Goodbye, a glee fanfic

This is a reaction fic to 4X06. I know that this wouldn't happen and Blaine would never do this, but I still wanted to write it. Reviews are always appreciated whether you liked the story or not. You can also check out my other stories by clicking on my username. Enjoy! I don't own Glee.

"Kurt I need to talk to you."

"I'm not interested."

"Look.. I never told you about what happened. The guy that I hooked up with, I need you to know everything."

Kurt turned to look at him, "What are you going to tell me? That it wasn't serious? That you didn't care about him?"

"I didn't care."

"Do you think that matters to me? Relationships are about trust. And I don't trust you anymore. I was stupid to come back here. Rachel was right. This isn't home anymore." Kurt turned and walked down the hallway towards Rachel and walked out the door.

Blaine stood in the hallway staring at the door he just walked out of when Sam and Tina came up behind him.

"Hey Blaine! Want to head over to Breadstix with us and celebrate our great review?"

Blaine looked down and blinked the tears away, "Uh.. no. No I'm just gonna head home."

He grabbed Tina's hand and pulled her in for a hug and then did the same with Sam.

"Okay... we'll see ya later?"

"Maybe."

Blaine walked away and missed the weird looks that they gave each other.

Tina turned to Sam, "What do you think that was all about?"

"I don't know, but I'm worried."

When Blaine got home he saw a note from his parents saying that they were gone for the weekend. He slowly made his way up to his room and got out a paper and pen and sat to write his goodbye.

When I first saw you tonight backstage, I thought I was dreaming. I didn't know if I would ever get to see your beautiful face again. I was filled with so much hope thinking that you came so we could talk and maybe try to work things out. But then I noticed that you weren't speaking or really even looking at me. I tried not to cry. I tried not to let it get to me during my performance. Then I saw you out in the crowd and I stumbled on my lines and I really felt like my world was crumbling down around me. I tried to talk to you in the hallway, but you wouldn't listen. I was trying to be honest with you and you brushed me off. I guess I deserved it. Maybe this letter is the only way to get you to listen, but by the time you do, it will be too late. I know you said I broke your trust, and I did. And I'm sorry for that and I will always regret hurting the one person I love and the one person who really loved me. Now that you don't love me anymore, I really don't have anyone. I went there with the intention of sleeping with him. I went into his house and he kissed me a few times before I ran out. I tried to call you on my way home, but surprise surprise, you didn't pick up. After seeing you tonight I finally realize that you don't want me to contact you anymore, so I won't. I promise you won't have to worry about me anymore. I won't be texting you to say I'm sorry and that I love you. I won't send you anymore gifts in the mail. I won't be calling just to hear your voice on the voicemail anymore. It will be like I never existed. I love you more than you will ever know Kurt. I'll be watching over you. I hope you find someone who makes you happy someday because you deserve all the happiness in the world. You deserve someone who isn't as messed up as I am. Good luck at Vogue. I know you will be a great designer. You once said "I will never say goodbye to you" so I guess I will do the job for you. Goodbye Kurt.

Blaine left the letter on the desk and started to walk away when he heard his phone ring. He saw Sam was trying to call. He hit ignore and turned off his phone setting it next to his letter.

Sam and Tina were entering Breadstix when when Sam tried calling Blaine, "Tina, he isn't answering his phone. It rang twice and went to voicemail."

"Let me try." She grabbed her phone from her pocket and dialed Blaine's number. "It went straight to voicemail. He turned off his phone."

"You don't think he would do anything drastic, would he?"

"I don't know.. he did act really strange when we talked to him in the hallway. And the weirdest thing is, he hugged us goodbye."

"And when we said we would see him later, he said 'maybe'."

"We need to get over there! What if he tried hurting himself?"

They ran to the car and started the drive to Blaine's house.

"Call Burt. I don't think we should handle this type of situation on our own. And he lives closer to Blaine, so he can get there faster than we can."

Tina dialed Burt who answered on the third ring. "Hello?"

"Mr. Hummel, it's Tina. This is an emergency and I would explain, but if I do, it could be too late!"

"What are you talking about? What's going on?"

