THE FOURTH TYPE OF WOMAN
By: Lesera128
Rated: M
Disclaimer: I own nothing. HBO and David Milch do. Take anything official up with them.
Summary: Sol Star wasn't the only person who played a major role in Seth Bullock's life during his time in Montana and afterwards. This is the beginning of her story...
Slightly deviates from Deadwood after the first episode of Season Two, but tries to stay as close as possible to canon before that point. AU.
A/N: By the very nature of the television show from which the story is derived, this story contains (some would say excessive) profanity, adult situations, adult themes, etc. Be warned.
The first time she ever saw him, Allie Mitchell was washing clothes. That was how she earned her keep back then. His sister, kind soul that she was, had taken into her home more than one person before the day her younger brother, Seth, arrived at the family homestead in Montana. Callie had taken a liking to her, perhaps in part, because she was amused that their first names rhymed. She was a kind lady, and Allie's life would have been radically different if it hadn't been for the efforts and intervention of Callie Bullock Hawkins.
Allie had never remembered much about her life before she came to live with Callie and John in Montana. There were broken shards of memory... some of the kind that she desperately has tried to remember, and others, well others that she just plain wanted to forget.
The one memory of her life she still recalled with clarity was that of her mother. She had become a member of the wagon train that had them following the Bozeman Trail through the Montana Territory on their way to Oregon. Allie and her mother never had a lot of money, and even fewer belongings, but her mother had been a skilled seamstress. She had always found enough work, either washing or sewing, to keep some food on the table and provide some money for transportation costs. They at least owned their wagon and the two very old oxen who pulled it for them. Those two oxen were amongst Allie's first friends growing up. She called them Steel and Blue... each had the dullest eyes imaginable, but to a child, Allie thought they were a beautiful blue.
The oxen were older than Allie, and so it was no surprise when their health started to fade. The leaders of the wagon train had often warned her mother that they would have to leave the pair behind if the oxen couldn't keep up.
Unfortunately for Allie, it was at that point that her mother was beyond the point of being able to really make any decision of any kind. On the trail, she had picked up the typhus fever, and was barely recovering when she caught a nasty case of dysentary which finished her off. She died before the oldest of the oxen did, although not by many hours.
After she received news of her mother's passing, the next few days were a blur. The head of the wagon train reluctantly paid heed to the reverend who had been traveling with the group. It was agreed that the least honor that could be paid for the good of Allie's mother's Christian soul was a decent burial.
It was perhaps the intervening hand of fate in that the wagon train decided to bury Allie's mother near where they were close to stopping to resupply, just outside Fort Smith on the trail. Allie was only fourteen when her mother died, and with her soul's departure from this world, there wasn't any other kin that she could rightly call family. She had never really known all that much about her mother's family anyway, although she reckoned that she might have an aunt and some cousins somewhere in Ohio as that was where her mother had been born. Only once had her mother ever spoken of a younger sister named Ida who had lived and married in the Ohio River Valley, but with her mother's passing, seeking out her sister never really occurred to Allie.
"How old are you, gal?" The wagon train's leader eventually came to ask Allie shortly after the conclusion of the burial ceremony.
Allie looked down, somewhat submissively out of respect, and said softly, "Fourteen."
"And was your ma your only kin?"
She nodded. "Yes, sir."
"What about your daddy?"
Allie paused to consider this before merely shrugging. "I never knew who my daddy was, sir."
And that was at least true. One of the few things Allie knew about her father was that her mother hadn't been married to him when she was born. He could have been alive or dead or somewhere in between for all Allie knew or really cared.
The leaders of the train were conversing when a couple of the men from the fort came over to join them in their discussions. Little did Allie know that her fate would ultimately be decided in short order not three feet away from where she stood, seemingly without any of her own input or concern if the leaders of the wagon train had their way.
"Well, let her stay on with the wagon train. Her wagon is sound and she still has one oxen..."
"Who saw his best days long before Dan Shaw walked this earth, and that man's been dead for twenty-three years!"
"I say let her go her own way. She's plenty old enough by the looks of her..."
"Or me and my wife could take her in..."
The voice was quiet, and it was only when Allie looked up did she realize that it came from the kind visage of one of the men who had walked up to the train from Fort Smith.
"Why'd you do a thing like that?" the wagon train's leader asked with a suspicious look.
"Because it's the right thing to do," the man said evenly. "And, besides, my wife Callie needs some help around the house. You said she was go with a needle, right?"
The other men nodded. "Almost as good as her ma was."
"Well, all right then. We've got plenty of room as our place which is just outside Helena. And I think Callie wouldn't mind having another woman around to gossip with and to help with the young ones..." the man paused before he added, "assuming of course, that she wants to come with me."
The wagon train leader looked up and spit on the ground before he called out to Allie, "Hey, gal, get on over here for a minute."
She moved slowly, but very deliberately, from the spot on which she had stood, her head downcast, her eyes on the ground, and her hands clasped behind her back. It was only when she saw the feet of the wagon train's leader that she stopped.
He spoke quickly. "You hear what we were talking about, gal?"
Allie nodded once.
"And do you want to go with this man to help his missus with their house and youngins?"
It was at this point that Allie lifted her gaze, just a tad bit defiantly, to look into the eyes of the man from the fort. He nodded as she looked at him, slowly, before he said, "My place is just outside Helena. We'd trade you room and board and maybe even a little pin money here and there if you'd be willing to help Callie with the children, meals and such, and some other chores around the house."
"That'd be agreeable to me," Allie said slowly. She then cautiously extended her hand, and the man grasped it firmly to seal the deal.
"My name is John Hawkins."
"Pleased to meet you, Mr. Hawkins."
He smiled as he nodded. "Let's head back to the fort. I've still got some business there I need to finish up before we ride out."
"Ride?" Allie asked with uncertainty clouding her voice.
He nodded. "I assume you know how?"
She shook her head slowly, not really sure how to respond. "I've been on a horse once or twice, but the damned thing almost broke my neck, and since I was with ma, I've stayed either in the wagon or on the oxen."
"Well then, perhaps we'll be able to trade your wagon and the remaining ox for some type of mount from you, and I'll help you learn to ride well enough to get us home before daybreak if that's agreeable to you?" John said.
Allie nodded again slowly. "Yes, that would be agreeable to me."
"Good." He turned around and started walking back to the fort to make the arrangements. Allie, however, remained where she was, somewhat unsure of herself. After a few paces, when John realized Allie wasn't following him, he turned and asked, "Aren't you coming...?"
Allie took a step forward as she shrugged and said rather nonchalantly, "I suppose."
"Then come along..." He paused for a moment before he added, "You know, I don't think I caught your name in all that."
It was at this point that for the first time in her life, but definitively not for the last, Allie looked a man squarely in the eyes and said proudly, "Allie, Allie Mitchell's my name."
He nodded once more, and then they were on their way.
Callie had been a bit surprised when John arrived somewhat later than expected at their homestead accompanied as he was by a mere slip of a thin, almost half-starved girl who had dark hair and dark eyes. Indeed, Allie's arrival at John and Callie's home eventually turned into a pleasant set of events for all involved once Callie saw that Allie was merely an orphan whom someone had tried to raise up right but had had little-to-no luck at all in the goings on of her life.
