Never Alone
Disclaimer: I don't own LOST.
A/N: This was going to be Desmond centric, but then I wanted to write about other characters, so I ended up writing a lot more.
Kate sat alone in front of the fire that she had made herself. She rubbed her arms in an attempt to stay warm. It was the coldest night that she could remember. People around her mingled with each other, rejoicing with each other. Kate was content with staying by herself, watching Jack check up on everyone. She missed watching him do that. Since he'd gotten back he hadn't done it as much, but before they got captured, Kate had looked forward to those daily checkups. At the time, he had been avoiding her, and those few glimpses of him were all she had until he went back to the hatch.
Jack visited with Sun, who was sitting with Rose. Claire was sitting a few feet away, nursing baby Aaron.
Kate sighed and looked back into the fire. She was confused. After all she'd done, and after Jack had been acting, Kate had been certain that she had lost Jack to Juliet. He had always been hanging around her, smiling with her. Today, he had given her one of those smiles, when he had told her that he loved her. Just thinking about it made Kate's heart beat faster. She didn't understand the sudden admission. When she had witnessed Juliet kissing Jack, Kate had used it as a sign for her to realize that she had to move on. She thought that Jack had moved on as well, but he hadn't. He loved her. Jack loved her. Kate didn't know what to do.
Kate jumped as she felt someone's hands on her shoulders and she looked up.
Jack laughed as he put a blanket around her. "You cold?"
Kate smiled and pulled the blanket tighter around her. "Yes. Thanks."
Jack sat down beside her, putting his hands closer to the fire.
"How's your hand?" Kate looked at Jack's bruised knuckles.
Jack looked at it and grimaced. "It's okay."
Kate nodded. A silence fell between them, but for some reason, that was all right. It felt like when they'd first met. They'd spent a lot of time just enjoying each other's company.
"Where'd you find the blanket?"
"In the radio tower." Jack looked at Kate.
"How can you not be cold in this weather? It's windy and freezing."
Jack shrugged, but Kate noticed him shiver, even though he tried to hide it.
"Isn't there another blanket?" Kate asked.
Jack just shrugged again, and scooted closer to the fire.
Kate looked around her and realized that Jack had given everyone a blanket and hadn't kept one for himself.
"You wanna share mine?" Kate offered.
Jack smiled at her. "Sure."
They got as close together as possible, and Jack put the blanket around his back, setting the end down in his lap.
Kate felt herself fluster, suddenly feeling hot, with Jack being so close.
"Is that better?" Kate tried to keep her voice leveled.
Jack just nodded in response, and Kate smiled. "I don't know how I'm going to sleep with all the excitement." Kate commented.
"You should." Jack looked at Kate. "The sun will be rising in a couple of hours, and then we'll be heading back down. You should try to sleep."
Kate sighed. It felt so good to have Jack back. "I missed you." The words slipped out of her mouth before she could stop them.
Jack smiled slowly, and gently put his hand on her knee. "I missed you too Kate."
He fell upon his knees on the sand, breathing hard. The sun was setting, and the moon was slowly rising, but he only saw the sand as he fell flat on his face. He'd seen Charlie die, over and over again, but living it was a whole different experience.
He'd barely made it out alive. Choked with sobs, he had raced to the surface, slowing as he approached it. Did he really want to live? Maybe he could just stay under, long enough to end it all, end this suffering that never seemed to go away. For a while, all he'd wanted was to see Penny one last time, but once he was able to do that, he'd wanted more. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Then he met Charlie. The premonitions started and all he wanted was for Charlie to live.
He'd spent the last month trying to prevent Charlie's death. He'd been so concentrated on keeping Charlie safe that he'd never thought of what it would be like when Charlie died. It hadn't occurred to Desmond that he would have to tell the others about what happened, and how could he? The others would be excited, anxious to get home, and Desmond would be forced to ruin it all. Everyone loved Charlie. That Desmond had noticed. Even Sawyer showed a slight interest in him.
