The Ford Capri tore across London to an abandoned warehouse. Bodie and Doyle were all "tooled up". Bodie had a B.A.R , Uzi, 50 Cal and a couple of potato mashers. Doyle had some brass knucks, harsh words and a wistful smile.

" 'Ere Doyle, 'owcum you always see the best in people when all we come across are scumbags! " growled Bodie , adjusting his ammo.

" What goes around comes around. People listen to reason. If that fails I hit them with a two by four" said Doyle " Look out, there's some cardboard boxes right in the way "

" You pillock , you 'it those cardboard boxes. You get your licence from a packet of frosties? " Bodie asked

" Leave it out, pal. I'm doing nearly thirty here! " grimaced Doyle

" 'Oo is the villain this week then? " said Bodie

" We 'ad the exotic villain from africa last week. Then the angry hippies week before that. So that leaves the ex-army major gone potty! "replied Doyle

" Fair do! 'Ere , did you notice that Cowley got shot in " The Ipcress File" and yet he's still alive! "mentioned Bodie

" Schtumm, mate, we never talk about that! " whispered Bodie

The deadly duo reached the abandoned warehouse and pulled up with smoking tires

" You can't park 'ere! " said the NCP parking attendent

" We're the professionals, pal. Now keep your nose out of it, alright?" roared Bodie

" It's Two quid for an hour " insisted the attendent

" Can I shoot him? " said Bodie

" Just give him the money. Let's get the villain. Cue the music " relied Doyle

The army major stood on a factory roof . He had a remote control attached to his wrist with a chain.

" I'm ready to wipe out North London with this rather implausibly cheap device! " the major said.

" Maybe we should let him. I'm a Chelsea fan myself "said Bodie

" I'll try and talk to him " said Doyle " Meanwhile you sneak over there and try and shoot holes in him! "

" 'Old on my son " said Bodie " That's a remote from an old Ferguson TV. I reckon that majors bluffing"

" 'Ere Pal " Bodie shouted to the major " You're full of hot air, chum. That remote is aload of rubbish. I'm gonna take it and stick it…"

Just then , the major pressed the button and north London was vaporised.

" I reckon Cowley might 'ave a few words when we get back to the office! " said Bodie

" Ee might 'ave a job! Remember where 'is office is? " laughed Doyle