Harry's Horrible Summer

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter because if I did, I would have to pay for the replacement staircase.

A/N: Yay! Another fanfic! This one started completely randomly and I have no idea where it's headed because I haven't planned out the plot. Things will happen as I think of them and if you want something to happen, review and I will consider it.

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Bang, Bang

"Get out of bed, lazy boy!" Harry's aunt screeched at him from the hallway, though it was a rather quiet sort of screech in an effort to let Dudley and his Uncle Vernon sleep an extra ten minutes.

Harry sighed and rubbed his bloodshot eyes. He hadn't really been sleeping anyway; it was more like meditating, except without the trance thing.

Harry looked at the clock. It was 6:30 in the morning, and he blinked in surprise. The night had passed so quickly. Scrambling out of bed, he quickly dressed and ran/walked/tiptoed downstairs and started cooking breakfast. Bacon, eggs, toast, and fresh-squeezed orange juice: It all had to be ready by 7:00 promptly or he would be blamed for Dudley not making it to his summer job on time. Uncle Vernon had managed to get Dudley an internship at his company, an act that Harry was sure was illegal.

The ceiling started creaking and Harry flinched as some plaster fell down on him and into the bacon cooking on the stove. Dudley was like a bloodhound when it came to food. He could always tell when someone was cooking in the house or when there was edible food in the fridge. Harry was worried, though. Dudley's weight problem had grown worse, not better from the diet, though that might have had something to do with the candy Dudley stole from the offices at his internship.

Dudley came galloping down the stairs. The fourth step up instantly gave way.

Bloody hell, Harry thought, that was wicked!

Dudley moaned and stirred in the bloody wreckage of the staircase. Aunt Petunia came running, took a look, and started to scream. Harry plugged his ears and tried to get rid of his grin.

"BOY!" Uncle Vernon shouted from the top of the stairs, furious that his sleep had been interrupted, "WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"I didn't do anything," Harry replied, still doing his best to keep his amusement under control. Aunt Petunia stopped screaming and called an ambulance.

"NONSENSE! IT MUST HAVE BEEN YOU AND THAT – THAT BLASTED SCHOOL OF YOURS!" Uncle Vernon shouted at Harry, unappeased.

"Magic? I didn't do anything," Harry defended himself. Uncle Vernon started to turn purple. Dudley passed out again.

"You are NOT, under any circumstance, to use the M-word in this house. Is that clear?" Uncle Vernon hissed at Harry his hideous, purple face glancing nervously in different directions, trying to see if any neighbors had come to watch the spectacle.

The ambulance arrived. Aunt Petunia sobbed in relief from where she was washing the blood off Dudley's head where he had banged in when the stairs collapsed.

The medical personnel brought out a stretcher and attempted to move Dudley onto it. It didn't work. Harry and Uncle Vernon had, by this time, stopped glaring at each other and were looking at Dudley, respectively, in amusement and anxiousness.

"Why the bloody hell aren't you getting my son medical attention right now?" Uncle Vernon bellowed at the trained medical practitioners. One of them screwed up his courage.

"He – he doesn't fit on the stretcher," he said hesitantly.

"Well, GET A BIGGER ONE!" Uncle Vernon shouted at him and the guy promptly burst into tears. One of his peers took mercy on him and brought out another stretcher. They managed to secure both stretchers together, and, in the end, Dudley barely fit, but Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon were satisfied. The medical people carried Dudley onto the ambulance (with three minor incidents: 1) Dudley was so heavy they almost dropped him, 2) They almost dropped him again, and, 3) Nurse Jones stepped on Uncle Vernon's foot) and started looking for signs of a concussion right away.

"There is room in the ambulance for one family member," Nurse Jones said from a safe distance away from Uncle Vernon.

"You go, Petunia," Uncle Vernon said, "I'll stay here and take care of the house repairs."

"Alright," Petunia said and sniffed, "Our Didley-dums will be fine, won't he?" She climbed into the ambulance after Nurse Jones and it sped away to the nearest hospital. Uncle Vernon turned his attention to Harry.

"Get in the cupboard now," he told Harry.

"Uncle Vernon? Um…there is no cupboard. The stairs collapsed on it…"

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Harry looked around the street. It was gray, dark, and muddy. A pair of gigantic trash bins sat against the back of the store. It wasn't a street, he decided, it was an alley.

Uncle Vernon had dropped Harry off in London after realizing there wasn't a cupboard, ordering Harry to go upstairs, and then realizing there wasn't any stairs.

"I don't have the time to deal with you," Uncle Vernon had told him and then shoved him in the car with his trunk.

The trunk was dented. Dudley had fallen on it. Harry wondered whether it was Dudley's foot or head that had caused the massive dent. Uncle Vernon had made Harry leave Hedwig behind. She was stuck in her cage upstairs, inaccessible. He was really worried that Uncle Vernon might try to do something to her once the stairs were fixed. He was also even more worried about her starving to death before the stairs were fixed.

What was even worse was that he didn't have his invisibility cloak. It had been under the floorboard under his bed. He had his wand, which he had been carrying around with him, but he couldn't use it due to the underage restrictions.

So, here he was, stuck in the middle of London with nothing but a wand he couldn't use and a conspicuous trunk (which would surely attract attention because most Muggles use suitcases) with no way to contact anyone or find a way into the Magical world.

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