Soon, Desmond drifted into a deep sleep, not awaking until the next afternoon. When he awoke, he managed to sit up, and soon he found himself putting one foot in front of the other. He was finally heading home. Home. Is that what he called it now? For a while, the hatch had been his home, and Desmond had thought that he was going to die there, but then there was hope. That hope came from John Locke. But then Locke disappeared. The only explanation given was that he had stayed with the Others. Whether that meant forever, or just for a while, Desmond didn't know. But was anything permanent? The only thing permanent was death. And Charlie was dead.
Desmond's thoughts turned to Claire, the concerned mother who found comfort in Charlie. Desmond had witnessed their fights, but they made Desmond smile, because it reminded him of himself and Penny. Now that Charlie was gone, Claire was alone. But she didn't have to be alone. He could help. He knew that he could never replace Charlie, but it was the least he could do. How could he be so selfish? Letting Charlie die just so they could get rescued. Sure it was a mission that Charlie took on, he knew the risks, and he wanted to risk his life for Claire, and for everyone else. Desmond respected Charlie more than anyone else. Charlie was braver than himself.
"It's Desmond! They're back!"
Desmond looked up to see Hurley running, or at least trying to run, towards him.
"Jack and the others made contact with the boat! You guys did it!" Hurley stopped in front of Desmond, trying to catch his breath.
Desmond just looked at Hurley, unable to speak. Charlie had done it. He had really saved them all.
"You did it!" Hurley smiled. Then he realized that someone was missing. "Hey, where's Charlie?"
Behind Hurley, the others slowly walked towards them, smiling. Everyone was truly smiling, because finally, there was something to smile about.
"Good job. We were beginning to worry." Sayid offered his hand to Desmond. When he didn't take it, Sayid looked behind Desmond. "What's wrong?"
"Charlie?" Jin said questioningly, looking around.
"Dude, are you okay?" Hurley asked.
Juliet looked down. She knew what happened, and Sayid was realizing it too.
"What happened Desmond?" Sayid said, softer.
"Charlie did what he was supposed to do, but the man with the patch came, and he pulled a grenade. Charlie's gone." Desmond said it as quickly as possible, as if the others wouldn't understand if he said it fast enough. Charlie's gone. Desmond shook his head.
"What?" Hurley's eyes widened, and Sayid nodded understandingly.
Sawyer and Bernard looked down, while Juliet tried to think of something to say. Jin could tell by the looks on everyone's faces that Charlie had died.
"Hey Hurley? You there?" Jack's voice came over the radio.
"Hurley, the radio." Sayid said.
Hurley shook his head. "Uh, right." Hurley handed the radio to Sayid, and Sayid noticed that his hand was shaking.
Sayid sighed, before answering. "Yes Jack."
"Sayid?"
"I'm here."
"Claire's wondering if Desmond and Charlie are back yet."
Desmond closed his eyes. He hadn't thought about telling Claire.
"Jack, Charlie-"
"Let me." Desmond interrupted Sayid, and Sayid handed the radio over to him.
Desmond walked a few steps away before bringing the radio up to his mouth. "Jack?"
Desmond almost dreaded telling Jack more than telling Claire. Charlie had wanted to tell Jack about Naomi. Charlie trusted Jack and Desmond had heard the story about Charlie almost dying. Jack had saved him once. Desmond only wished that he could have saved him again.
"Desmond?" Jack's voice rose, surprised.
"Jack, can anyone hear you?"
There was a pause before he answered, his voice laced with dread. "I'm with Kate."
"I made it back okay, but Charlie, Charlie didn't. He did what he was supposed to do, but he didn't make it." Desmond swallowed.
Jack didn't answer, and for a while Desmond wondered if his batteries had died, or if something had gone wrong.
Finally, Jack responded, with only one word, which came out strangled, and Desmond could barely understand. "Claire."
"Please don't tell her yet. I don't want her to spend her time coming back down here mourning over Charlie."
"She deserves to know." Jack almost sounded angry.
Desmond silently begged for Jack to understand. "I need to tell her Jack. Please."
Desmond could almost hear the silent nod that Jack made, before agreeing. "Okay."
"Thank you."
"We'll be arriving on the beach tomorrow morning."
"All right. Be safe brother."
"Desmond?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm glad you're okay."
