Pairing/Chars: Kurt, Sebastian (not Kurtbastian, mentions of Kadam)
Words: 2234
Rating: all audiences
Summary: reaction drabble to 5 x 01, probably the first of many different versions I will go through before finding a fitting headcanon. Kurt and Sebastian talk after the proposal. Not Blaine/Klaine friendly, obviously.
Our Room
The crowd focuses on Blaine, which is okay. Kurt is happy for him being so loved by everyone, getting their support. It's pretty amazing that he brought 4 rivalling school choirs together. Kurt knows not everyone supports the idea of gay marriage, especially in Ohio, but Blaine convinced them somehow. He has a way of disarming everyone, just like in school. Blaine makes things work- he captains the cheerios, he becomes class president, he sings the leads. Everyone loves him. You would never find him dumpster diving or being slushied. The only slushie Blaine ever got was, of course, actually aimed at Kurt. Blaine deserves this accolade, this spectacle of love and friendship. He just delivered his best performance yet, solo and political statement in one, and is now basking in the applause.
The perfect opportunity for Kurt to slip away.
In the back of his mind, Kurt knows it shouldn't be so easy, not at his own engagement- a proposal, after all, is about two people and not just the one making the bold gesture. But it's easier this way. He did what everyone wanted him to do, and he is not needed any more. They'll have more fun celebrating Blaine without him there, anyway.
He climbs back up the staircase unnoticed, and walks down the second floor corridor to his old dorm. It is unlocked and he goes inside. Another boy lives here now. Kurt looks around the room. To distract himself, he lets his mind idly categorise the things that changed since he stayed there. There's new curtains (good, Kurt thinks, the ones he had were hideous, not even fit to make play clothes out of) and a poster of Matt Bomer where his framed Wicked poster used to be. The peeling edge of the wallpaper by the bed, only a small tear when he left it, has been ripped further and then fixed with sticky tape. The desk is moved to the other wall and is much messier than he used to keep his. There's stacks of books with all kind of paper scraps as bookmarks (Kurt recognises a Dalton tardy-slip, a receipt from the cafeteria, and something that might be a theatre ticket sticking from between the pages) and several half-empty coffee mugs. He wrinkles his nose. Is that a cigarette butt floating in one of them? He breathes in and realises the room does, in fact, smell like smoke a bit. He moves to the window and opens it, comforted by the familiarity and the feel of the handle under his touch. Suddenly, there's something else he needs to see, some continuity to assure him he's doing the right thing.
He walks to the closet and bites his lip. Would it still be there? He looks at the door of the dorm and listens. It sounds like everyone's still downstairs. Carefully, he opens his old closet and searches for the pen marks. He's against graffiti, really, especially on school property, but back when he went to Dalton he had indulged in his crush and inked a small heart next to the dressing mirror on the inside of the door, writing Kurt H & Blaine Aunderneath it in curly letters.
Kurt gasps. The heart is still there, but someone has used a different colour ink to draw a crack through the heart and strike out Blaine's name. There's a black smudge on the wood, and when Kurt touches it, there are traces of ash on his finger. His own name is intact. Added, in an untidy scrawl, are the words is a fine piece of ass.
"It's too late to get back in the closet, Hummel," a familiar voice drawls from behind him. "There are 4 choirs downstairs who all saw you accept a proposal of marriage from a guy in a suit the colour of baby poop. It doesn't get any gayer than that."
Kurt flushes and slams the closet door closed. "I wasn't-" he starts, but stops as he sees his protest is making Sebastian's smirk grow. He doesn't want to give the other boy the satisfaction. He straightens his shoulders and raises his chin. "So, this is your room, then?"
Sebastian nods.
"It used to be mine," Kurt says, feeling a little defensive for walking in like he had.
"I figured as much," Sebastian replies. "It smelled like lavender in here when I moved in." He smiles a little too sweetly, like the scent alone says enough about Kurt.
"Better than cigarettes. You are not allowed to smoke in here, you know," Kurt bites back.
"Rules, schmooles," Sebastian shrugs, and Kurt rolls his eyes at the childish deflection. Sebastian continues. "So why are you in here and not downstairs with your atrociously dressed fiancé?" He nods at the open window. "Already thinking about jumping?" He smiles, pleased with his own joke, as the window is far too small for Kurt to fit through.
Kurt opens his mouth to protest, but no words come out. "I just needed to get out of there," he finally confesses.
Sebastian looks at him, and for once, he is without his trademark smirk. "Why did you say yes?" he asks neutrally.
Kurt sighs. "What else could I have said, with everyone there, and Blaine going through all that to arrange it? What would you have said?" he replies, and then realises who he is talking to. "No, no, please, forget it," he quickly adds. "I'm too tired for dirty puns right now."
Sebastian ignores it. "I would have said: Blaine, you dress even worse than Kurt used to, hair gel is so last year, and marriage is for monogamous people, which means neither of us qualify."
Kurt swallows. It hurts that word of Blaine's cheating has reached Dalton too, but he isn't surprised. After everything else Blaine has lied to Kurt about, why would he have told the truth about not texting Sebastian anymore? Kurt knows they are still facebook friends. But there is something else in Sebastian's answer that makes him curious.
"Used to, huh?" he asks, cocking an eyebrow.
Sebastian smirks. "Well obviously today's the exception," he says, nodding at Kurt's suit. "But from what I've seen on Blaine's facebook, your style has improved. Slightly."
Kurt scoffs. "Thanks. That means a lot to me coming from a guy who wears a uniform most of the time and pops the collar of his polo shirts when he doesn't."
"Any time."
They look at each other, at an impasse with their insults. Sebastian is the first to laugh. Kurt joins in. The heavy feeling he's had all day melts away and he realises this is the first time he has laughed since finding out what Blaine had been planning.