"We need you to get to Blaine's house as fast as possible. We are on our way, but you're closer. Sam and I think he might be trying to hurt himself.. or maybe even.."

"I'm on my way."

Blaine went into his closet and found a long rope that he was going to use when he thought he was going to be a cowboy for Halloween. He grabbed the chair from his desk and stood on it and tied the rope around the bar in his closet. Before he finalized everything, he wanted to make sure he had the love of his life with him. Blaine got down off the chair and grabbed his Kurt scrapbook and set it on the shelf in his closet.

"I love you so much Kurt and I'm so sorry for everything."

He got on the chair and stared at the picture of Kurt and then kicked the chair away. He kicked his legs in pain and felt tears go down his face until everything turned black.

Burt had just found the hidden key under the doormat and entered the house when he heard a thud from upstairs.

"Blaine? Blaine are you here?"

He ran upstairs and to Blaine's room and saw a long letter on the desk. He then turned to see his son's ex-boyfriend hanging from a bar in his closet.

"Oh my God! Blaine!"

He ran over and lifted Blaine higher to try and get the pressure off of his neck. Just then, Tina and Sam arrived and ran into the room. Burt didn't notice until he heard Tina scream behind him.

"One of you two call 911!"

Sam quickly dialed as Tina rushed to help untie Blaine and helped give him CPR. They didn't stop until the paramedics arrived about 10 minutes later and took him away.

"Oh my God, what if he doesn't make it?"

Burt hugged Tina, "Just pray for him. Someone needs to call his parents."

Sam went to Blaine's desk to turn on his phone so he could find out their number when he found the note, "Guys, did you read this?"

Burt and Tina ran over and quickly read it and began to cry harder. Sam eventually called Blaine's parents and had to leave a message saying Blaine was in the hospital.

"Come on. Let's get to the hospital. I will call Kurt on the way."

"Rachel! Slow down! We won't be late for our flight, we have 10 more minutes until we need to be on!"

Just then, Kurt's phone rang and he saw it was his dad.

"Hey dad, we are just getting on the plane to head back home. Can I call you later?"

"Kurt..."

Kurt stopped in his tracks, "Dad... what is it? You've been crying."

Rachel stopped when she heard Kurt and turned to look at him. He quickly put it on speaker.

"Kurt... I don't know how to tell you this. You can't get on that plane. You need to come to the hospital right away."

"Dad, you're scaring me. What is it? Is it Carole? Is she okay?"

"Kurt... Blaine tried to commit suicide when he got home after the play. I found him hanging from his closet. I'm on my way there now, but I'm not sure how long he was there like that. I don't know if he is going to make it."

Kurt dropped his phone and stood in shock.

Final boarding call for flight 206 to New York

Rachel grabbed Kurt's phone and grabbed Kurt's hand and ran for the doors.

"This is all my fault. Oh my God. Blaine is dead because of me. We shouldn't have come. If it wasn't for me, he wouldn't have tried to kill himself. He was upset and I pushed him over the edge. Oh my God Rachel.. I...I."

"Kurt stop and breathe. You're going to hyperventilate. I will drive as fast as I can."

Burt was standing outside of Blaine's room waiting for Kurt. The doctors told him that he would make it, but he would be under strict suicide watch from the hospital. He had his wrists tied to each side of the bed. Tina and Sam went home when they heard he would be okay and went to tell all the other members of the New Directions about what had happened.

"Dad! Oh my God, is he okay? Is he alive?"

Burt hugged his sobbing son as tight as possible.

"He's going to make it. I found him just in time."

"What happened? Can I see him?"

"The doctor is in there now, you have to wait. I got a call from Sam saying that he and Tina invited him out for a late dinner and he was acting weird. They found him standing in the hall of the school and he said he was just going home. They told him that he would see them later and he had said 'maybe' and he hugged them goodbye."

"This is all my fault. He wanted to talk to me and I pushed him away."

"Kurt you can't be blaming yourself here. You will drive yourself crazy doing that. Just be thankful that he didn't succeed. You two are young and are bound to make mistakes, but there is something else. He left a note."

Burt pulled the folded paper out of his pocket and handed it over. Kurt took it and walked away to read it.

