He'd lost count of how many attempts he'd made to see her again.
The stump of chalk in his fingers scraped across the board above his desk, another white tally mark left on the black surface. A forest of small white marks, tallies grouped by five, covered the board-each defining another failure to make the jump. The lines were neat at first, but as frustration set in, the lines became crooked, uneven scrawls.
A year had passed since he discovered the secret to safely traversing the flow of time, but no matter how he tried...he could never reach that day. He would overshoot it by a large margin, or land at some point between his falling into the library and emerging in this new era, too late to stop what happened. This last attempt landed him two weeks after the event. He was too late.
Add growled under his breath, an uttered profanity heard by only his Dynamos. No matter how he modified the time travel formula, it failed. Scattered notes, filled with formulae scribbled and scratched over, lined the floor from every failed attempt, the albino too irritated to bother cleaning it up. To forgo his normal habit of cleaning was a clear sign that he'd become manic in his attempts.
Pausing only long enough to recollect his thoughts before he would make another attempt, he finally acknowledged the mess, giving a command to his Dynamos to start cleaning. The sentient weapon set to work, the strangely shaped spikes piercing each crumpled sheet and carrying them to a trashbin. Watching them, Add frowned-how many formulae had he run through trying to find the one that would work?
Before he could ponder further, a discarded sheet fell by his foot. Picking it up, Add decided to take a glance at whatever he'd scribbled onto it, hoping that maybe seeing one of his previous attempts would jog his thoughts and help him piece together a formula that would work.
Reading over it, it didn't take long for him to figure out which attempt it was. It was the closest he was able to get to that day-three days prior to it, in fact. In his rage that he'd overshot the mark, he'd returned to this era...in hindsight, perhaps he should have remained for those few days, so he would be ready to save her.
No, that wouldn't work, he argued with himself, shaking his head. It'd be too risky to stay. It could damage the timeline if someone saw me and then saw my younger self.
However...perhaps he could work with this. After all, it landed him quite close to that day, so maybe with a bit of modification, he could reach that day-perhaps even moments before she died.
Snatching the notes for his last formula off the desk, he skimmed over it, looking between the two sheets. The rough "skeleton" of each formula was the same, and he had only modified a few parts...
Add's lips curled into a slightly manic smile. He knew what to do now.
"I did it...! I finally did it!"
A crazed laugh echoed through the warehouse Add called his lab after an unnerving three days of silence. Three straight days, Add had worked on what would become his last time travel formula. This would be his final jump, success or failure be damned. His calculations were flawless-with one last jump, he would reach the day when everything crumbled, the day when she died.
He would finally see her again.
He would finally save her.
His Dynamos stabbed into the air in front of him, splintering the fabric of time and space and tearing open a portal. Examining the formula one final time, he took a deep breath to steel his nerves. Would she recognize him like this? Would he be strong enough to protect her? Would this change his own existence?
Would he even exist if he succeeded?
Pull it together, Add! he scolded himself. This was no time for doubts-he was so close to his goal! All he had to do was step through the portal, and he would finally see her again...
The thought of finally seeing her smiling face again, after nine long years, brought a tear to his eye. "Just wait a little longer, I'm on my way..."
Throwing aside his doubts, he leapt through the portal.
The fall was familiar enough, having gone through it countless times. Like a roaring river, it swept him through the future and past simultaneously, moments of his own life and of others zipping past him at a blinding clip. No matter how many times he'd made the jump, it was always so disorienting, and it never failed to send a sharp pain through his left eye. He pressed his palm to his eye through the eyepatch, trying to will the pain away as he righted himself mid-fall. He didn't want to land on his back, after all-especially if he would land in the middle of the attack...
The formula programmed into the Dynamos kicked in as soon as he reached his "stop", cracking open another portal below him. Dropping through feet-first, Add shut his eye to avoid being blinded, hitting the ground somewhat roughly. Those armored boots served to support his ankles, but didn't stop him from tumbling forward against the grass.
Even with his eye still closed, however, he knew he had probably missed yet again. The smell of smoke, of burning buildings and bodies, was absent, replaced with the sweet scent of early spring. The air wasn't searing hot with roaring flames-it was cool, and he felt dew on his cheek. The cracking of splintering wood beams was replaced with the quiet sound of birds chirping and the village bustling.
Slowly pushing himself upright, he looked about, trying to get a bead on his surroundings. He'd landed on a hill a short distance from the village-his home. But...something felt very wrong.
"...Dynamos, give me the current date and time."
The lavender screen projected by the Dynamos gave him an accurate reading every time he needed to find out where he had landed, and this time was no different. He'd landed on that day, just an hour before soldiers had stormed into the village-murdering everyone and enslaving him.
Add ran over the events so painfully burned into his mind of that event. She was at home at this time, preparing dinner. He himself had been sent to the market to buy some ingredients-and when the soldiers attacked, the shopkeep had helped him hide until the building had been destroyed, and he barely escaped.
If I stop the soldiers in their tracks, they can't attack the village... He started formulating a plan. And even if they call for backup, it would take too long for them to get there-I'll have already saved her...
The Dynamos formed two platforms under Add's feet as he flew upward, examining the distance for the rather large army that was making its way to the village. Their numbers, according to the frantic cries of the villagers, had been many-he wouldn't be able to miss them.
And yet...
Where was the army?
