Elena sighed heavily as she sank down on the edge of yet another motel bed.
Moments later; her head came up sharply as the door to the motel room swung open and her best friend entered the room.
"Did you get it?"
Bonnie gritted her teeth at her friends' abrupt tone and for the hundredth time reminded herself that Elena wasn't being deliberately rude, she was just tired and worn thin from their recent travels.
"Yeah, I got it..." she hesitated. "Well, when I say I got it... I got the ingredient, I'm just not sure how much help it's gonna be" she added.
Elena ran her hands restlessly through her hair. The urge to pull on said locks in sheer frustration barely held in check.
Bonnies' lips thinned and the expression around her eyes tightened as she watched her friend bite down on her lip in an obvious attempt to control her emotions.
"Look Elena. This is the sixth spell we've had to dig up stuff for. Maybe it's time you faced the fact that Damon just doesn't want to be found. It's been nearly five months and he has to know someone's tracking him."
At Elena's blank look Bonnie threw her hands up in her own gesture of frustration.
"C'mon girl... this is Damon. You know he'd have traced the spells by now. He's gotta know it's me."
She sighed heavily as a closed off expression settled on her friends face at her words.
"He obviously doesn't want to be found Elena. Not if he hasn't come looking for us by now." She finished gently and not without pity.
"God Bonnie! Don't you think I don't know that?" Elena snapped, her frustration breaking free at the others words and tone.
"I won't give up on him Bonnie. I can't. All those times he didn't give up on me. All the times I pushed him away and hurt him... he never gave up. And I'm not about to give up now after barely five months" she ground out, rubbing her eyes in a desperate attempt to stave off the tears that threatened.
"I'm a vampire now. I have forever and if it takes forever for me to find him then that's just the way it's going to have to be. I screwed up because I was a stupid idiot and if I spend the rest of my life chasing Damon down... then it's nothing more than what I deserve."
"Oh Lena..." Bonnie sighed coming to sit down next to her friend.
Pulling her into a one armed hug she leant her forehead against the others temple and squeezed her friends shoulder in sympathy.
"I don't know what to say... I know you think you made a mistake choosing Stefan that night in Matts truck and I understand why you think you need to do this, but I don't think beating yourself up over this is the way to go. As much as I don't like Damon even I can see that he must have been pretty devastated to take off the way he did." She admitted hesitantly.
"Are you sure it wouldn't be better to just let him go Elena? What if he's moved on by now? Are you going to be able to handle it if we do catch up with him and he's found someone else?"
Tilting her head down, Bonnie tried to catch her friends' teary gaze.
"Maybe the best thing you can do for Damon to show that you love him... is to let him go".
Elena shook her head vehemently.
"No! Bonnie I can't... not without seeing him again. I need him to know that I love him and that I'm sorry. I need him to know that this time it's my turn to fight for him. My turn to let him know that even if it's not right now... it's still right."
Elena shook off her friends' gentle grasp and stood.
Turning to face her she steeled her resolve.
"Can you please just do the spell this one last time? I won't ask you to do it again, or to keep travelling with me after this. I know you have a life to get back to and you've been great about helping me... I'm really grateful for that. But I'm not going back to Mystic Falls until I've spoken to him. Not until I've made him understand what he means to me."
Bonnie groaned internally before nodding resignedly.
"Okay Elena. I'll do the spell. I doubt it's gonna work, but I understand why you need to try." she offered doubtfully.
"One thing though. I didn't want to mention this before, but I got a call from Caroline earlier and she's pretty sure Stefan is looking for us."
Elena frowned.
"What...Why? I've said everything I need to say to Stefan. Why would he be looking for me now?"
Bonnie only shrugged before shaking her head.
"I don't know Elena. Maybe he's heard from Damon... who knows. Care just said that he was heading our way and he seemed pretty determined."
"Shit!"
Elena scrubbed her hands through her hair.
"Great. That's all I need."
Pushing her hair back over her shoulders she gathered it up carelessly and used the elastic band on her wrist to secure it in a loose ponytail.
