A/N: Ehehe. Alcohol is bad. I don't actually condone the drinking of it at all. It's pretty much ew.
Disclaimer: Don't own. Plz don't sue.
Warning: Slash, cussing, boyish attitude.
Firewhisky Is Not To Be Taken Lightly
"Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!"
Sirius Black emerged, grinning, from an empty bottle of butterbeer. James and Peter cheered, Lily Evans and her 7th year Gryffindor companions giggled, and Remus Lupin even smiled a little, feeling slightly out of place without a book in his lap.
This sort of thing seemed to be becoming more and more frequent; the 7th years would all wind up in the boys dorm, drinking, singing, and playing games. Ever since the year started it was happening every month, and since Lily had finally accepted James' invitation to Hogsmeade, every week. Remus didn't know how he put up with this.
"Your turn, Rem!" Sirius grinned, startling Remus out of his thoughts.
"No, I don't drink. You know that. I sit here watching you lot get trashed, but I don't drink. Ever." Remus gabbled, shaking his head.
"Oh come on, Rem. One can't hurt." Sirius grinned, holding the bottle out enticingly. "Just one drink, and you can go back to laughing while we make arses of ourselves."
Remus hesitated, but sighed. "Oh, fine. One drink. That's all." He reached for the bottle, but Sirius withdrew it, smirking.
"Ah-ah, Moony. If you're only having one, you don't get something tame like Butterbeer, that's for sure. I mean for Christ's sakes, they give that stuff to the third years. Messr. Prongs, if you please?" Sirius waggled his eyebrows at James, who, on cue, withdrew a bottle of firewhisky from underneath his bed.
"Ta-daaaa!" he grinned, and Sirius smirked. Remus felt all the blood rush from his face.
"Oh no. No. I'm not drinking firewhisky. Hell no. Keep it to yourselves."
"Oh yes you are, Rem. Open wide." Sirius grinned as he took the bottle from James, slinking easily from his bed to Remus', an evil smirk on his face.
"Get the hell away from me with that stuff!" Remus backed away towards his headboard, eyes wide in fear.
"You said you'd drink, now down the hatch." Sirius smiled, and when Remus opened his mouth to protest, put the bottle in.
Remus screamed, long and sharp. He knew why they called it firewhisky now. He slapped at Sirius in desperation, sending the drunken boy tumbling, firewhisky sloshing across the bedcovers...
...and setting them on fire.
"Shit, shit!" Remus cried, as he and Sirius flung themselves off the bed in shock, landing in a tangled heap on the floor. The blankets burned away, the girls and Peter screaming, until James came back in from the bathroom, bucket of water in hand, and threw it on the blazing bed.
All fell still and silent for a second, smoke and steam rising from the ashes of Remus' bedspread, until the silence was broken by Remus kicking Sirius in the shin.
"You set fire to my bed!" He cried in a voice that was far too high pitched, jumping to his feet and immediately staggering towards the wall.
"Ow. I think I'm drunk." Remus added, wondering exactly how potent that firewhisky had been.
"Okay, show's over ladies. Gentlemen here needing to get some sleep." James said, ushering the girls out, pausing only to drunkenly kiss Lily goodnight.
"Yeah, and where am I supposed to sleep?" Remus grumbled, folding his arms.
"Sirius burned your bed." Peter shrugged. "Take his."
"Good idea." Remus nodded, heading straight for it.
"Where am I supposed to sleep?" Sirius yelped in horror. He had always been particular about sleep.
Remus shrugged. "Wherever you fall."
"Nuh-uh. I'll just sleep in my bed too."
"Whatever." Remus rolled his eyes, curling up under the blankets. Sirius crawled onto the bed too, lying down next to him, the two boys facing each other as James extinguished the lights and he and Peter crawled into their own beds and all curtains were drawn.
"Remus." Sirius whispered into the darkness.
"What?" Remus sighed, already almost passed out. The last thing he heard before slipping into blackness were three, barely audible words.
"I love you."