A/N: I made a manip (see the cover image) and it practically begged me to write something about it... this is the result. Nothing long or epic, but I hope you like it just the same :)
Also Note: It's a fairytale land AU & Regina is married to King Leopold, so there's a small allusion to marital rape... nothing explicit.
"Do you really have to go?" Her voice is soft as she speaks, and even as she offers an alternative, it's clear to both women that she already knows the answer. "You could stay, with me, in the castle. I'm sure the king wouldn't mind." It's a reflex that makes her voice the offer, experience having taught her that pleading is a fruitless act, so it surfaces in a different way. She doesn't want her to leave, can't stand the thought of being left alone again in that awfully large castle with the king and his selfish little brat.
"You know I can't stay, Regina." There's a weight in her words, one that is share only between them, the rest of the world seemingly oblivious to their plight. "I don't want to leave, I really don't, but I have to do this."
The queen lets out a long wary sigh, before whispering a simple "I know." She's been fighting for so long and with the former fairy's departure she's afraid she won't be able to do so any longer, afraid that she might resign herself to her dreadful fate. The thought alone clenches painfully at her heart, which she suspects is deserved considering her most recent magic lesson was to literally tear someone's heart from their chest.
"This isn't goodbye." Olivia assures, but all it achieves is a scoff from the other woman. So she reaches out, placing her hand in the young queen's own. "I mean it, Gina. This is a farewell for now, not forever."
"You can't know that, Liv. And I understand, I do. You have to go." She bites her lip and nods to herself, squeezing the other woman's hand before pulling it towards her torso. Regina looks down, staring at their clasped hands and fighting desperately not to cry. She thinks instead of another life, one where she might actually, finally, be happy. She thinks that perhaps someday she won't feel so alone. She even dares to think that maybe, one day, when she's not married to an old king to whom she's invisible unless certain needs are required, when she's not forced to watch over a selfish child, when she's not consuming magic and the memory of a night in the stable ceases to haunt her, that maybe she'll actually begin to feel alive.
She's startled out of her thoughts when warm fingers wrap around her forearm. "Hey," the former fairy says, "look at me." She looks up into dark eyes and she wants to smile, because everything about this woman makes her feel, but her mind is reeling and her emotions are a mess and she just... can't. So she doesn't smile and she doesn't speak and she simply does as the other woman has asked her to. "I know what you're thinking," and that certainly gets her attention, because the queen herself isn't quite sure what she's thinking, "and you need to stop. Stop torturing yourself. I'm not him, nothing's going to happen to me." It feels like a lie to both of them, because there really is no way of knowing, but it's far better than admitting that yes, she could die, just like Daniel. And Olivia isn't him, she's nothing like him at all, but she already cares for her nearly as much and they haven't even known each other that long.
"But what if the Bl-" she starts to protest, but before she can spin off into a fully panicked state, Olivia cuts her off.
"Blue can do whatever the hell she wants." The 'I don't care' goes unspoken, her distaste for the 'superior' fairy all too obvious. "But she won't hurt me, she won't risk her purity, as much of a facade as it is."
"We'll see each other again," she adds, a small smile pulling at her lips, "I promise." It would have been reassuring, if it weren't for the mist in her eyes. It's a promise she isn't sure she can keep, but it's all she can manage not to break down and cry, clinging to the younger woman desperately.
Regina says nothing, simply offers a shaky, sad smile of her own. It doesn't reach her eyes, barely even appears on her lips, but it's more than she thought she could manage. And as the former fairy leans in and places a kiss on her forehead, she knows that Olivia is wrong, somehow knows she won't see her again. So she acts on impulse, pulling the other woman toward her and wrapping her in an embrace. This isn't something she does often, so it's a little strange, but as her fingers meet the soft skin of the former fairy's back, she realizes how natural it feels. Olivia reciprocates quickly enough, wrapping her own arms around the queen's slender figure. She closes her eyes, holding on as long as she'll be allowed, drinking in every feeling that surrounds her in this woman's arms and hoping against all hope that this won't be the last time.
They stay this way for a while, neither aware of how long it lasts before one of them pulls away. The world seems to have stopped, everything happening so slowly, yet so quickly and fluidly that neither woman is sure who pulled away first. They stare into one another's eyes, communicating in a way they have several times before, the silence meaning so much more than anything they could possibly say.
Olivia offers one last little smile before taking a step back and turning away. Regina does nothing to protest, knowing they can't keep delaying this moment forever. So instead she turns away herself, unwilling to watch the other woman's retreating form for fear that she may chase after her. She clenches one hand in a fist by her side while the other rests on her hip, allowing the loss to sweep over her and willing away the tears that are sure to come. Olivia may not be Daniel, but the loss feels the same.