A/N: I was reading Murder on the Farm written by charlieboy and there is a character named Jo in the story. The name reminded me of Jo from the episode Blind Spot. At the end of the episode, she tells Goren that his life could have turned out very differently due to, as we all know his parents. Honestly, I never liked the line, especially after becoming acquainted with his mother this season I found her to be a sweet, intelligent woman who could very easily, even though she was ill, take care of her children. However, the reference does have a ring of truth to it. In addition, Ruby Rosetta Red and I discussed some past loves that we both envision for him and with that, I came up with story.

Altered State

He had spent much of his time with the wrong crowd, those days long ago. He didn't want to go home and spend time with her. He would stay out as late as he could. When he eventually went home, he would walk quickly through the house, without acknowledging her presence and into his bedroom. She on the other hand had been waiting for him. She would follow him and scold him. Most of what she said he never heard; he was either too drunk or stoned to understand. When he did acknowledge her presence the only thought that crossed his mind was she has some nerve yelling at me, for everything that she has done to this family. She's ruined everything. The only feeling he had for her at that time was contempt.

His father left when he was eleven and he blamed her. His brother moved out when he started college and he was jealous of him. They both left him and he was alone in the house with her. He always took care of her and protected her but one day he looked at her and cringed. The change in him was heartbreaking for her and his close friends. Andy, Dave and Cathy didn't like or understand what had happened to him. They would often ask why? He acted, as if he didn't care.

When he went to school, he was very loud and obnoxious. Cathy had noticed that he smelled of not only alcohol but also pot. They did not want to make a scene in the lunchroom so they tried their best to ignore him but it was very hard. The three of them would love to have been able to smack the crap out of him, especially Cathy. He noticed their attitude but he acted like as if he didn't care.

They had become very close during their first three years of high school, a little more than friends. She found him to be very bright and though he rarely used a comb and always looked like he needed a haircut, it seemed to fit his personality, contrary to the rest of the world. Aside from all that, he was very cute. During those few weeks not only had his personality changed so had his appearance, as if he didn't care about anyone or anything.

She found it easy to talk to him and vice versa, she had trouble sometimes understanding his attitude about certain things but that only made him more interesting and unique. They would often talk about his schoolwork; he did what he had to do, no more. He excelled only in the subjects he enjoyed, History, English and Literature. She came to realize that his attitude toward school was because adults were telling him what to do. He did not respect many of the adults in his life. Her parents however he admired a great deal. They thought him to be bright and very polite; they enjoyed his gift of intelligent conversation. She knew, as did many of the people in his life that some day, one day he would come to find out who he was and what he wanted.

She was even able to call him sweet and he would smile. Yes, she remembered his smile it always seemed to light up his eyes. However, during those days his eyes were clouded.

He was to meet his old friends one afternoon to hang out; it was Dave's seventeenth birthday, the first one of their group to turn seventeen and get a driver's license. Dave was the first one to arrive at the meeting spot, the deli. One by one, his friends arrived. They had decided that they would spend the afternoon at the beach, it was April, not many of the facilities were open but the kids always found something to do. After an hour, they said screw it when he didn't show and they left.

The red camaro came down the street and Mitch Sorenson was driving. He pulled the car onto the front lawn of his parents' home; they were away, just like so many times before. It was close to 7 pm and it was getting dark. He was there along with three other kids. They had been drinking most of that Saturday afternoon. Mitch had gone to the store to buy, no steal some more beer. They were all surprised to see the car.

"Where the hell did you get that?" asked Bruce.

Mitch got out of the car; "It was just sitting there on Keller Street, with the keys inside. I mean what kind of an asshole leaves the keys inside, a beautiful car like this. So I decided to take it out for a spin." He looks back at the car, "Cool isn't it?"

He walks over to the car with a beer in his hand. "Holy shit," he nods his head. "Cool, very cool." He walks over to the drivers' side. "Give me the keys." Mitch tossed him the keys and the kids piled into the car.

He woke up in the hospital with a headache and his arm was in a sling. Standing next to his bed was his mother along with three men he had never seen before. She spoke softly to her son. "These men have something to tell you and it's not good, it's not good at all." She hurriedly moved away from the bed and began to cry.

The taller of the men introduced himself as Detective Hanson, "You were involved in an accident and two of your friends have been killed." He was charged with vehicular homicide and two minor offenses, driving under the influence and operating a vehicle without a license. The crime of auto theft was charged to Mitch.

