A story about cake

Cave Johnson's birthday was rapidly approaching. The company had been planning it for months, and the countdown in the employee break-room had started at thirty days, but now it was mere hours away.

Thursdays were the only day, aside from weekends, that Cave did not come into work. The Birthday Planning Committee had taken advantage of his absence. Banners had been strung up along the corridors, more portraits of Johnson put out, and each of the Test Chambers cheerfully decorated with confetti released from the delivery tubes. Employees had been handed their party hats, and had been given the regulations on the Fun that could be had that day.

Caroline had been charged with making the cake.

It was the most important job, as each one was to be more spectacular than the last. Previously, professionals had been hired, but Caroline had insisted that she bake it. They had let her, but only, they stressed, due to monetary confinements.

She had gone home that evening and done the best she could. It was three tiers – each tier had the Aperture Science ring on the top of it, and the sides were tastefully decorated with details of successful products, patent dates, and cute pictures of Cave himself.

And then it was Friday.

Caroline was standing in a side-room to the main Party Area, the cake held in her hands, her heart racing. From the other side of the door, she heard the Party Escort enter with the pretending-to-be-surprised Cave. There was applause, the statutory 'you shouldn't have's.

The door in front of her opened, and the people on the other side began to sing.

She cut a generous slice of cake, the first slice to be cut, and placed it on a Regulation Paper Plate. She handed it to Cave, the edges of her mouth nervously twitching.

He delicately removed a bite-sized piece of the corner with his fingers and popped it into his mouth. He chewed it. He smiled.

"Remind me why I am not married to you, Caroline."

She was pleased he walked off to talk to the other guests. It would be an embarrassment for him to see her blush this much.