Hey guys! I feel like it's been forever since I added a story :( I miss writing! I just feel like life's been crazy lately. So, here's something that came out of total frustration of not being able to do anything enjoyable for ages :\ Please be warned, it's total fluff. Read and review!

I glanced over at you, prying my eyes from the road in front of me for the first time that night, if only to see your lively curls twist in the wind from the open windows. You were so lucky to have a car along with your license. I always knew that it was because your parents loved you. You always claimed that it was because you could keep your grades up and babysit your brother, but I knew the truth. Everyone loved you, who could say no to that adorable smile?

Either way, you were the only who took the time to teach me how to maneuver a car. Poor Kenny, the bastard couldn't even afford a permit. But you never cared about how I couldn't afford anniversary presents, or how I couldn't take you out anywhere. You were kind; the last of the earthly angels.

"Kenny, slow down." You warned, your voice as soft and friendly as my favorite song. I complied, lifting my foot from the gas peddle and lightly resting it on the breaks. I wasn't bad at driving, you'd taught me how, but I still had a heavy foot and an itching to go faster.

I was always the one that lived on the edge. I'd smoked my first cigarette by the time I was thirteen and haven't stopped since, if I could spend every moment of my life high or drunk I would. You, on the other hand, you never touched tobacco, weed or anything that might tamper with that brilliant mind. That was the difference between us; I smoked to get those deep thoughts, you dated me in hopes of dulling them. As if I was some damn drug.

I knew I tainted you. Fuck, you still loved me anyway. I remember once when we were sitting at Stark's Pond. I was smoking a cigarette and and leaned over to kiss you, expelling the toxic smoke into your mouth and pulling back with a smirk. You had coughed so hard that I still don't forgive myself.

"I'm just like my fucking father." I muttered, my back resting on my mattress because I was too fucking poor to afford a bed frame. You didn't seem to mind though, and shifted even closer to me. "I'm gonna have three unlucky bastards with a bitch I can't stand and... it's not like the world will miss out on anything."

I angled my face away from you, placing the bowl between my lips, lighting it, and breathing the sweet taste of my future. Living in this shithole, smoking weed until you realize how much better you could do without me. I exhaled away because I knew the smell stained your curls, and moved back in your arms.

"You are not, and that's not true." You comforted and your hand touched my cheek, lithe finger brushing under my red eyes. God, I loved it when you touched me. You could make anyone melt with one meaningful glance from those gorgeous eyes. "Kenny... you're not stuck here. I won't let you waste away. You were made for so much more."

I laughed, my voice thick in the sweet, drugged air and hugged you closer. You were never a good liar.

"Kenny, careful on the corners. Go a bit slower," I herd you murmur gently and because I kind of knew that you needed to nag me, I only smiled. You were always the mothering one of us. You coddled Ike to the point of spoiling, and forgave Cartman every time he did some jackass move to you. Hell, even Stan had turned into a douche bag and you still loved him. It was that instinct you had that made you need to give this sort of constant love that only a parent can have.

Well, maybe not my parents, but yours. Then again, if my parents had a kid like you then they'd probably stop drinking and start saving up for a college fund.

Your hand inched toward my leg, resting softly on my thigh. Light as a butterfly and just that unstable. You never put out for me, our relationship had always been more mental than physical. We made love. And that's coming from Kenny fucking McCormick. And I used to fuck anything that moved.

But you changed me. You could change anyone. Sex was empty, but that night, laying on the grass and watching the sky shade to an inky black, I'd realized that there was so much more. So, so much that I was missing out on and only you could open my eyes to.

My hands spread out in the soft grass, and I looked up at the starts across the sky. You were laying beside me, your head resting in the crook of my shoulder and pointing up at the stars as you tried to teach me the constellations.

I had no fucking idea which you were pointing to, but the way that your brows knitted together in concentration and focus was enough to make me wish you'd never stop.

Before I knew it we were kissing, clinging to each other. You were my salvation and I was yours. You moved on top of me and pinned me to the hill. It was so rare to see you take this sort of initiative, but it was intoxicating. My hands clung to the span of your back, the soft pale flesh that you only occasionally let me feel. You were always shy, for no apparent reason. You were gorgeous and every second I could sneak my fingers up your shirt I cherished.

Your soft lips broke away from mine and I whined a protest. "Kyle..." I breathed and dug my head into his shoulder. Kissing him gave me the euphoria that sex with anyone else delivered.

"Hold me closer," you said so softly that the rustling of the pines almost drove it out. My arms instantly tightened around your waist, clinging to you with all I had. "Kenny... closer," you pawed at my own shirt and my breath hitched.

I was the known sex-god of the school, the one that had the best sex life, but at that moment with you in my arms I could have fainted. I didn't want to assume things were going anywhere too fast – I had made that mistake before and I never wanted to rush you into anything. So instead I pulled you so closely against my chest that I could feel your heart thump against mine. My nose buried into your neck, needing that sweet strawberry sent.

