Freeze.
T: FMA is not mine, nor is anything that you see in this fic other than the plot bunny! Warnings of slash, vague OOC, the loose ends one would expect from a prologue, spoilers for the movie and other fun things!
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He'd been a blind fool, that much he was certain of, and because of that foolishness he'd hurt so many people.
The easy excuse would be to blame the discordant chaos of his grief, the sudden aimless frustration he'd felt as his best friend had been snatched from his life.
It was true that both those emotions had built up within him until they had exploded in a rush of flurried actions and ill timed words. It was also true that certain circumstances had made it a little harder for him to see what so many others could and yet…
In the end he should have realised, should have questioned further the sudden black mood that'd swamped him and forced the other to stay a moment longer.
Given that extra second of time he would have fully understood himself, would have been able to voice the emotions at the heart of him and let the other from his side without regret.
Whether such a thing would actually have eased the agony of his separation from the other, or if the words would have prompted the other to think a little more over his actions, is something he can not be certain of, however, he is assured that the words would have made the matter somehow more bearable.
As it was the news that the other was gone, that he might never again see that individual, had struck him so very hard and he'd become foolish. For desperate to fill the void that was there suddenly within him he'd stretched out for comfort, had made the matter between Hawkeye and himself so much more than it should have been.
He'd realised his mistake a month after the woman had taken him into her life and, guilt blinding him to a more rational course, he'd run away.
Lodged in ice, the fire snuffed from within him and his gloves stored with the memories of that time, he'd become someone other than the man that he'd used to be.
Regret, depression and the irrepressible ache of heartbreak, had filled his life, had become as companions to him within his isolation.
Occasionally he was tempted to simply end everything, the memory of his best friend as well as foolish hope, the only things that suppressed such yearnings.
For, though he knew there was no cause, he believed that he would see the other again.
That this time he would voice all of his secretes and the wounds they concealed, would let go his regrets and become again a man he could be proud of.
A man that the other would not be ashamed to call his lover.
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T: Review? Expect the first chapter of thaw (the fic that this is leading into) on wed afternoon!