Desmond smiled. "Yeah, me too."
Jack turned off the radio and looked at Kate. From listening to the conversation that Jack had with Desmond, Kate had figured out what had happened.
They'd spent the entire day walking back down the mountain, dragging Ben with them. Naomi had been carried as well, deciding to let the boat's crew deal with her, since she belonged with them.
When they decided to camp for the night, Jack had quietly pulled Kate aside, and they had gone to a tiny creek, where they both freshened up, with two rags that Kate had with her. They'd talked and laughed, until Jack had decided to check in with Hurley.
Kate sat on a rock, and waited for Jack to speak.
"Charlie's gone."
"I know."
Jack just stared at the dirt in front of him. He couldn't believe it. Everything had been going so good, Jack had thought that they were finally free, but they weren't.
"I shouldn't have let him go."
Kate sighed. "Jack, you can't blame yourself for this."
"It was my fault. I let this happen."
"He knew the risks when he volunteered."
Jack shook his head.
Kate stood up and approached Jack, who was sitting on a different rock. She sat beside him and took his hand in hers.
"Jack, look at me."
Jack slowly met Kate's eyes. They were sad, but determined.
"Charlie knew the risks. He wanted to do this. I remember when you got caught in the cave in. He wanted to go in for you, and no one could stop him."
Jack sighed. "I know."
"Without Charlie doing what he did, we wouldn't be going home. This wouldn't be happening. He knew what he was getting into. You can't blame yourself. You saved us Jack. You lead us all up there, and you made that call to that boat. And now we're going to be rescued. You made that happen. So don't let this ruin that. It's sad that Charlie's gone, and I'm sure Claire is going to have a hard time with it, but we'll all be there for her, right?"
"Yeah."
They stared at each other, a sad smile passing between them, before Kate stood up." Come on Jack, you've got some people to lead."
The night was long, and Desmond dreaded the return of the others. Everyone else was silent. Sawyer hadn't cracked a single joke all night, and Hurley seemed to be near tears.
Desmond resorted to sitting by himself, near a crackling fire. He felt for the paper in his pocket, the one that Charlie had spent the entire day writing on. When he was reassured of its presence, Desmond laid down, not in hopes of sleeping, but in hopes of being given the right words to say to Claire.
Before Desmond knew it, it was morning and the others were due to be back at any time. Desmond paced the beach, still not finding the words to tell Claire. Juliet sat by herself, surely waiting for Jack, while Sawyer restlessly skimmed the jungle every once in a while, searching for Kate. Jin sat beside him, waiting for Sun.
But soon, Jin's rejoicing voice, calling for Sun, gave it away. They were back, and they were waiting for answers that Jack was refusing to give.
Juliet sprang to her feet, then remembered her place, trying not to act too anxious.
Sawyer also started to walk over to Kate, then he noticed how close she was to Jack, and how Jack seemed to not want to let her leave his side. Something had happened the night before, and Sawyer didn't want to know what that was.
Jin ran to Sun, and they embraced. Sayid shook hands with Jack, and then Jack walked over to Desmond.
He nodded at him. "I didn't tell anyone. Only Kate knows."
Desmond nodded back gratefully, and then spotted Claire behind Jack, searching for Charlie, before finding Desmond. Her eyes lit up, and Desmond sighed as Claire approached him.
"Where's Charlie?"
Hurley sat at his tent, watching everyone greet each other, smiling. They had no idea of what had happened, and of what pain they had in store. Hurley had lost his best friend the day before. He'd lost a best friend before. Twice actually. First there was Johnny. Sure he hadn't died, but not seeing him ever again was almost the same. And then there was Libby. Hurley hadn't thought that he could experience more pain than loosing Libby, but he was wrong. Now Charlie was gone. Who was next? Hurley had thought that everything was finally going to change, but he should have known better.
Desmond watched Claire's reaction. She was shocked and scared, but once it registered that Charlie was gone, she started sobbing, almost collapsing in the sand if Desmond hadn't grabbed her arms, holding her steady.
"No! Charlie can't be gone!" Claire's screams echoed through the camp, and everyone began surrounding Jack, questioning him. Jack filled them in, while Desmond tried to calm Claire.