Callie's first reaction on meeting Allie had been both unexpected and somewhat unnerving for Allie. She quickly she found herself swept up in a strong hug of welcome and then promptly deposited in the warm water of Callie's bathtub with a bar of sweet smelling rose-scented soap and instructions not to leave the water until all the dust and filth of the trail had been scrubbed away. Callie left Allie to her business with a smile, and for the first time in her life, Allie realized that she had made a friend.
Under John and Callie's guidance, Allie spent the first few months of living in Montana doing nothing but learning. In the mornings, after she'd help tended to the Callie's little ones - Thomas was 2 and the baby, Annie, was only a few months old- John set aside enough time so that Allie was able to learn the rudimentary skills needed to get from one place to another on a horse. Allie would never make a skilled rider, but John considered it a distinct improvement when she could at least sit a horse and stay in the saddle long enough to get from one end of the corral to the other.
In the afternoon, Callie worked with Allie on her letters as Allie had had very little formal schooling during her childhood. When Callie heard of what she considered such a gross oversight given Allie's keen mind, she took it upon herself to school Allie enough so that she could at least read and write her own name. Allie learned quickly, and it wasn't long before she was reading and writing as well as Callie, who had herselfattended school for a few years which growing up in Ontario.
As Allie's education grew, so too did her confidence. However, whatever person she had been growing into changed drastically the day Seth Bullock rode his horse into the homestead's corral.
He was seventeen, several years younger than Callie, and a handsome boy for his age. Allie was on the porch folding laundry when Seth rode in, calling out to John in greeting. John immediately got up from where he had been reading the daily newspaper from his favorite spot on the porch and turned his head towards the house.
"Callie!" John yelled.
There was a ruckus as John almost never yelled. Allie could here Annie start crying in the background before the door was flung open and Callie appeared, red-faced and out of breath, a few seconds later. She first looked to John who merely pointed to where Seth was hitching his horse to the post. As soon as she saw her brother, Callie immediately sighed and smiled at the same time.
"Seth!" she called out, somewhat exasperated as she walked down the steps of the porch. "Again?"
"And for the last time," he said simply as he finished tethering the horse to the hitching post.
"Did you even tell anyone you were going?"
"Ma knows I'm gone. I expect Pa does too by now since I left Ontario a good two weeks ago," he said as he moved forward and crushed his sister in a hug. "It good to see you, Callie."
The baby was still crying, and Seth reached forward to take Annie in his arms. "And this must be my new niece, who looks a whole site prettier than she did the last time I saw her seeing as she was still in her mama's belly at the time."
Annie immediately stopped crying as soon as she was in Seth's hands. Her brown eyes looked into his, almost as if she were trying to figure him out. After a moment, having seemingly made her decision, Annie threw her arms in the air and squealed in amusement.
"Guess she's happy to see me, too," Seth said with a half-laugh.
Callie nodded, "All right then. Come on in. Are you hungry? It's probably been ages since you've had a decent meal."
"Sure thing. Just need to get my saddle bags stowed and see to the horse first," Seth said. "I assume my room is still my room unless you've changed where the nursery is?"
Seth had placed the baby back in Callie's hands and had bounded down the steps two at a time before Callie called out to him, "It's funny you should mention that. We're actually going to have to fix up the guest room upstairs for you because we've let Allie take your old room since she's been with us."
Stopping, Seth turned around and said, "Oh? Who's Allie?"
Callie nodded up at where Allie had been sitting in the shadows of the early evening. However, before Allie thought Seth could glance up to where she had been sitting, Allie dashed away around the corner and took refuge in the kitchen gardens, which were behind the house.
At that point, Allie didn't know why, but even then she had realized that as soon as he looked at her... as soon as he talked to her, Allie knew her life would never be the same again. She knew her life, her destiny wouldn't be her own ever again, and there was a very large part of her that wanted to forestall that inevitability for as long as possible.
She managed to avoid him for exactly two hours.
Seth finally cornered Allie in the nursery when she was putting Annie to sleep later that night.
"Evening, ma'am."
His soft voice surprised Allie so much that she almost dropped the baby. The softness of his voice was only slightly less surprising than the fact that that was the first time anyone had ever called her anything other than 'gal' or by her given name.
"Good evening, Mr. Bullock," Allie returned the greeting after a moment. She smiled as she took a breath and looked up at him, meeting Seth's gaze of curiosity directly. "Is there anything I can do for you?"
He smiled that smile of his, the one thing that made Allie know she was doomed even at the mere age of fourteen.
"Just came to say goodnight to my niece. Callie said you were putting her down, Miss..."
She smiled shyly, "Mitchell. It's Allie Mitchell."
"Miss Mitchell," he said with another smile.
And for the first time in her life, Allie said something so daring that she thought her heart would jump out of her throat. "No, to you, it's just Allie."
He nodded once. "All right." He looked up at her, directly staring into her with those piercing brown eyes of his and said, "Allie."
He smiled once more, gave Annie a kiss goodnight, and then was gone as quickly as he had come, taking Allie's heart with him.
The next few years passed in a blur for Allie. Seth spent them coming and going between John and Callie's house and the work he he shared with John in the territorial legislature in Helena. However, every time he came back, it was almost as if he had never left as far as his interaction with Allie was concerned. At first, things were casual enough. Seth and Allie were two real good friends who were sorely in need of companionship. He was almost three years older than her, so it was some time before he viewed Allie in any different a light than as he saw Callie or any of his other family members.
When Allie was seventeen, all that changed, quite innocently enough. On that particular visit home, in the spring of 1869, Seth got it in his head that, given all he had seen in all the places he had traveled in and around Helena, apparently he was one of the few men in Montana with the desire and aptitude to honorably bring lawful order to chaos of the territory.
"You think John's connections in the territorial legislature can help get me a post as sheriff in one of the southern counties, Callie?" Seth had asked.
"Is it what you really want?" Callie asked earnestly in response.
Seth slowly nodded.
Callie nodded herself in response. "We'll talk to him when he gets home then."
As always, Allie remained silent and in the background despite the fact that she suddenly knew that if Seth were appointed sheriff, it would be of major significance to both of them, although, at that particular point in time, Allie wasn't even sure what it was exactly that existed between them, if anything at all.
A few hours later, Seth found Allie sitting in the vegetable garden starring up at the night sky as she watched the stars. He plopped down beside her and said, "Callie's been looking for you. She's been calling for you for almost a half hour."
"I hadn't heard," Allie replied, annoyed at Seth having invaded her personal reverie. She had been morose all evening since she had heard John agree to arrange Seth's appointment.
He nodded once, scanned the garden, and then said, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong," Allie countered, just a bit too quickly.
Somewhat unconvinced, Seth said, "Mmm hmm."
"Seriously, Seth, nothing's wrong." She paused before she nodded at the house. "Go on up and tell Callie I'll be right in..."
Seth paused for a moment before he said, "You know, Allie, even if John can arrange a post for me as sheriff in one of the counties surrounding Helena, it may be some time before I can actually be appointed."
Allie looked up in surprise. A moment passed before she responded, "Yes, I know."
Seth merely stared at Allie for a moment, his eyes darkening to a brown that was so dark it was almost black as he ran his eyes up and down Allie's visage once more. He then smiled in that annoyably patient way of his before he said, with a glint of something very unusual in his eyes, "You know, Allie, I don't know if I've said it before, but you look very pretty tonight."
He then turned and was gone before Allie could process exactly what had just happened.