"In his defence, mustard's an upcoming colour for the new season," he says.
"You would know, working at Vogue," Sebastian replies. "That's a pretty sweet job."
Kurt waits for a taunt to follow, but there isn't one. "Yeah," he replies. "It kinda is."
"He still looks terrible in it though."
"Yeah. He really kinda does," Kurt admits, feeling a little guilty because that was the first thing he thought when he saw Blaine earlier. He shouldn't feel that way about his fiancé. He quickly tries to change the subject. "So why did you help him stage this… thing? I thought you'd be the last person wanting to see us together."
Sebastian makes a face. "Honestly?" he says. "I was kinda banking on you shooting him down. I set up this little betting pool- the Warblers all worship Blaine and didn't think you'd say no, so the odds were pretty profitable."
"You bet on me refusing him?" Kurt asks, outraged.
"You just cost me two hundred bucks," Sebastian confirms.
"Serves you right," Kurt says.
Sebastian just shrugs. Kurt wishes he could be so blasé about losing that much money. He reaches for his lapels to brush them down and sees the ring on his finger sparkle. He blinks, somehow surprised to see it.
"It's not too late, you know," Sebastian says. "You could go down and tell him you changed your mind."
"What, so you get your money back?" Kurt scoffs. It's not an option. He gave his word.
"No, so you don't settle for a life of mediocrity with a short, prematurely balding guy from Ohio when you could be fucking some runway model or a hot NYADA student in NewYork," Sebastian replies matter-of-factly. He waggles his eyebrows.
"I was," Kurt replies wistfully, thinking of Adam. "But he is going back to England at the end of the year and I sort of lost my faith in long distance relationships. It was easier to break it off now and save myself the heartache."
"So? Find someone else," Sebastian suggests. "Plenty of fish in the sea."
Kurt groans. "Actually, no, there aren't, Sebastian," he says. "Adam was the only person besides Blaine who ever noticed me, and for a long time I suspected he might be an actor hired by Rachel to boost my self-esteem."
"Well, that's just stupid," Sebastian said. "And it's not true either."
Kurt frowned. "What would you know about it?"
"Well, I know for a fact that he's not the only one who's ever noticed you."
"Oh?" Kurt mentally goes down the list of people they both know. Then he sees Sebastian giving him a meaningful look and disappointment hits him. "Oh right. I'm a fine piece of ass." For a moment he had thought Sebastian was being serious.
Sebastian shrugs. "It's a compliment."
Kurt rolls his eyes. "Like my slightly improved style." He wants to tell Sebastian that he can cut the crap, but the corners of his lips are curling up and he has to admit it feels kind of good to joke around like this, even if he knows the other boy doesn't mean it. "Well, sorry, but that's never gonna happen," he replies. He might have lowered his expectations of love a bit since high school, but he does think it takes more than appreciating someone's ass.
Sebastian smiles. "The smaller the odds the bigger the prize."
Kurt shakes his head. He didn't think the day would come that Sebastian Smythe would see him as a prize. Maybe everyone had gone crazy today. Or maybe he'd wake up soon.
"I should get back down," he offers for lack of anything else to say.
"I'd say suit yourself but you clearly did," Sebastian offers half-heartedly.
Kurt sighs. "And I'd say stop being an asshole but you clearly can't help yourself."
Sebastian shrugs. "Someone has to be the villain in your fairytale, right? Now hurry on down before the clock strikes twelve and you turn into a pumpkin."
Kurt rolls his eyes. "That's the carriage, not the princess."
Sebastian waves it off with a hand. "Well, what do I know about Disney? I hacked into my dad's pay-per-view account when I was eight."
"That explains a lot," Kurt comments. He has his hand on the doorknob, but is making no move to go just yet.
Sebastian picks up on his hesitation. "You could just stay here," he says. "My room's pretty much the last place Blaine would look."
Kurt frowns. "And then what?"
"Then I'd go down and tell Blaine you changed your mind and left to pick up your stuff in Lima. By the time he gets there to serenade you with a tearful and heartfelt ballad to beg you to stay, you could be on a plane to New York."
New York. Just the mention of it makes Kurt's heart ache for the loft and the smell of Adam's self-baked cookies. Could it really be that easy? Just take it all back, and leave? To stall for time, Kurt asks: "Why would you do that?"
Sebastian grins. "I like being the bringer of bad news, it's fun."
"You really took it personally that Blaine rejected you, don't you?" Kurt muses. Sebastian doesn't reply, and it's probably the first time ever Kurt has seen him speechless. "Look, I'm sorry-" Kurt starts, but Sebastian shakes his head.
"No, you're right. I did." He offers Kurt a self-conscious smile. "I don't like feeling second-best."
If Kurt was the kind of guy to hold a grudge, he would rub it in, but he isn't. He remembers what it felt like when Blaine was crushing on Jeremiah. He never thought about it before, but he and Sebastian might be more alike than he'd like to admit.
"So…" Sebastian asks, rousing him from his thoughts, "Shall I go downstairs?"
Kurt looks down at the ring on his hand, playing with in between his fingers. "Yeah," he says softly, and slips it off.
Sebastian hesitates for a moment, and then takes it, smirks, and slips it on his finger. "This is gonna be fun. Think he'll be able to tell the difference?"
Kurt snorts. "Please. I have better hair." He tries to act insulted, but he's actually grinning by now.
"Well if he doesn't, I'm keepin' him," Sebastian jokes. "Someone has to get him out of that suit." He salutes Kurt. "See you, then. Maybe I'll show up in New York sometime and you can hook me up with a Vogue model."
"Maybe," Kurt promises. "See you, Sebastian."
He watches the other boy go and wonders if, while he waits, he should call Adam and try to fix things between them.