Gibberish Jabbering
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the Marauders or even a book besides the third one...the rest are my brother's.
Lily sighed as she descended the girl's staircase to the common room alone, being the only Gryffindor girl staying over the Christmas holidays.
She would've been at home with her family but her parents had finally been coaxed, by Petunia of course, into visiting the girl's horrible great aunt Matilda. The fact that the woman was an absolute nightmare had cemented Petunia's unholy admiration of her years before.
So Lily was alone for Christmas, unless she wanted to spend it hiding in her room with her parents while Petunia and Matilda gossiped and screeched at each other happily. Not that she was completely alone, she wasn't the only Gryffindor staying.
No, she grumbled to herself, I would never be that lucky.
What put her in such a bad mood about it, was that the Marauders were the other Gryffindors staying. She amended that statement, three out of four were, and since Remus could usually be convinced away from whatever weirdness they were up to her only real problems were Black and Potter.
Somehow that doesn't make me feel any better, Lily thought with a sigh.
While her and James' relationship-or their lack of it-was easy to explain- she hated him, he loved her- her and Sirius' was a bit more complicated. That was partially because it wasn't so much a relationship as it was an understanding.
She didn't like the Black, oh no, but with all the time she spent with Remus in the library, and with all the time Sirius spent with Remus in general- while James' was at practice or in a detention- she'd ended up spending a lot of time with Sirius in the library.
Which meant that she'd eventually developed a high tolerance level for the boy, the only problem being that he got much worse when James was about.
And since James was going to be around for the entire break Sirius would be too much to handle and Remus would be overwhelmed so it was bound to be a mess, she just knew it.
This is going to be so horrible. Mentally Lily gave herself a pat on the back for comfort- her day had been weird enough to deserve it.
When she made it down to the common room she was met with a sight that was quite uncommon, even more so than her mental back patting.
Oh she was used to the Marauders being weird, as Remus had once said-you didn't pull pranks as well as they did and not go a little more than crazy- but this was different.
This was a combination of weird, odd, insane, strange, peculiar and so many other words that Lily was a bit to freaked out to name.
Lily wasn't even quite sure what this was.
The three boys were sprawled about the room, Remus curled up into a ball in front of the fire place with a book and the other two in much stranger positions.
Sirius had apparently decided to move the couches around and had scooted two together, cushion to cushion, laying across the small line where they met with his legs spread eagle, a foot sitting on top of each couch's frame. That, though weird would've been alright by itself, but the fact that he'd done the same with the two other couches and pile the four together meant he lay on top of a somewhat large structure.
James was doing a bit of the same, only he'd taken four chairs and was sitting on the center of his larger, improvised 'throne'. Thankfully his construction was on the large study table in the corner, and not in any danger of falling over.
That was not the weirdest part about the two though, as Sirius was wearing a large white top hat that looked like it was growing grass and James had donned a hula skirt on over his pants, which complimented his fruit hat rather nicely.
Lily slapped that thought away and groaned as his hazel eyes brightened at seeing her, the boy loudly exclaiming, "Look into the isolation of large yams!"
….What?
Lily boggled at James and, though he usually blushed ever-so-slightly at saying something so obviously stupid to her, he just continued to watch her with delight.
She gulped.
Thats a bit creepy.
"Red eggs in the afternoon love that lice yodel?" Sirius questioned and Lily really didn't want to know how she knew he was asking a question at all. The Black sat up from his couch bed, and began climbing over the side, only to fall onto the ground. Lily winced at the thud of his landing, thankful that he hadn't built a third layer.
"The dear apricots nest in mangroves."He sighed, slowly rising to his feet and coming toward her in a strange mixture of waddling like a duck and holding his arms out like a zombie.
She stepped to the side and watched as he continued to walk to her former position, eventually hitting the wall and sinking down to lean against it.
"The lamps weren't in the igloos of Limbo yesterday." He whined to her with a pathetic look upon his face.
"Snapping hellions utter toothpicks, umbrellas, and penguins!" Remus scolded them, throwing the two a glare before turning back to his book, giving Lily a quick smile.
"Umm..."She decided against trying to ask James, who was still staring, or Sirius, who was still pouting, and started walking over to the only boy who seemed anywhere near normal at the moment.
Well, other than the gibberish of course.
"Remus, whats going on?"
The blond looked up at her with exasperated eyes before they brightened with what, she assumed, was an idea.
He held up three fingers before he started to crawl toward the study table James' throne balanced on, sitting up to kneel and sweep his arms over the top between the chair legs a few times before he finally pulled down a clipboard, some muggle loose leaf paper and a pencil.
Lily looked on in confusion as Remus started to roll across the floor back to her.
Before she could wonder if she should have asked one of the others instead, Remus was on the ground before her again, kneeling on one leg as he wrote furiously, hand almost a blur.
When the frantic scrawling finally stopped he tossed the clipboard into the air, the red head barely catching it before it could hit her in the face.
