Malevolence and Mayhem
Summary: A young Legolas finds himself trapped in a living nightmare. In order to help him, Elladan, Elrohir, Haldir, and Lindir must assist him in escaping from the clutches of the worst creature imaginable: a girl.
This story could be considered a sequel to one of my other stories, "Mischief and Misunderstandings," but it isn't necessary to read the previous counterpart in order to understand "Malevolence and Mayhem." (Though you will probably find this story much more immersing if you do go read the prequel ;D).
Also, thank you to all who reviewed or favorited "Mischief and Misunderstandings," after I completed it.
Any words in a language you don't recognize? A place you've never heard of? Be sure to check the description at the bottom of the chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or any other works of Tolkien.
Chapter 1
To: Lords Elladan and Elrohir
In accordance with your friendship with Prince Legolas of Greenwood, son of King Thranduil, the Lords Elladan and Elrohir of Rivendell, sons of Lord Elrond, have been invited to join in the celebration of Legolas reaching his 25th year. This prestigious event will be accompanied only by…
Elladan skimmed over the seemingly endless descriptions of how significant the celebration was, the "boring stuff" as Elrohir liked to call it, and instead scanned to the bottom where there was a short note written in a slightly untidy hand; seeming even more messy when compare to the pristine calligraphy of the rest of the letter.
Greetings Elladan and Elrohir! I convinced my father to send an invitation to you, he was strangely reluctant; I have no idea why.
At this, Elladan smirked. Last time he and his brother had met Legolas at a fall festival, there had been a small- okay, well maybe not that small- disaster that had involved them. But an accident, relating to a few barrels of enchanted water disguised as wine, was hardly a good enough reason to not want to invite your son's friends to celebrate his begetting day.
Anyways, I've also sent letters to Haldir and Lindir. Hope you can come; it should be lots of fun! Though the amount of time I can spend with you may be a little limited; Ada's now threatening to give me lessons on how to write a proper formal letter. I really hope he's jesting… Actually, it doesn't look like he is. Oh dear… hope to see you soon! Bye!
The last few sentences were extremely messy, as if they had been rapidly scribbled onto the paper without any regard to forming the letters properly or placing them in a straight horizontal line. When Elrohir had first seen them, he had immediately shown the letter to Erestor, and told him that if the Crown Prince of Greenwood could get away with writing like that to lords of distant elven realms, then there was really no point of a lowly lord like himself completing his calligraphy assignment. For some reason, Erestor didn't seem to agree. That had been days ago however, and they were now already on their way to Greenwood.
As Elladan looked at the rather crumpled invitation in his hand he found his impatience to get to the great elven realm increase and a grin spread across his face. With the five friends back together, the possibilities of the things they could do were endless. With a sigh, Elladan rested back on his bed roll and drifted off to sleep whilst thinking of all the adventures and fun they would have. Unfortunately, Elladan was completely oblivious of what truly awaited them in Greenwood, and there was hardly going to be an aspect of enjoyment to it at all.
Saethor looked about nervously; gently tugging at the taunt string of his bow. The forest was turning into disarray all about him. Birds flew as fast as they could, squawking loudly as they went. Squirrels chattered loudly as they leaped from branch to branch; desperately trying to flee from… well, something. Seathor wasn't quite sure what yet, but it surely had to be a fearsome beast to frighten the animals so.
Slowly, the elf warrior crept forward, cautiously keeping an eye out for anything out of the ordinary. They animals seemed to be fleeing from the direction of the main road that twisted through Greenwood and eventually led to Thranduil's kingdom. Suddenly, a shrill noise echoed through the trees, causing Saethor to pause mid-step.
Sweet Eru, what was that!?
The noise rang out again and this time it seemed to be closer. Whatever it was it was truly unpleasant; grating on the ears and causing Saethor to wince. He quickly recovered himself however; he was a warrior of the realm of Greenwood, he would not flee at a mere noise. Whatever was creating this ghastly sound would soon be found and- the noise rang out again, causing Saethor to drop his bow and slap his hands over his ringing ears- and hopefully stopped.
