HARD TO FORGIVE

Seeing Cha Sunwoo stand in front of me with his head down asking for forgiveness made something in me explode.

"That again? I'm not falling for it this time."

"But Byul-ah!"

"I've heard your apology speech so many times already."

"Please forgive me, Byul-ah."

"Don't say that," I said.

I paced around my living room angrily before sitting down on my black leather sofa. I fixed the unorganized stack of letters, school papers, and homework on my table. Then I stared up into the eyes of Cha Sunwoo, my boyfriend of a year.

"I'll make it up to you." He sat down next to me and rested his arm on my shoulder lightly. I shrugged it off.

"You forgot our one year anniversary. It's not that easy to forgive. I've been nice to you when you forgot our dates, and I even forgave you when you forgot my birthday."

"I'll take you out tomorrow to make up for it!" Sunwoo exclaimed.

My eyes bore straight into his, and I sensed nothing but truth. I found myself nodding before I could even think it through.

"Thanks, Byul-ah!" Sunwoo kissed the top of my head before walking out the door.

His personality baffles me. I messed up my hair in frustration. How did I manage to forgive him again? He doesn't even seem to try to get better.

I headed to the shower, already planning for our date tomorrow. I decided that I would wear a ¾ length sleeved white v-neck tee with skinny jeans. I hopped into the shower and let the warm water run down my back. Warm water always helped me think.

I shut off the water and changed into a tank top and basketball shorts. I threw today's clothes into the hamper and started drying my hair. When I thought it was dry enough, I put my towel away and got into bed.

Once I shut my eyes, I found myself drifting into dreamland. I've had the same dream for a while now, and I was pretty used to it.

I could only watch as I ended things with him once and for all. His apologies meant nothing anymore. They were empty promises of 'I'll do better next time'.

The next morning, I sat up in bed sweating. Nightmares did that to me.

I pulled myself out of bed slowly, and I dragged myself to the bathroom. Grabbing my toothbrush, I applied a pea-sized amount of toothpaste to it. I brushed every tooth carefully and even brushed my teeth again. Satisfied, I grabbed my hairbrush and ran it through my long, dark brown hair. I straightened it a bit, although my hair was straight in the first place. I styled my bangs and smiled in the mirror.

Once in my room, I changed into the clothes I had planned out the previous night. I grabbed my purse from my desk and put my wallet and cell phone in it. Sunwoo forgets his wallet on our dates a lot, and I wouldn't be surprised if I had to pay for everything today.

My doorbell rang, and I checked myself over in the mirror once more. My hair was all right, my clothes were fine, and I had extra cash in case of an emergency.

I pulled open the door and smiled at Sunwoo. At least he didn't forget our date this time.

"You look nice today," I said.

"Thanks."

I expected a reply of 'you too', but he didn't say anything. I shrugged it off because I wasn't a girl who cared as much about appearance.

He walked over to the driver's side of his Escalade and got in. I got in on the passenger's side and sat down. I immediately put on my seatbelt, and we were off. On our way to the shopping mall, I stared out the window. I took in the surroundings. We flew past buildings of many colors and people out for a morning walk.

"Hey Sunwoo oppa. You took off your hat today," I said, glancing over at him.

"I felt like a change," he replied.

We walked hand in hand to buy a snack. Sunwoo remembered his wallet, and I was surprised. He bought us a drink and some cake to share. My eyes lit up, and I stared at the dessert in awe. It was a creamy cheesecake with fresh strawberries at the top.

Sunwoo opened the drink and started to pour the drink into a cup. My instincts made me reach out to grab it, but he took it instead. I stared at him for a bit before pouring my own cup.

"Why aren't you eating?" Sunwoo asked.

"I'm not that hungry today," I replied.

"That's more for me!" he exclaimed, taking a bite out of the cake.

We ended up in a store full of cute bracelets and rings. I immediately went over to stare at the couple rings, while Sunwoo stood behind, staring at the bracelets. The storeowner saw my interest in the rings and took them out for me to look at.

"Thank you." I bowed to the owner and started looking at the rings.

One ring caught my eye. It was simple; a silver band with a heart on it. Its simplicity reminded me of the fact that things don't have to be extravagant to be beautiful.

"Oppa. Is this nice?" I held up the ring on my finger.

"Oh. It's pretty." He resumed staring at the bracelets. I sighed and took out my wallet. Pulling out some cash, I paid for the ring and walked out. Sunwoo followed, complaining about how he couldn't decide on which bracelet to buy.

The next store we went into was a shop dedicated to couples. There were couple tees, jackets, shoes, and so much more. Sunwoo and I decided to pick out something for each other.