"Okay then. Let's get this done so we can get out of here. I'm really not in the mood to hear anything that Stefan has to say. I heard enough the day we left."
Bonnie winced remembering the fight that had evolved between Elena and her ex when Stefan discovered that Elena was planning on chasing Damon down.
It hadn't been pretty and things had been said that made Bonnie hurt for both of them.
Elena, unsurprisingly, found herself seething with resentment at the thought of Stefan looking for her. He'd been angrier than she'd ever seen him the day of herself and Bonnies' departure from Mystic Falls'.
His blind certainty that it was her new vampire nature that was making her believe it was Damon that she loved, had been a real eye opener for her. And his total inability to see that his brother was worth loving had made Elena's blood boil.
Stefan had honestly believed that he just needed to give her some space and she would come to her senses and go running back to him. He couldn't understand that the only confusion she had about her feelings, stemmed from why she hadn't understood that she was in love with Damon while she was still human.
She'd tried to tell him that her being a vampire had done nothing more than make her feelings for the two brothers a whole lot clearer. That what she felt for Damon was much more intense than anything she'd thought she felt for him.
And ultimately, it didn't matter what Stefan wanted or if he found them or not. She was going to find Damon no matter what anyone wanted and when she did, she was going to stick with him until he understood just what he meant to her.
And yeah okay, she had to admit that he was doing a pretty good job of not being found, but she knew him.
There was no way Damon wouldn't eventually come and find her... even if only to yell and to tell her to go home. And that's all she'd need. She didn't care how pissed off he got; once she was with him she wasn't letting him out of her sight again... not for anything.
Unbeknownst to both Elena and Bonnie, Damon was much closer than either of them would have dreamed. In fact, for the last hour he'd been sitting across from the hotel in car that he'd taken great pains to make sure no one would look at twice. And as both girls might have guessed; he was not a happy vampire.
"Crap! What the hell are those two up to now?"
Damon gritted his teeth and tried to resist the urge to kill something.
It had been barely two days into his impromptu road trip when he'd felt the first tingle of someone's spell.
At first he'd shrugged it off as his overworked imagination and tried to tell himself that he was just being his usual level of paranoid.
But a week later he'd been buried in the warmth of a tasty blond barmaid and her equally tasty blood, when the same but slightly more intense feeling had come again.
Knowing instinctively that his paranoia was actually justified and that someone was indeed tracking him; Damon had left a happy but somewhat anaemic barmaid behind and gone to seek help from a witch that owed him a favour or two.
The witch had confirmed what he'd already pretty much guessed. Elena and Bonnie were tracking him, but he couldn't for the life of him work out why.
The fact that it was just the two of them also had him stymied.
If it was something to do with the usual shit that followed Elena around like a plague, then surely Stefan and at the very least Caroline should have been with them. But after watching them for the past week he'd confirmed that the two girls were very much alone.
So why the doggedness? What was so important that Elena had Bonnie tracking him at all? And far more worryingly; what the hell had she said to judgy that convinced her to agree to their merry little scavenger hunt?
In the five months he'd been gone Damon had done a lot of thinking and a lot of very intense denial about the afore mentioned thinking.
He'd been righteously pissed the day he'd left Mystic Falls and most of that had been directed at Elena.
Unfortunately he'd found that his level of anger had dropped in direct proportion to the amount of distance he'd put between himself and said woman.
He'd had to keep reminding himself repeatedly of her, 'I never un-fell for him' speech, just to keep at a sustained level of anger that guaranteed he would not turn the car around.
Even then he'd found himself lingering in the good old U S of A, when he should have been strolling the streets of Europe long since.
Why the hell couldn't he stay angry at her? And why the fuck was she here testing his every resolve to stay the hell away from her?
He knew the smart thing to do would be to just start the car and head as far away from Elena Gilbert as possible.
Unfortunately a big part of him; the part that was used to protecting her at the expense of everything else; that part was worried spitless that something really bad must have happened for her to be seeking him out this way.
Well crap! They were at it again.
He could feel the spell shivering across the back of his neck, even as he thought about going to their room and just getting it over with.
