Kids
As the babies settled into bed, Trazooie sighed, looked at the clock on the wall, kissed his lovely, red wife as a morning greeting, then rushed to the same dreary work he always went to at this hour of the day. Nansoo gave a single tired smile: the babies had been crying non-stop all night. Of course, now even the youngest, Kleptooie and Mazourie, were crawling all over the place. Kardle was getting ready to go to kindergarten, even though Matchooie was still a BIT too young. What a day. What a day. And yet somehow, the rambunctious children expressed their pent-up energy...
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Kleptooie cracked an eye open. Gurgling to himself, he blinked, smiled, and waited patiently for the parents to leave. Then, in a loud gurgle of baby code, he barked out, "UP AND AT 'EM, TROOPERS!!"
"Awww..." said Matchooie lazily, "It's too early..."
"Time waits for no baby! Up, NOW!!!!" Kleptooie tipped the clips of his crib with his beak, and crawled down. "ROLL CALL! Matchooie!"
"Here."
"MAZOURIE!"
"I- I'm here," said Mazourie, shyly.
"What're we going to do today, Klepts?" asked Matchooie.
"That's SERGEANT Klepts to you, sir. Our spies in adult base tell us of unnatural activity at sector 246." Mazourie took out a sketch-a pad-and pointed it out as Kleptooie explained.
"There have been two large, round anomalies at sector 246. We have been sent to observe these... anomalies and report back to headquarters. And... watch out for the parents. They're tough today. Now, let's MOVE OUT!"
With that, the babies moved out. "Left... left... left right left! We are babies proud and strong! (We are babies proud and strong!) Save the world for a cream Ding Dong! (Save the world for a cream Ding Dong!)"
"Companyyyyyy- HALT!"
"Sir, we've spotted the anomalies! They appear to be encased in some kind of... transparent strong hold."
"Then let's move in. Machooie, identify. Mazourie, calculate the approximate number of encyclopedias we'll need to reach up."
"About five, sir," said Mazourie.
"This 'anomaly' is babiticus yolkatus, or the common breegull egg."
"In English?"
"These are premature babies. Won't be joining our ranks, however; they will take approximately forever to hatch."
"Hatch, Mr. Matchooie?"
"Transform into babies like us."
"Darn. This platoon needs a few good babies." Mazourie shyly crawled up to the others. "May-maybe we should try to make contact."
"Good idea. Mazourie, please establish the Playskool connection."
"Connection es-established, Sarge."
"Matchooie, attempt to communicate." Matchooie picked up the red microphone. "Unknown units, please identify yourselves."
Egg No. 1 said, in egg code, to Egg No. 2, "What the HECK are THEY trying to do, Kazooie?"
Egg No. 2 responded, "I dunno, Traz, but the more evolved are real pains in the butt. (in egg code to the babies) Will ya keep it quiet down there?! I'm tryin' ta hatch!!!!"
Matchooie put down the microphone and looked surprised. "They seem hostile. Should we attack?" Kleptooie didn't hesitate.
"Let's get in closer. Platoon, book pile!" And the tower of books was built up to the eggs. Matchooie climbed up, looked into the glass "box" *a.k.a an incubator*, and tapped. "Are you creatures hostile?"
"No, but we can be if we don't get to hatching very soon!" said Egg No. 2.
"You won't be able to hatch until forever! That is all."
"Rats."
Egg-Traz suddenly whispered to Egg-Kazooie, "What now? What do we do?"
"We're eggs. We don't DO anything."
"I don't get it."
"Come, Traz. We must prepare for tomorrow night."
"What are we going to do tomorrow night, Kaz?"
"TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! After we hatch, that is."
"Don't bother with the world, Kaz. Trust me. The REAL money comes from marketing Ding Dongs to stupid military babies."
At THAT time, the book tower began to wobble. Matchooie tried to catch his balance, but wasn't even expert at talking in "adult code", far less flying, so....
CRASH!! "WAAAAAH!!!!!"
Poor Nansoo came rushing in at the sound of the screaming, and found all her babies lying on the ground, books strewn everywhere and a Playskool sing-and-record sitting next to her incubated eggs. Picking them up, she walked over to the cradles and put band-aids on the respective places, then went to sit on her eggs. (She only ran the incubator twice a day to cook, and do chores).
Kleptooie growled. "So close! So close! But..." He brightened. "At least I have a ding dong!" said he, picking up the creamy soft cake and smearing it all over himself before licking it off. As all the others did a close copy of his action, Kleptooie thought, "We came out on the bad end to an unforeseen accident which resulted in myself, Matchooie and Mazourie getting the undesirable 'boo-boos'. Oh well, it was nap time, anyway."