Author's Note: I tried my damndest not to write this story. The idea's been floating around my head for about a week, but I didn't want to do it. A, I have homework to be focusing on. B, I knew this story would get really angsty and would affect me in weird ways, and I didn't want to put myself through that (shocking, when you consider how much I love angst, but there you go). C, I'm not sure I can do the subject matter justice (and not because it's a songfic).

Yet here I am, writing this out anyways. Why? A, I guess I'm a masochist. B, the idea would not leave. C, I listened to Gunslinger and made the mistake of staring at Matt's dog tags, and my fate was sealed. This fic is lovingly dedicated to every soldier and every soldier's girlfriend/fiancée/wife, with my utmost gratitude and respect.

Also, even though I had M. Shadows in mind when I wrote this, and used Avenged Sevenfold songs, it's not really a fanfiction like my stuff usually is. This could stand as an original story. Additionally… yes, it's a songfic. But I did my best not to make it one of those really bad "let's just plop the lyrics in and write some dialogue around it" fics; I tried to work the gist of the song into the scene. Sometimes I just focused on the song's theme, sometimes I slipped lyrics into the prose, sometimes I had a character writing the song. But I tried to be subtle with it. Tell me how well I succeeded.

Matt Sanders is portrayed by M. Shadows
Ariadne Wright is portrayed by Anna Nalick

Disclaimer: I don't own a single word of any of the ten songs used to create this fic. They belong to their respective artists. No copywrite infringement is intended. I don't own M Shadows or Synyster Gates, either (damnit). All I own is my own character (I borrowed one of Henderson's characters, as usual) and this idea.

Playlist:
Chapter One: Dear God, Avenged Sevenfold; Poprocks and Coke, Green Day
Chapter Two: Critical Acclaim, Avenged Sevenfold; Right Here Waiting, Bryan Adams
Chapter Three: Lost, Avenged Sevenfold; If You're Reading This, Tim McGraw; Wake Me Up When September Ends, Green Day
Chapter Four: Gunslinger, Avenged Sevenfold; Seize the Day, Avenged Sevenfold; Warmness on the Soul, Avenged Sevenfold

Chapter One: I Need You... I'm Here

United States Marine Corporal Matthew Sanders shifted in his seat, picking at his camouflaged fatigues as he closed his eyes and rested his shorn head against the window, warmed by the setting sun. Even though his green eyes were closed, he could still see the lonely road in his mind, straight as an arrow and empty except for the bus full of Marines headed for deployment. The only excitement (and excitement was a relative term) came when they crossed another cold state line, heading ever further from home and the ones he loved. Other than that, there was nothing to do but lose himself in his thoughts, attempt to remember his purpose in going off to war.

The 21-year-old South California native had always loved his country, but plenty of people did. That didn't lead them to sign up for not only the Armed Forces, but for the Marine Corps, arguably the toughest branch of the military. And to be honest, he'd never thought he would ever enlist. Yeah, he supported the troops, but he'd been perfectly happy to rehearse with his band and play the music he loved, to hang out with his friends. So why had he signed up?

One of his closest friends from high school had been a Marine. Had been… until a rocket-propelled grenade had blown up his Humvee in Afghanistan. Matt had enlisted in Alex's memory and honor. He had his friends' initials and dates tattooed on his arm, and his memory and example before him.

Matt shifted in his seat as sunset faded into twilight, and his mind returned once again to the people he was leaving behind. Well, one person in particular. He lifted the sleeve of his shirt, seeking out one particular design- a pair of bull's horns, the initial A topped by a crown between them. He smiled faintly; this tattoo had been a labor of love from conception to execution. He'd done the research and designed the tattoo when he was 18, and his best friend Brian had inked him (it had given him needed time towards his tattooing license). He'd gotten the tattoo in honor of one of his best and oldest friends, as a way to express his feelings for her when he was too chicken shit to tell her.

Matt had met Ariadne Wright in seventh grade detention. He and Brian had jumped into a fight that had erupted on the playground between Ariadne, her twin sister Elise, and some eighth grade boys over a game of kickball. They'd been the closest of friends from that point on.

How long had he been in love with her? Fuck if he knew. Probably from the very beginning, but he'd been too blind to realize it. Everybody else had known, apparently, but he hadn't figured it out until the day he'd announced to his friends that he was enlisting. He'd taken one look at Ariadne's pale, shocked face, and the truth had hit him like a bolt from the blue. He'd taken her outside, and without saying a word he'd kissed her, years' worth of passion pouring out of him at once. They'd gotten together that night, much to the relief of everyone.