Kurt sank to the floor sobbing and put his head in his hands. He didn't even stop when the doctor came out of the room twenty minutes later.

"You guys can go in now. He is sleeping because we gave him a sedative. Don't be alarmed of the bruising, that is normal in a situation like this. Let me know when he wakes up because I need to speak with him."

The doctor walked away and they all walked inside. Kurt gasped when he first saw Blaine. It was nothing like the way Karofsky had looked in the hospital. Blaine's eyes were swollen and red from crying, his neck had dark purple and blue lines, and even though he was sleeping, he looked so broken. The dark circles under his eyes showed that he hadn't been sleeping well in a long time. Kurt pulled up a chair and held his hand and cried until he fell asleep.

Three hours later Blaine started to stir so Burt woke up Kurt and Rachel and went to get the doctor. They both arrived in the room when Blaine opened his eyes. The doctor spoke while everyone else stayed silent.

"Hello Blaine, I am going to be your doctor. I'm happy to tell you that you survived."

Blaine stared at him with a dead look in his eyes, "Yay. Just what I wanted." His voice was soft and cracked a little with each word. Kurt felt tears sting his eyes when he realized Blaine wasn't happy to be alive.

"Can you tell me how long you've been depressed? Why didn't you try talking to someone?"

Blaine sat up a little, "I've been depressed since the end of September. And who was I supposed to talk to? Who do you talk to when you literally have not a single person who will listen to you?"

The doctor looked taken aback, "I meant like a therapist."

"No. I wasn't going to talk to a homophobic shrink about my gay problems."

"Well, when you're parents get here, we will talk about putting you on some medication for your depression."

"Good luck with that. They probably won't even show up. And I don't want any medication."

The doctor sighed and walked out of the room.

"Dad... Rachel.. can I have a few minutes alone with him?"

They nodded and walked out of the room. Kurt got up and sat on the edge of the bed facing Blaine who refused to look at him. Kurt started to cry again.

"Blaine... please look at me."

Blaine kept looking away and started to cry so Kurt grabbed his chin and tilted it upwards so he could look him in the eye.

"Blaine... please talk to me. You told him you've been depressed since the end of September, but we broke up in October. Why wouldn't you tell me that you were so upset?"

Blaine's face twisted in anger, "Because Kurt! Like I said in my letter if you read it, you weren't answering me! How was I supposed to get you to listen? Every text and call would go unanswered. I tried to tell you how upset I was when I called you, but you had to go because you were working! I just... Kurt... you don't know what it's like to be alone 100% of the time. Ya, you felt alone sometimes when you were in high school when you were bullied, and I get that, but you still had your dad and your friends in the Glee club, but who do I have? Once you left, I had nobody! You said you felt lonely sometimes in New York when I came to visit you and after I confessed to you, but you still had Rachel there with you regardless. When I'm here without you, I don't have anyone. My parents are gone most of the time and when they are home, they don't talk to me. Sam tried, but he didn't get it. Nobody else will talk to me. That's why I hooked up with someone else. Because for the first time in weeks I felt wanted. I felt like somebody wanted to be with me."

Kurt looked down and kissed Blaine's hands, "God I'm so so sorry. Blaine I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."

Blaine sniffled, "No, Kurt it's not all your fault. I'm sorry I didn't mean to yell. I don't mean to blame you."

"But Blaine, everything you said was right. We've both made horrible mistakes. It is going to take me a long time to trust you again, but I need you back in my life. I'm miserable without you. And most of all, I still love you."

Kurt leaned in and kissed him hard on the lips and Blaine kissed back.

"I wish I could wrap my arms around you."

Kurt got up and looked out the window making sure the doctor wasn't watching and quickly untied his wrists. He got back on the bed and kissed Blaine again wrapping his arms around his shoulders and Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist.

"It's going to take a long time for us to get back to the way we were, but I'm willing to try again."

Blaine nodded his head and then hissed in pain. Kurt got on his side and curled against Blaine.

"I'm so sorry Blaine. I love you. Promise me that no matter how upset you get, you will not try to kill yourself again. If you had succeeded, I probably would have killed myself too."

"I promise and I love you too."