Reuven had asked me after synagogue that Shabbat if I would come back with him to his house. He said it with such a somber expression, and his eyes looked as if he were begging me. I asked him what was wrong but he didn't answer. Curious, I accepted his invitation, and we quickly walked the few blocks to his house.

We walked up the steps to the doors of Reuven's house. He took my hand in his, and pulled me swiftly through the door and up the stairs, blowing past Mr. Malter, with barely an acknowledgement. Reuven slowed down as he approached his room. I suddenly became aware of Reuven's sweaty palm against mine, and I wiggled my fingers to try and break free. Reuven looked over at me, a pink tinge gracing his cheeks. He dropped my hand quickly looking away, and walked into his room, ahead of me.

I watched him from behind. He was dressed in gray pants and a blue sweater. His slim body looked beautiful. It felt odd to think about him that way and beautiful was an odd word, but it fit him perfectly. I had the sudden urge to reach out and touch him.

Reuven slowly eased himself down onto his green rug at the end of his bed. He leaned his head tiredly on the foot of the bed and closed his eyes, until my presence roused him. I sat down next to him and gave him an odd look.

"You look stressed," I remarked quietly.

"I am stressed, strung out more like," Reuven muttered, kicking off his shoes. I watched as he clenched and unclenched his hands.

"Can I do anything?" I asked him, looking into his dark brown eyes for any sign of what was going on. He closed his eyes, as if sensing my probing.

"You probably could," Reuven started, "But I doubt you'd be willing." He said this quietly, almost as if I wasn't supposed to hear him.

"I think you'd be surprised what I'm willing to do for you, Reuven," I answered smiling, reaching a hand out to take his chin and lift it, forcing his eyes to meet mine. I watched as Reuven's lips parted slightly, his bright eyes open wide.

"Can I tell you something Danny?" he whispered.

"Always," I answered.

"I woke up this morning, and I just, I felt so lonely. So hollow. I think you know what that feels like Danny. And it occurred to me that all I really wanted was to touch someone. For there to be someone there next to me. And I was wondering…" he trailed off. My heart was pounding, my cheeks were pink, and my mind was racing with thoughts that I knew I shouldn't be having. I knew that I really shouldn't do what I was about to do.

But I knew how he felt. Those mornings when your body tingles with a want, a need. A fire blazes through your veins, and your chest aches from wishing there was someone in bed with you that you could curl into. I wanted him to know that I understood. I wanted him to feel better. And I wanted to ease my own pain just a bit. So I leaned forward, closed my eyes, and pressed my lips against Reuven's.

I felt him tense for a second, before relaxing and slowly leaning into me. A breath of air escaped his lips and he let out a small whimper. He opened his lips slightly and I started to deepen the kiss. I reached one hand up to hold his cheek as he leaned forward and pressed his hand to my hip.

I felt my heart jump and I pulled away quickly, his eyes searching mine. Nervously, he pulled his hand off my hip and used it to pull his knee to his chest cutting his body off from mine. The moment was over. I got scared, and I closed him off.

"Danny, I am so sorry," he said frantically. But I couldn't hear him. I didn't care to hear him.