Six weeks later, he was gone to boot camp in San Diego. He'd been gone for thirteen weeks of the most difficult physical and mental challenges of his life. The only contact he'd had with his family, friends and girlfriend had been letters. Once a week from his parents and sister. Every so often from his friends. Every day from Ariadne. His fellow recruits had teased him about how often she wrote, but he'd depended on her letters to get him through training.

His best friends and band mates, and Ariadne and Elise, had come with his family to San Diego for his graduation ceremony. It had been one of the proudest days of his life, and having everyone he loved there had just made it sweeter. He'd introduced Ariadne to his Drill Instructor and his fellow Marines, and most of them had told him the same thing he'd heard from his friends for years- that he and Ariadne would end up married.

He'd laughed them off, and eagerly gone home for his ten days of leave. He'd spent every second of every day with Ariadne, hardly ever letting her out of his arms no matter where they were or what they were doing. They'd slept together the night before he left for Infantry Training Battalion, and that night had damn near topped his graduation from boot as the best moment of his life.

He'd endured eight weeks of training at the School of Infantry- eight weeks of thinking he might possibly lose his mind. After that, it had been off for his first deployment- Camp Lejeune in North Carolina. Being across the country from Ariadne and his family had been brutal, but at least he'd had internet and the phone.

He'd spent nine months in North Carolina before he got the news- he was being deployed to Iraq. His division had been given ten days' leave to go home and be with their families, and then it'd be off to war.

The instant he'd heard the news, he knew what he had to do. He'd wasted too much time already; if he were going into a war zone he needed to know he had her with him.

He'd spent ten days planning, panicking, spending as much time with his loved ones as he could. Then, the night before he'd left, he'd taken Ariadne outside, under the tree in his backyard where they'd spent so much time over the years, and he'd asked her to marry him. Some might say it was premature; after all, they'd been together only a year, and they were only 21. But he was a Marine, and he was a grown man who knew his own mind. He loved Ariadne, and he wanted her to be his wife, and nothing would ever change his mind.

And now here he was, in this bus that was taking him ever further away from his home and his fiancée, off to an uncertain future.

Matt swallowed hard, reaching into his bag for his leather-bound journal. He'd kept the journal ever since leaving for boot; he wrote in it as though he was talking to Ariadne, and it helped him to cope. He opened the book, then stared at the picture that someone (probably Elise) had somehow slipped between the pages. It was a shot that had been taken only days ago, of he and Ariadne dancing in the park when they, Elise, Brian, Zacky and Jimmy had spent the day there, heads together as they stared into each others' eyes. He hadn't realized someone had brought a camera along, but he thanked them for this candid from the bottom of his heart. He lightly ran his thumb over her face, thankful for the aviators that still covered his rapidly misting eyes. He stared at her face, and he began to write, hearing the music he'd someday add to the song.

Dear God, the only thing I ask of you
is to hold her when I'm not around
when I'm much too far away…

She'd thought that the 13 weeks of boot camp had been bad, but now Ariadne Wright was confident that this had been the longest week of her life.

It had been bad enough when Matt was at boot, when she couldn't talk to him except through the letters she'd religiously written. But at least then he'd been in the States, out of danger. Now he was right in the thick of it, and unless he managed to get service on his cell or his laptop, she had no way of knowing he was alright.

She spent all her days worrying now, it seemed. Worrying about Matt's safety, worrying she'd miss his call, worrying that her letters wouldn't reach him, worrying about how much she worried about him. And much though she loved her friends and her sister, they didn't understand. How could they relate to her? If they were bored, they just had to text their boyfriends, and 20 minutes later they were together. They complained when they didn't see their man for 2 days, and then didn't understand when she laughed at them. No, they couldn't understand what she was going through.

Ariadne spent most of her free time at Matt's house, with his mother Kim and sister Amy. They understood; they all worried together. Ariadne had also gotten close to Lisa, the widow of Matt's friend Alex Winters, who'd been killed in Afghanistan, as well as the girlfriends, fiancées, and wives of Matt's platoon brothers. These women understood what it meant to love a soldier, how you spent all your life being so very proud of your man and his corps, but at the same time missing him and worrying for his safety every step of the way.

Maybe it would have been healthier to try and distract herself from the danger Matt faced. But Ariadne couldn't do that. Oddly, immersing herself in the Corps was a way to be close to Matt, to feel like he wasn't so far away. So she threw herself into it with reckless abandon- reading everything she could about the Corps and its history, joining an online support USMC G/F/W site, pinning a yellow ribbon onto her clothing and Support Our Troops magnets and stickers onto her car, sporting Marine Fiancée shirts. People shook their heads at her, but who were they to judge if reading Roses and Thorns and poetry about Marine Girlfriends was more therapeutic than gossiping about trivialities with her non-Corps friends?