"Bees that echo have caves, artwork, radishes, eggplants, filming-rights, undon and letters!" James shouted from his corner of the room. Lily ignored him and read, aloud,"Weathering emus and aardvarks are rusting endorsement ukuleles, which aren't for nuns, dolphins, elephants or Rapunzel, AZTEC cucumbers are the ultimate rapping Sasquatches and have egos?"
Lily just stood there for a second, raising an eyebrow at her friend.
"Remus, I don't know whats going on, but it worries me."
The youngest of the Marauders looked at her with panicked eyes before almost shoving the book up her nose. Lily looked down at it. It was scruffy looking, old, thick and had deep purple lettering.
"Confusion Spells, Curses or Charms" or "Compulsive Seagulls that Cut our Cream."
She stared at the title blankly for a few minutes, watching as it shifted between the two names.
"So," she eventually said, "either the book cursed you, you were cursed by someone and were trying to fix it with the book, or you were trying a spell out and accidentally overpowered it, causing you all to be affected. Can you tell me which it is?"
They are seemed to share a glance before rushing from their places and gathering in a bunch before her with shiny, hopeful eyes.
She thought for a minute, looking at the three Marauders grouped in front of her.
"Well there are three of you... so the third choice?"She asked.
She got Sirius' nod, Remus' air punch, and James' air guitar as an answer. Lily decided that meant she was right, and also decided to ignore the fact that she could almost feel herself catching the crazy.
"Well then, as much as I'd prefer it if you two couldn't talk," She watched James and Sirius, "and even though I'd usually deduct points for something like this, I don't want Remus to be under whatever this is, and I get the feeling that this would get really old, really fast. Also since you didn't curse anybody but yourselves with it, yet, I'll help you."
Lily watched three grins, of various sizes, sweep across their faces and almost regretted her choice. Rules and detentions were much easier to deal with than rule-breakers and the veterans of detention themselves.
Three hours, forty minutes and ten seconds (and many utterances of 'loveable cupcakes, waterfall screaming cherries, bobcat homing melon and one group dance of the worm) later Lily Evans stood triumphantly before them red hair askew, but the wide smile on her face completely intact.
"Now," she ordered, "Someone say something...you!" She pointed her wand at Sirius, who flinched backward as he was almost poked in the eye but grinned roguishly as he responded.
"Something!"
Both James and Remus looked to their friend, each other and then to Lily before she was suddenly caught in a very enthusiastic tackle hug.
She flailed in the grasp of long arms and pointy elbows before eventually giving up and letting them hug her.
Remus let go soon after, yanking his friends off by their collars, James taking a bit more force than Sirius, and Lily gave him a grateful smile as the two ravens begin to tug at their accessories.
"Thank you so much Lily, we'd been like that since this morning and honestly I was getting a bit tired of it."
"Its alright Remus, I really didn't mind that much and," she leaned in closer, whispering, "don't tell them this but it was fun spending time with you guys." James had started to yank on Sirius' top hat and jumped backward with a startled yelp when the grass slapped his hand.
"Flaming llamas have attacked the evolutionary reflection of pie." Lily told them, expression straight and voice monotone.
Waving goodbye and handing the stunned Remus back his book she started out the portrait hole, turning to look at the boys one last time before she headed down to dinner, deciding to give up on the library.
She kept walking, smiling, and feeling neither quite so gloomy about the Marauders, nor quite so alone without her family and friends.
This is going to be horrible?
Well, I've been wrong before.
The next morning she came down the stairs for breakfast to find the three boys waiting for her. She was greeted with a hazel wink, a pale arm slung across her shoulders, and Remus' voice fondly saying, "Ping-pong is always played in silent, purple forests and only in Tuesday's brother's old pants."
And Lily smiled, soaked in the friendship around her, that put most others to shame and the fact that, even if it was only for break, only for the week or the day she was part of it.
"Wild margaritas frolic across the endless plains of apple pizza, and the kangaroo licks that toucan."She told him, pointing toward the wall.
But being grateful didn't mean she wouldn't kick butt at the gibber jabber.
Inspired by an awesome Supernatural fic, that I don't remember the name of, and me and my best friends conversation about how "tackling a dinosaur was a bad idea because it would puncture your tumor then the mayonnaise would get on your shirt". (Which was inspired by the fact that I shoved a packet of mayo up her shirt sleeve...I don't know where the dinosaur came from actually...)
And that, of course, is the only reason not to tackle a dino.
Author's Note: So third 'story', and I'm a bit iffy on this one, for obvious reasons but the longer I didn't post it the longer it would get and the less sense it would make. Which would be quite the achievement as it doesn't make much now anyway. To anyone who read this note, and I'd be surprised, no they aren't cursed again at the end its more of an inside joke now, or at least thats how I intended it.
And also the boys weren't talking COMPLETE nonsense, when James says "Look into the isolation of large yams," if you take the first letter of each of the more uncommon words then you get Lily. The parenthesis thing with happy cupcakes and the like, as well as Lily's sentence about llamas, doesn't mean anything though...Unless you find some hidden meaning in them. In that case you need to tell me because I, am not the one that put it there.
Review to tell me if you can figure out exactly what Remus' little letter to Lily says. Or review if you just want to review.