The Age You're Above
Hermione writes a heartfelt poem to her beloved professor on the last day of school. Little did she know that Minerva would keep the poem until she returned to Hogwarts as the newest Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor. Rewrite/continuation of my story "Age You're Above" under the pen name Dylan Mikayla Jordan. Rating for later chapters.
Disclaimer: As always, the characters in this fan fiction and all other things Harry Potter belong to J.K. Rowling. I have simply created a new story to place them in for my own (and hopefully others') amusement.
About The Story: I wrote the poem this story is based on and even began writing this story back in 2004 after developing feelings for one of my social sciences professors. I was unable to recover my old account to continue the story, so I have created a new account and reworked/edited the original chapter. I love reviews, even scalding ones… so please let me know what you think of my work. I realize that I don't have the best track record for updating, so I won't make any promises that I may not keep. Suffice it to say that I will do my best to keep it going this time as I really do want to tell this story. This is a slightly alternate world where Dumbledore was not killed. He is one of my favorite characters, so he remains for my own writing desires. Obviously this is an F/F romantic pairing so don't bother reading it if that type of thing bothers ink stained hands trembled ceaselessly and salty tears flowed violently down my cheeks at the thought of the week to come. When faced with a sea of emotions that I did not want to confront I would most often select a book and pour myself into studying to seek solace. Regrettably I have found that, tonight, there is no book that can comfort me; tonight there is no knowledge can quench this thirst of mine.
Slowly and with great distress I stumble out of my four-poster bed and snatch my wand off of my oak nightstand. Just barely balancing and avoiding stumbling into the shadows I whisper, "Lumos," and the tip of my wand produces an ever-so-soft white light; it is just enough light so that I can find my way to my supposed safe-haven. Once I reach the shelf, I delicately run my fingers over the bindings taking in the subtle difference in the feel of each spine until I have found the leather surface. This is the one I was seeking. I pull the small, flimsy journal from the shelf and tip-toe down the stairs from the girls dormitory to the Gryffindor common room. I pull all of my focus to this endeavor to ensure that I do not wake one of the other girls and thus be forced to endure an endless series of questions. Fortunately, the common room is always empty at this hour and I will have some semblance of peace to begin my work.
Once I have taken my seat near the fire I lay the worn journal across my lap, open to a blank page of parchment near the middle, and pull the over-used quill from frizzy hair. My left hand will not keep steady while quickly transcribing the feelings racing through my mind and the ink from my quill smudges across the page. "These are the last words of mine that she will ever read," I think as I do my best to keep the words from blurring beyond recognition.
On this night sleep shall not transverse my eyes;
Yet why cannot I find the world of dreams?
This night is full of sorrow and of sighs;
Yet my tears shall not be for what they seem.
From a fog your figure comes to haunt me;
A robe black as night and piercing green eyes,
Long flowing hair, but you're so hard to see.
Your image is blurred by all of my lies.
Now I've come to hate being around you;
I love your presence, but I hate my fears.
You're locked in my heart, if only you knew;
Many nights have been spent crying these tears.
It is not right, but it's you that I love.
So many barriers I cannot pass:
The ring on your finger, age you're above;
Even if I did, it could never last.
I know you can't love me, this I do see;
Yet stay out of my mind, let me go free.
Minerva, I am so sorry. I cannot help that I love you. Please forgive me. - Hermione Granger
When I had finished scribbling my name at the end of my confession I carefully tore the single page parchment from my journal. A tear plummeted from my cheek and onto the letter as I folded it into a heart shape and kissed it, my thoughts lingering on the eyes that so often pierced into my very soul. I could not deliver my letter yet, as there was still one week remaining before I would leave Hogwarts forever. Yet I vowed to myself that on that last day, I would not hesitate.
"'Mione… Wake up 'Mione!" I could feel cold hands on my shoulders as she attempted to shake me awake, but I was not asleep. The sharp sting in my eyes and the throbbing in my head reminded me that I had stayed up for hours sobbing softly to myself after returning to my room. I had no desire to participate in the festivities that would be occurring during the week. I was glad to be graduating, and I was proud of my accomplishments, but I was leaving someone behind. No, I wasn't just leaving someone behind; I was leaving her behind. Even if she could not love me, that one thought hurt and pierced me deeper in my heart than any other feeling I had ever experienced.
