I'm an Angel with a shotgun,
Fighting til' the war's won.
I don't care if heaven won't take me back.
I'll throw away my faith babe
Just to keep you save
Don't you know you're everything I have.
(angel with a shotgun - the cab)
There are many Angels of the lord that walk the earth. Some make themselves known to the public, others stay hidden in the shadows.
They all share one feature, one flaw in their personality: their honesty. At first you would praise them for their, sometimes brutal, honesty but after a while you'd wish that they were able to lie as well. Honesty sometimes got a curse. Like when trying to convince people something was good and an angel knew it was bad, he wouldn't lie about it.
They all had different strengths, the only one they all seemed to share being teleporting. Some had telepathy whilst others seemed to master more advanced things.
Archangels and angels, all over our earth and the most known of them all had to be the Angel of Thursday. The Angel with a shotgun.
He had fought in the Apocalypse. He had murderer so many of his brothers. He had a destiny that would make him fall but instead he became the next God. But above all, he became realistic. He learned that people could rely on each other and that he could rely on people in return. One couldn't do something alone, that was he learned. That was the life lesson of Castiel, angel of Thursday and defender of a faith many had lost.
Castiel had always been an exeption in heaven. During the War of Heaven and Hell and the Breaking of the 66 seals, he had never questioned God or his faith in the orders he got from the higher order.
During the War of Angels, the so-called civil war in Heaven, he had instantly made his choice even though he was on Earth. He had decided to fight for what he believed in, even if that wasn't what it was supposed to be anymore. Heaven had changed, God had changed and he didn't realise it until later.
He had killed his own brothers and sisters to defend what he always believed it. But every human and angel has a point where they start doubting. Castiel started doubting his God when unnatural things happened to the human race.
But not only to humans. Because, you need to know: people have people they rely on. Angels have angels they rely on. That's the usual way of things, friendships and bonds. So the one thing Castiel never thought was that he was going to rely most on an atheist demon hunter called Dean Winchester.
Their bond, he had described as profound and it was more than true. He might have jumped in front of Sam, but Sam's demon side would always made him doubt whilst Dean was, beside an annoying dick, someone he had saved from hell and guided through so many things. Only to betray him.
He ripped his own heart apart by seeing Dean like that, ready to murder him. Back, before the Leviathans seemed a good idea to give him more strength, but he had no idea that he would ever end up betraying the only human he could laugh with. Could trust with his whole heart. Could… love?
Castiel always knew that he wasn't able to fall in love, no matter what. Maybe if he fell, and he did. He fell and he knew what it was like being human, he knew what it was like to actually feel something. How it was like to think of only one person and not in a way of 'I need to save him!'. Luckily, he didn't have much time to think, so he didn't pay attention to it.
He threw away everything because Dean didn't trust it anymore. He turned in favor of the humans after a while, when Rafael rose.
Dean was the one person he worry about when they had let each other down. Dean was someone he didn't want to die, someone who he wanted to make an Angel just to mess with him. Cause in the end… no matter how many shotguns he owned. No matter how much people he let down. It would always be Dean. Even when he was back in heaven.