If someone had asked Allie to pinpoint an exact turning point in her relationship with Seth, she thought it probably would have been on the night that he gave her that first compliment. Of course, Seth had disappeared again on one of his walkabouts and was gone as soon as John had called in a few favors and had arranged for Seth's appointment in nearby Lewis County, although he was not officially appointed sheriff in his own right until early 1873.
But, despite his duties and responsibilities in Lewis County, Seth still managed to come to see John and Callie and his growing brood of nieces and nephews every few weeks. And, to see Allie if one were to be completely honest.
Things progressed slowly, partially because of his distance, and mostly because of her fear.
On one particularly enjoyable visit during the first summer after his official appointment as sheriff, Allie found herself sitting in the kitchen garden behind the house on a blanket with her back leaning gingerly against Seth's sitting form. Allie continued feeding the latest addition to John and Callie's growing family, baby Maddie having celebrated her six month birthday the previous week. Allie watched with interest as she continued holding Maddie's drooping head as the baby battled her conflicting desires to both sleep and to finish her bottle. Eventually, fatigue won the battle as the baby stopped sucking and fell asleep in Allie's lap. The pale light which emanated from the oil lamp which sat to Seth's left, combined with the bright illumination of the pale moonlight, gave just enough light for Allie to see things clearly.
Noticing that the baby had at last fallen asleep, Seth smiled as he leaned in and kissed Allie's neck. "You know, I could get used to this," Seth said softly.
"What's that?" Allie asked quietly. "Acting as John and Callie's perennial baby-sitter every time they decide to go and have another baby? Now that Annie's almost six and Samuel is almost three, I thought I had gotten past the whole bottle feeding/diaper changing thing. Now that they've gone and had another one, I see myself taking care of infants until I'm old and gray."
Seth chuckled. "No. Not that exactly." Shaking his head, he gestured to no where in particular as he said, "What I meant is this whole thing... having a wife, a home... children. The whole thing."
"Why is it that you never seem this enamored of Maddie when she is screaming her head off at three in the morning?" Allie laughed.
Seth shrugged. "I don't know. It's just that this whole thing, this whole baby thing... I think it's something I'd like to do at some point in the near future."
"Seth Bullock, family man?" Allie laughed again. "Somehow I never pictured the fiercesome sheriff of Lewis County wanting to settle down."
"Oh, I want to settle down," Seth said. "I just have to get things put straight before I do."
"So long as you don't forget the bit about finding the perfect girl before you settle on that whole issue of the baby making, hmm?" Allie chided.
Allie turned her head, expecting Seth to laugh. She immediately frowned when she saw he wasn't even smiling. The look that was suddenly on his face wasn't one that Allie could rightly describe, but it was one that made her heart skip a beat at the same time a knot of fear tightened in her stomach.
"And what would you say if I said I think I've already found the perfect girl?" Seth asked, looking directly at Allie.
Allie replied slowly, "And who's the lucky girl, Mr. Bullock?"
He shrugged and said nonchalantly, "Oh, I don't know. Maybe... you."
In order to break the heavy sheet of tension which had suddenly settled over Allie, she laughed. "Now you're just making fun of me." She paused and then nodded at him as she said, "This is your way of punishing me for yelling at you when I caught you down at the creek, isn't it?"
Seth laughed. "Well, while it's true that I don't think I necessarily deserved to be yelled at like that-"
"-despite the fact that when I was doing the yelling it was because you were peeping!"
"How was I to know that you were going for a swim without anything on?" Seth chuckled. "Besides, it's not like you didn't do it to me first. Where do you think I got the idea from?" he asked mischievously.
"I did not!" Allie protested. "That was sheerly by accident... Allie sent me to fetch you and Sol for supper..."
"And you scarred poor Sol for life screaming as you did when we tried to dunk you in the creek," Seth laughed again.
Every so often on his visits home, Seth would bring home one of the friends he had made, either in Helena or elsewhere thereabouts in the travels his duties as sheriff of Lewis County took him. By far, Allie had liked Sol Star best when he came visit... so much so that Sol soon became not just a friend to Seth, but a good friend to Allie as well.
"Well it's not exactly every day that two virile men such as yourself come running out of the creek trying to throw me in... and, it's not like I'm the best swimmer in the world, so how was I supposed to know that you all weren't going to try and drown me or something?" Allie said. Looking over her shoulder again as she shifted the baby from one arm to the other, she added with a chuckle, "Besides, it's not like you or Sol don't have anything that I haven't seen a hundred times before..."
It was Seth's turn to chuckle. "Although it would be kind to keep in mind that anything that may or may not have been seen by you at the creek was most likely affected by the coldness of the water, and so..."
"Seth Bullock!" Allie laughed. "You aren't suddenly sensitive about something, are you?"
Seth laughed again, shaking his head. "No, I'm just saying... I wouldn't want to misrepresent myself, especially to one such as yourself, who I would hope-"
Looking up with a glint of mischief in her eye, Allie said, "What is it that you hope, Seth?"
Leaning back a bit, Seth shrugged. "Nothing."
Allie playfully punched him. "Oh, come on. You can't start to say something like that and not tell me what you were going to say."
"If I tell you," Seth said carefully, "How do I know that you won't suddenly get shy on me and then things will suddenly get awkward again, and we'll be right back to talking about how a dip in the creek this time of year suddenly makes me have to worry about issues of shrinkage..."
Narrowing her eyes, Allie said, "I don't know..." She paused for a moment before lifting her gaze to Seth's as she said, "But, I'm willing to try if you are."
"All right," Seth said slowly. "But, first, put Maddie in her basket."
"Why?" Allie questioned. "She's sleeping."
"And she'll continue sleeping just fine in her basket for a few minutes. If we're going to talk serious, than I want it to be just between you and me, okay?" Seth said.
Slowly nodding her head, Allie said quietly, "All right."
Somewhat reluctantly, Allie moved to place the baby in her basket. Adjusting the blankets around her, Allie took a moment or two to make sure that Maddie was well situated in her bassinet before turning to face Seth who now sat with his legs crossed some two or three feet away from her.
"Okay," Allie said with an air of unease about her countenance. "I'm ready," she said as she squared her shoulders and folded her hands in her lap.
Looking up, Seth raised an eyebrow in amusement as he said, "Ready for what exactly?"
"Ready for whatever it is that you want to talk to me about," Allie said carefully.
"Then why is it that you look like you're expecting to face a firing squad at any moment?" Seth asked. Lifting his arms in a gesture of placation, he said with a gentle laugh, "I promise, I'm not armed, Allie."
"Just because you don't have your gun with you doesn't mean you aren't armed," Allie said with a half-nervous laugh.
Seth cocked his head at Allie, leaning in for just a moment before he said, "And how's that?"
Allie bit her lip, realizing she had suddenly started flirting with Seth when she hadn't even meant to... at least, she didn't think she had meant to...
Looking up into his eyes, which suddenly seemed a bit darker than usual, Allie felt her throat go uncomfortably dry as she finally forced herself to mutter, "I'm not sure."
Seth laughed again, and his laugh did nothing but suddenly make Allie very angry. She didn't understand how he could feel so at ease in a situation when she was being driven to distraction. His confidence was infuriating to her.
Looking up, Allie licked her lips before she said, somewhat uncertainly, "You wanted to talk?"
Nodding, Seth leaned back a bit, and said, "I did."
"All right," Allie said. "So talk."
