing breathed in heavily, "I'll be right back."
BonusBeak continued to smash his food, and Nosedive's stare was fixed on it. But by now Duke sitting next to Nosedive, he noticed the problem. When he began to talk to Nosedive and got no response he looked at the teenager and saw the problem, but like Nosedive let it go.
WildWing once more returned.
"Here", said WildWing.
"Um actually I changed my mind", said JoyRide.
"What", exclaimed WildWing.
"Yeah I want a Popido."
"Joy", said WildWing trying his best to control his temper, "We're on Earth we don't have Popidos."
"So then make it", replied JoyRide rudely.
"How", exclaimed WildWing.
"You're beginning to annoy me with all of your problems", said JoyRide.
"My problems", said WildWing.
"How hard could it be", said JoyRide, "It's sugar, chocolate milk, and some spice."
"Yeah but-"
"Why are you still here", replied JoyRide, "DADDY!"
"WILDWING", bellowed Mr. Flashblade.
"Gone", said WildWing.
Now after eating a meal as big as this obviously the cleaning isn't going to be a one-minute job. But to make matters worse in that department BonusBeak decided to make himself more of nuisance. He picked up his feet and put them on the table and then started to crumble the food onto the floor.
Once again WildWing returned.
"Okay", he said, "I actually did it! I really made it, all by myself, even without the ingredients, Joy! I made you a perfect Popido!"
"Oh that's nice", said Joy, "But I'm kind of in the mood for something new, so grab me whatever you got."
WildWing wanted so hard to just staple his sister's mouth shut but knew that if he even did anything to her, like stapling her mouth shut he'd never here the end of it. So once again he left.
"All I'm saying", said Mrs. Flashblade, "Is that women like yourselves that represent a whole other nation shouldn't be dressing like you."
"Mrs. Flashblade", said Mallory on the verge of murder, "I handle very vital jobs in this team as does Tanya, all of which do not include dressing up for a prom every single day."
"Yes, but dear", said Mrs. Flashblade, "Sometimes hygiene should be considered."
"I'm perfectly clean", cried Mallory.
"It's nice to have a dream dear", replied Mrs. Flashblade sweetly while patting Mallory's hand.
WildWing returned.
"Here", he said, "It's called Pepsi."
"And it's called my glass", replied JoyRide, "Pour it for me."
WildWing opened the can viscioulsy and therefore making it spill all over him.
"WildWing", said JoyRide, "Hurry up with it!"
WildWing glared at his sister, but he poured her the drink.
"Ew", she cried, "I don't like this, give me something else to try."
WildWing obediently took the glass and Pepsi aggressively away from his sister.
"Divey Dork", said BonusBeak.
"Hey", said Nosedive, "Don't call me that!"
"Are you telling me what to do", asked BonusBeak.
"No", said Nosedive quietly.
"That's what I thought", replied BonusBeak, "Now what the hell is this?"
"Calamari", replied Nosedive, "It's an Earth dish, since they have a lot water here they have a lot sea dishes."
"What the hell is Calamari", asked BonusBeak.
"Squids", said Nosedive.
"What is a squid", asked BonusBeak.
"Um it's like a fish, kinda."
"Oh yeah that was helpful", said BonusBeak, "And what's this bouncy stuff?"
"Escargot", said Nosedive.
"English dork", said BonusBeak.
"Snails", replied Nosedive.
"EW", shrieked JoyRide, "I'm eating slugs?!"
"Well yes", said Nosedive, "But."
"Look it bounces", cried BonusBeak who began to bounce the food onto the floor.
"DADDY", screamed JoyRide, "He pulled a prank on me, he's always doing that, being such a bad kid!"
"Nosedive", said Mr. Flashblade, "Do I need to take my belt out?"
"I didn't do anything", cried Nosedive.
"It's still bouncing", cried BonusBeak.
WildWing once more returned with another drink.
"Here Joy", he said, "Is this acceptable for the princess?"
JoyRide took a small sip, "Ugh", she said, "I hate this, but I'm going to be nice and suffer through, because I'm a good girl, right Daddy?"
"You're daddy's little girl", said Mr. Flashblade, "But you don't have to be so brave."
"Brave", repeated WildWing.
"WildWing", said Mr. Flashblade, "This is the last time I'm going to tell you, get her a drink!"
WildWing through his hands in the air and left.
"Nosedive is playing tricks on me mom", cried JoyRide.
"Now Nosedive", said Mrs. Flashblade, "We don't want to end up like children in jail, now do we?"
"But mom", cried Nosedive, "It's fancy food, I prepared a fancy dish and-"
"I'm not hearing something", said Mrs. Flashblade.
"I'm sorry mom", said Nosedive.
"That's my baby boy", said Mrs. Flashblade.
Now usually Nosedive would have commented on the nick name, but he was too busy watching his food go up and down in one hand, and in the other watching it be crumbled into tiny pieces.
Now the entire team had sat quiet during all of this, because of the relations the brothers had with them, but it was getting to be ridiculous. They just kept waiting for someone to pop.
Once more WildWing returned.
"Here", he said, "Drink this."
"About time", said JoyRide.
"Do you like it", asked WildWing madly.
"Actually I'm not thirsty anymore", said JoyRide.
"What?!!!"
"But you owe me something", said JoyRide.
"What", cried WildWing.
"An apology for being so rude", replied JoyRide.
"WHAT", shouted WildWing as loud as he could.
"STOP IT", cried Nosedive, "STOP BOUNCING MY FOOD!"
"You want a drink", said WildWing, "Okay here you little monster, drink this!"
WildWing splattered the drink all over his sister.
"You see this", cried Nosedive who was now holding his brother's hand, "This is called food! You are supposed to eat this! But since you're having so much fun playing with it, I wouldn't want to spoil your fun, so allow me to enforce it. Here have some more toys!"
Nosedive dumped every dish he could reach onto his brother.
"HA", said WildWing.
"HA", said Nosedive.
The two stormed out of the room slamming the door. There was pure silence. But in sec the two returned.
They both took the remaining dishes left and carried them out.
"I worked forever on this", said Nosedive, "And I plan on eating it!"
"And I plan on drinking every type of drink possible", said WildWing.
And once more the brothers departed.
"That went well", muttered Canard.
"You know", said Mrs. Flashblade, "They get this from your side of the family."
"My family", cried Mr. Flashblade, "My family is filled with saints!"
"Oh really", said Mrs. Flashblade, "Well they don't get it from my family!"
The two began to bicker intensely so everyone just left.
So far, not so good. Can the Flashblade Family learn to be normal? Can everyone keep their sanity? Find out in the next chapter, coming soon!