A Mother's Christmas Wish
Disclaimer: No, I don't own anything but this plot.
AN: Yes, another one-shot by yours truly.
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"Hey, Mom! Where's the tinsel?" asks a young voice. I turn away from the oven to see my daughter surrounded by boxes of ornaments next to the Christmas tree.
"Check the bags your father brought," I tell her.
"Found it!" she yells and resumes the decorating of our tree.
She's a beautiful sight, bright blue eyes and short blonde hair… every time I look at her I think of you… I sigh and close my eyes. It was fourteen years ago I gave birth to two beautiful daughters… Rose and Marie.
Marie is in our living room, decorating and smiling as she listens to Christmas songs… and Rose… you are somewhere else. I don't know where. I bite my lip to keep the tears from spilling. Every day I look at Marie… I see her and I wonder about you. You were stolen from us on the day of your birth. You both looked the same, only a birthmark on your hand separated your looks. A birthmark of a dragon… it was that birthmark that made them take you away from us. I wish I knew why.
It's heart breaking when I think about it. I never healed from it and every year on your birthday and every holiday it gets worse. It was like they stabbed a hot knife into my belly when they stole you away and each holiday, each birthday, it twists even further.
The front door opens and your father and little brother walk in. Your father is wearing a silly red Santa hat and Joey, your nine-year-old brother, is wearing reindeer antlers and holding a grocery bag. "We got eggnog!" shouts Kevin, your father.
"Gross!" Marie groaned in disgust. How she hates eggnog, I wonder, do you like it or do you share her distaste?
Your father laughs and Joey runs into the kitchen and pulls out something from the bag. His green-blue eyes sparkle as he opens the box. "And fruit cake!" he yells as he grabs a butter-knife and cuts out a piece. He grabs it in his hand and smiles, "Oh, Marie!" he sings.
He runs at her and she runs away screaming, "Leave me alone, you dweeb!"
Both blondes run through the kitchen and into the basement, your father laughing louder than our son. "Would you stop it?" I yell exhaustedly. I'm not in the mood for their antics.
"C'mon, Christine, let them have fun," your father tells me with a smile. He is so light hearted and I can't figure out why. Has he forgotten you? How can he not think of you? How does he go on every day and not cry at night thinking about his lost daughter?
I go into the living room with a heavy heart. I pull out two ornaments, one saying Joey's First Christmas and the other Marie's First Christmas… there isn't a Rose's First Christmas. I sigh as I put them on the Christmas tree. Kevin places a comforting hand on my back. "You have to move on…" he tells me.
"I'm not like you," I spat in disgust. I'm afraid your father's and my marriage is standing on its last leg. He sighs and sits on the couch and turns on some sporting event. I'm not like him; I won't forget my child and I won't let you go.
I do pretend to be happy for Marie and Joey though. You see, they don't know about you. Your father and I could never bring ourselves to tell them. How could we? Parents think it's hard to tell their child that they're adopted… they should try telling their children that their sister was abducted at birth.
I continue putting the ornaments up. I wonder how you would act with Joey. Would you run from him like Marie? Or would you be one of those sisters who would beat on him? Are you girly or a tom boy? Do you have long hair or short hair like Marie? Do you leave your hair curly or do you straighten it like Marie? Do you have piercings? Marie has seven, four in her right ear and three in her left…
What do you do for fun? Do you like extra-curricular activities? Do you like to sing? Marie has a beautiful voice; I can only imagine you do too. She wants to become a famous singer, what do you aspire to be?
Are you being loved where you are? Are you treated well and affectionately? Where are you? Who are you with? Are you even alive… or are you… dead?
"Mom!" screams Marie.
I look at your father and he holds his hands up to stop me from speaking, "I'll handle it."
I love your sister and brother very much. But I can't just focus on them, how I wish I could have you with me. Every year Marie will ask me, "What do you want for Christmas, Mom?" I have to bite my tongue from answering, "Your sister."
I smile and act happy whenever we eat dinner and I open my homemade gift from Joey and some necklace from Marie… but they're not what I want. I only want you… not diamonds from your father… just you.
Your father tries his hardest to save our marriage. It's part of the reason we had Joey. We thought another child might replace you… it didn't. The three of them walk into the kitchen. Marie goes into the bathroom to take shower; I see bits of cake in her hair. Joey washes his hands in the sink and comes in to help me with the tree. I look at him; the lights are shining off his almost platinum blonde head. No, he didn't replace you, but I still love him all the same.
Sometimes I wish I could move on and get over what had happened, I tried to when Marie was still a baby, but I couldn't. I can't.
I still think of you. I want to see you. I, at least, want to know if you're happy where you are, if you're alive, if you know about your family…
Damn it! What was so special about that birthmark?? Why did they take you from us?? Why didn't your father fight them when they stole you away?? I get so angry and frustrated when I think about it! When I think about you…
Lately your sister has been noticing that I'm not as happy as I pretend to be. I can see it when she looks at me with concerned eyes. She's always asking me if there's anything wrong. I just stare at her when she asks. How can I tell her why I'm so miserable? I can't, so I tell her nothing's wrong. She doesn't believe it; I see her doubt written across her face whenever she says okay.
Your brother's still blissfully unaware.
What do you do for Christmas? Do you ever wonder about me as I wonder about you? Who is taking care of you? Why did they take you? I have so many questions… none of which will be answered, I'm afraid.
I swear if I ever see those people again, I'll kill them. I swear I will, I'll make them pay for taking you away from me! I can only imagine how many other families those people—and I use that term loosely—had torn apart.
Fourteen years, fourteen birthdays, fourteen Christmases… you should be here. You should be with your family, you should be gossiping about boys with Marie, you should be ganging up on Joey with Marie and you should be helping us with decorations…
We should be together. Your father and I should know our own daughter. Marie should know her twin. Joey should know his other sister. Your father and I shouldn't be fighting like this. We should be a family. I should be happy.
But that's not how it is. Things turned out wrong… what did I do to deserve this heartache?
If only Christmas miracles were true, this would be the time for it. All I want for Christmas is you, Rose. I can't think of anything I'd want more. Only you and as long as I live, I will always remember our short time together with you in my arms.
I miss you…
I want my little girl back…
I hear the water turn off and Marie comes out in her light blue nightgown. She sits down next to your father. Joey and I finish the tree and sit down with them. Joey puts in his A Muppet's Christmas Carol.
I wish you were with us.
That's my only Christmas wish… I pray silently for a miracle… that you could come home.
Well there's that. I hope you liked it. Please review.
Cat