Seth laughed again, although Allie noticed, it was a distinctly different laugh than the one which had infuriated her just a few seconds before. This laugh, Allie almost would have sworn, was one with just a touch of nervousness in it. "Now that I have your attention, I'm not sure what to say," Seth said honestly.
Allie shrugged. "You sure this isn't a case of you having something to say, and suddenly you just aren't sure how to say it... or is it maybe a case where you suddenly aren't sure you want to whatever it was that you were going to say in the first place at all?"
Seth's brow furrowed as he said, "Now, what does that mean?"
Allie averted her gaze as she said softly, "It's been no great secret around here that I care about you, Seth... Or, how is it that Callie's put it? She thinks that I 'fancy' you?"
Seth suppressed a smile as he looked up and said, "And do you?"
"Do I what?" Allie asked, suddenly nervous again just as Seth seemed to have found a new source of confidence.
Leaning in, Seth lowered his voice as he whispered, "Do you 'fancy' me?"
His warm breath played on Allie's neck and earlobe sending a shiver down her spine. She felt the world spin for a moment before pulling back and looking into Seth's eyes, "And if I was to say I did?"
Seth smiled, "The feeling might be mutual."
Raising an eyebrow, Allie asked, "Anyway to know for sure one way or the other?"
Seth shrugged as he said playfully, "I'm afraid the only way to find out an answer to that particular question involves me kissing you..."
"You kissing me? And how is that going to-"
Allie was suddenly cut off as Seth quickly leaned in and gently kissed her. At first, the kiss was soft and tender. Allie felt her world fade in and out of focus as Seth increased the pressure. He tasted so sweet to her, Allie was certain she had never tasted anything better in the world. And just as she was really starting to enjoy herself, Allie felt Seth pull away.
Staring at him wide-eyed, flushed with a comforting warmth flowing throughout her entire body, Allie took several deep breaths as Seth watched for her response. Neither said a word as both continued to look at each other. At last, after several seconds had passed, Allie managed to ask, "Well?"
"Well what?" Seth asked, slightly confused.
"Did you figure out the answer to my question?" Allie asked.
Seth looked at her for a moment before he said, "I'm not sure."
"Good," Allie said as she suddenly felt a new source of brevity guiding her actions. "Then I guess we need to do it again."
This time, Allie leaned forward and found Seth's all too welcoming lips waiting for her. Pulling her toward him, Allie's hands came up and wound themselves around Seth's head as he began to deepen their kiss. Allie felt her lips bruising, but she didn't care as Seth applied a sweet pressure in an attempt to open her mouth. Somewhat with a feigned reluctance, Allie allowed her lips to part. She immediately felt another wave of warm sweetness as Seth's tongue tentatively entered her own mouth. Struggling for breath, the pair only parted when breathing became a necessity. Seth took the opportunity to gently push Allie down on the blanket.
As he lay over her, he smiled down at her and said softly, "I do love you, you know? I have from the first minute I saw you folding Callie's laundry on the porch. I couldn't help thinking then who was that beautiful creature who has stumbled into my life? Even if I didn't know the answer then, I sure do now."
"And it only took you three years to say something?" Allie said with a sly grin.
Seth smiled. "What can I say? I'm can be a slow learner at times."
"I love you, Seth," Allie said softly. "I always have, and I always will."
Nodding with a smile, Seth leaned down to kiss Allie again when Maddie suddenly began to cry in her bassinet. Allie rolled her eyes with a sigh as she gently pushed Seth away. Letting her up, somewhat reluctantly, Seth planted a kiss on her cheek as she sat up. Reaching for the baby, Allie nodded at Maddie and said, "And you're still sure that you want one of your own even if it means interruptions at the most inopportune moments like this?"
Seth nodded with a smile. "If you're their mother, there's no other way I'd have it."
Allie laughed. "One day, I'm going to remind you having made that statement."
"One can hope," Seth said grinning, "One can definitively hope."
During the following week, John and Callie watched the noticeable change in behavior between Seth and Allie.
Callie watched Allie finish gathering the means for an afternoon meal as she said, "Seth's going to teach me how to shoot, Callie. We're going to take a picnic lunch if you think you can spare me the afternoon."
Callie shot a look to John who was seated at the kitchen table sipping a cup of coffee as he read the latest copy of the newspaper.
"Of course," Callie said. "Enjoy yourselves."
Nodding with a grin, Allie disappeared outside. Only when the pair were certain they were alone did John, never looking up from his paper said, "I hope they don't enjoy themselves too much."
"And what exactly is defined as 'too much' nowadays, John?" Callie said playfully.
John set his paper down with a glint in his eye he nodded to where Maddie lay asleep in her bassinet as he said, "If the Bullock men prove to be as fertile as the Bullock women have turned out to be, Allie may be in for more than she's bargained for."
"Maybe it's time I gave him Ma's ring," Callie said thoughtfully.
John took another sip of coffee as he said, "You think you can do it unobtrusively enough so that Seth won't take offense?"
"Well," Callie began, "I don't think there is any question he plans to do right by Allie, John. He's had stars in his eyes for days. He's clearly in love with the girl. I just don't want him to end up with a baby on the way before he's settled into his job in Lewis and has a house to take a wife to..."
"Even if that wife is Allie?" John asked evenly.
Callie looked up in indignation as she said quickly, "I trust her with the lives of my children, John. If that doesn't indicate to you what kind of women I think Allie Mitchell is and moreover how much I respect and trust her, I don't know what would."
John raised his hand in placation. "No offense was intended. I like Allie too. I'm just playing devil's advocate. She's a fine girl with a good head on her shoulders. And if they're in love, that makes the match even more preferable. All I'm saying is that some might question her background if they knew what kind of family the wife of the Lewis County Sheriff had come from."
"She's come from our family," Callie said evenly. "And that's all that matters if Seth loves her and Allie loves him."
"But even still..." John protested.
"But even still," Callie said in agreeance, "I'll find a way to pass Seth the ring and maybe have a little chat with Allie about how to deal with men when they've got nothing but sex on the brain..."
John laughed. "Sounds like an ideal plan then."
"I only hope she doesn't start puking up her guts before I can put it into effect," Callie laughed. "Although, between you and I, I can't think of anything that would please Seth more than being a father aside from marrying Allie."
"Allie, how much exactly do you know about... well, about boys?" Callie asked one afternoon as the pair sat on the house's porch folding laundry.
Allie, taken aback with surprise, paled for a moment before Callie raised a hand and said, "Now, the only reason I'm asking is because I know since your Ma died you haven't had many girlfriends to talk this kind of thing over with, and I'd like to think that maybe I could help fill either void..."
Her lips suddenly having gone very dry, Allie licked them before she managed to say, "I'd like that, Callie."
Callie let out a huge breath of relief as she began to fold clothes again and said softly, "Now, you know as I am I don't really beat around the proverbial bush in most matters. I find it saves time if one just says what one means directly."
Looking up, Callie waited for Allie to nod in acknowledgment before continuing.
When she did, Callie nodded herself before pressing on. "Good." She paused only for a second to try and figure out the best way to frame her words before saying, "Now, what happens between you and my brother is between the two of you. And since it's really not my place to counsel Seth I just want to let you know that while he may be an apt tutor when it comes to certain... certain processes, that doesn't mean he knows everything about everything."
Allie, who had flushed bright red when she realized what Allie was talking about managed to at last say in a voice which was barely above a whisper, "We haven't really done that yet, Callie."
Callie, taken aback by Allie's words stared openmouthed at the other woman before finally responding, "Oh."