Part of Damon (what he liked to think was the sensible part) urged him not to risk it. That going in there, would undo all his hard work in moving on from her.
The other part (the honest part) was just plain terrified that he would go in there and find that nothing had even changed; that he was still as whipped as he ever was and the last five months hadn't changed a damn thing.
Even that last day; as mad as he'd been he'd still loved Elena; he'd just finally had enough of being treated like the second string. And yes, he understood that she didn't mean to be deliberately cruel. It wasn't her fault she loved Stefan; it was just the way things were. The way things had always been.
Of course the fact that she'd told him that it wasn't Stefan that she wanted, that it was Damon she was in love with; that had also been playing on his mind.
At the time he'd believed that it was pure panic over his sudden decision to leave that had prompted her out of the blue confession. He'd even considered it might have something to do with her attraction to him being heightened by her new vampiric state.
They'd always had chemistry; even if Elena had done her best to deny it. But he wasn't so deluded to believe that her attraction to him was in any way the same thing as love.
Surely by now she'd had time to reconsider her hasty words... she loved Stefan and it was Stefan she'd chosen only moments before the accident.
Crap. Why the hell did he keep going around in circles?
He'd been so sure that leaving was the right thing for him to do... the only sensible option left to him. Never mind his agreement with his brother.
So why when it came to Elena couldn't he just hold on to the surety he'd felt that last day in his room?
Frustrated with his circular thoughts, Damon was about to start the car and relocate to the nearest bar if only to think things through without the temptation of her presence, when he belatedly registered the newest car that had just pulled into the motel lot.
Fanfuckingtastic. It seems his little brother was not out of the picture after all.
His hands tightened on the steering wheel as he watched Stefan exit the car.
However, the expression on his brothers' face had him sitting up and leaning forward in sudden confusion.
Stefan looked furious. And it wasn't his usual constipated 'I'm angry but I have it under control' look.
Unless Damon was very much mistaken, this was pure ripper fury.
Alarms started going off in Damon's head.
What the hell had happened in Mystic Falls after he'd left?
The last time he'd seen that particular expression on his brothers' face was when he was busy being Klaus's little boy toy.
Swearing softly to himself, he watched as Stefan stormed towards the room that Elena and Bonnie now occupied.
When Stefan started pounding on the door and Elena opened it only to be shoved backwards into the room, Damon's' confused thoughts gained a crystal clear clarity.
Throwing his car door open, Damon headed towards the still open door of Elena's and Bonnies' room.
When Elena opened the door, only to have Stefan shove her backwards she was shocked to say the very least.
The shock lasted about a millisecond before the anger kicked in.
"What the hell do you think you're doing Stefan?" she snarled.
"Who do you think you are? Bursting in here like some sort of Neanderthal. I told you to stay away from me the last time I saw you. In what way wasn't I clear?"
Out of the corner of her eye she could see Bonnie's worried expression and she knew instinctively that Bonnie wouldn't be any help; not so soon after doing the tracking spell.
"I'm here Elena because I've officially had enough." He stated arrogantly.
"I've given you time to come to your senses and realize that you made the wrong decision when you decided to look for my brother. But since Bonnie here hasn't managed to convince you to come home and admit that you were wrong, then it was time I came and found you myself."
Bonnie felt herself gape at the haughty certainty in Stefan's voice. Alarms went off in her head. There was something very wrong about this whole situation.
Sure, Stefan had been deep in the land of denial when Elena had told him about her intentions regarding his brother; and yes there had been some harsh words exchanged between the two ex lovers. But this attitude of his was beyond ridiculous.
And very unlike the Stefan they all knew.
Elena shook her head in disbelief.
"Are you delusional or what? I told you we were over. I told you that I'm in love with Damon. How much clearer do you think I needed to be Stefan?"
Stepping forward she glared at him, her hands tightening into fists by her side.
"Go home Stefan... I don't want you here."
"Too fucking bad Elena" He sneered, glaring back at her.
"You chose me... you said it was always going to be me and then you ripped my heart out less than two days later. I know that this isn't you and I sure as hell know that the old Elena didn't love my brother. So I'm here to make sure you come home so we can fix this. So I can help you remember that it's me you love."
