Author's Note: Just a little something I was thinking of the other day. Set during The End of the World, with bits of dialogue from that episode. Reviews are always appreciated. :)
Unbeta'd, so all mistakes are mine.
He watches her. Sees the dejection and sadness in her stance as she watches her planet burn. Good, he tells himself. The sooner she realizes the truth about this life, about him, the better. That it's not all heroics and running and saving the day. It's impossible choices and death and acceptance.
But it breaks him just the same, knowing that he's caused her pain. Intentionally. Even though it's merely a scratch next to the gaping wound he carries. This was a test, of sorts, painful yet necessary. Almost a way of linking them, witnessing the end of their planets, except that this one was empty and she was completely innocent, whereas he...
He was not, and the condemning silence in his mind when awake was only marginally better than the screaming terror of his nightmares.
She should run. Run, Rose Tyler, his mind whispered. You deserve so much better.
Oh, he could show her the stars. Delight her with the wonders of the cosmos, the endless variety of sentient life, strange and beautiful worlds lost forever except to him. But in the end she would be broken. Be it days, perhaps years (if he's very lucky), just a flicker of light in his too-long life.
This life could so easily break her spirit, so beautiful and warm and giving that it pushed past his defenses. Past the anger and loathing that hollered that he didn't deserve company, especially the balm that this brave, compassionate girl brought him. That he should be alone. That even if she was mentally and emotionally strong enough, that one day her body wouldn't be. She would lie broken at his feet, like so many others. Already the thought tore at him so fiercely he almost cried out.
It's a war within him - he's always at war - wanting her, needing her so badly, after so short a time, that he feels compelled to drive her away.
He strolls casually to stand at her side. Bathed in the red glow, he can't help but admire her composure, though her eyes and voice are laced with sadness as she laments the unheeded passing of her planet.
He can feel her hesitation and grief. Just a few words, a carefully kept distance, and she might go home and be safe. And yet he cannot push her away. Every fiber of his being screams against it.
"Come with me."
He knows what she needs and takes her hand, and it's like a surge of warmth straight to his hearts, the feeling of her small hand in his. Trusting him implicitly. He can't bring himself to tell her she shouldn't.
Back to twenty-first century Earth, bustling with life. He watches her intently as she tries to make sense of it, this shift from destruction and fire and death to life, chaotic and oblivious and vibrant. He's already forced her to grow up, a touch of innocence forever lost from her eyes. She had wanted to know about him, had pushed him earlier and he'd lost his temper, but she deserves to know, so he tells her. As much as he can bear to.
"They're all gone. I'm the only survivor. I'm left traveling on my own 'cause there's no one else."
"There's me."
Chips. He adores chips, he thinks as her lovely brown eyes catch his, tongue peeking out of a smile that renders him speechless. Quite a feat, that. He grins back at her, can't seem to help himself. She's not leaving.
Maybe for now he can pretend. Pretend that it won't end badly. That just this once the universe has given him a gift, and perhaps he shouldn't question it too closely. He only knows that he will never willingly be able to let her go.