"At least, I don't think we have," Allie amended when she noted Callie's surprise.
Callie smiled immediately, dropping the shirt she was folding. Patting the place on the bench next to her, she smiled as she said, "Well, why don't you come over here, and we'll find out. Because, either way, I know my brother, and if he hasn't done certain things to you or with you yet, it's just a matter of time, and I see no reason why Mr. Seth Bullock should have you at a distinct disadvantage, information-wise, hmmm?"
Allie laughed as she shook her head. "No, that wouldn't be a good thing now, would it?" She paused before she looked up and said, "But you're right. He does want to... I think he just has been worried that since he's leaving at the end of the week, that it would be rushing things."
"It'll happen in it's own due time and course," Callie said earnestly. "Whether it's this trip home or not. Either way, I have a few suggestions that might just put my little brother off his mark, which would delight me to no end if you'll indulge the gossip in me?"
Allie laughed with a nod.
"Good," Callie said. "Then the first thing you should know is this..."
For all of Callie's good intentions, her conversation with Allie actually proved to be of little use to Allie in the following weeks and months. While Seth's coming home to visit was never a problem, it was the actual getting of him to stay long enough for Allie to feel comfortable enough to proceed in an intimate endeavors that was the actual issue. Once or twice, Seth had even suggested that perhaps Callie might like to accompany John on a visit to Lewis County all the while fooling no one as anywhere Callie went Allie was certain to follow.
Instead, a pattern developed so that just when Allie was feeling comfortable enough during the rare occasions that found her alone with Seth, when the both of them were in a similarly minded mood as far as expressing their expression physically, often the two would never progress beyond what Seth liked to call Allie's practice of leaving him in a sorry state of affairs where often as not a dip in the coolness of the creek was the only thing that could bring him comfort. Seth never pressured Allie in any way, only taking what she would give him willingly, and sometimes it distracted Allie to no end that things had quickly developed into a stalemate between the two of them.
That stalemate was broken through actions of neither of them in the August of 1873.
Earlier that summer, Seth had promised to return home for a nice long stretch of time which Allie had hoped to put to use concerning her desire to resolve the stalemate which had developed surrounding the issue of their physical intimacy. Allie had helped Callie plan a celebration in honor of Seth's twenty-fourth birthday which was marked at the end of July.
However, when first one week went by and no word was heard from Seth, Allie was mildly annoyed but thought nothing of it. Sometimes his duties as sheriff kept his schedule from being his own, and that was something Allie had grown used to in the past months.
When a second week passed by with still no word of Seth or his imminent plans, Callie's concern was enough to fuel an unexpected trip by John to Helena to inquire as to his brother-in-law's whereabouts. After another week had passed, John returned, accompanied by a second rider. When Allie saw John and the other rider in the distance from the porch, she immediately knew something was wrong.
By the time John and his companion reached the house, Allie had felt the blood drain from her entire being as she saw John helping a ragged-looking Seth down from his horse.
Callie was the first to move, running down the stairs towards her younger brother. "My God, John, what's happened?"
John's brow furrowed in a rare show of anger as he said, "I'll tell you what's happened. That god damn doctor in Lewis County doesn't know how treat a one-legged baboon let alone a human being."
"I'm fine, Callie," Seth managed to mumble. "Really."
"Like hell you are," John said. "He took a bullet to the shoulder in a stupid scuffle over trying to serve a warrant on a horse thief, and because the goddamn doctor doesn't know how to competently treat any type of injury whatsoever, by the time I got to him in East Helena, the damn wound had become infected so badly they thought they might have to take the arm."
"Which I wasn't going to let them do," Seth said in protest.
"Which is how I found him in the jail, having barricaded himself in one of the cells with the fever and infection just getting worse and worse," John said with great consternation.
Callie sighed. "Will he be all right, John?"
John nodded slowly, as Seth replied, "I'll be fine, Callie."
"As soon as he gets some time to rest," John added. "He's not expected back in Lewis until the first of October."
Callie extended her hand to Seth, "Good, then let's get you settled." Seth nodded as he slowly followed his sister up the porch stairs. It was only when he saw Allie step out of the shadows that his eyes widened slightly. He dropped Callie's hand and immediately reached out to Allie. Allie remained still for a moment, the tears of fear that had threatened to overwhelm silently spilling down her cheeks as she suddenly raced forward and reached out to Seth in a hug so fierce he almost lost his balance.
"I'm all right," Seth whispered. Allie said nothing as he softly stroked her hair. "I promise," he whispered again. "I'm all right."
Pulling away to look at him, Allie said with a genuine, albeit teary smile, "Welcome home, Seth. Welcome home."
Allie remained still thinking that Seth had fallen asleep. Although her back was beginning to ache slightly from having sat so still as Seth napped with his head in her lap, Allie considered it a small price. The pair remained where they often enjoyed their alone time together, on a blanket either in the kitchen garden or closer towards the creek where more privacy was afforded to them.
It had been two weeks since Seth's return home, and it was on this evening when Allie had agreed to stargaze with Seth that they were alone for the first time. All the fear and anxiety which Allie had felt given Seth's injury and her conflict in being close to him had left her in turmoil.
"Sometimes I wish you weren't so goddamn patient," Allie muttered more to herself than Seth as she thought him to still be asleep.
Although his eyes remained closed, Seth said quietly, "Maybe I was only being patient so as not to scare you any more than I already thought I had."
Allie's eyes widened slightly at his words, but she remained silent for a moment. Seth slowly opened his eyes and looked at Allie in askance of a response.
Sighing, Allie said, "It's not you that's scared me, Seth."
Sitting up slowly, Seth turned to look at Allie and said, "Then why is this the first time in forever that you've brought this up?"
"Maybe I was scared that I was losing you-"
"And I've already told you that you could never lose me-"
"-either by my inaction or by the unending peril your goddamn profession seems to put you in on a daily basis," Allie finished.
Seth sighed. "Then it seems that whatever reasons spurred you on in the bringing of this topic up for discussion, be it intentional or otherwise, they all seem to share the commonality of fear when things come right down to it."
Allie bit her lip and was quiet for a moment before she said, "You know I never really talk about what my life was like before John and Callie took me in, right?"
Seth remained quiet, merely nodding in response.
"Didn't you ever wonder why I never talked about my past?" Allie asked.
Seth shrugged. "I figured it was something unpleasant that you didn't want to talk about, and as that seemed to be your preference on the matter, I didn't want to push things needlessly."
It was Allie's turn to remain quiet for a moment before she said, "I don't remember a lot about my childhood. I remember bits and pieces - my ma sewing in the morning because that's when the light was best - or the color of the eyes of the two ancient oxen she bought when she decided to leave Pennsylvania... that's where I was born, I think, somewhere near Philadelphia or other, but I'm not really sure. Either way, when she decided to leave there and try to make our fortunes in the west, she figured that life might be a bit easier for a single woman who had a nameless bastard to look after by herself as best she could."
Allie paused and looked up to see Seth's response. Although he remained quiet, she could feel the intensity of his gaze as she nodded.