He advanced and Elena stepped back hastily and with more than a little alarm at his out of character behavior.
'Klaus says there's a cure... And yes Bonnie, he's still in Tyler's body."
Elena shot her friend a confused look at that statement.
Frowning distractedly when Bonnie paled under her scrutiny, she turned her attention back to Stefan.
"What do you mean Klaus is in Tyler's body. Klaus is dead?" She said warily.
Stefan ignored her; turning his attention to the witch he smirked knowingly.
"Yeah Bon what about that; just when were you planning on telling Elena about your little body swap deal. Or were you going to keep it secret from her just like you did with Caroline?"
His expression twisted into a sardonic parody of concern as he continued to address the witch.
"Tsk tsk Bonnie, Caroline is going to be very unhappy when she finds out that she's been snuggling up to Klaus for the last five months... as a matter of fact I'd be betting she's going to be pretty mad with a certain witch." He offered shaking his head in mock sympathy.
Bonnie frowned at his tone, her own anger rising at his words.
"Jesus Stefan. Do you think I have a death wish or something? I told Caroline what I'd done as soon as I realized I'd be going on this little road trip. What the hell is your damage anyway?" she rolled her eyes at his expression. "And FYI, my little body swap saved your ungrateful ass; a fact that you would probably know if you'd bothered to talk Caroline."
Elena was confused, but it didn't stop her from being angrier at Stefan than Bonnie; regardless of what she had or hadn't done. Bonnie she trusted; but after his harsh words and weird behavior she wasn't so sure about Stefan. And speaking of angry?
"Stefan, would you either explain what you are actually doing here or just get the hell out. And while you're at it what do you mean Klaus says there's a cure?"
Damon had arrived at the door just in time to hear the word bodyswap. This in his book was a phrase that never led to anything good. Since the occupants of the room hadn't yet noticed his presence, he decided that discretion was the better part of valor and ducked out of sight.
Positioning himself to the left of the doorway and out of their line of sight if any of them looked towards the still open door; Damon decided to do some judicious eavesdropping before taking any further action.
Stefan scowled at Elena. This was all Damon's fault and yet she was mad at him? Well, let's see how much she liked his brother after he finished telling her Klaus's news.
"The cure Elena is a cure for vampirism and you need the cure, so you can be human again and not sired to Damon."
At his latest pronouncement Elena and Bonnie glanced at each other worriedly, before turning their attention back to Stefan.
Damon however clenched his fists and fought the immediate urge to barge into the room.
Sired... What the fuck?
"Okay Stefan, rewind a bit will you. Coz I think you missed something there... Like the beginning and the middle and anything resembling sense" drawled Elena sarcastically.
Bonnie sensing the way things were heading just from her friends tone, decided that she better step in before the shouting started again.
"Stefan. What did Klaus tell you and why do you think Elena needs saving?" She inquired calmly.
"Because I have to say, we've been on the road for months and nothing unusual has happened. Hell, we haven't even had a single flat tire, so I'm a bit confused about the whole danger thing. And are you saying that Klaus has a way to make Elena human again?"
Stefan glared at Elena. Her blatantly skeptical noise obviously not appreciated. Trying to tamp down his urge to shake her he deliberately returned his attention to Bonnie.
"Yes Bonnie you heard right. Klaus has a way to make Elena human again and the reason she's in danger is because when Meredith Fell gave her the blood after her fall, it was Damon's. Klaus believes that the reason Elena is so adamant about finding Damon is because she's sired to him... like Klaus's werewolves, but apparently a whole lot stronger... he..."
"Wait" Elena cut in. "You're telling me that you came looking for me because Klaus told you to? That he told you I only think I love Damon, what, because he's my sire?
Elena's eyes narrowed. Her demeanor and tone was laced with skepticism as she studied her former boyfriend.
"Since when did you listen to Klaus, Stefan? Because the last time I checked he was all about the killing and less of the talking." She folded her arms and frowned, before throwing a quick look in Bonnie's direction.
