Don't own any of these characters or Law and Order.

I'll See You Everyday

Alex put the phone down frustrated. Busy signal. Well, maybe he took the phone off the hook to sleep. Ha. Sleep. Or. He didn't realize what he was doing and knocked the phone off the hook by accident. He had called her this morning to tell her he wasn't going into work today.

"Eames, I've got a splitting headache, I'm gonna stay home today."

"It's all those books you've been reading Bobby. One of these days you're gonna have to let go of your vanity and actually get a pair of reading glasses". She smirked

"Yeah. Whatever for that. Anyway. So. I won't be in."

"OK. Did you call Ross, or are you leaving that lovely task to me?"

"I left him a message."

"OK. I'll call to check in on you later."

"OK"

"Bye Bobby".

"Bye Eames...Alex?

"Yeah?"

"Nevermind. Have a good day."

And that was that. Now here she was, not having heard from him all day, and his cell went right to voice mail. She was still thinking about where he could be while sifting through her mail when her doorbell rang. She looked through the peephole and the man flashed his badge. FBI.

She opened the door and stared at the man in front of her.

"Alexandra Eames?" He asked

"Yes."

He flashed his badge again and said "I'm Dan Hartman. FBI. May I come in?"

"Yes, but, is this about a case...I mean shouldn't we be talking in my office or something?"

"No. No case. This is about your partner. Robert Goren."

Alex went pale. "Is he...what happened..where is he..Why is the FBI involved..."

"Detective Eames. Please. Sit down. Goren is fine. Fine in the sense that he's alive and well."

Alex motioned her hands for him to sit down. And he did.

For the next 45 minutes Alex stared blankly at the agent as he went into detail about why he was there. All she heard was "Bosnian mafia...out of jail...revenge killings...Goren would be next...and finally Witness Protection" He went on the explain everything, best he could and waited for her questions. Ofcourse, they were obvious ones:

"Where have you taken him?"

"I really can't say."

"Can I contact him?"

"No"

"Ever?"

"No"

"Will he be back"

"Probably not"

"Ever?"

"Ever."

"Does anyone else know?"

"Yes. Your captain. And You. And that's it. We've set it up so it looks like Goren was murdered in a car bomb. No body. Just witnesses who will swear it was him."

He proceeded to open his briefcase and handed her a thick manilla envelope. She took it from him her hand shaking the whole time. She didn't ask what it was so he cleared his throat.

"We don't usually do this, but, Goren helped us out with a matter in the past, and we felt we owed it to him. He requested that I hand deliver this to you". When Alex didn't move, he stood to leave. He turned his back on her and as he was leaving she asked ;

"How long did he know about this?"

"What? That he was going into protection? About three weeks".

She nodded silently.

She sat back down on the couch. Suddenly, events from the past three weeks played out before her like a slideshow. Things that seemed fairly normal, but perhaps a little different than usual. Like two weeks ago. They were sitting at their desks, finishing up some paperwork when Goren suddenly put his pen down. "Hey, Eames?"

"Yeah?"

"Ever been to the Rainbow Room?"

She snorted. "Oh yes, Bobby. All the time."

"Really?"

"No. Not really you idiot. Why?"

"I just thought...well.. You wanna go? With me? Saturday?" He was blushing a little and her heart fluttered.

"Well...sure. But I mean, why the Rainbow Room? What's the occasion?"

"Let's just call it an early birthday present for you and a thank you dinner for all the crap you've put up with for me."

"Do we get to get all dressed up and fancy?" She asked hopefully

"You bet. Pull out all the stops."

And they did. It was a wonderful night. They danced, and drank champagne and Alex was dizzy from the whole experience. And at the end of the night, Bobby kissed her hand and her cheek and walked her to her door. She had to restrain herself from pulling him in with her.

This couldn't be real, she thought. No, no. She shook her head, willing herself to come out of this nightmare that had invaded her mind. She continued to flash back, to last Tuesday:

"Eames" He sounded so serious

"Goren." Alex dead panned back.

"Did you ever take care of that vent problem in your attic?"

"What..oh, no, I actually forgot until you just brought it up. Why?"

"Well, I was just thinking, that thing is rusty, and it could be dangerous if it rains and you put the air on and...I want to come over and fix it tomorrow after work. Ok?"

"Ok Bobby. If it'll make you feel better." She rolled her eyes at him

"It will."

Not only did he fix her vent, he went around her house fixing everything he thought needed work. He re-insulated the corking around her windows. He put up shelves in her pantry. He even went under her sink and fixed a leak that was barely leaking.

She shook her head. Did she think that was strange at the time? No, no. She thought he was just being Bobby. Obsessing over every little thing. Taking care of her every chance he could because he still held that guilt over Jo Gage.

Her mind continued to race.She thought back to the biggest tell of all. How could she not have realized something was up? It was a normal work day, about a week ago:

"You know, the Captains exam is coming up in about a month."