"That's right, Seth. I never knew who my daddy was. I never had his name. The only person I had to take care of me was my momma because she had an affair with a married man who in turn wouldn't divorce his wife to marry his mistress when she became pregnant. If anything, it only spurned him forward to end their association as any such child in the politeness of Philadelphia was sure to be a moral embarrassment to such an upright citizen and integral member of society as my pa was... My ma thought we might be able to escape that stain of shame which she and I have borne since my birth, being so far away from Pennsylvania as we've been, but it's never mattered how far we went. It never even mattered after she died. I thought for a while, especially after John and Callie took me if, that the shame of my birth might have died with my mother, but I can't in right consciousness allow a decent and honorable man like yourself try to get close to a woman who has nothing to offer you aside from the fact that she is only a nameless bastard with no hope for a future that doesn't figure that aspect of my parental inheritance into the equation of my life."
Allie paused once again, turning away from Seth's gaze as she did so, more to take a second to surreptitiously wipe the tears which had began to silently fall down her cheeks than to emphasize her point. She only turned back when she felt the gentle pressure of Seth's hand cupping her cheek and turning her face towards his.
"Is that where all that fear has been coming from all this time? Is this why you've been so scared every time I try and get close to you?" Seth asked quietly.
Allie immediately felt a wave of guilt sweep over her causing her to merely turn her head away again by way of an answer.
Seth sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "I am so sorry that you've had to deal with this all on your own, Allie. If only you'd told me sooner, I would have been able to take care of things long before now instead of wasting time trying to wait for the perfect moment to give you this."
His words catching Allie's attention, she slowly turned her head. She was slightly confused until she saw the glint of a gold band shine in the faint light of the oil lamp which burned beside the pair. Allie looked up in surprise, as Seth smile faintly.
"I'd been hoping to set aside enough money to buy some land in East Helena for a house so I could build it and have it ready to take you to as soon as we were married... I didn't want you to have to be on the mercy of John and Callie's kindness as a married woman..." Seth's voice trailed off.
"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Allie asked carefully.
Seth let out a breath as he smiled and said nervously, "If you think what I am saying is something along the lines of me asking you to marry me, than the answer to your question is yes."
Allie stared wide-eyed at him, shock evident on her face.
Seth held out the ring to her. Her hands were shaky as she lift them towards the ring which he proffered. "I meant what I told you three years ago, Allie. I love you. I always have and I always will. And, if you'll have me, I want to marry you."
Allie's eyes widened even further.
"This was my mother's ring... and I'd be honored if you accept it as a pledge of my faith and love and my intentions in honoring you until we can be married," Seth said quickly as the words tumbled out.
Allie felt the tears prick her eyes as she finally spoke. "I don't know what to say."
"Say 'yes'," Seth said with another smile. "And know that I will never use you, never abandon you like your father did your mother. Know that unlike your father, I am choosing you, Allie. You are the only woman I have ever wanted as my wife. And know that I will always be there for you and know that I will always, always love you, Allie Mitchell, no matter what happens in the future."
Allie was crying out right this time, even as Seth gently moved forward to wipe away her tears. "You're breakin' my heart, Allie," Seth murmured.
"As if you haven't already broken mine," Allie said with a gentle laugh as she moved forward and leaned in to kiss Seth. "Thank you."
"For what?" Seth asked confused.
"For restoring a faith which I never even knew I had lost," Allie said softly as she pressed herself up against Seth.
The pair remained kissing for a time before Seth pulled away.
Allie looked at him in concern. "What is it?"
"I can't do this, Allie. Not here, not now. It's not right," Seth said quietly.
Allie looked up, her concern turning to surprise. "I thought this is what you wanted, Seth... I thought I was what you wanted."
Seth's eyebrows immediately arched in concern as he responded, "You are, more than anything in the world. But, I don't want you to do this thinking I told you this just to get you into my bed."
Allie was silent for a moment as she tried to figure out a proper way to respond.
"I want to do right by you," Seth said at last. "I want to eradicate any fears about the future you have because of what you pa did to your ma. And if that means we have to wait until we're married to make love, then I'm willing to wait."
Allie nodded for a moment, and at last she smiled a slight smile as she said, "I love you, Seth."
"I know you do," Seth said as he reached out and pulled Allie into a hug.
Pulling a part just slightly, Allie said, "So how long are we going to have to wait?"
Seth smiled. "I'll talk to John and Callie tomorrow."
A week passed, almost too quickly for both Seth and Allie. John contacted a minister from Helena and Callie rushed about making preparations for the impromptu wedding which was set for the next week.
Five days before the wedding, Seth was awakened in the middle of night when he suddenly realized that he was no longer alone in his room. His hand immediately reached for his gun on the night stand table before a light hand reached over and placed her palm over his.
Allie stood next to the bed, moonlight shining through the window illuminating her pale form. Her hair was loose and unbound, and she wore only a shift.
"What's wrong?" Seth whispered.
Allie smiled. "Nothing."
"Then why are you here? What is it?" Seth asked groggily.
Allie shrugged. "I couldn't sleep."
Seth sat up slightly as he narrowed one of his eyes at her before he asked, "Do you want me to sit with you a while?"
Allie shook her head. "No... I just wanted to be with you. But there's no need for you to get up."
Confusion settled over Seth's groggy visage as his sleep-riddled brain tried to process Allie's words. "But, I don't understand-" he said at last, his voice trailing off.
Allie, somewhat timidly despite the adrenaline that was pumping in her veins, reached forward and placed a hand on Seth's naked chest. "As long as I'm gone by sun up, John and Callie need never know... Especially seeing as how their room is on the opposite side of the house."
"Allie, are you saying what I think you're saying?" Seth asked, still confused.
"Why don't you move over, and we'll find out?" Allie said with a grin.
Seth, somewhat unsure of his actions, frowned as he said, "But I'm not decent."
Allie grinned devilishly. "Good."
Seth's eyes widened as Allie reached for the edge of the comforter. Seth gently rolled over to the other side of the bed, allowing Allie room to slip between the sheets.
Seth remained completely still on his side of the bed as Allie pulled the coverlet over them. Allie waited only a moment before a hand sneaked across the space between them. Her hand gently caressed Seth's torso, sending goose bumps up and down the a now wide-awake form of Seth Bullock.
"You keep doing that, and I'm going to have to go all the way to the creek in the middle of the night to get any relief," Seth croaked.
Allie grinned again, "Who said the creek was the only way for you to get any relief?"
Seth was quiet for a moment, and then he suddenly pulled Allie to him. She was warm and soft and so welcoming, Seth was unsure what to do at first.
He paused in hesitation, his hands hovering just over the straps of Allie's shift as he said quietly, "Whenever you need me to, all you have to do is tell me to stop, Allie, and I will, no questions asked."
Allie nodded with a smile. Seth, still unsure, made his first move, still somewhat uncertain of how to proceed.
Despite his eagerness and intelligence it took the first night and as well as the second for him to really figure things out.
By the third night, Allie held no qualms about letting Seth do what and where he would. Before climbing into bed, for the first time, she slowly let the straps of her shift fall of her shoulders. The shift quickly puddled in a bunch of cloth at her feet. She watched Seth stare at her hungrily as she climbed into bed.
"I figure I might as well save us some time and effort tonight," Allie whispered as she leaned in and molded herself against Seth's side.
"I don't want to do anything you don't want to do, Allie," Seth said. "All you have to do is tell me when to stop."
"I know," Allie whispered.
"We don't have to go any further than we have the past couple of nights," Seth said quietly.
"I know," Allie whispered again.
"We-"
"Seth," Allie said, cutting him off.
"Yeah?"
"Would you please stop talking now?" She said with a slight grin.
