Chapter 1: Confused

(SIGH)

I watched rain drops falling from the window of my bedroom, no; our bedroom. The outdoor had changed so much. It's been three years since Edward;

Since I turned in to a vampire…since three years I am eighteen…three years have passed since I have been a part of the Cullen family. I love them. They have given me everything… a life partner, a beautiful daughter, all the love a family can give someone but then…

Why am I being so, so disturbed? So confused? Why am I feeling that I am incomplete? Like I need someone?

Why am I feeling such emptiness…? I have everything that I wanted… Everything. This incomplete thing was taking over my mind but I cannot do anything…

I heard, and smelled Edward coming through the door. Now, my senses were like him, even better than him. My strength greater than him. My beauty, I am not baffling but little less than him.

"Bella…" he said in his icy tone. I am so used to it.

I turned my gaze towards him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked me with all the concern.

"Nothing…just…" I spoke and became silent. I didn't know what to say…

"How deeply I wish that I can read your mind…" he said and sat next to me on our bed.

"But I can tell something is troubling you Bella…what it is?" he asked.

He can so easily read my face, but honestly I also don't know what's troubling me… what is making me so depressed. But maybe… maybe I know it…

"It's nothing Edward…don't worry because of me…" I told him softly.

Edward kept quiet.

I don't like that look on his face.

"I… just think I… need a change in routine...That's all." I said vaguely.

He seemed not to believe me. And then he turned his face toward me and came forward.

He put his icy cold hand on my cheeks… which I couldn't make out because now our temperatures are same…

He moved his face closer to mine, his lips inches away from me and then he kissed me.

Any girl in place of me would have never let go it, it was such a beautiful kiss.

Edward curled his lips on mine very softly. He smooched every corner of my lip. He started off softly and kissed me.

The kiss was turning full of passion. I can feel it…now, he was kissing me stronger.

His other hand was going on my waist and down between my legs while he was kissing me…he was in a playful mood I guess… his hands tightly caught me on my waist and I was enjoying it as usual… yes… as usual…

His hands were now under my shirt and reaching my bra. I kept my hand over his shoulder as a reply to all his actions. I stonily caught his hairs. Edward was always unexpected. His lips reached my neck and he started kissing it. As his hands reached to undone my jeans button I spoke.

"Edward-? I hear Renesmee." I spoke shortly.

He didn't let go of me, but stopped kissing me tried to hear. Oh, he was so lost in pleasuring me but, me? I was not so carried away in kissing Edward…

Renesmee opened the door... and Edward removed his hands from my bra and jeans. I sighed.

"Daddy, I am ready." She spoke comparatively cheerful than me.

Renesmee, my daughter she had grown so much. She is a hybrid of a vampire and human. Her growing rate is fast. Today she should be three years old but she is fourteen, and next year…. She will a year older to her father…

"Darling we are not leaving today…" Edward answered.

"And we are going for a month… you need a bigger bag than your school bag, hon." He added.

"oh." She said. "But, I just can't wait to go to ilse-esme! Aunt Alice told me-" she stopped.

"What?" I asked.

"She told me that you spend… that you made you're…" Renesmee said slowly. But I knew what she was saying.

"You made your honeymoon there." She said snorting.

Edward smiled and I covered my face in cheering shame. Alice, how can she tell, my daughter that? I have to talk to her… I can't stop a smile.

"Well, she is not wrong…" Edward said.

"SHHH!" I told him.

"Don't tell her that." I Whispered to Edward.

I couldn't believe it is so hard to talk about our sex life in front of your kids… WHY THE HELL AM I SMILING?

Renesmee stopped giggling and spoke.

"Mum, I just wish you could also come with us…" she said.

"Oh, baby! I can't!" I said hugging Renesmee.

"Everyone, instead of Carlisle, is going there...Someone has to be here with him…right?"

"Then why mama stay with him?" She asked.

"Esme have not visited the island since centauries… and Jasper and Alice deserves a vacation… Don't worry; you'll be fine sweetheart…" I answered.

"It's not a big deal, Bella; you can still come with us. Emmet and Rosalie can stay…"

"No!" I cut through Edward's word and spoke.

"No, Edward I've told you before that I can't do that… they are wasting their time sitting here in the house they do deserve a love-slash-family holiday." I said in a breath.

Edward and Renesmee both were satisfied with my excuses.

Honestly, I didn't want to go. What is the use of spending a month in an island… I mean it sounds great but I am not into that…And I was not going, too.

"So, Renesmee let me help you with packing…" Edward said coolly to Renesmee.

"No, I am growing up, I can pack myself."

"Certainly." Edward sighed. He was not used to be a father, but he is trying…

Renesmee went out of the room and Edward and I were alone again.

"Well I hope you remember that tomorrow you have to go at Charlie's?" Edward asked me.

"Uh? Yeah, sure how can I forget that?" Well I had forgotten Charlie's promotion party. I am so happy for him. He is now the head of his department and the salary is better.

"So be ready… because I can't see much time in tomorrow…" Edward said pointing at the wall clock which showed only five minutes to twelve a.m.