Begrudgingly I managed to pry myself out of my bed. My best friend needed me to participate in this morning's events; she needed to see me smile at the festivities and enjoy myself. I didn't want her to worry, mostly for selfish reasons. If she worried about me, I would have to answer questions; questions that I was not yet ready to face. I dressed quickly in my school robes, not bothering to attempt to tame my wild hair. When I had finished, Ginny practically pushed me down the dormitory stairs and pulled me along as she sprinted to the great hall, determined not to miss any of the end-of-year speech.
Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, the greatest headmaster that Hogwarts had ever known, stood solemnly at the high table scattering his gaze across all of his students. When he spoke, his voice boomed through the hall with great ascendancy. "Each year we gather here in this great hall to say goodbye to some of our fellow students. Many of you will be leaving through these castle walls for the very last time this Friday, and to you, I wish the best of luck in all of your journeys. We have been privileged to follow you these last seven years and we look forward to hearing of the incredible things that you do in the years to come. Don't forget that we will be holding parting ceremonies and an evening banquet this Friday followed by the Hogwart's Express departing just after midnight."
When Dumbledore had finished speaking I abruptly rose from my chair and darted back to my room while the rest of the Gryffindor's finished breakfast. I knew that the daily chatter from Ron and Harry would be enough to keep Ginny busy. She has thrown a questioning look in my direction as I left, which made me feel badly for abandoning her, but I could not bring myself to sit in that room a moment longer. I knew I could fight back the tears while looking longingly into those piercing green eyes across the hall.
The final week of classes had flown by faster than a Firebolt and in no time at all I found myself facing the evening that would end with me walking away from everything that I had known for the last seven years. Most of the students had dates for tonight's events but I had refrained from asking anyone to accompany me to the end-of-year ball. Even though it would be much more difficult to attend alone, I knew she would be there. No one that I could take would be happy accompanying a date that would not dance. "No," I thought, "I will likely end up reading in a corner, whimpering occasionally if she glances my way. It may be best to avoid her all together."
Pulling myself from my musings I managing to quickly dress in my best robes. I crammed the last of my belongings into an overly stuffed suitcase, shoved the letter into my pocket, and ran to meet Ginny, Ron, and Harry in the common room. "I will give this to her tonight, no matter what it takes," I resolved. "What took you so long?" the trio shouted in unison as I reached the bottom of the stairs. Struggling to regain my composure I retorted, "A woman must always look her best." Harry and Ron guffawed as Ginny grinned. Hopefully that would be enough to convince them that there was nothing wrong beneath the barely held together surface.
As with all Hogwarts celebrations, the entrance to the hall was extravagantly decorated. Flags and garland in class colors adorned the walls, floating globes and candles provided gradient lighting for the festivities, and small enchanted fireworks exploded with the highs of the music playing in the background. I could only imagine how much magic it had taken to create such a magical event. When we entered the hall a rush of music boomed into our ears and we all turned to each other to grin. This was the beginning of the last night of our lives as students of Hogwarts, and it would be a night that none of us would ever forget.
The ball had been wonderful so far. I had enjoyed a quick dance with Ron and Harry, spoken with Dumbledore about continuing my studies, and sampled what seemed to be dramatically enhanced punch, but there had still been no sign of her. For the last few hours I had simply lingered near the professor's table helping the house elves serve small sandwich triangles as it was helping me to avoid any further requests to dance. Suddenly, like a bolt of lightning that you catch in the corner of your eye, I saw her; she was the most elegant witch that I had ever laid eyes upon. She had enchanted her robes to sparkle and shimmer like millions of tiny diamonds, and her hair had been freed from its ever present bun cage to fall like water down her back. I felt my breath catch in my chest and my heart flutter as I took in the sight of this angel.
Realizing that she was headed towards the professor's table, I quickly turned on my heels and dashed towards the entrance to the hall. I had been successful in avoiding her thus far, and was hoping that I would be able to leave before she could see me. Just as I was about to reach the entrance I heard "Miss Granger!" and froze in place at the sound of her voice. I turned and caught her eyes as she said, "Miss Granger, I need to discuss some things regarding your end of year marks with you. Do you have a moment?"