"I don't know what Klaus is up to Stefan, but I will say one thing; even if there is a cure for being a vampire I wouldn't trust it... not if it has anything to do with Klaus. And just for the record, I don't want to be human anymore."
Stefan gritted his teeth at her words, his fists tightening at his sides in an effort to control his rage.
"Well that statement just proves that you're sired. The Elena I knew never wanted to be a vampire, she would rather have died than to become like me." He ground out.
Elena dropped her arms to her sides and advanced on her ex.
Anger at his words overcoming her earlier wariness, she stared into his eyes as she spoke.
"The Elena you knew... don't make me laugh. That Elena was a stupid idealistic child that didn't know what she wanted. But you are right about one thing Stefan. I wouldn't have wanted to be a vampire like you and I definitely wouldn't have become one for you either... but you are not Damon."
Damon's jaw dropped.
He'd been stunned by his brothers words; mostly because he couldn't believe that Stefan was that stupid.
Why in the hell would he believe anything that Klaus had to say in the first place and what was up with the way he was acting towards Elena and Elena's decisions. Stefan could be a dick, but he was a dick that always allowed Elena to make her own choices and mistakes; drowning in Wickery River being a prime example.
The Stefan currently facing down Elena and Bonnie was not the brother he knew. And Elena's insinuation that she wanted to stay a vampire because of him... Yeah okay, that one was gonna need some clarification all right.
Mind made up; Damon stood and entered the room.
Elena startled as the man she'd been searching for for five months casually strolled through the open door. It was only the warning look in his eyes that stopped her from throwing herself into his arms.
"Well well well. What do we have here? Its quiet the little reunion you've got going on here Stef. So what's the occasion, coz it's a little early for my birthday" Damon drawled sarcastically.
Stefan whirled to face his brother and the rage on his face was more than enough to make Damon tense expectantly.
"You... What are you doing here Damon. Fuck! I should have known you'd still be stalking her. You're pathetic Damon; I knew that your leaving town was too good to be true that it was just another one of your games." He snarled.
He advanced on Damon, his fists clenched hard enough for his nails to cut into his own palms.
"I'm going to give you one chance to leave Damon and I suggest you take it. Elena is coming home to Mystic Falls and if you try to interfere in that, I will fucking end you this time."
Damon frowned at the expression on his brothers' face and then he shrugged.
"Yeah... Well that's not happening... not in anyone's lifetime."
With a blur of motion that even Elena and Stefan were hard pressed to follow, Damon shot forward. In one swift movement, he grabbed Stefan by the throat and snapped his neck.
Standing over his brothers' body he frowned again before raising his eyes to fleetingly meet Elena's.
A quick glance Bonnie's way took in the look of confusion on her face, before once again focusing on his brothers' unconscious form.
"Okay. I don't know what the hell is going on here, but that is not the little brother I love to hate. Would either of you two like to tell me what the fuck is going on?"
He shot a calculating glare in Bonnies' direction, not yet ready to lock gazes with Elena again while he was so off balance.
"And while we're on the subject, you can tell me what's up with the damn tracking spells witchy poo?" he demanded.
"I'm getting pretty sick of calling in favours to keep you off my back, so unless you want me to find a more permanent solution. I suggest you explain very very quickly, before what little patience I've got runs the fuck out."
Bonnie scowled at his not so subtle threat, but strangely enough it was Elena that it was directed at.
Elena rubbed her suddenly sweaty palms against the side of her jeans. Shooting Bonnie a pleading look, she ignored Damon's questions in favour of one of her own.
"Bonnie, can you find a way to keep Stefan out for a while so Damon and I can talk?"
Bonnie's eyes narrowed before glancing at Damon, but the desperate hope in her friends eyes made her nod reluctantly.
"I can do a stasis spell, but I'm not sure how long I can hold it, so try to be quick, okay."
She turned to Damon.
"And you... play nice, or I will melt what little brain you have left. We clear?" she demanded with a hard stare.
Damon's mouth tightened at her threat, but he answered with his own brief nod.
Elena moved past him towards the car park and after shooting one last look at his brothers' recumbent form, he followed.
