What can I say? I've been reading a lot of Merlin stuff lately and couldn't help but think that in the centuries he's been alive, Merlin's probably met all but one of the Endless. And then this thing wrote itself. Enjoy?

"What are you doing here?"

"I have no way to reach your sister. Every time I think our date has finally come around she stands me up. So I came to ask you to ask her to come and see me."

"You are in my realm, I know exactly what you want, but how are you here?! I granted you neither access to my gates nor permission to roam my halls, so how exactly did you get into my personal library? Sitting in my chair and reading my books?"

"I did try to go through the appropriate channels. You rather rudely ignored them and I'm getting rather impatient. Or desperate. And what's the point of being the most powerful man ever if you can't bend your dreams to your whim when you need to?"

"This is unacceptable."

"Eject me if you can. But please do pass my request on to your sister."

". . . She cannot see you."

"Pardon?"

"My elder sister has no desire to cause you harm or distress. She has complained about not being able to meet you on occasion. But my elder brother has a claim on you and will not allow her to see you."

"Surely you all act autonomously? It's not like he has any authority over her. I've seen her come for people against his will."

"Against his will, sometimes. But never against his Book."

"And my name is in that Book?"

"I understand you and your king have an entire chapter that for some bizarre reason remains incomplete."

"In spite of the fact that dead men don't write stories?"

"Yes."

"And since the chapter isn't done, I'm not either."

"Correct."

"But it won't finish without the cabbage-head, and she came for him already centuries ago."

"So go and retrieve him."

"Pardon?"

"My elder sister cannot come to you. So go to your king and bring him back. She is not a truancy officer, she will not come to him again."

"The living have never walked among the dead in their own realm."

"I was under the impression that you were educated."

"It's been over fifteen centuries, of course I am."

"Then you are aware of how foolish a statement that was."

"Of course there are stories and legends of one rare man or another trespassing in the world of the dead, but no one has ever come back without consequence."

"They have all had my sister's grudgingly-given assistance, but none have had my brother's blessing. Since it is his fault that she cannot come for you, and he has been fairly dogging your steps since your birth, it may be fair to say that he will not object to you making the journey."

". . . Point."

". . . Out of the chair."

"Fine."

". . ."

". . . If I bring him back with me, she won't take him back?"

"Not immediately. Perhaps not ever, I am not certain. But every living person gets two personal visits from her and he has already had them both."

"Two?"

"She gives you all life at your birth. She says she is the only one who remembers."

"Then shouldn't she have met me at my birth as well?"

"I assumed she had."

"But you said she wants to meet me."

"True."

". . . Can you give me directions to your sister's place?"

"She cannot see you."

"I know she can't come and take me, but I would like to at least meet her. And she probably knows the way to the prat best. I'd prefer to only have to do this once."

"I'm sure she will be pleased to meet you, although I'm not entirely sure why."

"Thanks, I think."

"Think nothing of it."

". . . So are you going to give me directions, or am I going to have to waste another century or two looking for the way to the Underworld?"

"She's in the flat across the street from yours."

"You gotta be kidding me."

"I am not."

"Your brother really does love to mess with me, doesn't he?"

"I am not under the impression that he receives any joy from your strife or irritation. Sometimes the stranger happenings are just coincidence."

"I haven't put much stock in coincidence for well over a millennium. Whether you can see it or not, Destiny has a wicked sense of humor."

"Perhaps."

"Well, thank you for your assistance, Milord Morpheus."

"Get out of my house, Emrys."

"I'm going!"

". . ."

"When he blames me for this going to hell, I'm going to blame you by the way."

"My elder brother does not place blame."

"And I couldn't care less what your brother thinks. Arthur, on the other hand will be calling me a dollophead for not thinking of this fifteen hundred years ago."

"How unfortunate for you. Out, before I call the gryphon."

Let me know what you think?