Still waiting to regain the ability to move my legs, I stood frozen in place watching her walk towards me. Time felt like as if it had slowed to a stand still. When at last she finally reached me, she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a tight embrace. I felt the familiar sting in my eyes as tears began to well and threatened to resume their cascading dance across my face. I knew this was my only chance, so I reached into my pocket, grabbed the letter, and slipped it into the sole pocket on the right sight of her dress robes. When she let go of me, she softly whispered, "I will truly miss having such a bright and talented student, such a wonderful friend as you Miss… I mean, Hermione. Please, do not fall out of touch." Hearing my name roll off of her tongue increased the threatening push of the tears in my eyes. I barely managed to half whimper in reply, "Thank you for your kindness professor. Your teaching and your friendship have meant so much to me over the years. I will never forget what you have done for me." As quickly as my voice trailed off, I turned to leave. As soon as I was clear of the hall I sprinted out to the train to take my seat and drifted off to sleep waiting for the midnight departure.
The train platform was crowded as every Hogwarts professor had come to see their students off, and she was no exception. I glanced out of my window and saw her standing just a few yards from where I had taken my seat hours before. As she glanced up at me and waved, she placed a hand into the pocket of her robes. A look of surprise played across her face and panic filled my chest as I realized she must have found the letter. "She was not supposed to read the letter until I was long gone from here!" She slowly pulled the now crumpled heart-shaped parchment from her pocket and with the greatest care unfolded it to read. I saw her eyes gloss over as she read my words while the train began to rumble preparing to pull away from the school grounds. I glanced back at her in hopes of catching her eyes one last time and as I looked I saw a single tear trickle down her pale face while she waved goodbye once more.
- 5 Years Later -
I walked through the gates into a place I had not seen in what felt like an eternity. My nose filled with the all to familiar scent of books and brick as I walked towards Albus Dumbledore, who was waiting to greet me. "I cannot thank you enough for such an amazing opportunity, Headmaster." "Please, Hermione, call me Albus. After all, we are colleagues now," he grinned. "Yes, sorry… Albus… that one will take some getting used to," I mused. "It will be no time at all Hermione! I am so glad that you were willing to take the position teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts. I do know how dedicated you were to your studies, and I think it is quite the understatement to say that the students will be blessed to have you." "Thank you, Albus, again. Thank you so much for considering me." "You are welcome, Hermione. I trust that you can find your rooms. Leave the unpacking for tomorrow, you look exhausted. I will be sure to have dinner sent up for you." With that he smirked and seemingly skipped off down the corridor.
Attempting to shrug off the Headmaster's odd exit, I slowly meandered down the long corridors that I had traversed so many times years before. My eyes worked quickly trying to take in all of the familiar sights as if they were treasures long since forgotten. I could not believe that I was back here, in this place, in what felt like my home. My memory of the castle's layout was fuzzy at best, so it did take me several tries to find the rooms that I had been assigned. When I had finally found them, I said the key "Lemon Snuckle," and the doors slid open revealing a wonderfully extravagant suite. The walls to the main room were adorned with reds, blacks, and golds. The front room appeared to be an office, and was filled with a beautiful carved wooden desk, shaded lamps, and rows upon rows of shelves filled with more books than I could count.
I felt at peace and wanted to explore my new quarters, but my body quickly reminded me that sleep was what I so desperately needed. After my long trip here and my anxiety at returning, I had very little strength remaining. I walked to the back of the office and opened the slightly hidden door to my bedroom and glanced over to a roaring fireplace providing the perfect amount of heat for the small space. The flickering flames gave soft light to the familiar four-poster bed that I longed to fall into.
As I half walked, half crawled into bed, I caught a glimpse of green and black in the corner of my eye that did not match the décor of the room. Fear froze my body in place and I slowly turned my head to face the sight. "It's her!" I panicked to myself. The woman that had haunted so many of my dreams over the past five years was sitting in a black velvet chair, sipping from a flowered tea saucer. I could smell a hint of lavender as her fiery green eyes gazed into mine, and I could see the intensity in them increase as she whispered carefully, "Hello Miss Granger. So nice of you to return after all of these years." Her voice perked, "Won't you have some tea? I do believe we have quite a lot of catching up to do."
- To Be Continued -