"I'm sorry Claire. I'm sorry."
"Why couldn't you save him? You saved him before." Claire became angry, shouting at Desmond while tears streamed down her cheeks. Aaron began to cry at the sound of his mother's voice. Rose shushed the boy, who was in her arms, while Bernard put an arm around her.
"I know."
"Why?" Claire demanded.
"I tried to save him, but Charlie wouldn't let me."
"What?"
"Charlie knew that if he didn't die, then you wouldn't get rescued. Claire, he died for you."
"That's supposed to make me feel better? Why didn't you stop him?"
"I tried to. He knocked me out." Desmond bit his lip. In truth, at the time, when he had offered to Charlie to do it himself, swim down to The Looking Glass, he'd been hoping that something would happen, another way out. He just wished that way out hadn't been Charlie.
Desmond stared into Claire's eyes, his hands still holding her arms. He had noticed how pretty her eyes were, and now, they seemed even prettier.
"I-I don't know. I don't know what to say." Claire said softly, her eyes becoming vacant.
"You don't have to say anything."
"Excuse me, I have to, I have to go." Claire pulled out of Desmond's arms and started to walk down the beach.
Desmond turned to watch her go to her tent and sit down on the makeshift bed. Desmond sighed and turned away, giving the woman privacy.
Claire was scared. Charlie had been her anchor the entire time that she'd been on the island. She had kept telling herself that she could be alone, that she was better off that way, but in her heart she knew that she was lost without Charlie. He'd always been there for her, even when she'd pushed him away. He'd never given up on her, even till the end, when he had given up on himself. That's when she'd become the anchor, assuring him that everything was going to be okay, even though she wasn't sure if it was.
Charlie had always had the right thing to say, whether he was making her laugh, or making her feel safe. He was never selfish. He had always protected her, and Aaron. He'd been like a dad to Aaron. In Claire's mind, she kind of always hoped that they would become a family someday, when they got rescued. Now that dream was gone, along with Charlie.
Fresh tears spilled over, and Claire put a hand over her mouth as she sobbed. She fell upon her knees, grabbing the cradle with her free hand. She didn't know what to do, she didn't have anyone now. Sure she had Jin and Sun, and she could even think of Hurley or Jack, but none of them had a reason to see her again after they got rescued. She was alone.
Claire opened her eyes a few hours later, and realized that she had fallen asleep. Claire looked at the cradle, where Aaron was sleeping. Rose must have put him there. Claire bent down beside the baby, and picked him up, holding him close to her. She closed her eyes and tried to remember what Charlie looked like. When Claire opened her eyes, she saw something glinting in the sun in the cradle. Claire moved closer and realized that it was Charlie's Driveshaft ring. Claire started crying as she stared at it.
She put Aaron back in the cradle and reached for the ring. She closed her hand and held it tightly. Charlie must have put it there before he left. Then she remembered.
You've gotta promise me something. While I'm gone, don't worry about me.
Claire touched her lips. He'd known. He knew that he was going to die, and yet he didn't want to tell her. He'd kissed her and left.
Claire opened her hand, and put the ring on. It fit perfectly on her ring finger. Claire smiled, and held her hand out in front of her.
Desmond noticed Claire smiling from where he was sitting at his tent, and he stood up and went over to her, sitting beside her.
"Is that Charlie's ring?"
Claire nodded, smiling. "He left it for me."
Desmond looked down. "I am sorry Claire."
"I know. It's okay Desmond."
Desmond looked at her and knew that she meant it. A weight lifted off Desmond's shoulders in that moment, and he felt like he could finally breathe again.
Desmond stood and started to say goodbye when he heard a crinkle and realized that Charlie's paper was still in his pocket.
"Claire," Desmond reached into his pocket and handed her the piece of paper. "Before Charlie died, he gave this to me to give to you. He said it was his greatest hits."
Claire's mouth opened in shock as she took the letter. "Thank you."
Desmond nodded. "I'm afraid it's a bit damp. Sorry about that." Then he walked away.
Claire opened the letter slowly. She read it to herself. It didn't make any sense. Why would he be telling her the things that happened to him? Then she read the last one.