Less than three minutes later, Damon reluctantly followed Elena through the doorway of a nearly identical room on the other side of the hotel.
Locking the door behind him, he turned to face her.
Elena chewed nervously on her lip as she tried to get an idea of what was going on in his head.
His expression was closed off and his body language was not much better.
Still, that didn't stop the sudden flutter at the pit of her stomach when his eyes met hers.
God she had missed him.
Despite her brave words to Bonnie and her own determination, she'd been starting to think that she might never see him again, not unless he wanted her to. And it looked like she'd been right to worry. He had been blocking Bonnies tracking spells and knowing Damon he'd known where to find her well before his unexpected arrival in their room.
She had to wonder; would she have even seen him at all if Stefan hadn't shown up out of the blue in the way that he had?
"So Elena... you wanted to talk, so talk. You can start by telling me what the hell that was with my baby bro?"
Damon crossed his arms and scowled.
Elena swallowed hard and sank down on the edge of the bed.
It hit her abruptly that finally after all these months; she was actually going to get the chance to tell him everything.
Clearing her throat to get rid of the sudden lump that had formed, she tried to think where to start.
"To be honest, I have no idea what's up with Stefan."
She shrugged.
"Today is the first time I've laid eyes on him in nearly five months and to be truthful, at the moment he's the last thing on my mind."
She searched his face, hoping to see the Damon she knew looking back at her, but his expression barely shifted apart from a carefully raised brow.
"I told you the day you left that I had ended things with Stefan and that hasn't changed; whether you believe it or not. I really don't know what's gotten in to him and frankly at the moment, I don't actually care that much" she offered, tone matter of fact.
"I've pretty much spent the entire time since you left just trying to find you. I needed to tell you that I know I hurt you and that it's okay if you're still angry with me... that it doesn't matter because I'm not going to give up on you... or us" she confessed, her heart in her throat.
"I love you Damon and now that I've found you, the only way you're going to get rid of me is to stake me." She finished defiantly.
Damon stared at her in disbelief.
He shook his head and tightened his mouth over painfully gritted teeth.
What the fuck?
"Let me get this straight" he said, taking in that stubborn look he knew far too well.
"You're telling me that you've spent the better part of five months looking for me, so you can tell me you love me and that you plan on stalking me until I either give in... or kill you?" he asked his tone incredulous.
"No... Not the better part of five months Damon... the whole five months. From about ten minutes after you left... if you want to be precise"
He blinked.
"I told you that day that I was in love with you... Did you really think that I would be any less determined than you would have been in my place? I may have been a prize idiot and pretty blind with it, but you never gave up on me and I'm not giving up on you" she explained, her eyes boring in to his.
"I don't give a crap about Klaus and his games. And even if mother Teresa turned up with a cure, I wouldn't take it. Like someone once said...If you want to be with someone forever, then you have to live forever..." she shot him a determined look before continuing.
"And...I'm good with that. You Damon are a vampire, ergo... I will be staying a vampire; cure or no cure." She crossed her arms and waited for his reaction.
Damon's eyes narrowed.
"Hold on here Elena, you want me to actually believe that you, the girl who hated the thought of being one of us, is all of a sudden okay with the whole creature of the night routine?"
He eyed her sceptically.
Elena sighed heavily.
Pulling the elastic from her hair she scrubbed her fingers through the loosened tresses and tried to control her frustration.
"I know that it seems to be a bit of a leap Damon, but if you had actually listened to me before leaving town, you would have known all this months ago."
She cleared her throat nervously.
"After I woke up as a vampire a lot of things became a whole lot clearer for me. Which I tried to tell you right before you left" She reminded him with a pointed look.
"One of those...the true reason I didn't want to be a vampire back then... was that I couldn't see myself being with Stefan for my whole life; never mind eternity."
Seeing the frown on his face she stood and moved close enough to reach for his hands.
To both of their surprise Damon let her.
Gripping them between hers, she squeezed them gently before capturing his gaze with hers.
Her expression softened at the confusion in his.
"When I remembered the two times you'd compelled me, at first I was furious. But that lasted about the minute it took for me to have a life changing epiphany" she admitted with a wry twist of her lips.