"No, Kenny..." You whispered, unable to move in my grasp. "I want you to be inside of me."

The bliss ended all too soon and we were both laying on the earth, panting for our breaths. My head lolled off to the side, watching the moonlight highlight your collarbone, your hips, those long legs, the red curls between your legs and every contour of your body.

"You're so beautiful," the words had spilled before I could stop them, but you only blushed and laughed softly. You were always modest. I grabbed you once again, pulling you just as close as what I had before. My lips touched your cheeks, tasting the salt from when you'd cried as I pushed inside you. You were so brave and strong, knowing that I could make you tear up like that was scary. But reversely, knowing that I could take that uptight person you always were, and turn you into someone who screamed my name to heavens. "I love you, Kyle."

You pulled your hands up along my chest, and kissed my chin. "I love you too,"

Your screech woke me from my dreams an sent my blood running cold. Out of nowhere a stop sign had appeared at the intersection down the street. My foot flew to the break, but I couldn't stop it fast enough. Your hands tried to take the wheel from mine but it was all too late.

I was going too fast, I couldn't stop. You let out another raw yell and I frantically searched for the cause of it. But before I found it, the world went dark.

"Kyle," My voice called your name before I could pry my eyes apart. I begged for your safety, you needed to be okay. Oh, god, please let Kyle live.

"I'm here, it's okay." Your voice singing to me just like it had moments ago when everything was fine. Your fingers held my cheek and I never noticed how warm you were.

My head rotated to the direction of your sweet voice. You weren't in the passengers seat. Somehow you'd opened my door and kelt beside me on the grass. As long as you could escape, I knew you'd be fine.

But you were covered in blood. The air smelt metallic with the red horror. I begged for it to be mine, pleaded that your sweet soul would still be in place.

"Just hang on Ken." Your voice was thick with tears and desperation. Your fingers played in my hair as you murmured anything and everything to calm me. You told me about the car that had struck us, about how you called for help, about how your mother would kill us, and about much you loved me.

I couldn't stand to see your pain. How couldn't you remember the last time this happened? I'd be back tomorrow, holding you in my arms while you laughed over my stupid jokes. I was awful for doing this, if I loved you I'd let you go. This couldn't be our life – no – this couldn't be your life. You deserved better, someone who would love you to death but never die.

"Ky- Ky... shut up and listen." After explaining this to you for almost a year, I didn't feel the need for tact. I just needed you to stop crying. "I'll be back tomorrow. I don't die."

You shook your head frantically. "You're just tired. You'll feel better when the ambulance-"

"No." I could feel the blood trickle down my temple as my vision of you clouded. "You need to listen. I love you... I'd never lie to you... be strong and don't cry, I'll be here tomorrow and you won't remember any of this." Tears slid from your eyes but I had your attention. "Why would I lie about this?"

"To make me feel better," You sobbed and clung to me, my blood smearing to your skin. I stained your jacket, your cheek, your hair, but you didn't care. "Oh, God Kenny don't leave me! Please, I need you... I need you, I need you, I need you... don't leave me..."

"L-Listen..." My head rested on yours because I was too tired to continue upright. It was soon – I couldn't stay with you forever and the foggy all knowingness of death washed over me once again. I pressed myself against those auburn curls you hate and tried to breath in anything other than blood. "I've never lied to you before. If I'm not back by tomorrow... if I'm not back by tomorrow, I'll make God bring you with me."

"No... no, no, no..." You repeated, over and over as if the words could stop your torment. Why wouldn't you believe me? I told you this at least once a week!

"Ky. It'll be like... like that gay ass movie Ghost or whatever." I laughed lamely. We'd watched that a while ago, mainly because I hoped it could ease you at a time like this. "If I'm not back tomorrow, I'll come back to screw you... you ever night."

You smiled, mostly for my sake but I decided to let go at that moment. You were fine, at least for the moment. You'd watch them handle my body and spend the night sobbing yourself to sleep. It was always like that, and I always watched over you when you got like that. I didn't want you to do anything that we'd both regret when I woke in my bed and you woke up to a good morning text from me.

Times like this I wondered why I had this curse. If this was our lives, how could I put you through it? You made me so happy... happier than any damn bastard in the world. And I was selfish to take you for my own. If I just left... you'd cry. You'd fucking cry for weeks but then you'd get with Stan. He'd never be able to make you as happy as I could, and he'd never love you like I did... but he'd never break you like this. One day, you'll cry one tear too many and I'll let you go. But for now, I'm too selfish.

"Trust me..." I gurgled through the blood and you nodded, repeating the action.

It was that moment that I stopped clinging to the earth. You were okay then there was no reason I needed to stay.

So I think this is the longest thing I've ever wrote. Congrats on being able to finish it! I hope you liked it, the style of writing is new to me and I'm trying my best at it. Please read and review! Thanks :)