"So?" She asked, not looking at him.

"So, ..I think you should take it."

This made her look up and squint at him.

"I've told you a million times, Bobby. I don't want to be part of the brass. Ever. I like being here. Working as a Detective First Grade. With you."

"Still...I think you should take it."

"What is with you Goren? Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you take it?" She smirked

"Oh, yeah, I think the Chief of D's would have a stroke if he even saw my name on the list. Besides, I think that whole "Tates suspension" kind of ended that. "

"Well, if you could be Captain, would you?" She wondered out loud

He put down his pen and stared at her. "I would never willingly leave you, Eames."

She balked at his serious tone. "Well then, I guess we're stuck with each other. OK?"

"OK". He answered

What time was it? She knew it was dark out. She hadn't put any lights on in the house, and realized she must've been sitting in the dark for hours. Suddenly, she had an overwhelming need to hear his voice. She frantically dialed his cell, but instead of his voice, his message, she was told that the number was no longer working. She quickly picked up her cell and tried to retrieve her messages...there must've been a message from him over the past few days. She JUST NEEDED TO HEAR HIS VOICE. But there were no messages. Would she never hear his voice again? She stood up quickly to go throw up when the envelope fell out of hands. She sat back down on the floor and with shaky hands, she opened it. There were many things in the envelope and among them a beautiful diamond engagement ring fell out. She knew that ring. He had told her about it. About Frank giving it back to him. About it being his mother's. She just stared for minute at the ring on the floor and made no move to pick it up. She opened up the folded pieces of paper on top and began to read:

Dear Alex,

By the time you read this, I will be long gone. I don't know where I'm going, and if I did, I wouldn't be able to tell you.

There are so many things I want to tell you. Things I thought I would always have time to tell you, but life has a funny way of throwing a wrench into even the best laid plans. You'd think I would have learned that lesson a long time ago.

While I would never want to be so presumptuous as to compare myself to your husband Joe, I cannot help but feel that I have an opportunity here, that he never did. I get to say goodbye to the woman I love, and have loved for so long. I get to tell you that your friendship and strength has sustained me through the worst times in my life. The fact that my heart is being ripped out now is only made better by knowing that you loved me too. And I do know that Alex. We never said the words, but I know. And if you feel for me even half of what I feel for you, than I know that this is probably a blow that you think you will not survive. But you will. Because I am telling you that wherever you go in your life, you can be sure of one thing. I am somewhere on this earth, the same earth as you. We are breathing the same air. Somewhere, you know, that you are the first thing that I will think about every morning when I wake, and the last thing I will think about every night before I sleep. For the rest of my life. Wherever I go. It will be you.

There is a box, in my apartment that I have labeled with Lewis's name. Please give it to him. I have left him some childhood pictures and mementos, things he will appreciate. I have left the apartment to you. Please sell it, and give a portion of the proceeds to him. It is my way of thanking him for being a true friend to me for all these years.

Alex, I have left you everything else. When all is said and done, you should be left with a fairly decent amount of money. I have one request, however. Please don't save all of it. I'd like you take some fantastic vacation, to some of the places I always dreamed of showing you. Go to Paris. Visit Italy. See Alaska. Treat yourself . I would have treated you like a queen if I had been able to take you there myself.

Now, the ring. The ring is yours, from the moment it was in my hands, it was always to be yours. In my dreams, I gave you that ring a long time ago, and you accepted it. I know that if in reality, you ever really did accept it from me, it would have fit you perfectly. I never had it sized. I just knew. Everytime I would see you with the ring my heart would soar, because I know it meant you were mine. That was my dream, but you don't have to wear it. I just like knowing you have it.

I love you Alex. Everyday, every hour, every minute, every second.

One more thing. Be happy.

All my love,

Bobby

She dropped the letter and sobbed until no more tears would come. She wondered if anyone could actually feel their heart breaking, because she knew hers was splitting in half.

One year, three months later...

"James, this package just came for you." The elderly woman handed the envelope to her boss

"Thanks, Adele" The man smiled. "Close my door, would you?" She smiled back and closed the door.

He opened the thick white envelope. No letter was included, but he knew it was from the Agent.

Carefully he pulled the photographs out. To the normal eye, they were just pictures, of no one in particular.

But there she was; looking up at the Eiffel tower. There was another picture of her taking a gondola ride in Venice. And another of her strolling down a street somewhere in Greece. Some others were included, one of her with her nephew on the beach on the shore. Like the others, that one had been taken from a distance. But for this one the photographer had obviously used a telephoto lens. It was a closeup of her laughing, her hair blowing in the wind, holding her nephew over the water, and as he looked closely he noticed something and his heart leapt.

On her left hand was the most beautiful diamond ring, and it fit her perfectly. As he knew it would.

-fin-