This is a songfic based off Avril Lavigne's song, Slipped Away. You should probably listen to it while reading. Warning: This story is extremely sad.
Disclaimer: my plan of world domination failed, so I don't own Twilight or Slipped Away. Yet. *Evil cackle*
I miss you
Miss you so bad
Flashback:
"Edward! No!" I screamed. But I was too late. Edward stepped out into the sunlight of the Volterra street, bare-chested and sparkling.
"Bella? How-- " But he was cut off by the screaming crowd around him. Cloaked Volturi guards burst out of nowhere and seized Edward.
"Edward! Nooo!" I yelled again. I raced back to Alice as fast as humanly possible, but I knew it was all in vain.
End Flashback
I had watched as the Volturi ripped apart my only true love the next day. I cried on Alice's shoulder through the execution. It was all my fault. If I hadn't jumped off that damn cliff, Edward wouldn't have died.
I won't forget you
Oh, it's so sad
My life changed that day. Everywhere I went, I saw Edward. I tried to hang out with the Cullens, but they reminded me of Edward too much. I cried myself to sleep every night when I got home. I couldn't see how my life was even worth living.
I hope you can hear me
At night, I sometimes had conversations with Edward in my head. Sometimes I even deluded myself into believing that he could hear me. I desperately hoped that he could.
I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day that I found
It won't be the same
No matter how much I tried to forget, that terrible day with the Volturi still managed to haunt me. That was the day my life changed forever.
That day I died, in a sense. I put myself on autopilot, drifting through life, not talking except to answer my teachers', Charlie's, and my friends' questions. Everyone else thought that Edward died in a plane crash on his way to see me. Only the Cullens, the werewolves and I knew the truth.
I never got around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
What pained me even more was that the last thing Edward ever heard me say was 'Wait.' Not 'I love you' or 'I'll miss you' or 'Don't Go.' Just 'Wait.' It was the last thing I'd said to him that fateful day more than a year ago. The last kiss we'd shared was on the night of my birthday. I remembered that night as clearly as I remembered the day he died. I remembered the way his lips felt on my skin as we were watching Romeo and Juliet, the way we laughed and chatted in my truck on the way to his house, the pain I saw in his eyes when Carlisle was removing the glass from my arm. That was a night full of mixed emotions for me, now and then.
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't
I would give anything to be able to look into his beautiful topaz eyes, hear his velvety voice wash over me, feel his ice-cold skin. I would do anything within my power, kill myself a hundred times over, to see him again. The only reason I hadn't killed myself already was that I knew he wanted me to live a full human life. But that was going to change. I couldn't live knowing I would never see him again.
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly
The day you slipped away
Was the day that I found
It won't be the same
Not a day went by that I didn't contemplate suicide. I'd even gone so far as to buy a dagger. It was hidden under my bed where Charlie wouldn't find it. I imagined it as relief from the giant empty hole in my chest. There was a constant stinging pain there. It was even worse than the last time Edward left me because this time, I knew that Edward wanted me. I was left wondering what could have been if I hadn't been a fraction of a second too late. Would we have married? Would he have turned me into a vampire? We might have had a perfect life – or a life as perfect as a vampire's could be. Any life would be perfect, as long as Edward was there. But a life without Edward wasn't a life worth living.
I've had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why
"Why?" I screamed into my pillow. "What did I ever do to deserve this? Why did you take him away from me? Look what I've become! Look what you did to me! Why can't he just wake up?"
I can't take it
And I won't fake it
It happened you passed by
"I can't take it any more!" I shrieked. I turned my tear-stained face to the window to look out – and saw a shock of messy bronze hair. "Edward!" I raced down the stairs and flung open the door. "Edward!" I screamed again. The man turned around and I saw that he had blue eyes, not the topaz ones I loved.
"I'm sorry, can I help you, miss?"
"No. No one can help me now." I said quietly as I turned around to dash back up the stairs.
Now you're gone
Now you're gone
There you go
There you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now you're gone
Now you're gone
There you go
There you go
Somewhere you're not coming back
"He's gone." I told myself bitterly. "He's somewhere I can't bring him back from. He's not coming back, Bella. He's not coming back. You can't bring him back. HE'S NOT COMING BACK! YOU CAN'T BRING HIM BACK!" I broke down and sobbed, and then steeled myself and made the decision my life had been hanging on for the past year.
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found
It won't be the same
The day you slipped away
Was the day I found
It won't be the same
I slowly pulled the dagger out from under the bed and lifted it to my heaving chest, my hands trembling. "I love you, Edward. And I'm coming for you. I'll see you soon." Then I shoved the dagger deep into my chest.
I miss you
That was hard to write! I'm not good at doing sad stories. Please review and tell me if you love, like, don't like, completely hate, or otherwise.