A few minutes later, Saethor was edging through the trees along the main road. Part of him wondered why he was creeping; surely nothing could hear him over this awful song! For clearly that was what it was, except it was being played at a ridiculously high pitch and volume and the musician seemed to have forgotten what the rest of the melody was, for it was just the same three notes played over and over- Valar! It was driving him mad!
Breathing deeply in a vain attempt to calm himself, Saethor leapt to a different branch. The noise was coming from quite close by now, if he peered through these branches he would be able to see- Saethor froze. Truly he must have been driven mad, for surely a group of elves could not produce such a horrid sound?! But no matter how much he blinked or rubbed at his eyes, the sight before him remained the same: a group of elves, appearing to be from Lothlorien judging by their garb, mounted on horses, and slowly riding towards Thranduil's kingdom. The noise itself issued from a wooden recorder, which was controlled by no great beast, but instead by a small, golden-haired elfling. The elfling in question was staring vacantly into the distance, and seemed completely oblivious to the horrible, Eru-awful sound he was emitting.
Deciding that it would be impolite to not greet the guest, or, more truthfully, that he should really put a stop to this horrendous music before it drove everyone in Greenwood to madness, Saethor leapt out of the tree he had been hiding in, and landed directly on the road in front of the elves.
Their horses immediately came to a stop, along with the horse the elfling was sitting atop, but instead of the music ceasing, as Saethor had expected it to, it continued on. The elfling kept gazing into space and playing the same awful three notes repeatedly, causing Saethor to look at him in shock and with more than a little bit of horror expressed on his face. Finally snapping out of his perturbed stupor, Saethor turned to the elf that had been trying to catch his attention for the past few moments.
"Well met, my friend." The elf smiled, though he seemed rather tense, "As I understand it, you're on a patrol from the halls of the elven King?"
Saethor nodded, glancing between the elf and the elfling playing the recorder, "Erm, indeed I am-"
Saethor was cut short as one of the elves from Lothlorien let out a howl of fury and exasperation. The elf leaned over towards the elfling playing the recorder and, without the slightest hesitation, took the wooden instrument from his hands and snapped it in half, causing most of the elves to let out sighs of relief. The elfling didn't seem to mind the destruction of his toy (or torture implement; depending on how you look at it); indeed he was simply staring at the elf whilst looking completely unfazed.
"Finally," the elf, who had broken the recorder, sighed, a blissful look appearing upon his face, "Silence, beautiful silence."
After a moment he snapped out of his reverie, "Right, anyways, you're here to escort us to the halls of the elven King, are you not?" he looked expectantly at Saethor.
Saethor managed to drag his gaze away from the strange elfling to answer, "Um, yes, I suppose I am."
A few minutes later, as the elven assembly set out once more, the odd elfling, whose name was Haldir, slowly reached into his saddle bag and pulled out a second wooden recorder.
Lindir was in hiding, or as much in hiding as one could be when mounted upon a horse and riding for the Halls of King Thranduil. So far, his morning had consisted of steering his horse amongst groups of tall elves in an attempt to remain unseen from the twin terrors, also known as Elladan and Elrohir. The young elven lords, having become bored with the constant riding, had taken it upon themselves to liven up the party of Greenwood-bound elves. As of that morning, they had spent their time filling up an empty water skin with all manner of insects, and any arachnids, they could get their treacherous little hands on. Lindir had yet to discover what they intended to do with them, and wasn't entirely sure he wanted to find out.
Noticing, just out the corner of his eye, Elladan casually sneaking over to the edge of the path in order to slip a large, green caterpillar off a leaf, Lindir quickly nudged his horse into a slightly faster walk. He attempted to disappear amongst a group of elven warriors, but jumped slightly when a voice suddenly addressed him.
Glorfindel whispered into his ear, "You wouldn't happen to know when the twins intend to initiate whatever it is they are planning?"