He grabbed a pink tee and handed it to me. "I like this one." Then he looked around and grabbed a jacket off the shelf. "This one too."

I held the jacket and the tee, wondering if there were any of the same designs in another color.

"Oppa? What about…" I looked around, and Sunwoo was nowhere in sight. I looked around and saw him chatting with the female cashier. I put back the tee and jacket sadly, and walked up to Sunwoo.

"Let's go Oppa. I'm not in the mood for shopping anymore."

Sunwoo dropped me off at my home, and I walked in the house without a goodbye. I slammed the door and walked slowly toward my room. I put the bags on my desk before throwing myself under the covers.

As I got ready to sleep that night, I stared at the picture of Sunwoo and me at the beach. I remembered that I confessed to him that day.

"Sunwoo oppa, I really like you. Will you go out with me?"

"Y—Yes."

"Thank you, Oppa."

"Byul-ah! Sunwoo hyung! I'll take a picture of you," our friend Chanshik called out.

"One, two, three!" we both counted as Chanshik took the picture.

Smiling at that one happy memory we shared, I got into bed and closed my eyes.

"Hey Sunwoo Oppa. Do you want to come to my piano recital?" I asked hesitantly. I knew that he wasn't a big fan of classical music, but I had to offer him.

"What day?" Sunwoo replied.

"In a few hours," I said.

"I'm busy. Sorry."

"All right, Oppa."

I ended the phone conversation right there and threw my phone into the corner. He didn't even seem like he was sorry. He didn't even say 'I love you'. He's never said it to me.

"Sunwoo Oppa! I love you!" I exclaimed, making a heart with my hands.

"Thanks, Byul-ah!" He pinched my cheek and smiled.

"Do you love me back?" I asked.

"Of course," he said.

"Say the words then." I smiled, waiting.

"I…Hey Byul-ah! Should we get some ice cream?" Sunwoo suddenly stood up and ran to the ice cream truck.

"You didn't say the words…" I trailed off, but followed him anyway.

"Byul-ah!" a voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Oh! Chanshik!" I exclaimed.

"Byul-ah, I heard you have a concert today! I'll sit in the front row." Chanshik smiled.

"Thanks!" I smiled back.

"Oh. And the other boys said that they'd try to make it," Chanshik added.

"Not Sunwoo Oppa. He says he's busy," I said.

"No, Hyung isn't busy. He said he wasn't doing anything tonight," Chanshik replied.

"That's fine," I said shakily.

"Hey Byul-ah. Are you all right?" Chanshik asked, concerned.

"Of course, Chanshik. Maybe we'll see Sunwoo Oppa there," I said hopefully.

Chanshik grabbed my bag and sheet music and walked out of my room. I followed him, and I got in his car after he put my stuff in the trunk. We were silent for the first part of the ride.

"What song are you playing?" Chanshik asked.

"Yiruma's Kiss the Rain."

"Oh. I like that song."

"I do too."

Chanshik stopped the car, and I realized that we were outside. He handed me my music; I took it from him and walked inside.

The rest of the kids who took piano lessons were there already; I was the last to arrive. We started rehearsing. Some kids fumbled on the notes, and some ignored the dynamics. Others played their pieces perfectly, and I was one of them. I practiced the song every day after school ended, so I'd be able to play it perfectly by the time the concert came around.

After playing my piece, I was called up to the podium to thank everyone for his or her support. I wasn't expecting this, so I had to make up something on the spot.

"Thank you parents. Without you, we wouldn't have been able to come this far. Thank you Ms. Kim. Without you, we would have never shown an interest for the piano. Finally, thank you to the students. Without us, this concert wouldn't have been possible."

Walking off the stage, I saw Chanshik give me a thumbs up. I smiled and waved, but I also looked for Sunwoo Oppa. He was nowhere to be seen. My smile faded, and I walked back into the audience.

"He didn't show up, did he?" I asked Chanshik as our piano instructor dismissed the crowd.

"No."

"Did he call?" I asked.

"Sorry, Byul-ah."

"It's all right. I just wish that he'd come to support me sometimes," I admitted.

"The number you are trying to reach…"

I stared at my phone wondering why Sunwoo Oppa didn't pick up. If he wasn't busy, then he would've picked it up.

I called again, and I reached his voicemail this time. I hung up sadly. Then I tried texting him. Pondering the words, I slowly typed and pressed send. Staring at the message, I teared up a bit. Thinking to myself, I turned off my phone.

Sunwoo Oppa, I think we should end this.

CREDITS : kpopluvr18

SOURCE : *asianfanfics*