Sighing, Ariadne ran a hand through her choppy red-brown hair as she walked up the porch steps and through the front door of Matt's house. She threw a faint smile to the official graduation picture of Matt in his dress blues, which Kim had hung in the front hall, before walking into the family room.

"Hello?" she called. "Momma? Amy?"
"In the kitchen, Adie!"

Ariadne followed the sound of Kim's voice back to the kitchen, where she found Mrs. Sanders making dinner. She smiled and lightly hugged Kim before jumping in to help with the food; the woman had been more of a mother to Ariadne than her own mother, especially since she graduated high school.

"Amy's got classes till nine tonight," Kim said, referring to Matt's younger sister, who attended the local technical school. "And Gary's working late. So it's just us. How's Elise holding up?"
"About to tear her hair out," Ariadne said, laughing lightly. "Just got back from their apartment; looks like a war zone."

Ariadne's twin sister Elise was engaged to their best friend (and Matt's band mate) Brian Haner. They were a perfect match, really, but if they both made it alive to their wedding it would be a miracle. Today, Elise had changed her mind about the flower arrangements (again), and Brian had made an ill-timed comment about how no one cared about the flowers. Which of course had spawned a pointless argument, and Elise storming into her sister's office (Ariadne was the resident Stage Manager at the city theatre) to vent for 45 minutes before Ariadne got her calmed down enough to bring her back home. Ariadne had left about 30 seconds before the makeup sex had started, and headed to her future in-laws' house to regain her sanity.

"Poor girl," Kim laughed after Ariadne relayed the story. "Weddings shouldn't cause such stress."

The two women walked into the living room with their plates of pasta and salad, curling up on the couch. Since they were the only two eating, they kept things informal; hence the couch instead of the dining room table. They chatted easily as they ate, waiting for 6:00, when they would turn on the news and worry together. Even when the news started, they didn't pay much attention; there was only one kind of report that they were interested in.

"Two soldiers died today in southern Iraq…"

Ariadne's heart flew into her throat as she stared at the TV, not daring to breathe until she knew more details.

"It's not him," Kim sighed in relief, slumping in her seat as the short clip ended. "He's alright."

Ariadne nodded, but she couldn't move as Kim grabbed their plates and went to clean the kitchen to ease her nerves. She stood stiffly, turning off the TV, then stared blankly at the empty screen.

"But they were somebody's soldiers," she whispered, sending a silent prayer of comfort to the unknown sisters who'd lost their Marines.

She swallowed thickly, blinking back tears as she sank onto the bench of Matt's piano. She sat there stiffly, trying to persuade her body to relax. Matt was safe, she reassured herself; she could go on worrying about him for another day.

Sighing deeply, she dropped her head onto her arms, which were propped on the keyboard lid, and she cried. Cried in relief that Matt was safe, in fear that tomorrow he wouldn't be so lucky, in anger that she was so afraid, in sympathy for the widows who'd been created today.

Why had she agreed to this life, again?

She sighed shakily, wiping her eyes free of tears and staring at the solitary diamond winking on her left hand. The engagement ring had been Kim's. Matt had apologized for not buying Ariadne her own ring, but she was honored to have Kim's. She loved the ring, and the family she was marrying into, and most especially Matt. She'd always loved him, ever since he'd taken that punch for her in seventh grade. She couldn't imagine living her life without him, even though that life meant she'd always have to bear her worries and fears, that Matt came with a whole corps of brothers and sisters for her to love and support.

Drawing a deep, steadying breath, she pushed back the piano lid and began to play, imagining Matt was safe and sound and sitting next to her.

Wherever you go, you know I'll be there
If you go far, you know I'll be there
I'll go anywhere, so I'll see you there

I don't care if you don't mind
I'll be there not far behind
I will dare
Keep in mind
I'll be there for you

Note: Okay, about that tattoo I talked about Matt having; the bull's horns and the crowned A? It's a tattoo about Ariadne's name. In Greek mythology, Ariadne was a princess of Crete who helped Theseus defeat the Minotaur of King Minos. Theseus was supposed to marry Ariadne for her help, but he ran away. It's okay though, she ended up marrying Dionysus, god of wine and revelry. So instead of just getting her name, Matt went the more creative route and got a tattoo of the Minotaur's horns, with a crown over the A because Ariadne is his princess. Cute, no?