Lindir shook his head and nervously looked over his shoulder to where Elladan and Elrohir where involved in an intense, but inaudible, conversation. Lindir noted nervously that they kept gesturing to where the nobles, which included Elrond, Celebrian, and Erestor, rode; clustered together in a group.
"Unfortunately I don't," Lindir answered Glorfindel's question.
Glorfindel sighed, "Ah, well, be sure to tell me if you ever do find out. I've already had a squirrel tangled into my hair due to you three, and I'd like to keep spiders out of it."
In remembrance of this occurrence, Lindir smiled ever so slightly. Not slightly enough to get past Glorfindel's observations, however.
"I saw that, young one," Glorfindel growled, but smirked when Lindir blushed. He then whistled, and his horse started into a trot; leaving Lindir alone amongst the elven warriors.
The rest of the ride towards Greenwood was quiet after that, and, strangely enough, lacking in any bug related incidents. Elladan's and Elrohir's supposedly good behavior was doing nothing for Lindir's nerves however, and, as they rode to the entrance of Thranduil's Halls, where the elven King was waiting, Lindir found himself hoping that the twins had enough sense not to set the insects upon the ruler who was to be their host for the next little while.
However, then something happened that drove the bugs completely from Lindir's mind. He looked to the right of King Thranduil, smiling as he saw Legolas standing there, but his friend was not alone. Clinging tightly to the Prince's arm, and standing so close to him she might as well have been attached to his side, was a girl.
Elrohir nearly fell off his horse as his eyes alighted upon the most traumatizing sight he had ever seen in his life. Legolas was standing next to a girl-nay, not next too, he might as well have been sharing the same space as the girl-and he wasn't shaking her off or running around screaming that he had been contaminated. Admittedly, the Prince did look rather tense and slightly uncomfortable, but he was just standing there! For the life of him, Elrohir couldn't understand it and took to staring at his friend and gaping in shock.
It wasn't until Elladan nudged him with his elbow that Elrohir managed to snap his jaw shut.
"What is wrong with him?!" Elladan muttered, just as Lindir approached from behind them and hissed the same thing.
Lord Elrond proceeded to dismount his horse and greet King Thranduil. Following his example, the elflings dismounted their horses and slowly advanced upon Legolas; gazing warily at the beaming elleth by his side. As soon as the elflings got close to Legolas, the Prince suddenly flung himself away from the girl and practically tackled Elladan in an embrace. Elrohir and Lindir looked on; surprised at Legolas's overly exuberant greeting.
"I've missed you, my friends!" Legolas exclaimed, pulling away. He was smiling, but Lindir noted that there was something slightly off about his grin. Out of the corner of his eye, he also noticed that the elleth's smile had turned into a frustrated frown the moment Legolas had pulled away from her. In a blink of an eye however, the girl had put another sickeningly sweet smile back on her face, and approached Legolas; grabbing his hand.
"Now, dear," Elrohir winced at the sappy, high-pitched tone the elleth was using, "I'm sure your friends need to recover from their long journey. How about we stop bothering them and go for a walk through the gardens, hmmm?"
Then, without waiting for an answer, the girl dragged Legolas away. As the twins and Lindir stared after the pair in shock, Legolas cast them a desperate, pleading look over his shoulder. Suddenly, Elladan grabbed Lindir and Elrohir by the arms; directing them behind a stone statue.
Elrohir and Lindir looked at Elladan in bewilderment as he pulled a scrap of parchment out of the folds of his clothes, "Legolas snuck it into my pocket when he was greeting me" Elladan explained.
As Elladan unfolded and smoothed out the note, the other elflings huddled closer in order to read it as well.
To: Elladan, Elrohir, Lindir, and Haldir
You must help me! Luthwen (the elflings assumed this was the girl's name) won't let me be! She's always waiting outside my room in the morning, and only lets me out of her sight when I go to bed. I can't seem to get away from her; she always comes up with some reason for being wherever I am. You must help me, my friends; I fear that if I don't escape from her now, I never will!
Legolas
"Well," Elrohir stated blandly, "His writing has improved since last time he wrote to us."