#1 The night I met you.
Claire smiled through her tears, and carefully folded the paper back up.
Juliet wringed her hands as she paced the shoreline. With Claire being alone, Juliet felt that she should tell Jack that Claire was his half sister. At least then, Claire would be taken care of, but then Juliet didn't know how either of them would take the news, that they shared the same father. Finally Juliet decided to tell Jack about it and let him decide whether or not to tell Claire.
Jack was sitting by himself, trying to process all of the information of the past few days, when Juliet sat down beside him.
"Hey."
"Hey." Jack smiled at her. "I think people trust you more now."
Juliet gave him a small smile. "Even Sayid is making conversation with me."
"Well then, you're set." Jack grinned and Juliet looked away.
"Jack, I need to tell you something."
"Oh no, what? Is it bad?"
"I'm not sure."
"How can you not be sure?"
"Jack, you know how your father made those trips to Australia when you were a kid?"
"Yeah.'
"What did he tell you about them?"
"That they were business trips. Where is this going Juliet?"
"Well, he lied. Jack, your father was having a affair."
"I know."
"You know?"
Jack nodded and looked out at the ocean. "My mom knew too, but she let it go. She loved my dad too much to just let him go. He loved her too. It was complicated I guess."
"Do you know that Christian had a daughter with the woman he had the affair with?"
Jack quickly turned towards Juliet, his eyes widening.
"What if I told you that your sister is here on this island?"
Jack's mouth dropped and he shook his head. "That's not possible."
"But it is. Jack, your sister is Claire."
Jack looked behind him at Claire's tent, and then looked back at Juliet. "How do you know?
"We took blood from both of you, and we had the files Jack. I'm only telling you this because I think that you need to be there for Claire."
Jack sighed. "I always wanted a sister."
"I think you should go talk to her Jack. She could use a friend right now."
Jack put a hand on Juliet's back as he stood up. "Thank you Juliet."
"You're welcome."
Jack slowly approached Claire's tent. He had no idea of how to tell her that they were related. They'd spent all this time together on the island and never knew it.
"Hey Claire." Jack stood at the head of her tent, hands in his pockets.
"Hi Jack. You wanna sit down?"
"Sure." Jack sat beside her and reached over to Aaron, stroking the baby's cheek with his finger. Jack smiled as the baby softly cooed. He was Aaron's uncle.
"How are you doing Claire?"
"Okay I guess. I'm still kind of shocked."
"Well if you need someone to talk to, I'm here. I know how it feels to lose someone."
"Who?"
"My father." Jack looked at Claire.
"My father wasn't apart of my life. He had another family in the states."
"I'm sorry."
"Wasn't your fault."
Jack couldn't help but laugh at the irony of it.
"What's so funny?"
"Claire, I don't know how else to say this, but, we're talking about the same guy."
"What?"
"You're my sister." Jack looked at her,
"What?" Claire repeated.
"Christian. That was my father's name."
"I never learned my father's name. I didn't want to. He abandoned my family. Jack, who told you this?"
"Juliet told me. They took blood samples from us and found out that we were related. Then they checked up on our families and found out that my dad had a affair with your mom."
"How do we know she's not lying Jack?"
"I trust her." Jack stared at Claire. "But if you don't, then when we get home we can double check."
Claire nodded and looked at Aaron. "I'd love for it to be true Jack, believe me I would, but I just don't trust Juliet the way you do."
"I understand."
Claire looked back at Jack, smiling. "I always wanted a brother, and if you are my brother, then I have the best brother in the world."
Jack grinned at her. "And I have the best sister in the world."
They fell silent, taking in the information that they had just learned.
"Listen, when we get home, if you want, you can live with me. That is, if I still have my house. I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm sure Oceanic will give us golden tickets or something." Jack offered.
"That would be great Jack. But only until I figure out where I'm going to live."
"You can stay as long as you want."
They fell silent, and Jack looked around him. By the shore, Sawyer was flirting with Kate, but she seemed unsettled.
Jack sighed and looked back at Claire. At least now, they would never be alone.
A/N: Reviews would really be appreciated!!