Jumping down from his platform, Add's brow furrowed, confusion crossing his features. An army that large, large enough to destroy a village in just half an hour, couldn't possibly hide-the fields and hills were open, the only paths to the village clear.
"Excuse me, mister, are you lost?"
The greeting caused Add to jump, though not from being caught off guard. No, what startled him was the voice that had spoken-a child's voice, one all too familiar. Looking down, a brief sense of dread fell over him when he regarded his younger self, with innocent eyes and a cheerful smile, looking up at him.
That can't be right...I was at the market... Had he forgotten a detail? Were his Dynamos giving him the wrong time? That must have been it-it would explain why the army wasn't visible yet, and why his child self was wandering around outside the village. He was too early again, though he'd reached the right day. He'd just have to wait a little longer. That was it.
"Add, dear, what have we said about talking to strangers?"
Blood ran cold at the second voice, gentle even when she chastised his younger self. Slowly turning his head, he found his vision blurring just slightly with tears when he saw her, just as he remembered her.
Long, pale lavender hair. A flowing white dress, sleeves tied with red ribbons. Warm eyes of a beautiful honey color-he'd always been told his eye color came from his father. Add had to resist actually crying when she walked toward them.
"Mommy, look, he has white hair like me!" his younger self chirped, confirming it.
He'd finally found her-his mother.
"Oh, so he does," she noted with a slight hum, adjusting the basket on her arm. Add glanced at the contents-a loaf of bread and some vegetables, what he had been sent to buy. Had she gone to buy them herself?
They were tiny details, but they didn't fit...
"Mister, are you lost?" the boy asked again, gently tugging on his hand. "You don't look very familiar, are you far from home?"
"...You could say that..." Add replied quietly, still fervently trying to fit the details together. At this moment, his mother should have been at home...and the army was approaching quickly...yet his mother was standing here, and the army was nowhere to be seen...
"I can lead you to the inn if you need a place to stay for the night," his mother offered gently. "I would offer to let you stay at our house, but unfortunately we don't have room, and dinner should be done soon."
Finally he couldn't stop himself from saying it. "I-it isn't safe!"
"What?" She blinked in confusion, before Add began to frantically elaborate.
"You aren't safe here! In less than an hour, soldiers will be here-they're going to kill you and destroy this whole village! All because of your research!"
"What are you saying?" The question was laced with suspicion and confusion in equal measures. "Why would soldiers attack us for research?"
"It's a taboo to research Nasods!" His voice grew frantic, trying to get the point through without possibly damaging the timeline or causing a paradox. "Ever since the war...!"
"War...? I'm afraid I don't follow...there hasn't been any war, and if Nasod research were a taboo, I believe I would have already been informed..."
"B-but..."
"I'm sorry, perhaps you're looking for someone else?"
The words fell on deaf ears, Add still trying to figure out what was going on. The Dynamos projected another screen, their sudden movement startling his child self and sending him skittering back toward his mother. Calculations running off the formula he'd used filled the screen, before a single end result came up.
「Discrepancy Rate: 42.72%」
This...this can't be...
The timelines didn't line up. This was the right day, the right time...and yet, this wasn't the right timeline. He'd missed-again. Only this time, rather than missing the day, he'd missed the entire timeline.
"Mommy, he looks kinda scary..." Add's child-self whimpered, clinging to her leg. She gently brushed her fingers through his hair, trying to turn away.
"Come on, Add, let's go home," she told the boy, taking his hand and starting to walk away. This seemed to snap Add out of his thoughts-timed perfectly with another pain shooting through his eye.
"M-Mom, wait, it's me!" he called, reaching toward her for just a moment before clamping his hand over his eye.
"I'm afraid you're mistaken," she responded, though her gentle tone felt like ice. "I don't know you."
Those words confirmed every fear in his mind. His own mother didn't recognize him...and he had found himself in the wrong timeline, with all of his effort wasted. He'd tried so hard to meet her again, to save her, to prevent her death...
And she didn't even realize it?
All his work, and he didn't even get a reward?
Anger replaced the sadness, teeth gritting together hard enough that Add could feel them grind together. The child clinging to his mother's leg tried to hide behind her, fear in those innocent eyes. "M-Mommy, let's go ho-"
He didn't get to finish his suggestion before a splatter of red smeared over his cheek. The pointed spike of a Dynamo had pierced her chest, and she crumpled without so much as a scream. The boy gave a frantic yelp as his mother died before him-though he didn't have long to mourn as he found a Dynamo jab through his own chest.
"Pathetic...!"
The sight of a dead mother and her dead son didn't bring forth feelings of sadness. Rather, they brought forth feelings of anger. "I just wanted to save you, Mom..."
The pain in his eye was gone, long forgotten. Unbeknownst to him, he'd ripped his eyepatch off-but it didn't matter. Both eyes were that same hideous black, so there was no point to hiding one. Time and space rippled around him, his anger evident as another portal cracked above him-this one a vibrant magenta, as opposed to the cool lavender as his previous ones.
"All I wanted to do was save you...for years, I wanted to prevent your death...and now you mock me by making it all pointless..."
Bursts of energy rained down from the portal, crashing into the village with enough destructive force to tear the buildings down to the foundation.
"In that case...I'll just destroy this damned world..."
The irony of the situation wouldn't dawn on Add until quite a long time later, during a brief moment of lucidity-he'd wanted to save his mother, and in the end was the one who caused her death.