The lawyer assigned to his case implored him to plead guilty and since he didn't have a record, the judge would go lightly and give him probation. He did as the lawyer suggested and even the ADA agreed. However, the judge threw out their agreement and sentenced the sixteen year old to 12 months in jail. It was as it always is, he thought, adults always lie to you. He just shrugged his shoulders as they led him away. He took a quick glance at his mother who was crying. He turned abruptly and walked slowly out of the courtroom. He acted as if he didn't care.

The first week he spent alone but then he joined the other teenagers. Pretty tall for his age but skinny. A long time resident of the jail and two of his friends surrounded him in the lunch line. He stood perfectly still and listened to the boastful manner that the three teens spoke. Slowly, like a pot of boiling water, his anger grew. He hit one of the teens with the tray he was holding and he fell to the floor. He was a few inches taller than the so called leader and he grabbed him by the back of his head and pushed it into the glass case that protected the food, not once, not twice but three times the young mans' head hit that glass and then it cracked. He stood back as blood covered the teens face and three guards surrounded him. He acted as if he didn't care.

He spent the next week alone again and after another appearance in court, with the same judge his sentence increased to 24 months. He would never graduate high school with his classmates and by the time he was released most of them would be in college. He acted as if he didn't care.

He got into many more fights and by the time he was released he was the one that the kids were fearful of. After his release, he moved back home with his mother. He wasn't easy to talk to anymore; he was a very angry young man after spending two years in jail. She noticed the change in her youngest son and tried her best to get him on track. It was hopeless his anger filled every fiber of his being. She was ill and not able to cope with him, after all he was not a child any longer he was a man. She sold her house and moved into a group home for people with disabilities. She rarely saw her son. When he would come to visit, he usually asked for money. She would make promises to herself after each visit. That, that would be the last time that she would give him money but each time he returned she would always give him what she could, after all it was just a few dollars and he was still her son.

The next twenty-five years of his life were spent with one woman after another. One dead end job after another. Alcohol and drug abuse filled his life. He would get clean and sober and within a year, he was back to his same ole ways. He became a father to two daughters and a son, with three different women. Each woman left him and he never married. He was not a good provider for his children or their mother's. When they would ask him for help, he was usually broke and any money that he made he would spend on his own vices, woman and alcohol. He would tell them repeatedly that they knew exactly who and what he was when they spread their legs for him to fuck.

He came to find out that his son had been arrested for assault and would be spending time in the same jail that he did over twenty-five years ago. He acted as if he didn't care.

A hand touches his shoulder. "Hey you're very quiet, are you ok?"

He just stares into space, "Bobby are you alright?" he turns his head slightly to the left and smiles at his friend and partner Alex Eames. "Yes I was just thinking."

She sits down next to him, places a cup of coffee in front of him and then takes a sip from her mug. "About what?"

"Mitchell Sorenson."

"Gee why would you waste your time thinking about him, what a loser."

He chuckles softly, "Cause that………." He tilts his head, "Could have been me."

"What?"

"I never got in the car that night. I went home," he picks up the cup of coffee and slowly leans back in the chair. "And if I remember correctly got sick but the next day I apologized to my mom and my friends for acting like a complete ass."

She smiles at him, "What car?"

"The car that Mitch had stolen that night. I asked him for the keys and he tossed them to me. I opened the driver's side door. The other kids got in and I stood there staring at it for the longest time. I said to them this is not right," he shakes his head. "This is very wrong. I gave Mitch back the keys and the other kids just laughed. I dropped the beer can on the ground and told them that I wouldn't go with them. I watched as Mitch drove the car down the street and then I headed for home." He leans his elbows on the table and rubs his face; "They had an accident that night and unfortunately two of the kids died. Mitch was drunk when he stole the car and drunker when he drove away."

"Oh my God so you could have been the one to………."

"Exactly."

She smiles and very unprofessionally, but it seemed the right thing to do, takes a hold of his hand. "I didn't know you then but I'm glad you got yourself together because after meeting you………. my life would never have been so interesting."

He lightly squeezes her hand, "Want to get some lunch."

"Yes I would."

"Good because I'm starved." His cell phone rings. "Hey……….hopefully early." He looks over at his partner. She nods. "Alex agrees, so I'll see you a little after six. Yes Cathy I remember she has a recital this evening, wouldn't miss it for the world, Alex wants to join us." He nods as he and his partner walk toward the elevator. "Yes I'll be careful; I'm only going to lunch." The elevator door closes. "I love you too."

THE END

FYI: Someone had commented about the sentence that the young man received for his crime. They thought it was a little light. During my research, I discovered that for this particular crime an individual could be sentenced from 9 months to 3 years.