"Elrohir!" exclaimed Elladan, looking horrified, "How can you think of something like that at a time like this! Our friend is being… being-,"
"Stalked and driven towards insanity?" Lindir inserted helpfully.
"Exactly," Elladan agreed, before a determined look appeared upon his face, "We must aid him. Now, when are the elves from Lothlorien supposed to arrive? We may need Haldir's help if we're going to try to assist Legolas in escaping from that-that-"
"Warg." Elrohir and Lindir stated definitively as they finished Elladan's sentence.
Suddenly, as if answering the last few statements, a shrill tune echoed out from the trees, if it could really even be called a tune.
Knowing there was only one elfling in all of Arda who could possibly get away with being so annoying and not be reprimanded (mostly because the elfling in question was completely oblivious to how irritating he was being), Lindir and the twins groaned in unison, "Haldir."
Sure enough, the elfling soon appeared from between the trees, surrounded by some very harassed looking elves. Knowing there was possibly only moments left before one of the elves snapped; the elflings quickly darted over to Haldir.
"Greetings Haldir," Elrohir announced loudly.
Luckily, this was enough to catch Haldir's attention and he stopped terrorizing everyone with his cacophonic melody, "Good day, Elrohir, Elladan, and Lindir," Haldir paused and looked around, "Where is Legolas?"
Elrohir quickly glanced around to make sure no one was paying attention to them, fortunately, the adults were too busy exchanging well-wishes, "Quick, come with us," he hissed.
Haldir stared at Elrohir for a moment before dismounting his horse. As soon as his feet had touched the ground, Elrohir grabbed his arm, and led him away from the chattering group of elves while Elrohir and Lindir followed them. When the adults' laughter and talk had faded into a quiet hum in the distance, Elrohir finally stopped.
"Listen," Elrohir began seriously, "Legolas has been captured by a girl-," Haldir had begun to hum the romantic tune of "The Lay of Leithian" causing Elrohir to smack his arm while Elladan and Lindir gave the odd elfling disgusted looks.
"As I was saying," Elrohir began once more, "Legolas has been captured by some girl named Luthwen, and we must help him escape her clutches."
"And how exactly are we going to do this?" Lindir questioned.
Elrohir smiled in such an evil way that it sent chills up the other elflings spines, "I have a plan."
Enchanted Water: Water taken from the Enchanted River in Greenwood. Coming into contact with this water caused the victim to fall into a deep sleep, and, when they wake up, they won't be able to remember a period of time before they touched the water.
Ada/Adar: The elvish words for Dad/Father.
Imladris: The Sindarin (an elvish language) name for Rivendell.
Greenwood: The forest that will later become known as Mirkwood, but, as this doesn't happen until around 1050 in the Third Age (and this story takes place long before then), it will be referred to as Greenwood.
Eru: The God of Middle-Earth basically.
Valar: In the simplest terms, the gods of Middle-Earth.
Elleth: A female elf.
Wargs: Wolf-like creatures in Middle-Earth, they are often used as a type of transportation for orcs, and serve Sauron.
Arda: The elven word for Earth.
The Lay of Leithian: This poem tells the story of Luthien (an elf) and Beren (a man), who loved one another.
Glorfindel: An elf-lord who's renowned for slaying a Balrog, fighting the Witch King of Angmar (and sending him running), and, in the books, he is the elf that helps Frodo and his companions reach Rivendell (as opposed to Arwen).
Erestor: An elf who attended the Council of Elrond. In this particular fan-fiction (and many others) he is one of Elrond's advisors and spends some of his time instructing Elladan and Elrohir.
Celebrian: This elleth is Elrond's wife and the lady of Rivendell. She is also the daughter of Galadriel and Celeborn.
The recorder scene with Haldir was inspired by my brief experience with those instruments in elementary school. *Shudders* I don't think "Au Clair de la Lune" has ever been so mangled.
Anyways, that's the first chapter. Feel free to favorite, follow, and/or review. Constructive criticism is always welcome. :D