"All that energy and time I'd wasted in convincing myself that it was Stefan who I wanted, even knowing that I'd never choose to turn for him" She sighed. "Well, all that confusion over my feelings finally made sense the moment I understood why I'd resisted what I felt for you."
She stroked the back of his hands with her thumbs as she continued to meet his gaze.
"You may have wiped my memory of you, but you didn't wipe the emotions I felt for you the night we met. And that emotional connection stayed with me, but because I had no reference for my feelings I didn't trust it... or you."
Elena raised her hand and cupped his cheek.
"Once that memory was back... everything I felt for you fell into place. It was like finding that missing piece of a jigsaw puzzle." She explained.
"God Damon! You'll never know how glad I was to be a vampire in that moment. And it was that realization more than anything else that made me finally admit what I'd been running from while I was still human."
She bit her lip in a desperate attempt not to cry at the memory of how she'd felt when Damon's compulsion had lifted. So many times she'd nearly lost him and but for a stupid series of accident's she might still be ignorant that there was anything to lose. The most terrifying part of it all was that if he had died in one of his various attempts to save her life, she would have lost everything without knowing about it until it was too late.
She shuddered at the thought of it.
"I was falling from the moment I met you... I fell in love with you Damon, only it was fear that had kept me from seeing it. Fear of how strongly I felt for you without knowing why and being terrified that if I gave in to those feelings I'd lose my humanity." She closed her eyes briefly in remembered pain.
"I wanted what you'd said you wanted for me that night so bad that even with the memories gone there was still this yearning ache inside me that refused to be buried."
Stroking his cheek gently with her fingertips, she held her breath as she watched the confusion flicker in his eyes.
Damon frowned.
"I don't understand Elena, are you trying to tell me my compulsion somehow made you run from even the thought of us?"
"Yes Damon... well sort of. It wasn't so much the compulsion, it was the fact that I had met you and didn't remember it. I had all these strong feelings for you and you weren't exactly the poster boy for good clean living there at the beginning. So I couldn't understand why I felt the way I did when I met you at the boarding house and that just made my barriers go up. Even when I started to see you change and finally saw who you were beneath the snark and violence, I still didn't trust my feelings... so I ran away from them."
Looking into his eyes Elena could see the doubt, but she also thought she saw a spark of something else.
"Then when I remembered what you'd done the night we met Elijah, it banished every last doubt I had left. You loved me even back then and instead of pushing me to admit that I was attracted to you... you let me go."
Her mouth curved in a wistful smile.
"Even back then I think I must have recognized subconsciously that you were dangerous to me in a way I didn't want to face. What I felt for you the night you rescued me from Elijah frightened something in me, because looking at you made my heart ache and I didn't understand why. So as usual I did what I always do when I feel threatened. I denied feeling anything and told myself it was my imagination. That I couldn't possibly feel anything for you, because Stefan was the only one that I could ever feel that way about."
Her other hand joined her first to frame Damon's face.
"You said to me once that 'That it's right. Just not right now'. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that if it was just up to me it would be right now and forever. And even though I'm in love with you... this time it's all up to you. If it's not time for us yet, I'll wait... like you did. Just don't send me away Damon. Please." The plea in voice matched the one in her eyes as her she continued.
"I've lived without you for five months and it's felt like so much longer than that. If I have to I can do it but please just give me a chance to prove..."Her words dissolved into a shuddering sob.
Pulling her hands back she hid her face in them and tried to get control over her shaky emotions.
Damon watched the girl in front of him abruptly break down and every wall he'd managed to build against her crumbled with her tears.
He pulled Elena Gilbert into his arms and covered her mouth with his. And for the first time in five months Damon felt like he'd come home.
Elena gasped against his mouth as she felt Damon's open, his tongue tracing the curve of her top lip. A moment later when he nibbled gently on her lower lip, she felt her heart soar and her legs tremble.
"Damon" She sobbed, her relief overwhelming her as she felt his lips curve against hers in a smile.
Damon pulled back slightly and met Elena's gaze. Her eyes still welled with tears, but they also blazed with emotion that made his breath hitch in his chest.
