The Wedding Isn't Even Here and Shit is Already Crazy!
"I'm telling you," Rose said, munching on a bag of chips, "we can just ignore the wedding and just say, done!"
"Rose, we can't just do that," Winter pointed out.
"You're saying that now," Rose muttered.
"There will be a four foot tall cake there," Winter coaxed.
"Make it four and a half and you have a deal," Rose grinned.
"Done. Now you handle the cake I will handle everything else, so you don't do something that would ultimately kill us all"
"Okay," Rose shrugged, less work for her.
"Why did I say yes?" Winter asked.
"Because I was so charming?"
"Because I was blackmailed,"
"Oh come on, you were speechless,"
"Did I ask your opinion?"
"Kinda,"
"This is why I hate you,"
"You fucking love me, literally and figuratively,"
"Don't you have something to do?"
"Oh shit, yeah, yeah," Rose pushed herself up, and walked out of the door.
Hands in her pockets her eyes drooped with boredom. Suddenly as if by magic the world around her transformed. The world became black and white as if from an old school noir movie. Her clothes changed to a brown trench coat, on her head was a fedora. In her mouth was a cigarette, and by her hip were two magnums one she kept loaded and one that kept her loaded. She stuck her hands in her pockets, keeping her head low.
"The dame I had lived with had assigned me a job. She needed information, the cake baker, Ms. Pink, had what she needed. She had other jobs to handle so she sent me after her. I could tell you I wasn't too happy about it. I never was a fan of Ms. Pink, she was always a little too hyperactive for my tastes, never shutting that mouth of hers. Her hair was also annoying, being bright pink and just all around irritating. No matter, I would get this information if it hurt me,"
Walking, Rose rounded the corner. In her way were two goons, both large and stocky.
"Two large gorillas of men. They stood blocking my entrance to Ms. Pink's 'bakery'. No one believed their cover story. There was something sketchy about them and everyone knew it,"
The men moved in front of Rose.
"I looked up at this buffons. They had no idea what was about to happen if they didn't move. I waited, hoping for passage. When it was clear they wouldn't let me pass I pulled out my magnum, and fired a few shots at them. They ducked out of the way then at once they jumped at me."
"Get 'er,"
"I jumped back, I wasn't going to let these goons get me. Reacting quickly I shot them quickly dispatching both of them. Whether they were dead or unconscious was of no concern to me. I pushed my way into the shop. I pull out my flask and take a swig, refreshed by the drink. Standing behind the counter was Ms. Pink, pointing her own gun at me,"
"Aye Didn't thank you'd fiand meh oot," Her canadian accent was thick.
"She was part of the canadian cake cartel, it all made sense now. No time to worry about that now. 'I just need some information, nothing difficult,' I said to her. She looked at me,"
"What information?"
"I replied, 'I need information on a cake,'"
"What kind of cake?"
"'Four and a half feet for a wedding, sound familiar? A friend of mine inquired about it,' I said to her,"
"I think I can help you out with that,"
I showed up at the bakery, at reports of Rose doing something. She had a habit of flying off the handle, so I was nervous. When I arrived, however, I had no idea what had happened. There was a fedora on the ground with a magnum lying next to it. Inside I saw Ms. Pink and Rose discussing the cake, all while arguing about the Canadian Cake Cartel.
"Seems like you are getting along well," I remarked.
"Yes, she has given me all the information needed for me to bring down the Canadian Cake Cartel,"
"I really don't want to know. I forgot my codine, so I have nothing for the headache I am sure would follow,"
"You're never any fun, Snowflake," Rose pouted.
"I need to be your foil, occasionally," I muttered.
"Yeah, yeah whatever. Now come over here and tell me what you think of this cake…"