I decided to write today. Even though I have a History project due tomorrow. Currently I've been planning a multi-chapter fanfiction but I'm only like 15% done cause world building and character development and stuff exist (I haven't even gotten to the plot, okay) and also I've been playing a lot of Pokémon.

All run-on sentences are on purpose. (also, the reason why there's so many missing details is because Len can't remember them or he was too focused on something else to notice them)

Dear Journal,

Um. This is the first page, right? I might've skipped a page on accident…yeah, I did, but oh well. Let's just pretend that this is the first page, 'kay?

I found this journal in the back of my closet when Mom forced to clean it out. I think I got it when I was nine on my birthday, because it's blue and it looks like Blue from Blue's Clue's fur.

So, you're supposed to write about your day or something, right? And confess all your deep dark secrets? I can't imagine doing that. I've read enough fanfiction. I know what'll happen.

Well, this journal or diary or whatever this is has a lock and key on it, so that could be useful. Though, knowing me, I would probably hide the key somewhere and forget where I hid it. Just like when I hid my pocket money in a pair of pants I never wear and forgot where it was and then couldn't go see The New Millennium with Fukase.

Oh well. Maybe I should trust that my friends wouldn't snoop around in it. They're probably not the kind to do that. Not like in those fanfictions.

I guess I should say what happened today, but today nothing really happened except I got a pppp* on one of my music scores for saxophone, and I couldn't play soft enough for my teacher to be satisfied and after a while he kind of just put his head in his hands and told me class was dismissed early. Also Fukase called me at one in the morning and told me he lost his homework and that he wanted me to help him find it. Then I hung up, because he typically did these things, and by the time I reached his house, he would've already "found it" and I would have to walk home and waste precious minutes when I could've been sleeping.

So, yesterday, more interesting stuff happened. And I guess I'll tell you the interesting stuff.

There's this girl. That's a really cliché way to start, I know, but I couldn't think of anything else to say! What was I supposed to say? "There's this human." "There's this demon from hell." "There's a girl that I TOTALLY DON'T LIKE OR ANYTHING."

Anyway, yeah, I like her. A little bit. We don't talk much, she stays with her friends and I stay with mine. Actually just Fukase, but you get the point. Right? Right?

I told Fukase about my lov-crush(gosh, crush is such an awkward word. I prefer "like like" or something), and he thought it would be cool to play matchmaker and scheme with Sachiko(one of Rin's friends. I've heard she's a hopeless romantic or something) Yesterday he dragged me to where Rin and Sachiko sat and forced me to sit down, even though I had never talked to them.

His reasoning was stupid too Like:

"Why?"

"Why not?"

We've never talked to them-"

"But why not now?"

At least it went something like that, but Fukase will be Fukase. He pretty much can force me to do anything.

He and Sachiko immediately greeted each other like they were old friends and instantly started a conversation, completely ignoring Rin and I.

It was really awkward and stuff, and I couldn't stop thinking about that one time when I pushed Rin out of her chair when we were six because she wouldn't share her green crayon at Daycare and she punched me in the face as revenge. The daycare lady(was her name Ms. Lily? I can't remember) called our parents and made us apologize to each other. I think things are cool between us now. I think.

I said "hi" really quietly while staring at my food because that Daycare incident kept repeating in my head and it was really embarrassing. Also I kind of, you know, like her.

She replied back just as awkwardly, and I wondered if she remembered that incident too.

Earlier in the week, I had searched up how to flirt with girls because I was really curious and…that's the only reason why…and I decided to maybe try it.

But I couldn't remember what order the flirting thing went, so I kinda just blurted out, "I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you!" And it was sooooooo embarrassing because I KNOW that's not the first thing you say.

She kind of stares at me for a second, and I'm not looking at her because of embarrassment, but I could feel her stare.

And then she starts to giggle a bit, and I look up a little bit, and a really pretty smile lights up her face, and I squirm a bit before stuttering out something like, "That's not what I meant to say! I mean, I do like you but-" but I can't remember the exact words. And then somewhere along the way, I realize I'VE JUST CONFESSED and this is really terrifying (CONFESSING IS TERRIFYING) and I start to scoot away from her, and she says, "Wait" and I stop, but my muscles are really tensed up.

She tells me to look up and I do, but I can't meet her eyes because meeting people's eyes makes me really uncomfortable, especially after what happened now.

Her bow flops a little on her head as she smiles again and she says that she likes me too, and I'm kind of fangirling(boying?) because yeahhhhhh it wasn't unrequited after all and stuff that happens in fanfiction can happen in real life too!

There's a couple of seconds of just pure awkward because neither of use knew what exactly to do after confessing. Don't fanfiction characters usually have their first kiss or something? I don't think I'm ready for that…

But I gather all my courage, and I lean over, across the table, and I kinda press a kiss against her cheek quickly before returning back to my seat. She does this cute little squeak-thing and blushes, and I think my face heated up too. Then the bell rang, and we went our separate ways. Fukase kept nudging me and sending me winky faces during class, and he told me he and Sachiko planned this. I wasn't that surprised, considering that they acted like they knew each other for five million years when I know for a fact that he hasn't.

He also asked me when the marriage was, but it was a joke, and we both laughed, and moved on from the topic.

…

At least I think it was a joke.

Yeah. That's how yesterday was. I guess no one will probably read this and get anything important that can be used for blackmail, so that's good.

Maybe something interesting will happen tomorrow, I don't know. I don't know when the next time I'll write in this, because I'll probably forget to like, every day, but yeah. I'm not sure how to end journal entries. Do you just end with an event? Do you say love? Sincerely? I'm not sure that I really love this journal, but 'sincerely' is too formal, so I guess I'll just end it with a 'from' or something. Until next time, I guess this is the end of what I have to say.

From,

Len

It's terrible, I know. XD Just had to get that out of my system. Maybe I'll edit it later, or delete it, or something, but once I can revive my brain, this is all I'm going to be posting.

I'M SORRY BUT I'VE NEVER HAD A CRUSH BEFORE OKAY. I'M AROMANTIC. I DON'T KNOW HOW ROMANCE WORKS.

No but seriously how does one flirt SOMEONE HELP ME do you suppose "I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you" will actually work (wikihow said you should say that so I used it)

*I don't know what the official name is, but it means really, really, really, really quiet in music language.

I LISTENED TO THE AWESOME FACE SONG WHILE WRITING THIS, AND LET ME JUST SAY, IT'S VERY DEEP. VERY EMOTIONAL.