"God Elena I've missed you so fucking much." He admitted without a moment's hesitation.
"I tried to stay away but I couldn't do it anymore. Tell me this is real, that I'm not dreaming."
His forehead came to rest against hers as he fought his own tears.
"Tell me you meant what you just said", he murmured against her lips.
"Oh Damon. Yes Damon I meant it, of course I meant it. I love you I want you. There's nobody else for me... not ever. I'm never leaving you... I never want to be apart from you like that again." Elena rushed out.
"God! I was so scared I'd never see you again, that I'd never get to tell you how much I need you... how much I missed you. These last few months have been the worst of my life. I don't know what I would have done if I'd lost you for good" she admitted with another choked off sob.
"Shhh don't cry sweetheart." He soothed
"I'm here and nothing in the world is ever going to make me leave you again. I love you Elena Gilbert and I plan on spending the rest of our lives showing you just how much."
And with those words he pulled her flush against his body and set about proving it with everything he had.
Hours or minutes later, they surfaced when Elena's phone abruptly reminded them that time was something that they had a limited supply of.
Mouth swollen and her head dizzy with joy it took Elena a moment to remember why answering her cell was important.
Looking down at the display Elena swore even as she answered it.
"Hey Bon, What's wrong?"Her alarmed expression immediately reminding Damon that even getting your heart's desire didn't guarantee that your day still wouldn't turn to shit.
Bonnie's voice came in loud and clear.
"Elena, Stefan woke up. And I couldn't stop him from leaving. He was furious when he realized you'd left. I've never seen him so angry and I actually had to hurt him to stop him from attacking me. I don't know what's going on with him Elena, but I suggest you and Damon leave the getting reacquainted until later because there is something seriously wrong with Stefan and I don't know if I can hold him off if he decides to come back."
Elena's eyes shot to Damon's. He frowned at Bonnies words before giving a nod to indicate agreement to her unasked question.
"We'll be there in two minutes Bonnie. Lock the door just in case he comes back and if we aren't back in five you get your butt in the car and get the hell out of there, okay?"
Bonnie chewed on her lip nervously before reluctantly agreeing to Elena's demands.
In truth, Stefan had frightened the hell out of her when he'd come round only to find that both Elena and Damon had disappeared. She'd seen how out of character he'd been acting when he first turned up, but nothing had prepared her for the pure rage in his expression when she'd told him she had no idea where the two of them had gone and wouldn't have told him even if she had.
She'd seen Stefan high on blood and icy with the need for vengeance. But she had never seen the Stefan that had looked at her with death in his eyes and it had frightened her worse than any of Damon's blackest bouts of violence.
This was not the Stefan that she knew in any form and she couldn't understand what had made the normally reasonable guy that she knew, turn into every ex girlfriends nightmare.
Something was very very wrong with Stefan Salvatore and she didn't have the first clue about what it might be.
They had all known he'd been devastated when Elena broke up with him and yes, he'd been furious when she'd told him she was leaving to look for Damon. Nevertheless like Elena, Bonnie had assumed that given some time and distance he'd get over it; that
the reasonable and compassionate Stefan that they all knew would return.
Apparently they'd been wrong.
Moments later Bonnie nearly jumped out of her skin when the doorknob rattled. And it wasn't until she heard Elena call her name, that she finally admitted to herself that she'd really and truly been scared for her life.
When barely twenty minutes later Elena's SUV pulled away from the motel Damon was behind the wheel with Elena snuggled up against him and a very relieved witch gratefully tucked away in the rear seat.
Headed towards Mystic Falls with Elena tucked under his arm Damon found himself thinking that home was exactly where he wanted to be and that he really wouldn't have it any other way.
Now if he could just work out how to kill Klaus without pissing off Caroline and wiping out his bloodline... and then somehow fix whatever was wrong with Stefan his life would be very near perfect.
He smirked.
Oh what hell... at the very least he wouldn't be bored.
Chuckling to himself he flipped on the radio and foot nearly to the floor Damon set his mind to the challenges ahead and the troublesome town he would now and forever call home.