"Hmm…" I shushed.

"Well I am going to check on Renesmee… and …" Edward said and he came forward and he kissed my forehead.

"… I love you…" He said. I smiled weakly. Then he went out.

He loved me so much. I too loved him… but this uncertainty was getting over me. Maybe this was because I was surrounded by vampires, but Edward is surrounded by them since centauries and everyone else in the house has no problem but me? I have no idea… Maybe visiting Charlie would help me…

Well, I had a whole night to think as I don't sleep. It's a free gift that you receive after being a vampire… this makes me chuckle.

Now I just can't wait to go to Charlie's…

It was cloudy day in Forks today and everyone was ready apart from me and Carlisle. Renesmee was really excited.

"I can't wait to reach there!" Renesmee remarked. She looked a little grown then tomorrow. She was turning into a beautiful lady, as I can see.

"I wish you could come with us, Bella." Alice said.

"It's not too late, you can still pack your bags." Carlisle said.

"No, it's fine Carlisle… you will be alone, and that do not please me…"

"We can stay." Emmet said and Rosalie glared at him.

"No, y-you should go." I said.

"Okay, then we should leave for the airport. Come on Renesmee sit in the car, darling." Esme said tentatively.

Renesmee and Esme sat in one car and Alice and Jasper, and Rosalie and Emmet in their owns.

I was standing at the door when Edward came to me.

"I am going to miss you." He whispered.

I sighed.

He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me on my lips. He kissed me softly. He let it go when he heard Esme coughing.

"We're getting late, Edward." She said with pleasure.

Edward nodded and went to the car with Renesmee and Esme. He looked at me and smiled. Everyone else waved at me. Renesmee gave me a flying kiss and they disappear from the view.

I went inside the house and looked at the clock. It was quarter to four. In next two hours I have to get ready and visit Charlie. I would have chosen to wear my old jeans and t-shirt, but when you are a Cullen your wardrobe is modified completely. Alice had thrown every cloth of mine and in place of them placed hundredths of lavish silk dresses and gowns. Well I was succeeded in keeping a few but they are not so appropriate for an evening out…

I spend some time reading Shakespeare when I realize it was time for me to get ready. I went to the bathroom and took a bath. But when you are a vampire you don't need to have it because it do not cause any difference. Well I was just wearing my undergarments and staring myself at the mirror… I was pale white and my hair a little bronze. Any outsider, or a human would get me as the genetic sister of Edward but I was vampire…

I covered my body with a blue knee length dress. I wore my gimmy choos. I wore a pair of platinum earrings that Edward gifted me at our wedding anniversary, of which I gave him a splendid sex. I combed my hair. And applied make up, which I didn't need. In just three years living with Alice I have acquired the ability to make you to look good.

On the other hand I was ready… at time. It was seven o' clock, and I told Carlisle that I was going at Charlie's and he told me to be careful.

Unlike everyone else I can control my thirst to human blood. I don't even feel like being thirsty. That's my free gift. I jumped in to my Mercedes and drove at Charlie's. I reached my ex-house and it was the same instead of it was decorated with lights and numerous cars were parked outside, some of them were police cars. I parked my car and reached at Charlie's front door, I could hear the music. I knocked it.

I could hear Charlie coming and he opened the door.

"Bells… you're in time." He said. "Looking good."

"Hi, dad." I said. I was seeing him after so much time. He was same in an unusual way. A little wrinkled but same. How much can you change in three years? Sigh.

"Well come in." He said.

"Congratulations for the promotion." I said and gave him the flowers which I had bought for him. He looked a little confused and hesitated but took the flowers. He didn't expected me to be like that.

"Thank you, Bella." He said.

"How are you?" I asked

"I am meeting you after a long time, Bells." He said.

"You're beautiful." He added.

"Aw, dad, I am very happy for you."

He smiled.

"Where is Edward?"

"They… are in a vacation." I answered.

"You didn't go?" Charlie asked me inquiringly.

"Then I wouldn't get the chance to meet you here…"

"Yeah right…Go, make yourself comfortable, I'll be back in a minute."

"Shall I help you in the kitchen?" I offered. It's been years since I cooked.

"No it is fine." He said and went to the kitchen.

I reached the living room, it was decorated with ribbons and several gifts and flowers were there. Many cops were their chatting. Some young people were their too. Probably their kids. It was a sight of hustle and bustle and maybe for the first time there were so many people in Charlie's house. He had even organized a dance floor. Eatables were on the table and then I heard a group o f people roaring with laughter…Then I saw at the corner. A group of muscular people, surrounding an old man on a wheelchair and talking.

The werewolves have noticed me coming. Of course, they can smell any vampire hundred miles away…They were all looking at me with the corner of their eyes. I could make out there was Paul, Sam, Seth who waved at me, Leah who was glaring and then… I saw him. Him. My best friend…

Jacob Black.

I don't know why but I felt my chest contrasting. I looked at him with the expression of disbelief, familiarity, alliance and shame…