Note: This little one-shot is dedicated to hostilecrayon because she's writing a beautiful Nana/Nobu fanfic which inspired me to write one too and since there aren't many Nobu/Hachi stories around I thought 'oh why not?' and here it is! I hope you enjoy reading it. I always thought they deserved a happy ending.
The Choice
I changed the course of my life… that night…
"Please Hachi! Lie to me if you have to… I will believe it; I will believe anything you say!"
But I could only cry curled up in my bed. There was a moment there when I wasn't listening to what he was saying because my sobs were louder than his voice. I felt lost and I felt so weak...
"I'm sorry…" I tried to speak.
My dear Nobu, I didn't want to put you through that kind of pain. But, did you love me that much you were willing to accept Takumi's child as your own just to be with me? Could I be so selfish to hurt you like that?
I felt as if anything I told Nobu at that time would only seem like excuses to try to justify myself so I just kept crying. But the truth is I was only thinking about my child. She needed her father near… I didn't know what I needed I just knew I couldn't pass that burden on to Nobu. He didn't deserve being on that situation. Maybe if I agreed with everything he was saying it would be easier for him to forget me. But I didn't want him to forget me.
"Hachi! Hachi! Hachi!" I heard him call me. I loved the sound of his voice, I loved the fact that he was trying so hard to reach me between my deepest thoughts and cries. His hands were on my shoulders shaking me to tell him something. I remember wondering for how much longer would he keep on going, when would he give up and leave. I'm so sorry Nobu I couldn't say anything to you back then. I felt like such a horrible person to be doing that to you, to Nana. Nana… where was she on that moment? More tears came pouring down my cheeks, soaking up my pillow, my eyes felt sore and I couldn't feel my throat from all the gasping for air.
Soon enough I realized that his weight was suddenly no longer on me, on my bed. He left an empty space where he had been sitting leaving behind the tingling sensation of his warmth on me.
But then, just like an unexpected rush of strength I was able to lift myself up from the bed. I had probably been hit by the fact that the instant he walked away he would no longer be there for me, that once he left me there things between us would never be the same again and maybe that fear made me get up. I managed to rise to my feet stumbling towards the door of my room; my feet took a couple of minutes to regain balance.
And I was surprised he was still there, standing still with one hand on the entrance door frame as if he was holding it not to fall down to the ground, his head was down looking at the floor. Noticing my presence he looked at me by the corner of his eyes, not fully, I could tell he was avoiding looking at me and I could see he had tears in his eyes. The soft moon light from the window allowed me to see them glittering in the dark. Your heart was wounded wasn't it Nobu? Just like mine was. I remember your back was curved like the weight inside of your chest was too heavy for you to stand upright. I still can't believe I did that to you.
"Nobu…" I whispered sobbing some more. He finally turned his head to look at me and his body stood there in front of me while his hand dropped along side of it. Time stopped on that moment as we both reached for one another step by step craving for each other's comfort. I still don't know how I had the strength to walk the weak I was feeling. I guess the love I felt for him got me stronger.
We do impossible things when we are in love. I think that was what made Nobu embrace me that night. After all I made him go through he came to me, he called out to me, and he hugged me as I cried my eyes out that night tightly gripping the front of his shirt with my shaking hands. I screamed his name out loud with my sore throat, I felt awful for making him go through that. But I loved him, I still do. I wonder if I made the right choice that night.
We stayed like that, just hugging not talking, no words were really needed, not between two people that loved each other the way we did. I'm so sorry Nobu. And you were willing to take me, to stay with me no matter what. I thought that kind of love only existed in movies.
I was wrong.
There was so much that night I almost gave up just like that. Yes… I know I've made the right choice today. Looking back at what my life and my child's could have been if I stayed with Takumi…
Empty, regretful, sad…
Always wondering where he could be, with whom he could be with when I slept alone at our bed the days he was away working…
With Nobu that wouldn't happen because he loved me regardless of us both knowing who the father of my little girl really was. He would never leave me alone or never return my e-mails. He would love me forever the same way he did when he fell in love with me for the first time. I would never be sad, I would never be wondering when he would return home.
He would join me in bed placing one arm around me and then he would kiss the bottom of my neck to whisper me good night in his sweet voice.
My house would never be empty… Shin would be there with Yasu. Nana would be there all the time too, laughing like I haven't seen her laugh for a long time. Satsuke would grow up happy without asking me where her father was all the time. Of course Takumi could come visit her sometimes if he wanted but because her life would be so filled with love she didn't have the need for him that often.
That night I saw the two roads I could follow and I chose to be with Nobu.
That night when I held on to him with all my strength my hands were quivering by fear of loosing him. He pulled me back a few inches so he could look at me in the eyes. I saw his lips turn into a tiny smile by the corners. Despite the tears his eyes were kind. Slowly he moved forward to kiss me.
And I let him.
