Blair Witch Project: Wal-Mart Edition
Disclaimer: I own nothing in the story except the idea. My P-I-M-P does. Pimpin in the club ma. (It was ALL her idea. Almost. WEEEEEE! I WORK AT CHUCKIE CHEESE!)
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"Let's do the chicken roll!" I screamed as I walked into Wal-Mart. Just then Gaara walked up to me and said, "Hey Sakura baby, I'll do the chicken roll with you anyday. Just give me the tme and place and I'll be there. If I'm not already with you. "
I looked at him with my piercing good looks and said in an emotional voice, "Now hang me out to dry! Hammer time y'all! Uh-oh, uh-oh! Break it down like a white guy!"
He looked at me and said, "Sweet moves baby! DANCE OFF!" Then all these disco lights came out and people started to break dance. The lead singer from Reggie and the Full Effect came out and did the frog swim on the floor. Suddenly everything was gone.
Gaara leaned against the check out counter and said, "What did you think babe? Pretty hot huh? I gotta get out of these sweaty clothes." He pulled them off and there was another outfit underneath. A skankier one than he was already wearing. "Let's go do a gift registry." I agreed. On one condition. He had to use sand to press the buttons. On me!
Just as he began I started crying. "What's wrong baby? Don't you like it?" "It's not you. It's me." I began. "I cry because I suck. And I suck because I cry. FIND YOUR INNER EMO!!!!!!" I cried out.
Gaara grabed the innercom mike and sang, "Let me help you out of your chair, Grandma!" then he death-metal sang, "GRANDMA WHAT WAS IT LIKE?!?" then he whispered, "rolling on the floor, eating a dead fetus."
I looked toward him and ran to him. "I LOVE YOU!" he looked and said, "IT'S OVER!!!" and then...
HE BETCH SLAPPED THE SHAT OUT OF ME!!!!! and sang, "Shoes. Shoes. STUPID BOY. OH MY GOD, SHOES! LET'S PARTY!" then he was in a purple spandex jumpsuit doing the robot. I went to the back and stapped my wrists with a straw untill I died.
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HAHA! Sakura was an Emo Poser. She should DIE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! I WILL NOW STOP THE STORY SO I CAN KILL MYSELF FOR WRITING IT!!! GRANDMA!!! I'M COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!