Seth nodded with a grin of his own as he leaned in and kissed her.
A short time later, Seth pulled away leaving Allie distracted and not quite thinking right.
"What is it?" she asked with concern.
Seth looked up at her and said in ragged gasps, "Do you remember how I told you that all you had to do was tell me when to stop and we would?"
Allie nodded.
"Well, we are rapidly approaching a point where that statement may no longer prove valid," Seth said as he took in several short breaths of air.
Allie's heart was pounding as she tentatively reached forward and pulled Seth towards her. "I don't think that will be a problem," Allie whispered in his ear.
Seth pulled back only slightly, not saying anything, merely raising an eyebrow in askance. Allie nodded. "Do what you need to do."
Seth didn't need to be told twice. Grabbing for her, in two swift and fluid motions, Allie found herself on her back with Seth's form posed slightly over hers. Allie opened her legs a little wider, and Seth reached down with one hand to guide himself closer to his goal.
Allie gasped when she felt him enter her, surprised at the feel of him. Seth froze at her gasp, and Allie shook her head quickly indicating that he should continue.
Moving so slowly that Allie felt she would be torn in two if he didn't quickly complete his ministrations, Allie grasped onto his shoulders for support in bracing herself against him. Seth then moved to kiss her at the same time Allie felt him thrust forward. His kiss swallowed the small scream which almost escaped from her throat. Seth pulled away slightly, concern flooding his face at the same time he himself winced in pain from where Allie would later realize she had raked her nails across his back.
Allie moved immediately forward and whispered, "I'm all right."
"We can-"
"Just move," Allie whispered, almost pleading. "Just move."
Seth looked at her once and then nodded, coming fully back into her. Allie soon felt the pain begin to subside as she felt something else strange and not entirely describable fill its place. Within the span of three or four movements, she felt another new sensation as Seth moaned silently himself, collapsing against her.
The pair remained breathing heavy for a moment before Seth reluctantly pulled away from Allie. Gasping for breath, he wiped a few beads of sweat from her brow as he moved to kiss her. Before he pulled away, he whispered quietly, "I'm sorry."
Allie smiled, "Don't be. I just hope you're better at this tomorrow than you were today."
Seth grinned with a nod. On the fourth and five nights, he indeed improve his performance with Allie, leaving her in a cloud of happiness and unaware naiveté.
The morning of their wedding dawned bright and clear. Seth awoke first leaving Allie's bed as it was her room to where they had adjourned the previous evening. Coming into the kitchen, Seth was surprised to see John and Allie still in the bed gowns holding a letter. Tears were running down Callie's face, and Seth heard the of a horse as he looked out the kitchen window and saw a rider disappearing down the neighing path that led to the house.
"What is it?" Seth asked simply.
John remained quiet, merely extending towards Seth the parchment he was holding as the only sound emanating from the kitchen was Callie's sobs.
"And so now that Robert's dead, you're going to go chasing after what's left of him so that we might lose you too?" Callie railed.
"It's the right thing to do, Callie," Seth said softly.
"Not on the day of your wedding, Seth," Callie said. "And if you can't see that now, when you wake Allie up today and tell her why you aren't marrying her this morning, maybe she can explain things to you."
"I have to see to Robert and his wife and son," Seth said. "I'll be back as soon as I can for Allie. I'll put things right between us, but I can't in good conscience marry her today. Not until I've seen my brother properly buried and arrangements seen to for his family."
"If you don't marry Allie today, Seth, what makes you think you ever will?" Callie asked ominously.
Seth turned from his sister to his brother-in-law. "I'll speak to Allie before I go. In the meantime, I would ask that you take care of her for me John as my fiancee should be looked after."
John nodded slowly.
"Seth-" Callie protested.
"It's the right thing to do, Callie," Seth said with an air of finality. "Whether your or anybody else can see that or not, it's the right and honorable thing to do."
As soon as Seth finished dressing, he walked to Allie's room and quietly entered it. Shutting the door behind him, Seth gingerly sat on the edge of Allie's bed. He could still see the faint outline from where he had been so peacefully sleeping only an hour before. Allie looked as peaceful and content as he had ever seen her when he moved to brush a lock of hair away from her brow.
Bending forward, Seth then brushed his lips against hers. It took a moment before he felt a response, but when he did, he felt a pain tighten in his chest as he suddenly became infinitely torn between duty and honor and passion and selfish pleasure.
When they at last broke a part, Allie opened her eyes with a smile as she said, "Good morning."
"Good morning," Seth said.
When Allie at last focused her eyes on Seth, she immediately knew something was wrong as she asked, "What is it?"
"There was a messenger," Seth began. "With news from Texas..."
Allie remained quiet as Seth explained the news to her about Robert's death and his plan to travel from Montana to Texas to see to reclaiming Robert's remains and making arrangements for his brother's widow and son.
"If there were any other way I could see in the doing of this, Allie, I would do it," Seth said.
Allie was quiet for a moment before she ventured, "I could come with you."
Seth immediately shook his head, "No. You could only come with me if we were married, and I won't have our wedding day marred by the specter of my brother's ghost. On the day I marry you, I plan it to be a day of only happiness and joy, not one tinged with regret and sorrow about a sibling's loss."
Allie nodded slowly as she then looked down at the ring that Seth had placed on her finger when he had proposed. Reaching down, she reluctantly took it off and handed it to him. Seth looked at her in confusion before Allie said, "Then I would have you keep this with you to remind you of your pledge to me, Seth Bullock, until the day when you can place it again on my finger and claim me as your own."
Seth leaned forward and kissed her. "I promise, Allie, I'll be back. And on the day I next see you, the very first thing I do will place is place this ring, my Mother's ring, back on your finger as I make you my bride."
Allie nodded, tears pricking her eyes. "I love you, Seth."
"And I love you, Allie," Seth said in reply. "Whatever happens, never doubt that."
Allie nodded again. Seth reached for her once more, their kiss lingering long enough so that Allie had hope that Seth might change his mind, but suddenly he pulled away and with a final hug was gone.
In her heart and in her mind, Allie Mitchell realized that she loved Seth Bullock more than she knew was right, but it didn't really matter to her because Allie always expected Seth to have the chance to make things right between them. He was so patient, so loyal, and so damnably honorable and kind... sometimes Allie believed that if anything were to be their downfall, it would be those traits in Seth which she found so endearing.
And on the day that proved to be true, a day which Allie never forgot, as it was the first time Sol Star ever came riding into John and Callie's homestead without Seth, that Allie knew she was damned.
At first, when Allie saw that Sol was alone, she thought something had happened to Seth. Allie immediately began to pray to Christ and all His saints that he be all right. In the end, perhaps news of Seth's death would have been easier on her.
Callie and John met Sol at the front porch. Sol tipped his hat first to Callie and then accepted a handshake from John.
"What is it?" Callie asked nervously, her voice shaking something fierce.
Sol reached into his jacket pocket and brought out several worn-looking envelopes. He took all but one and handed them to Callie.
"What do they say?" Callie asked quietly.
Sol bit his lip before he said with a frown. "Word's came from Texas. Seth's fine. And he's found Robert..."
As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Allie immediately felt tension release. She suddenly felt light as air. Seth was all right. Seth was alive. He was all right, and he was alive...
"Where's Allie?" Sol asked quietly. He nodded at the one remaining envelope in his hand. "Seth wanted me to give this to her personally."
Callie, still somewhat numb with both grief, guilt, and relief over the news Sol imparted to her about Seth's mission concerning his dead, older brother, nodded in the general direction of the back of the house. "In the garden I suppose." Sol tipped his hat once more and moved away to find Allie.
He hadn't taken more than a half dozen steps before he saw her, the elation light up in Allie's face making her look so unlike herself that Sol would later say it was the only time before or since that he had seen Allie looking as what he described honestly and truly happy.
Sol nodded at the porch. "You heard?"
Allie nodded once.
Extending the envelope, Sol's hand shook somewhat as he was still unsure exactly as to what Allie had heard and not heard. "Seth... Well, Seth wanted me to give this to you personally."
Immediately, the hairs on the back of Allie's neck stood straight on end. She could hear the fear evident in Sol's voice. Allie frowned as she took the envelope. "What does it say, Sol?"
"I... That is to say, Seth wanted you to read it yourself in his words, Allie," Sol said nervously.
Allie looked Sol directly in the eye and said, "What does the goddamn letter say, Sol?"
And it was at that point the world seemed to slow down once more. Every so often a few groups of Sol's words managed to break through a haze which had suddenly washed over Allie, an overwhelming haze which threatened to drown her at any given minute.
"...with Robert dead... Seth wanted to do the right thing by William... and Robert's will, combined with the pressure of Martha's parents, who had reached them in Texas before Seth got there, well... he and Martha married last month..."
Despite her damnedest efforts to the contrary, a single tear rolled down her cheek. Allie hesitantly broke the seal on the envelope as she suddenly became aware of Sol's silence, perhaps in reverent honor being paid to the fact that Allie's world was falling a part.
Allie had to do everything she could to keep from screaming out when she reached into the envelope and pulled out a very simple looking but very familiar gold wedding band that was looped on a delicate gold chain.
While the chain was foreign, Allie knew the ring immediately.
Images and Seth's words floated in my mind.
'...And on the day I next see you, the very first thing I do will place is place this ring, my Mother's ring, back on your finger as I make you my bride...'
Allie was eerily quiet for a moment as she finally looked up at Sol and said softly, "So that's it then?" Sol remained quiet promptly Allie to ask again, "That's it?"
Sol looked extremely uncomfortable. He shrugged as he said, "Seth said he wrote everything he had to say in the letter."
Anger flared as Allie immediately responded. "And that goddamned coward Seth Bullock sent you to do his dirty work for him, huh, Sol?'
Allie clutched the ring and the chain so tightly in her palm that she started to feel it cut into her skin. However, she didn't really mind, because at least that sensation was something real. Just as her world was turned upside-down and shattered into a hundred thousand pieces, that one sensation was something Allie could clutch onto... And she did, as at least that was real... The pain. The pain meant she was still alive. And the anger, it meant she could still feel something at least. She wasn't dead after all. And, so, Allie clutched onto the pain and anger as best she could like the life rafts they were.
"I'm so sorry, Allie," Sol replied at last.
Allie nodded again, hastily brushing the tears from her eyes as she repeated her question. "So that's it then?"
Sol nodded slowly as he at last answered. "That's it then."
He was gone in the morning, back to wherever Seth was... Seth and that cold-hearted bitch Martha whom Callie had never liked and whom subsequently I had never much particularly cared for... The only women with hair the color of Martha's blonde were whores... And now, given what she had done, what Seth and his damnable patience and honor and loyalty and kindness had allowed her to do, Martha had proved Allie's theory right.
The next several months Allie spent fighting for her sanity and her health. She spent the months quiet and alone, mourning the loss of Seth, mourning the fact that the first and only man she had ever trusted had broken the one promise it had almost killed Allie to let him get close enough to her to make, and most of all, mourning what might have been.
Every now and then word came about Seth... He had decided to give up his office as sheriff in Lewis County. Being married with a child, Seth wanted a job with more steady income... or so it was said. Martha and William remained in Michigan with her folks until Seth could find somewhere to settle.
It was on the day that Sol came to visit Allie for the last time at John and Callie's house that Allie at last woke up out the haze that had clouded her existence for more than a year simply because Sol had brought word of a new place that would ultimately change Allie's life forever.
"... and we figure given the demand, setting up a hardware shop in Deadwood might turn some real profitable returns..."
For the first time in what seemed like forever, Allie looked up at Sol from across the dinner table and directly addressed him. "Deadwood?"
Sol, somewhat taken aback by her very sudden change in behavior, nodded and repeated the word in confirmation. "Deadwood."
Leaving the dinner table soon after, Allie was so consumed with feeling alive for the first time in what seemed like years that Allie didn't even pay attention when Sol cornered her in the kitchen garden and tried to talk to her one last time.
He spoke of vague generalities, and Allie was so consumed in the making of her new plans that Allie didn't understand at the time what Sol was saying...
"...And I think I could make you happy, Allie, if you'd let me. I realize that I'm not Seth, and I promised myself I would never stand in the way of Seth's happiness when you two were planning to marry which is why I have never said anything about my feelings for you until now, but seeing as how marrying Seth's not really a possibility now, I feel it only right to let you know that I do care for you, and after a time, if the profits are right, I could afford to bring you out to Deadwood to set up house if you'd like..."
Sol's proposal of marriage, his confession of love to Allie, fell upon deaf ears so strange were they to Allie's ears. All she could do was merely smile once and nod as she took his hand, clasped it in her own and said with a kiss to his cheek, "Thank you, Sol."
Confusion reigned over him as Allie then gently dropped his hand and moved past him back to the house.
Allie only then registered Sol's final words as she continued on towards the house. "Does that mean you want to come to Deadwood?"
Allie stopped, turned around, looked Sol straight in the eyes, and said definitively. "Yes, it means I want to come to Deadwood."
Even more confused than before, Sol could only watch as I then disappeared into the house.
Yes, Allie would go to Deadwood. But not for poor Sol. That was a mess of her own making that she would have to deal with at some point in the future, but not now. Deadwood was Allie's one chance, her one hope for settling scores and starting fresh. She would put what Seth Bullock meant to her behind her once and for all and start over. She would be no man's Allie any more. She would be her own woman.
Some weeks later, en route to Deadwood, Allie heard that there were really only three types of women who ever take up residence in a place like there... Women so hot between their legs that the only thing they're good for is whoring, of one kind or another - then, there are others, like the notorious Calamity Jane, that have almost no heat in them because they only way they can survive is to shoot, drink, curse, and fuck like men. And then there is the last kind, the oh so respectable wives, represented by Allie's dear, dear, Martha - prim and proper matrons who are so goddamn icy and so selfishly self absorbed that they can almost make one believe that hell has frozen over as they're so cold and so unfeeling.
'So, where does that leave me?' Allie wondered. 'I'm certainly no whore, and neither am I a woman like Calamity Jane... and I'll be goddamned if I'll ever be like Martha Bullock... Maybe I'll represent the fourth type of woman in Deadwood,' Allie thought. 'I'll be independent, and I'll answer to no one but myself. I can ride well enough, shoot with the best of them, and I can learn to curse just as easily. I've never liked the taste of whiskey, but maybe I can learn. And I certainly am not going to die upon this Earth having had the last man to ever touch me be goddamned Seth Bullock. I will do what I want, when I want, starting with settling my accounts with Seth fuckin' Bullock. I have a score to settle with him, and Deadwood is where I'm going to even accounts... Everything else be damned.'
~The End~